ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

Some of us just still believe in honest male-female friendship, that's what you don't understand.

If only it were that straightforward. Even if he's not a chad, it depends on the guy's qualities and personality. He could have hobbies that are more interesting than yours, she could be attracted to that.

People who have trouble finding a partner tend to get emotionally attached and develop pretty obsessive crushes just because I'm an attractive girl who pays them attention.
The "steal your gf" problem is solved by the fact that I don't hang out with guys who hit on me. I don't have any flirty friends.

I appreciate my boyfriend no matter who I hang out with, I'm not settling for him and I've never met a guy who is better.

So, I have a close female friend who has a key to my apartment. When I'm home alone I pretty much never wear clothes. But regardless of how many times it happens, she always barges in without warning and gets an eyeful. Should I interpret this as interest from her?

Not necessarily. Could just be a friendly gesture, or her way of showing appreciation towards male genitalia. Unless she comes in and holds your dick with the help of her mouth, it's probably nothing.

I don't think appreciating each other's genitalia is a thing friends of opposing genders normally do.

Question for girls
Do you think it's okay for a guy to have non romantic love for a girl?
I'm really close to someone who I've known for half a decade, and dispite her living half way across the country I worry about her as if she were my sister

It sounds like it, but maybe she's just an idiot.

I was being sarcastic.

That didn't look even a little sarcastic.

Yes, but basically no.
Love isn't a finite research: you can love whoever you want, and it doesn't stop.
Intimacy, tho, is. If you're very intimate with this girl, it will stop you from building a healthy bond with other women who are more than friends.

So love her as much as you want, but don't get too emotionally close.

That's what I'm worried about. She never even seems to act surprised about it though. Do you think it would be too bold if I just didn't put clothes on next time she did it?

Just tell her "if you do it again I won't put my clothes back on". And see if she does it again.
If she does it again, she wants the D.

Ooh, good idea.

If you believed in honest male-female friendship you wouldn't verboten the romantically unlucky.
>He could have hobbies that are more interesting than yours, she could be attracted to that.
Sure, but... I don't understand how that premise leads to the conclusion "Therefore you can't hang around with incels"?

Is it normal for multiple female friends to frequently discuss your penis in front of you? I'm not sure how to construe this.

I would say that's not really a normal situation.
I mean how familiar are they with your penis to be able to frequently discuss it?

Well, I always go commando, so they've seen it on several occasions. Sometimes up the legs of my shorts, sometimes a branch or something will pull my pants down, and on rare occasions they'll pants me.

Guy here, would it be a bad idea to put that I'm shy and introverted on a dating profile? Or is honestly generally appreciated more than grandiose posturing?

honesty*

Girls be like "bullying is bad!!" while they fuck the bullies later.

Is acne a big turn off for girls? What about acne spots? (post acne)

guy with the girl he met at a house party, met up with her a week later here

she just texted me "so about the situation couple days before: purely amicable, right? :D"

well fuck me

what?

summary:
>met up with her
>sit up until 11 pm at a park, talk, laugh, listen to some music
>at a certain point i was sure i should've kissed her but didn't

what the hell are you rambling about? what is your question?

what the hell do i do now

i don't know nearly enough about you or your situation to answer such an open-ended question

wait here's my post from before:
Girls, i need some advice on this one girl i met at a house party last week and we've met up yesterday

We talked for hours at a park bench, listening to music, laughing and at some point it got really intense where i was sure i had to kiss her but i didn't, because honestly i didn't want to be obtrusive and kiss on the first "date", felt bummed somehow because there were a lot of flags for it i guess...

She did send me a video after she went on her ride home and tagged me in an insta picture she wanted me to show but couldn't find this morning, so alls good right?

Also:
are these red flags
>she talked about how with 25 she feels like she didn't live her youth
>she feels like she doesn't have enough friends
>she has an indifferent kind of attitiude towards life, yet she's happy with where she is
I'm unsure if this is something bad, she's 25, studies medicine, has a smaller family with whom she's in touch regularly and she doesn't like argueing/fighting or rather doesn't see a sense in it, rather talking about it is more her thing

Yes, this would be a bad idea.
No-one expects you to list your faults on these things. If you do, it says more that "I don't have enough positive aspects to fill this out so I have to enter negative ones" than "I am scrupulously honest about telling the truth, the whole truth".

Honestly there needs to be not a single negative attribute on your profile. Girls can get away with it. Guys: no way.

Faults? Those aren't faults, they're traits.

Literally everyone's told you for 3 threads that these aren't red flags at all and she sounds lovely.
It's getting to the point where I'm going to report you for spam. Why do you find the many, many previous answers insufficient?

are you not reading my previous post user...? i reposted it for the sake of context

How do I set up some sort of dating profile

re-post, just to get more insight
>best friend's ex is also my friend of about 2 years
>they broke up, she starts acting more "friendly" or so she claims thats what it is
>treats me like her bf, asks me "what kind of girlfriend would you like?" or she'd say things like "I wish I never met your friend so I could have met you" or "you're perfect for me" "you're very handsome" "I actually love you", that last one got me hard
>she would give me those "lets fuck" eyes and she would cuddle in bed with me and ask me to stay the night
>I feel like a rebound so I decide to distance myself
>she is devastated but c'mon, her ex is my best friend, can't do that to him and I don't like being her rebound, thats not how you treat your friends
>7 months later she reaches out to me because she wants me back in her life
>says she fucked 4 guys and that its my fault because if I was around she wouldn't have done that
>I tell her its her life, her responsibility
>before, she also said that she feels bad about being slutty and she'd stop, and referred to slutty people with contempt
>call her out on it now
>she says "well, I didn't say I promise"
>makes some other bullshit up, acts very manipulative
>says she never loved me and that I had no reasons to believe she did
>I tell her I want to cut all contact because she hurt me and used me too much
>she is upset but agrees and says that from now on we avoid each other in college
>then I see her in college all the time, she keeps looking at me, sits near me with her new "boyfriend" who she's only been seeing for about 2 weeks
>guy is pretty much a copy of me, except younger and looks like a fuckboi
>but she never liked ME that way, interesting
>she keeps finding ways to get close to me despite agreeing we should ignore each other
>yesterday I was sitting with my friends in the canteen, her and her "boyfriend" sat behind us, it was awkward, she did it intentionally
What does she want? how do I avoid her? I blocked her on everything already

Why do girls act nervous around me?
I'm not really good looking, but I'm funny, confident and few years older than those girls. But whenever I talk to them or they come up to me to talk, they act very shy, awkward, and like they're looking for a way out of the conversation they initiated. I see them acting much more natural/casual and more talkative with other guys, its just me that they act different around. I don't really initiate anything because I feel like they don't want to talk to me, but when they do, they act tense despite me not doing anything that could come across as flirty or anything out of the ordinary. I'm an easy person to get along with and I'm fairly likable and like I said, they often come to me and initiate things but when I try to speak, it gets tense and awkward on their end pretty quickly. I think one of the girls that did that likes me, but she still acts awkward around me after about a year now so I don't pursue her as its just too uncomfortable, but other girls I've no idea about

>so about the situation couple days before: purely amicable, right? :D

This is a textbook shit test. She's seeing if you're going to pussy out of pursuing her or not.

Your answer should be
>"Well I'd love it to be more than amicable... want to meet up again for a [movie/coffee] date on [appropriate day]?".

Use the word "date". This is critical.

Gib A/S/L, the nature of the sort of profile you need to make is very different depending on these answers.
Also I don't think I've used the term ASL in about 15 years

>This is a textbook shit test.
are you 100% sure of that?
>Use the word "date". This is critical.
i asked yesterday if she wants to meet up tomorrow and she agreed, doing this now again with "date" in the sentence would seem weird
also she's writing:
"let's say it short: it's all amicable right?" she means it literally, that's no shit test

>What does she want?

She hates you for rejecting her, she wants to rub in your face forever that "You could have had this but you abandoned me in my time of vulnerability you asshole"
The only thing she wants from you is your jealousy.

Two solutions:
A) Get GF yourself, and hang around near her being affectionate, at that point she's not going to try and Lord it over you because you're clearly doing fine without her
B) Pretend you never agreed to cut off contact forever and give her a friendly "Hi! How are you doing?" whenever you see her. It's the fact it's making you annoyed that makes her want to do it, so just... act not annoyed.

>"let's say it short: it's all amicable right?" she means it literally, that's no shit test
No.
Amicable is functioning as "platonic", i.e. the opposite of "romantic" in this sentence. She's literally asking you if you want to be her bf or her friendzone orbiter.

i've translated the word she used to amicable so it's not exact, but other than that... what now? doo i tell her "well i'd really like to get to know you better"?

I told her recently that I liked her too but the situation prevented us from being together, and that she even acknowledged that because of her ex (who is my close friend) I couldn't do it, but she kept going so it made me feel like a rebound. Now she says she never really loved me to begin with, but I think thats a lie. It was too difficult to choose between my two best friends so I chose neither. She says I turned her into a slut because I didn't choose her. Do you think that makes me a bad person? she really tried to rub it in to make me feel bad and she succeeded, but now I'm not sure if I should feel guilty because she did say she wouldn't be like that again.

And yeah, I'll go with solution A) because B) wouldn't work with her, she'd think I'm leading her on if she does in fact love me, despite claiming otherwise

Oh. Err... Ok, if this is translated from non-english then I can't help you tease out the subtext, sorry.
I rescind my previous diagnosis of shit-testiness.
Although if the meaning was "It was just a trip as friends... riiiiiiight???" then answering "Yes" is still not what you want to do.

yeah, i'll tell her no and that i'd like to get to know her better guess i lost then meh

You expect us to decipher what a girl is saying when we don't even speak her language?

i've translated it into english as close as i can user

All it takes is for you to look good. I get that a lot but I'm pretty sure it's my presentation.

That's meaningless, words from other languages can have contextual meaning that are completely different from ours.

This girl in my class and her friend started hanging out with me a lot more lately, they'd even text me asking if I want to hang out.

They're both taken, but their boyfriends aren't in college with us.

First girl is like a female version of me, very like minded and has the same interests and style and we just get along super well. She'd act very comfortable around me, once she said she's thinking of an "open relationship" as if to imply something. She remembers things I told her like a year ago, things I sometimes forget I told her, we always sit together and we just have a very similar lifestyle and she sees a lot of herself in me.

The other girl is more girly and acts like it too. She stares at me sometimes and whenever I see her she smiles and waves and I know she likes my company, she also gets touchy with me, more so than with her other friends which she isn't really touchy with at all. Sometimes when I talk to her she stares in my eyes and barely blinks and just smiles. I treat her like my little sister because I know she's taken, but I think she treats me like she would treat a guy she's interested in. I just don't act on it because I don't want to be an asshole and I genuinely like their company myself.

Am I looking too far into it and thats just how girls act friendly around guys? or is this something girls do to guys they like?

Your actions as you have described them were totally proper. Her blaming you for becoming a slut is totally ridiculous; she's an adult, she makes her own decisions, and she decided to slut it up with 4 guys; you didn't pull down her panties for her. It's DOUBLY ridiculous when she accepted that it was inappropriate for you to be together because of her ex - it's not like you said "Lol no ur 2 ugly no-one will want you" and so she went off slutting out of ruined confidence. You said you'd date her but the ex makes it impossible.

Honestly it sounds like she's desperately trying to retcon he internal narrative of her slut-time so she can blame it anyone but herself, through any tenuous "logic" she can, and you unfortunately happened to be the closest bystander.

If your ex texts your more often than your current romantic partner, does that mean something is wrong? I dunno if I'm just waiting on a response and that is making me anxious about it but I've been thinking about this for a little while.

It really depends on the rest of your face.

Ladies?

Soon to be 21, male, New Zealand

There's something wrong with your ex, not.your current relationship.
I have the same experience, and I know exactly why: it's because my ex is single, moving rapidly towards The Wall, and I was the only guy who ever showed any interest in her. She is motivated by insecurity and desperation, which is a great texting motivator.
Whereas my actual GF just texts me once or twice a day to share cat memes, and that's fine.

>she's an adult, she makes her own decisions,
thats what I told her, and she said "had you stayed in my life things would've been different and I wouldn't have done that" then she said she never loved me in that way, so that implies she was using me as a rebound and got all upset and slutty because I refused to be one.

She even tried lying to me telling me we had some kind of conversation where she told me she didn't love me, but that never happened and I called her out on it. It was a tough conversation and I felt like she was really being manipulative. It's actually gotten to my head and I started blaming myself for the whole thing. But yeah, the way you explained it is pretty much how I tried to piece it together in my head after the fact, just wasn't sure if I'm just not trying to avoid responsibility for some actions I've made

I'm invested in the story so I appreciate the update.

There is a question mark at the end, that does leave something for interpretation. She either wants you to confirm it's just frienship or wants to see if you want to try for more. It's hard to tell the tone over just text.

Whatever you answered or if you didn't yet definitely mention it on your date that's maybe not a date. Not right away so you don't make the encounter awkward but towards the end bring it up, seeing her reponse irl will give you more info then text.

hey user

>It's hard to tell the tone over just text
yeah i told her that from my pov i want to get to know her more/better
>yet definitely mention it on your date that's maybe not a date
dunno if i'm going to meet up with her if all she sees/wants is friendship honestly, reading her answer as we speak

so her answer to my "from my view i'd like to get to know you better" she replied "you already know me good enough :D" !?!?!? what the fuck is that supposed to mean now

>"had you stayed in my life things would've been different and I wouldn't have done that"

I mean, this may well be literally true - but only in the same way that "If I grew angelic wings and could soar through the clouds my life would be totally different" is also literally true. The two of you dating was not a possible outcome of that situation, any more than sprouting wings, and you know it, and she knows it, and you both agreed on it. It's her reaction to that melancholic situation where the blame lies. She could have dusted herself off and found a stable relationship; but no, she decided to buy an express ticket to the cock carousel, and that's on her.

As for the whole "I never loved you" bit... I don't think it even matters, does it? To repeat the above: you couldn't date and you both knew it, so whether she loved you or not is kind of irrelevant. The only reason she's trying to rescind it now is to hurt your ego, because in her head she needs you to be the villain to absolve herself of blame, and if you're the villain then you deserve to be hurt.

It's over. You fucked it.

None of this is the case with my ex.

how did i fuck it explain

What's not to understand about that? She basically just said you're not going to get to know her any better than you do right now.

so what do i reply now

We can't write every fucking text for you. Fuck off.

I don't think you're fucked, I think she's trying to be cute; but, being a woman, she doesn't realise the roller-coaster of pathos this induces on the other end.

She wants you to say "I wanna date you romantically". Or... however you would best-phrase an unambiguously non-platonic relationship in your language.

You're too far in to back down now user, just do it. I think she'll say yes, the emoji is a good sign.

>at wedding
>grandmother and uncle come over
>uncle tells me how my grandmother couldn't recognize me across the room when he pointed me out
>grandma has 20/20 vision
>she kept saying "user can't be that ugly"
>they came up to prove it's me
>they walk off laughing
>tfw been called ugly my entire life
>tfw never had a date, kiss or gf
>tfw even my family think I'm ugly

hmm it's hard to dicipher over text though, but she could've said "i want friendshiop" or "i dont see more than friendship"
>just do it
do what though :(

And your question was?

Ok so she' obviously a master or illiusive answers. It's not encouraging but it's also not a definitive no...

What's your first language mate, I speak 5 maybe we can decipher the original?

it's german

>As for the whole "I never loved you" bit... I don't think it even matters, does it?
Right now, yeah, it doesn't matter but at the time she claimed she loved me and was pretty clear about being interested in me, but she was too vulnerable at the time for me to take advantage, despite liking her too. But it wasn't genuine and like I said, we both knew it wouldn't happen because of her ex, but she continued being flirty while I was more and more skeptical about the whole thing until it became too much and I wanted distance. Then she acted like I dumped her, and now says she never actually loved me, which confirms she just wanted to use me as a rebound, which confirms I had the right to not be happy about it and leave. She says I had no reasons to believe she was into me, that she never loved me despite saying she does, and that I just left because I was into her, and it wasn't mutual. That whole segment of the story fucks with my head, because later she did blame me that had I stayed her rebound, she wouldn't be slutty again. And then she wanted me back in her life, but after these accusations I couldn't possibly agree to that and we both agreed to just move on. Now she's acting like we never agreed on that and she tries to get me jealous with her new "boyfriend", who ironically seems to be a very similar type to what I am, so her whole "I never loved you" thing just makes even less sense.

I just wish she actually moved on with her life, this just makes it very uncomfortable the way she keeps trying to get close to me. I don't want her to start stalking me or something, because I think it already happened once.
One after my final exams, we went to the pub with my friends and she was just walking out of it with my friend who she was on a date with. Then an hour later I went for a smoke outside and she was there again. It may have been a coincidence but knowing her, I don't think it is. Now she does similar things but its about 7-8 months later.

less of a specific directed question but moreover, when I'm out with girls how do I get out of my own head. I feel almost robotic being aware of everything. Shoot, dancing at the club with some friends and they're all drinking to loosen up and it's boggling that its willful poisoning to enjoy oneself. but hey, random guys came up to our group just grabbed some of the girls and danced with them, so they must be doing something right. how do I relax and stop caring, cause I feel girls are also aware that I'm not relaxed like the other guys. dancing is still fun but I can't flirt or anything when i'm like that.

Girls, how do I help you feel less uncomfortable when I'm taking your virginity?

For people that don't have sex first and then see what happens, but try to date first and have sex once some connection is established.

How long does it usually take before the girl gets impatient? I dated girls for months but it never really escalated anywhere and either she started acting passive aggressive, or I just lost interest, or she lost interest. I feel its because I didn't make a move and didn't have sex with her. But it always felt like the wrong thing to do because the person wasn't right. I just don't know if its because I was taking too long to fuck them, or if they actually weren't the right people for me and fucking that would've been a mistake.
I try to befriend girls first and then date, but I feel like I'm taking too long and they pressure me to make a move but that comes across as passive aggressive and i either lose interest, or I end up leaving because I'm pressured. Now I'm starting to think the problem is with me and that I should think with my dick more and fuck much quicker. Is that a way to go or whats going on?

I can't help then, all I can say in german is
ich kann nicht sprechen deutsch.

I can't tell for sure, but to me it's leaning more towards hard-to-get banter then rejection.

hmm i see, i'm leaning towards a "i don't think so" answer?

Just talk to them about your expectations, and if they differ move on.
Stop expecting people to feel like you, or to read your mind.

Honestly, the best thing for it is to get yourself a new GF. Whatever mind games she's playing with you seem to be working, because here you are writing effort posts about a clearly gaslighting, manipulative woman who was from your past and should really stay there.
You couldn't be a thing in the past, and you can't be a thing in the future, so you really shouldn't be squandering all this introspection on this girl. Go get a new one.
Bonus points if you get a stronk GF and then you can catfight them.

I think you're right. Its just that its still so fresh in my head and I usually like to put things to rest and get my internal closure, before I can just move on, in case I haven't learned anything from the situation. I think I got my closure now, just needed to vent a bit. Thanks for the time user, I appreciate it

I think your best bet is to still meet with her and then bring it up In person she can't hide her tone behind texts with double meanings..

hmm i see, so cut it short via text now? but how do i get away from that answer of hers

I would like to begin making female friends, mostly in an effort to better understand women. Are there any particularly good places for this? I feel as though the typical places, such as bars, are only good for hook-ups.

What's your age (at least aproximately), are you a student, are you working, what part of the world are you from, all those influence the answer.

>What's your age (at least aproximately)
24.
>are you a student
No.
>are you working
Not currently, but soon.
>what part of the world are you from
United States, Missouri.

I don't wanna advise you anything cause I really don't want to fuck it up for you.

you can't user but i guess i'll just try my luck, her answer does in fact read like hard to get banter, i'll update you

As a european student to know where approchable american girls hang out isn't really my expertise.
I agree that bars and clubs are definitely not the best places. Depending how much you want to invest I would maybe suggest taking a class or workshop at a cultural centre (don't know if that's even a thing in us), but for example I went to a free woodworking workshop and I met tons of guy friends there. Also doing volonteer work. I'm saying those just cause in sitations like that you'll have to interact, and you can't have awkward scilences cause you can always refer the thing you have in common.