Is it possible to stop being an incel? I don't hate women but I'm a complete mess otherwise

Think of it this way: everyone who has ever wanted to have sex with someone they couldn't is an incel relative to that person.

Does that help?

I mean, it's not a new complaint: I want to have sex with [x] but they don't want to have sex with me.

Sure, it's increasingly discouraging as you run out of [x] who decidedly don't.

It's even demoralizing and it makes you feel ugly.

But, like, there are sex workers out there for you.

They care, at least about your having sex with them for money, and many more so, because you probably aren't that bad of a person.

I dunno. Maybe you're terrible. I'm just an optimist.

But if you play your cards right and save up enough cash, then maybe you can have sex with them.

I mean, if it's just sex that you can't get, then there's a team of professionals who can help.

And that's including all orientations and genders and stuff.

I mean, let's not be naive.

In the meanwhile, what can you really do but just jerk off to them?

Nothing, really. And "jerk off" can refer to both men and women, by the way.

You might never get the opportunity to have sex with whatever person you desire at any given moment.

You might also never win the lottery or go skydiving; life's full of disappointments.

I never really understood what people meant by being "involuntarily celibate..." I mean, who the fuck isn't depending on who you're talking about?

So you get what you can get when you're sure that what you're doing is consensual, and you live your life.

I suspect that most of the problem is that men have no outlet for the seeking of nurturing, so they wrap it up into sexual attraction and you get that whole Madonna/Whore complex thing that Freud talked about (which is pleb-tier, but still pretty resonant when you think about it).

I mean, when are men "allowed" to be vulnerable outside of having sex with someone?

Pretty much never, in terms of the toxic masculinity culture that drives permissible behavior among men.

Even the anti-toxic masculinity culture is fucking toxic: "I WILL DESTROY YOUR TOXIC MASCULINITY, YOU MISOGYNIST PRICK."

So what do you do if you want to escape such aggressive checks on your aggression?

You cry for mommy/girlfriend/wife/whore.

Whoever will let you be gentle with them (yet firm, of course).

Or maybe you seek comfort in another man.

Whatever it is, the entire issue with so-called "incels" is that they are confounding the principle of nurturing care from another human being and their sexual libido.

I mean, sure, when they sync up, it can be awesome, but like... that doesn't seem to happen that often, from my experience.

>Pretty much never

Unless they're watching Die Hard. Men are totally allowed a moment of weakness when watching Die Hard.

Of course, it's possible that one might get the idea that it's somehow getting better, and that the expression of male need for nurturing is something that has been somehow addressed by the recent discussions about toxic masculinity.

Now, this is one of those things where like I don't pretend to have any fucking say whatsoever about abortion, because I know it has nothing to do with me, because I'm never getting pregnant without the intervention of biotechnology and whatever the fuck I'd have to be thinking to volunteer for that horrible-sounding ordeal.

So I shut the fuck up and let women decide whether they should terminate whatever growth happens to be in their body, because it's not mine.

And it's in this spirit that I offer the opinion that it has not, in fact, been improving in the slightest. People still punch each other in the nose for being called gay up to, well, I mean, pretty much it's just a thing that still happens.

And if you're not a man, then you don't know how that feels.

I mean, is this controversial?

Am I on some sort of MRA newsletter now?

I mean, fuck those guys, by the way.

This whole thing is really going badly, right?

But only when they get overly excited at the "Yippy-Kai-Yay, Mother Fucker" line and they tear up a little in glee.

Anything else and you're gay.

So, to wrap up: yes. It's possible to stop being an incel.

Get a hooker.

If you're broke, well, I mean it gives you something to use that swear-jar on, right?

>I don't hate women

Then you're not an incel, just a virgin.

Incels are a specific movement of violent, disgruntled creepers who will go to any lengths to take out their rage on innocent society. Somewhere between a cult and a terror movement.

If you're just upset that you're a virgin without blaming society for your problems, congratulations. You're not an incel, but you are a virgin. There's no shame in being a virgin.

>I don't hate women

I mean, you probably do.

Like, just a little.

I don't mean you want to hurt women, but you probably resent the fact that they have so much control over you.

Even if you're only *mostly* straight, after all, then you have this uncanny predilection to favor about half of the population more than the other half, and like, there's pretty much nothing you can do about it, and it kind of drives you crazy once in a while when you think about it, right?

You have to assume that it's the same thing for straight women, though, and it's probably just jealousy over the men who they find more attractive than you that drives your hate, but like, it's still probably there.

Women hate other women who they think are more attractive than them, too.

And they hate the men who find those women attractive.

So everybody's a petty bitch. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯