GIOYC / Get It Off Your Chest

My old self.

Feel like I've been stuck for the past 10 years. Had a major depression, got out of it but everything since then just hasn't been the same. Personal growth has come a long way, everything else seems to stay behind. Starting to feel like more of a loser over time and everything slips away. Lost the only girl I ever loved to another guy, my group of friends slowly drifts off. Feeling lost.

A fren that could’ve been more than a fren.
Stopped talking to her because autistically followed my dad’s advice, he basically said that I should either fuck her or block her if I couldn’t do it quickly. But I admired her as a fren first and foremost, just spending time with her.
Wonder if she’s doing alright. Sometimes see her.

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I really want a nice BBQ burger right now, but all acceptable burger places are already closed. This is what being horny must feel like for guys, this nagging, insatiable need.

i miss /b/ from 10 years ago. i fucking hate all of you weak-willed lazy ignorant faggots for taking it away

youtu.be/_H3Sv2zad6s
Well there's the yellow posters now

i don't understand this what is this user saying

fuck it doesn't matter i can feel the condescension. fuck you faggot

Have you even gone to /b/ in the past month?

no i can't stand going there ever since the porn ads

They have the same porn ads on pretty much every red board now

ya i hang out on /sci/. seems to have the highest volume of violently miserable spergs spewin their brilliance out of every orifice they can

Still stressed about my programmer job. Even my heartburn returned, I feel like in school again. But it gets better every day.

My old friend is reaching out to me, but he fucked my crush despite knowing I have still been considering her as potential partner (I fucked her too, first, obviously).

My head is burning, I need some rest.

You have no idea.
Why are my ads on Jow Forums things I've been recently looking into? I thought this site wasn't connected like that. Disappoint.

you're too harsh on us faggots :3

They are following your every step user.

Why does it feel like the only way to be truly free is to turn off all devices and disconnect from the internet? What has the world become that we are all living it through this filter.

I miss someone I attempted to have an affair with that did me, first. We both failed for different reasons. Disbelief the other was interested, fear, timing, distance, other interests, compatibility. Too much thinking between contact.

I know it wasn't healthy and I rarely think of him anymore. Just have to keep going.

My free time.

I am also really fucking anxious about my programmer job that I started a month ago. I've been programming for 4 years, the work is fine but I'm really struggling to feel myself at this new job. I don't know why - everyone's really nice but I am a total mess and can barely manage talking. I'm now running the risk of coming across as ice cold or autistic by responding with silence when I can't get brain to do words.

At this rate I'm not gonna get a chance to have a gf

You seemingly don't understand my situation if you blame me for not having will.

How i'm not on autismbux is beyond me. Some old lady cut the line in the grocery shop today and i raged at her.

Haha fucking same, except I'm a junior.
They are nice as well, but I'm afraid they are talking shit behind my back how shit I am and plan to fire me.
No signs of it though, lol.

Let's hope this environment change stress will go away. Second month for me and it's a little better, though still I have the impostor syndrome.

how can I not feel paranoid around others? I know very well how humans behave in a group. I know they hate virgins, failures, social inept people like me. I know they despise them, they are disgusted by them, they see them as useless and misfits, like dogs to kick or clowns to laugh at

I am not interested in learning trades or doing manual things. they are 100 times more digestible than doing office work but I am not passionate about em. I just want to learn them because they're not entirely boring and they make me feel useful.

I like art. acting, fooling around. music, maybe. not so much. singing serms better than learning an instrument, and dancing is rad

I'm no longer interested in fitness. martial arts are entertaining but I am too old to compete. they are a means to channel my frustration and my anger. fitness and combat sports give me a feeling of confidence and security. it doesn't matter that I lack character, that I feel vulnerable or useless, I rely on the excuse that I least I can fight. they don't make me strong, actually strong. I don't care about gaining strength or being a better fighter anymore. they don't work the way I want them to and change nothing. total waste of time

I resent everything and everyone. I hate that they know how to socialize better than me. I hate their confidence. I hate that they can belong so easily. I hate that they have more guts than me. I hate being a coward, a weakling, a fag. I hate being hated. I hate feeling threatened

hate and fear make me feel lonely, very lonely. I don't have to talk to others: they are wolves in sheepskin that at the first opportunity they have they are going to use my weaknesses against me and belittle me
It's not that I don't think they understand me, I'm not that hard to understand. I just don't think they're going to empathize at all

I wonder how I look from others' perspective

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Sorry I don’t think we should hang out after all. It never works out between us, what makes us think it will now

The only privacy I ever get is when I'm taking a shit.

I live with my girlfriend in a single room flat. She has no friends and no hobbies, and works from home. I spend my whole life either at work (no privacy), in public (no privacy) or at home (still no privacy). I'm only able to type this now because she's gone to the toilet, otherwise I'd be getting questions about what I'm writing so much on my phone. It's not that she's controlling as such, she has no problem with me going out with friends or playing video games, but while I'm home I always feel like I'm watched even if it isn't malcious. It's simply she has nothing else to do. I rarely ever play video games or watch TV by myself because it feels awkard with someone else in the room just kind of... waiting for you to finish, or she's doing something more productive like cleaning or paying bills which makes me feel too guilty to relax. I miss being able to masturbate for instance. She's actually fine with me doing it in the same room, but I only do that when her period is heavy because it can understandably feel degrading for your partner to be jerking off instead of having sex with you. Sex is fine but a man needs to jerk off sometimes too, they're not intereplacable. I started to masturbate in the toilets at work at lunch break, or going to the bathroom when she's asleep, just to have some me-time. Sometimes I decide to walk home from work which takes well over an hour, just so I can be "alone" (well, as much as you can be in public). We're currently looking for a new flat and I'm praying we can at least get something with more than one room. I'm praying she'll actually start going out and meeting people like I've been asking. She has so many good qualities and I usually feel okay but I sometimes it's like I'm suffocating in my own life.

Why not have sex with her instead?
Totally get what you mean by you time

I'd say my fat ex, but I don't really miss her. I just miss feeling human warmth again and I'm sad things didn't work out with that hot dancer I had one date with.

Work is agonizing. I count down the minutes between every shift because I hate being there and time flies so fast outside of work. Every minute I'm outside of work it's just me filled with anxiety waiting for the next shift.

I'm trying to get a better job but I'm getting the feeling that even if I get another job, the same thing will happen until I'm numb and it doesn't matter anymore. Please help.

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>They are nice as well, but I'm afraid they are talking shit behind my back how shit I am and plan to fire me.

Definitely in your head, but I know the feeling.

What I find helps me is try to look at it from their perspective. Think of yourself as a long-term investment. You're not likely to be a trailblazer but you're also not likely to go anywhere else anytime soon. They also carry a lot of the responsibility for making sure you fit in, otherwise someone will have to answer for what looks like a bad hiring decision.

For me this is the first time where I genuinely believe in the business and in the thing we're making. I'm actually quite used to the sense of camaraderie you get from working overtime on horrifically managed projects and trying your best to do slightly better than the most hacked together solution you could do in the time. I made some really good friends with people I used to plot with about quitting. Now I'm surrounded by really smart people who actually want to write good software and it makes me think I spent my whole career just coasting along being average when the bar was low. So yeah, the possibility that I've stepped into something I'm unworthy of is definitely on my mind.

do you have a space to take another room? maybe move your pc to the kitchen?

>I know very well how humans behave in a group. I know they hate virgins, failures, social inept people like me. I know they despise them, they are disgusted by them, they see them as useless and misfits, like dogs to kick or clowns to laugh at

I expect you probably won't believe me here, but you're wrong. I say this as a "normie". There's a guy at work who's a bit weird, wears the same terrible clothes for a week without washing them, makes weird jokes in email correspondence, awkward in conversations, 100% sure he's a virgin. Nobody hates him because despite all this he's not an asshole, he's a nice guy, and that actually matters. People hate bullying managers, arrogant dicks, selfish people. They will feel awkard around awkward people but that isn't the same as hating. Humans are generally kind, it's built into us, but humans also have a tendency to stand by as other people act horrible. Don't let the actions of the people who've wronged you taint your view of people in general. Nice people exist and they're very common.

Having a cold during the Summer sucks. It's too hot out to be this congested. I just want to bundle up and fuck off until I feel better.

I don’t know where to ask this question, but I texted someone on snapchat and it said “this person will see your message when they add you back” I checked the message today and it’s gone so I think they read it, but now it just says “tap to chat” it doesn’t tell me if they read my message or what. did they add me, read my message, then unadd me? Their bitmoji changed so I know they were on.

>very common

Not that guy, but I would at least drop it down to common.

We often have sex, and although there isn't any variety to it and I doubt that will change (missionary), the frequency is good and has stayed good. The thing I find with sex though, which I think all guys will understand, is that it's a performance. Even with the most altruistic girl who wants nothing but your pleasure, it's impossible to completely focus on yourself 100% without thinking about how she's feeling. Even a little bit. But when you're jerking off it's all about your pleasure and nothing else, there's no intimacy or emotional satisfaction but to be honest the orgasms I get from jerking off are way stronger than from sex. I can also jerk it to stuff she's not interested in trying (so anything that isn't missionary), and being bi I like gay porn too which through no deficiency of her own is an itch she can't scratch. I like sex with her, but I also need to masturbate.

Only two rooms are toilet and "main room" which has kitchen and bed. Whole place is 30m2

It’s really unfortunate planning, I’m sorry, user. Good thing you’re going to move.

This is basically my worst nightmare. Fucking hell. I can't think of a quicker way to end up hating someone than having to be in the same room as them every minute at home.

I mean, it seems like you're already doing the best thing you can do which is look for a new flat.
Asking her to go out and meet people for your own sanity seems like something that could sprout some really nasty roots though. Surely privacy is something that benefits both of you, even if she might feel guilty admitting it.

Good night, anony!

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>get hit on by girls
>wow this sucks
I don't get it. What's the big deal? Why am I supposed to be grateful for this? What is there to like?

i have officially stopped caring about everything. everyone i love pisses me off and this life feels so small and boring especially considering the emotional heights i have experienced already. so i'm just going to buy a fuckton of wine and get wasted

I really hate it when women are instantly drawn toward me. Like, seriously, I have a beautiful wife already, but all these grad school women flock toward me just because I’m in good shape and shower every day. There are like 20 other dudes on the class who would be perfect for you if you gave them the chance. Do they not understand how fucking bad it looks to my wife when like 30 girls are texting me asking to study? It’s like these girls have a hive mind for hoeing.
It almost makes me want to stop showing up for class.

Based chads

Why are you giving them your number?

I miss my dog

My girlfriend of 11 months broke up with me over text a few weeks ago.
She said she would never do anything like that if we decided to part ways, yet she did it. She spent more time at work and school than in our relationship.

I found out she's dating someone new right now.
Why would you leave me to focus on yourself if you're hopping on some other guys dick right now?
I feel like I wasted 10 months of my life with someone who was ungrateful to have what I offered which was unconditional love and true loyalty.

I guess someone who "understands" her struggles as a student is better off than an actual relationship.

By the way, when you said we had good memories, I replace them with how much of a horrible person you are. You became different.

Enjoy your young "college experience" you stupid bitch.

yeah i feel the same way

Did he die? When did that happen? People don't realize how much a pet matters. Losing my dog was easily one of the hardest things in the last years.

She passed away years ago and I haven’t felt whole since. I can’t think about it too much it hurts

I'm really good at getting under people's skin. It's not even out of me being evil, but it's just amusing to me seeing their reactions.

I gave one dude my number last semester to meet up for an outline. He gave it to some girl he was orbiting just because. Then someone posted it on instagram, and pretty much the entire class got it.
“Haha, I know this is kinda weird but I’m blah blah blah from class and was thinking we could get together at my place and study this weekend ;^)”
Yes, it is weird, and despite you understanding that to some extent, you still attempted a booty call despite being at least somewhat aware of my marital status.
Do they realize me even receiving to their text looks bad? Then they bitch at me before class about ignoring their texts like the reason I ignored them isn’t obvious.

Good night, user. I missed you all day.

My former self, who was prosperous and successful.

Truly an embarrassment of riches. sorta jelly for you dude.
Good on you for being committed to your wife

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Same here. I can't even imagine having that many options while at the same time, those girls are ghosting us and other average/ugly dudes..

Love and attraction isn’t a zero-sum thing, and there are plenty of lonely girls too!
We’ll find gril, user. do not despair!

>do not despair!
Too late, user.
I already considered suicide today because I saw a hot girl with an amazing ass in leggings at the store today. We stood in the same isle also and I thought about asking her about some chips, but I ended up saying nothing as always until she walked away.

Someday, I will punch you dad. Someday, I will not be scared of you anymore. Someday, you’ll be scared of me, you’ll realize how strong I am, how I’m stronger than you, and I’ll be liberated from this fear anytime I’m around you.

Have sex hug your dad me might be retarded but it's still your dad

I miss some online friends I used to talk to. I have this stupid tendency to burn bridges and ghost once I realize I won't able to build anything past being an acquaintance/friend. Being thirsty really does fuck with my head. But 10 YEARS can you blame me though?

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Don't have sex with your dad

It’s okay to despair, I do it too every day.
Let today be a learning tool so that the next time you feel the onset of despair you know what’s coming, and to not let the despair take control. It’s literally like bullets; small caliber bullets build up your immunity to larger caliber bullets.
Next time make small talk about chips (...then spill spaghetti when asking what her name is). Then the next time, make small talk about chips and her name (...then spill spaghetti when asking for her number). In small steps like this, with failure being a prerequisite for building eventual success
I saw this cute as fuck girl in the halls, she was frail too and seemed a bit anxious and I want to hug all the stress out of her and kiss her, telling her that everything is okay while she rests in my arms ~uguu

I want to see you...

Initial?

youtube.com/watch?v=KuRxXRuAz-I

I'm still me I hope you realize that

That's cool, but you left me as you. So...

My boyfriend raped me a month or so ago and ive been mostly ok but for some reason its hitting pretty hard as I lay alone in the bed it happened in while he's at college messaging me about how he's going into an emotional downward spiral because his homework took so long he didnt have time to play video games. I feel my ears ringing like when he hit me and I can barely breathe. I forgave him after he apologized over and over and genuinely felt bad about it but I wish it never happened. I guess thats a normal feeling but I hope this reaction of mine wont intensify further. I love him and want to stay with him forever but it was so shocking that hed do that and occasionally thinks about doing it again (Idk why hed tell me this). Another L courtesy of God

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I want to see you...

If you really did you would message me and make it happen.
At this point I miss you, too, and think about you every day, but at the same time, I've always respected your decisions and done as you've asked and yet I get the short end of the stick for some reason.

It's up to you. I'm fine with whatever happens. Just know that I am still upset. And your actions have internally changed me. I may not be the same person, but deep down I am the same person. I'm upset at you.

I’ve had sex with a prostitute, it sucked and it doesn’t change anything. Also I can’t hug him, I’ve never been close with him and it’s always awkward when he’s around cus I’m always afraid of making mistakes in front of him.

>inb4 tinder etc
I have a small penis so hookers are my only option. Girlfriend is not an option either cus I don’t trust women and I don’t need emotional connection with anyone. I live alone just fine and I don’t need someone else near me judging my every movement like playing video games and binge youtubing. Also I hate kids.

Still the greatest???
.
.I know

Is there even a word that properly encompasses this level of idiocy and denial??

I'm losing interest in my girlfriend that I've known for 20 years. I reconnected with her last year. The fire that we had for the last 8 months is now starting to just fade. I don't think she adores me anymore like she used to. It kind of sucks because I put everything into this. I feel like I'm putting up defenses and building walls around my heart. I am becoming desensitized. She used to call and text me all the time and now it's been cut to less than half of that

Get one of those penis pumps I heard they help

Just because my feelings are real, doesn’t mean my feelings are true.

Real feeling: I want more.
Truth: More would be a bad idea.

Ta daaaa, it’s that simple, kids!

I miss my big sister. She was only 9 years old when we lost her to leukemia. That was so, so long ago but some days it all just comes back to me and I start to wonder. What she would have done with her life? Would we still be as close as we were when we were kids? Would my parents be happier with their lives?
I guess grief never really goes away. It's just dormant for periods of time.

Yeah thats what id say if I was on the outside looking in too.

Youd think 4 years was enough of a waiting period to get to know someone before moving in together across the country

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I'm close to getting financial stability at the age 30 after years of being a neet shut in.
Yet, I feel completely empty because I have no interesting life experiences, friends, or a person to love.
I just have regret that I wasted my 20s and no idea what I can do about it.

Pretend you're 20 and do it

GIOYC I want to thank all of you for supporting me through my fight against alcoholism this year. It took a lot out of me we made a lot of new mysoganictic friends and I think that I've finally gotten over it!
I haven't touched a bottle in over a month.
I guess this is goodby gioyc hopefully no won't fall into this addiction again in the future.
Sayonara

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Not permanently. Also it doesn’t help that I KNOW I was born with inferior and unmasculine genes. I can have cosmetic manipulation but the genes won’t lie.

The best thing for him right now is to be away from his abusive and controlling father, but he doesn't have any family or friends near him. No employers want to give him a chance, job corps can't help him since he's over 30, he's legally forbidden from driving because of an eye problem he can't afford to get re-examined, he has no cellphone, and according to him he has no future. I managed to make him a little less suicidal, but I don't know how long that will last and what else I can do to help the love of my life when he lives halfway across the nation. I'm trying to get a job that's right for me so I can work to get him down here, but it's not easy when my family only has one car (no late night shifts), my back is bad (no job with lots of standing or walking), and I'm a socially inept retard with only a high school diploma.

I asked a subreddit for children of parents like his like the idiot I am and the only response I got was "He should take a greyhound that he can't afford across two states and be homeless in NY because they have better resources". Not even our fucking friends can help, with the typical "oh I wish I could help :( thoughts and prayers" even when one lives in the same state as him.

I don't know who or where to reach out to. I feel like life has me by the throat, and everything feels very hopeless. I don't want to lose him.

No, I'm just busy. You're not him.

Same here.
Still I have a upbeat optimism that can only be described as borderline retarded.

I miss sour candy please let me have some soon ;-;

I knew it. I knew she would message me. I’m trying to ignore her and distance myself, but she keeps contacting me. I’m not the rude type to just ignore people who want to talk, but I really need to stop talking to her.

based, hope you're happier as a result user.

I miss how things were before. They werent perfect or the happiest, but we were all together abit more. Now, my family is just in shambles. All i do is beg distant family for some help or advice, or people from church to help. I dont have anyone to have just a normal conversation with, not anymore. Despite doing as much as i possibly could, i was just cut off for not being good enough. Now im just left with a family that is ready to hit a fatal tragedy, it feels like im the only one left trying to keep things together. But its getting too hard to hide my depression and fear like the rest of them, so im just left crying where no one can see me. I tried so much, i tried doing the best that i possibly. But its never good enough for anyone. I just want to say that i do love all you, and i just wanted all of us to stay together, but im sorry if i dont do good, im sorry if i give up.

I don't want sex. I don't want a gf. I don't want to have to deal with girls hitting on me. I want the love and affection I needed back when I was knee high. I wish my neighbor hadn't taken advantage of that need the way she did. I almost wish she killed me those times she beat and choked me. I wish I could go ahead and cry, but for some reason I can't right now.