>be me with girlfriend of almost 2 years >relationship is very turbulent, ups and downs >going through rough time in life, family member died and I had to make arrangements and sort everything out >really stressed, try to come to girlfriend for support >she ignores my feelings and makes it about my own, she usually does this >ignore her and focus on family issues, trying to fix everything >one day she tells me she doesn't feel loved enough, asks for open relationship or polyamory >flat out say no, tell her I'm going through a rough time and we'll work on us once things clears up >she doesn't care, breaks up with me >cuss her out over the phone and bring up really sensitive shit from her past to hurt her back >she blocks me
I think I made the right call because I wouldn't be caught fucking dead in an open relationship, but why the fuck do women do this? I'm at a super low point in my life and all I wanted was support. I gave her support during tough times. Suddenly she wants to get dicked down by someone else while I pick up the pieces. How is that a way to work on "us"??? I felt alone before but now I just feel even worse. Ladies or gents, how or why did this happen?
I've read so many stories of women doing this to the men they supposedly "love". I can't help but generalize. The man is going through stress or showing a moment of weakness, and the woman takes advantage of them. I'm starting to think she's been cheating, maybe for a while, but I have no way of knowing. How can I trust again? Should I just show no weakness and never come to women for support? That's kinda what I'm leaning towards.
>How can I trust again?
with time and courage.
trust is a choice you do knowing full well you might get hurt.
I have 2 questions, how old are you and why did you tolerate a relationship which was turbulent and unstable, did you believe it was normal?
It's odd, I know exactly what you mean about trust, you're right, but the concept sounds completely foreign to me now. At this moment, I would never take that deal. Now I'm just assuming it's the choice I make knowing I will get hurt eventually.
>how old are you 25 years old, 26 in a couple months
>why did you tolerate Because I loved her. Love her, I guess. It was the most passionate I've ever felt about anyone. She gave me my highest of highs, but also the lowest of lows. It also doesn't help that my "love language" is physical and the sex was so raw and pure and animalistic and emotional. That might have played a part, but I also wanted to take care of her and maybe one day have a family together, if we could just sort through all the nonsense.
>did you believe it was normal? No, I knew the frequency to which we would fight was not normal. I knew what we had was different, because when there was passion, it was intense, but also maybe every few weeks we'd have a major blowout.
>At this moment, I would never take that deal.
it is too soon, you'll be ready to trust again when the time is right, for now focus on yourself.
From what you've written I feel like you might think that you didn't work hard enough and that you could have fixed things and if you were more competent.
Don't be so hard on yourself, it takes two to tango, and from what she has done it is clear that she didn't want to dance with you, not that you're that bad of a dancer that you made her leave.
how does one not fear being hurt
I suppose you're right. It just sucks that after everything, all the help I gave her and support and love, she could just so easily do this. I won't get into detail, but there was a time where I was supporting her, not financially but emotionally, for months. Medical related. I never left her side and just wanted her to be happy. None of it was enough. It makes me not want to do that for anyone else again, just be selfish, but I know that's not fair. You're right. I need to work on myself and get everything sorted. It would be an even more bittersweet ending if someday I happen upon someone who is truly right for me and I'm too distrustful and resentful to accept them and love them.
Thank you fren
I think maybe, just maybe, we need to learn to not be afraid.
Not bittersweet. Bitter. I'm having a manic episode right now lmfao
try not shacking up with a sentient roast beef sandwich this time and find an actual human being
>Thank you fren
I understand, I had a similar experience which culminated in both my parents dying in a 1 year span, leaving me financial burdens and I fell in a deep depression, meanwhile I was finishing my masters and I asked my 4 years gf to give me an hand in studying because I had difficulties focusing, she refused. She also refused coming with me to camping, knowing fully well what it was the only small thing which still gave me some relief from the grief.
I broke up, now I am totally better and so will you
>how does one not fear being hurt
You never stop the fear, you became more corageous and experienced
I would bet on your gf being BPD. I just had the same exact situation as you, my favorite uncle died and she shit on me. High highs and low lows. Be thankful she let you leave I still have a cosigned lease with my ex
Girls don't care they just want Chad and your betabucks That's why they try to keep as many orbiters around for as long as possible in case the get bored
I didn't think she was, unless you're suggesting I go gay. Honestly considering it.
I'm glad to hear things have gotten better for you. Seems tough times makes us stronger.
I think she was, undiagnosed. She also had self-esteem issues and depression. We had plans to move in together, thank God it didn't happen. Good luck to you dude.
That's probably true. She didn't have orbiters as far as I knew, but she's cute. If she wanted dick tonight, she could get it. Kinda pains me to know she probably got fucked by someone else the night this all happened, but no use in worrying about something out of my control.
suicide is better than gay bruh
>suck dick >suck a shotgun >suck it up
I guess I'll pick 3
I'll let u suck mine nohomo where u at?
Look out your window boy
But I'm at skool
>Seems tough times makes us stronger.
yes, given enough time to recover and process things.
things are going better, got my psychology degree after all, I still come on this site from time to time, after all this place has lots of untapped potential for human interaction.
take your time man and don't force yourself, you'll be fine, even if you don't believe at the moment.
and just a hint, steer clear from diagnosing other people with mental illnesses, it creates false presuppositions in your mental processes.