>Be 24m, tall, clean, fit. >still dateless kv due to lack of trying >work as a programmer >few months ago, a 22y girl starts internship at company >she is cute, smart, nice, nerdy. Basically a gf material >Immediately 5 single guys start orbiting her trying to get in her pants >I am interested too, but keep my distance and take the slow approach >start hanging out with her on breakfast and lunch breaks, get close to her, start having lengthier conversations >as weeks go by, most other guys lose interest, so now it's between me and one more coworker >she is ultra close with both of us, but starts revolving around him more and more >they start coming to work together, going on breaks together, going home together, going out together, etc... >I realize I lost, and am getting friendzoned, so I start distancing myself from them, planning to move on from her >she still slides in my DMs and reacts on most of my IG stories, reacts with hearts on my FB shares, offers to share her breakfast with me if I am hungry, offers to borrow a book I am interested in reading, etc...
I am very inexperienced with women, and this is the first time I am getting friendzoned. Is this behavior normal for a man-woman friendship of few months? Is she trying to signal something to me, or am I overthinking stuff?
If she wasn't so close with the other guy, it would be pretty clear that she is hitting on me, but he makes the situation quite complicated. I am not even sure if they are together or not.
First of all never date people you work with, it always ends badly.
Second of all move on, she's definitely not interested and you are only a friend. Crush all romantic feelings for her.
Weirdly, the second advice might actually be your only hope if you do choose to foolishly continue pursuing her. As crazy as it sounds, women tend to be turned on when you start ignoring them.
Levi Gonzalez
Sounds like typical gamer girl who basically wants attention from as many guys as possible. If you’re interested in her then be explicit and force a yes or a no. Otherwise she will lead you on for as long as you let her.
Evan Brooks
Then next time she flirts with you a bit, do some mild flirting back where you can sneak in asking if she's single. Usually a women makes it pretty clear if they're taken and will mention their bf but... women can be a little autistic as well. It sounds like this other friend was a bit more open than you which is why she considers you as only a friend. That kind of distancing of yourself and be perceived as "coldness" to some.
Well... the next time she says something cute or something flirtatious or mildly sexual, in a casual way say something along the lines of >"Girl, if you were single I'd take you up on that offer >"Well now I have to ask you out for drinks sometime >Maybe we should do something about that
Or something along those lines.
John Smith
>First of all never date people you work with, it always ends badly. I've known like 10 people personally who got married with their coworkers and have kids and s pretty succesful relationship. My own parents included.
>Women are turned on when you ignore them ... Yeah no
Isaiah Kelly
I dont know the situation correctly, but there is little percent that she like you.
Cooper Hill
Every time I think I'm out, she pulls me back in. I am really ready to forget her and move on, but she keeps sending mixed signals and confusing me.
Her internship ends in like 10 days, so I guess it will all end soon. I am just confused why she keeps playing with me if she has already made her choice with the other guy.
When her internship over, maybe you can make suggest about date. After internship over, try it
Eli Lewis
She's stringing you both on because she wants options, i.e. if it doesn't work out with one of you then hopefully it will with the other. Up to you if you're fine with dating someone like this.
Kevin Scott
This, a girl is doing the same thing to me, She let it slip that she talks to lots of other guys, and I she likes their pics and whatever. She is stringing me along but has better choices out there, prob plan 5 or something.
Asher Brown
This. She's doing what you should also be doing: diversifying to avoid oneitis. She obviously kinda likes both of you. Meet more girls that are interested in you, then get something going on with her if you're still interested in her.
Jace Richardson
>women get turned on when you start ignoring them >Yeah no "Turned on" might be the wrong phrase. If a girl is used to getting attention from you, then you start ignoring her, she'll try to "win you back". This is an instinctual thing. Women evolved to crave attention, so if they start to lose it, theyll work hard to keep it.
Luke Davis
Dating usually ends in a break up. People may date 5 to 10 people prior to a marriage, so most workplace dating ends poorly.
As far as that girl, ignoring them is not exactly what you want to do but it's often perceived by nice guys as ignoring or being a dick. Girls do not find dependence sexually exciting and mostly do not find it attractive in general. Despite what they say, they want someone strong and with a "take it or leave it, whatever" mind set. Not just the attitude but to really and truly "win" a guy that is indifferent to her at first. You always want to be strong, physically emotionally and financially and spraysworking in some improvement. Same goes for independence. Good life and dating advice.
So op you continue to self improve, be strong (Google Aristotle's good life and live that way) and independent. Don't cut her off entirely if you could go for her in that future but you will now friend zone her, and if/when you want to, get with her. Continue to date other women selectively, and flirt with her, but also mention casually your other exploits. Just allude to how good your weekend was with *both* the girls you met. Etc
Austin Cruz
Wtf is spraysworking?
Ayden Lopez
maybe you didn't try hard enough, let her know how you really feel or else you'd never know, it's a possibility she likes you more but your distances giving her the idea you're friend zoning her in combination that the other dude was more straight forward or tried harder. so 2 options either do nothing and never know or be a man grow some balls and tell her how you feel about her. More risk, more reward, pussy.
Robert Ramirez
Why turn down free food?
Luis Richardson
THIS Ask her directly if she’s single and interested in expanding your relationship. If you get ANY response besides “Yes,” then move on. Chances are she will downplay her relationship with your other coworker as a means of keeping you interested, pining. It’s just like these anons said: she wants options. She wants attention from both of you without the definition of your relationship so it doesn’t risk alienating one or the other. It seems she’s made her choice, and even if she hasn’t, she can go fuck herself. You don’t deserve to be strung along. You deserve to find someone cool, unique, and affectionate toward you to reward your feelings with hers in kind, not leash you around like some toy dog while she gets banged out by your coworker and play with your heart on social media when she’s bored. You deserve love and happiness and you will find that, don’t be afraid.
Brody Anderson
EXTREMELY BASED
the one concern with this is ending up single forever, because women are in general VERY low quality nowadays
this user is right though, you cant be afraid to be single without fucking ever again. if you cant find any women good enough for you then thats just wahts going to happen
Dominic Fisher
You aren’t wrong, user, but I firmly believe OP can find a good woman for himself. I think we can both agree that any girl actively indulging in “courtship” from multiple guys is a skeez and not worth your time. OP, this chick sounds like a social media-binging, attention-whoring, heartbreaking succubus that has no right to make you feel less than.
OP you have everything going for you. Looks, physique, youth, an awesome job... women will be lucky to have you in their life romantically and I’m sorry she doesn’t see that, but you can’t get caught up here. Bigger fish to fry. Cute, kind, dorky girls are hard to come by, and I respect your taste, but if you want to find a special someone to become close with and love, you will achieve just that. Just remember this: affection is often for naught without reciprocity.
Cameron Davis
at some point though you have to realize women are so low quality nowadays that its unlikely any guy ever finds an actual worthwhile one
the VAST majority of men are 'married' just for the chance at pussy, if you can be stronger than that feeling then your unlikely to ever find a woman to ever want to marry, let alone simply a relationship
Nathaniel Martinez
Auto correct for "continue to stay"
Carson Morris
True words right here. Find yourself a wholesome country ish girl, like middle American, not woooooo cuuntry trucks and mud. I got one, ginger qt from rural Michigan. Not Detroit but close to Sault st Marie and the yoop. She's a pharmacist, has a doctorate, is wholesome, good family and father. But also is a whore in bed. That's what you want op. Not done feminist or modem woman.
