Hurting my gf

My gf was sexually abuse and raped for years when she was a small child. For some reason I get off on hurting her and making her cry about it. It's like I am subconsciously mad at her for having had sex when she was young and I secretly think she's a slut for it.

Her abuser used to put his hand over her eyes and hold her down by pressing her head against the floor while he forced his fingers into her when she was about 5-7. I do this to her while she sobs and cries now and begs me to stop. Not sure why she does not break up with me. I degrade her and make subtle comments about how she is used and I tell her that her pussy is loose and I can barely feel it when we fuck because she is so blown out from being fucked so young.

A lot of other stuff, I love seeing her curl up and cry till she shakes and snot comes out of her nose.

I feel like I should either take it to the next level and really hurt her till she leaves me or back off a little. Why do i think it's so hot to hurt her?

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H
O
T

Wtf

Mindbreak is truly a patrician fetish. But the poor girl deserves some happiness. It's all well to fap to it but child abuse is really a horrible thing OP. Do you at least treat her nicely outside of sex?

bait

If it's not bait, then you should hang yourself OP. Degenerates like you deserve the bullet.

I treat her nicely sometimes, she does love me very much. I Think she is needy for validation and love and is afraid to lose the first person she has been in love with.

But I subtly degrade her all the time and make it known that I think she is used and trash and beneath me and that I am doing her a favor by being with her and not getting a girl who is not used like she is

not bait at all, you would be surprised how many guys treat girls in a similar way, you would also be surprised how natural it feels for me to treat her this way, I feel fine when I am doing it and only later when I reflect on her crying all the time realize it's not normal

I want to save that poor girl from you,tell me where you live

>Not sure why she does not break up with me.
this is similar to daddy issues. she's attracted to same harm she received in her childhood because this is her subconscious feeling of love and closeness to anyone resembling a "parent".
I'd even tell that if you stopped doing this, she'd lose interest in you, and that's why she's with you in first place.
>Why do i think it's so hot to hurt her?
have you had abusive parents? how was your family?

yeah that is a good point, it's like she thinks being used and hurt is what love and affection is, maybe she had some kind of fucked up affection for the family member that was raping her since he did provide for her (food and shelter)

my parents were not abusive at all but I grew up in a conservative house and wanted to marry a virgin so I harbor resentments that she has had sex before me and think less of her for it, like she's not wife material because she was raped as a child so much

Nice larp loser
Id say get laid but youre probably like 15 so go buy some beyblades like a normal kid

>my parents were not abusive at all but I grew up in a conservative house and wanted to marry a virgin
really? was it all fine? were your parents nice, no anger issues, not overly critical, no alcoholics? in this case you should probably realize that what you do is pretty fucked up.
but anyway, she clearly has issues and needs therapy. take it as you will. she might become addicted or suicidal, and certainly yield a lot of problems along the way. keep this in mind if you plan to stay with her long term.

My parents were foxnews boomer types. they are superficially "nice" but are judgemental of people who are not living what they consider to be a good christian life

That's where I must get looking down on my gf and thinking she's a used slut

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>My parents were foxnews boomer types. they are superficially "nice" but are judgemental of people who are not living what they consider to be a good christian life
ok. if you think you were happy in your childhood, your parents treated you well and nothing dark happened, then I guess you just didn't know any better. although this somewhat sadistic vibe is common to children of harsh parents

Does she get wet when you do it to her? I think it's one of my kinks too but not sure if I actually want to live it out. I dont think I could deal with my gf crying like you described.

I don't know why you are posting this. I assume that you have a conscience, that tells you what you are doing is wrong. And it's battling with your own sadistic impulses.
I encourage you to love that woman sincerely and help her overcome her trauma instead of amplifying it(this needs dedication and self-control).
The things you've said and done are terrible. I'd be bloddy scared of myself. Know that you are becoming a monster and those things will come back and haunt you if you are not careful.

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You are a very, very sick person

She's going to kill herself and it will be your fault

Is her pussy actually loose?

>Is her pussy actually loose?
no not at all, when we first had sex it really hurt her and still often does, I have read about it and actually some girls who get raped really young get trauma to their vagina and it stays tight and painful when it heals i think that's what happened to her

I really makes her feel like shit when I say that to her and she does not know any better though. Also she got herpes from it and I talk about how I am going to beat her if i wind up getting it and i tell her she is diseased and can't be cured

Dude you're a fucking piece of shit.

to be fair she does have herpes

Well ok that's good to know. Just be careful, by the way you're describing things, she's not fit to be a mother anymore, if not after the child abuse then after she met you. Enjoy what you've created but don't do the same to the girl you want to put kids in. Your kids deserve nothing she went through.

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>she's not fit to be a mother anymore
what, why?

This. Also if you ever accidentally any children, they will want you dead.

you’re a manipulative prick, plain and simple. there is no way to justify it. get help and leave that poor girl alone.

If you resent her for “not being a virgin” (she was fucking raped as a child) why are you with her? It seems to me you just want someone to kick around because you’re a powerhungry sadist. Seriously, dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?

Fuck you.

this unironically

I got a boner reading this.

That's cruel AF. You have to deal with that, dude. Holy shit.

I don't think it's because you're her first love. I think it's because you're making her feel like no one else will want her because of shit that happened to her that wasn't under her control.
You're an awful human.

>love

this
"people" like OP should be killed

but why doe

Same. Very confusing. I always knew I'm a bit sadistic but not to this degree

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That's awful.

Because you're an edgy moron. Nothing difficult about figuring that out.

Because you are a literal degenerate. Do yourself a favor. Leave her, and accept that you will never be a functional member of society.

We can only hope OP never becomes a father.

Gonna be real. I think you should leave. You need it badly for being fucked up. Keep your fantasies away from her. If she asks you to stop you stop. Did you not learn this from your parents OP?

bruh...

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>If she asks you to stop you stop.
that only works sometimes

You're being abusive and repeating the cycle of abuse. You need to stop and get help, or leave her, for her own good.

Lol think about it. Crippling depression, self esteem issues, ptsd etc. OP is only making it worse. Now I'm not saying there aren't terrific mothers out there who are wonderful parents despite significant issues. But she needs a lot of professional help, and ultimately, a good husband to be the best mother and wife she could be. As it is, for the sake of any future children, OP should not have kids with her and really should stop doing what he's doing to any future girls he wants to have kids with.

But I mean yeah, mindbreak, ryona, fucking nice. Just don't add kids to the equation.

do you think she is capable of building a human being's worldview if OP isn't lying?

>Her abuser used to put his hand over her eyes and hold her down by pressing her head against the floor while he forced his fingers into her when she was about 5-7.

>I do this to her while she sobs and cries now and begs me to stop. Not sure why she does not break up with me. I degrade her and make subtle comments about how she is used and I tell her that her pussy is loose and I can barely feel it when we fuck because she is so blown out from being fucked so young.

>A lot of other stuff, I love seeing her curl up and cry till she shakes and snot comes out of her nose.

>I feel like I should take it to the next level

>the next level

15?
He's not a day older than 10

Fuuuck, I couldn't even finish reading this without almost throwing up.

Go to a psychiatrist. If you can't control impulses that make you hurt another human being, you're legit crazy and need help.

At least try to apologize to your gf and be honest about it.

This. I really really hope you kill yourself and leave that poor girl alone OP and believe me that's not a thing I say often.

>Literally tortures already broken gf.
>Yeah bro just apologize.

They shouldn't even be on the same room.

How do I get a gf like this? If she would stay with a total fucking bastard like OP imagine how much she would love me if I treated her kindly

>How do I get a gf like this? If she would stay with a total fucking bastard like OP imagine how much she would love me if I treated her kindly
you would think that but raped girls like this come to associate this kind of treatment with love and will leave "nice guys"

Unironic question if you're still here OP (or anyone who shares OPs abuse fetish); if your girl was actually into it or if you discussed this and she consensually allowed herself to be hurt by you temporarily like in a BDSM thing with actual aftercare, would you still get off on it as you do now? Or does it literally have to be real trauma?

Hit up BPD girls in the psych ward

>I really makes her feel like shit when I say that to her and she does not know any better though. Also she got herpes from it and I talk about how I am going to beat her if i wind up getting it and i tell her she is diseased and can't be cured

reminder these are the men you are posting with on Jow Forums

>men

>posting

>Jow Forums

>I degrade her and make subtle comments about how she is used and I tell her that her pussy is loose and I can barely feel it when we fuck because she is so blown out from being fucked so young.
bro