Got into an argument with my wife. Am I the asshole, or is she? Im the white boxes

The context is this;

This morning, Im like "Why do you do certain things and then get upset with the fact that it affects me in certain ways?". And she just didnt say anything. So I went " So you're just gonna ignore me?" And instead of answering the question, she derailed and went " BUT WHEN YOU IGNORED ME BEFORE, IT WAS OKAY" (referencing a situation in 20-FUCKING-16. So I yelled at her. Because whenever I tell her she did something wrong, instead of acknowledging it, she'll deflect with "BUT YOU.......". And it frustrated me.

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based

Nigga are you retarded? IN THE TEXTS, I acknowledged my wrongdoings and just said 'I know where I was wrong and fixed it, so you do the same'.

>arguing this much with a woman

lol beta detected

What is this behavior she's complaining about? Are you getting emotional and insulting her or something?

Why can't you just stop doing it instead of assuming an apology afterwards will fix the problem after the damage is done?

You mean with my wife of 6 years? You Jow Forums niggas are weird. You're losers in real life but hop online and act like you're the smoothest guys out here. Let yall tell it, everyone on Jow Forums is a stud 10/10 11in dick alpha in real life lol.

Read up in the thread. I explained the issue, and also apologized.

Then I can't help you. If you need to keep justifying, that's on you.

>blams others
>needs to crawl to them for validation
I don't know what's sadder. Your tough guy attitude or the fact that you prostrated yourself before us and then turned around when we didn't agree with you.

Dumbfuck.

>11 inches
Dicklet detected
I bet you're physically incapable of cervical penetration, so you can never please a woman

Justifying what, exactly?

I dont care lol.

Then drop the argument dude
Why is winning so important, retard?

The point Im making with her isnt to win. Its "We both did wrong, I apologized and changed my behavior, and you kept being aggressive". I literally stated that we arent enemies, and that continuing to escalate things didnt help at all.

Is the context lost on you? Honest question.

What's lost on me is how you don't see that constantly asserting 'right and wrong' is what high schoolers do.

I'ma just settle on you being like 21 tops, or having the mindset thereof. I don't think you're clever enough to see what's really wrong here, which is why I said neither of you are relationship material.

But keep on being 'right' since it's so dearly important to you.

this entire thread is literally you starting an argument with your wife

>The point Im making with her isnt to win. Its "We both did wrong, I apologized and changed my behavior, and you kept being aggressive". I literally stated that we arent enemies, and that continuing to escalate things didnt help at all.
Yeah, and you're doing exactly what you accuse her of by REFUSING TO THE LET THIS GO. You know what I and my wife of 10 years do when we get in this situation? WE BOTH APOLOGIZE, REGARDLESS OF WHO'S RIGHT OR WRONG, and we move the fuck on and watch a cartoon or play a game or something. You're not suing her in civil court, needledick, your goal is to get her to feel better and to feel better yourself. You remind me my of my father at his worst - he always felt he could argue his way out of everything and that situations had to meet his idea of fairness. I learned to not be like him early on.

Nah the texts werent the start. I had to leave, and tge texts were a continuation.

But how am I doing that? All Im telling her is that she cant keep being an asshole and not own up to her shit.

But thats my point. I apologized, and she didnt. My issue os Im the only one willing to apologize. Also, I dont think just not talking about shit is a real solution. I feel like things need to be discussed until a resolution is found. But you've been married for longer than me, so Im open to your advice.

You just... really wanna fucken win this argument and even here you're doing it.
You're argumentative. She's argumentative.

This is like, textbook "you gotta be the bigger person."
Do you deadass have such little faith in her character that you think she's still mad about being 'wrong?' she's clearly mad that you won't just drop the whole argument and are still so rooted in determining her as the loser.
>b-but us both
THEN YOU'D SAY "I FUCKED UP AND I'M SORRY, I DON'T WANT THIS TO RUIN OUR DAYS. I DON'T WANT TO ARGUE, I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE MISUNDERSTOOD. I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU DON'T EITHER."

C H R I S T

Don't argue over text, just say let's talk later. Argue in person and escalate it to sex.

Look at this shit, it is a nothing arguement, it's basically foreplay and even you acknowledge it. Dick her down and eat something with her and be over "it."

>But thats my point. I apologized, and she didnt.
So then instead of going on Pope Leo's 23rd Crusade for the Fucking Apology, maybe ASK HER HOW SHE FEELS and why what you did UPSET HER SO MUCH SHE'S HAVING A HARD TIME APOLOGIZING. It's clear from your texts that you have 0 interest in listening to her at all about anything and you can't help her deal with shit you won't listen to. Just give her some space to vent that's not about winning or losing.

>Also, I dont think just not talking about shit is a real solution.
It's like you've never been to therapy. You know what "I" statements are? Instead of saying, "You never apologize", say, "I still feel angry over what happened this morning because I feel like you didn't apologize for you role." It's still a petty bullshit thing to be hung up on but at least this way it sounds like a product of your shriveled testicles and not like criminal charges being brought in the 3rd circuit court of appeals. Then she can tell you how she feels and you can talk about YOUR FEELINGS instead of WHAT HAPPENEND because only one of those things matters.

> feel like things need to be discussed until a resolution is found.
They do. But any experience mass debater will tell you that doing the same thing over and over until it starts to hurt isn't going to work out for either of you.

>But you've been married for longer than me, so Im open to your advice.
If she's worth being married to and she sees you eating shit over something, she'll want to pick you up. Then you're on the same time. So go back to remedial shit-eating class and get good, fast.

Yeah, OP, it seems like you're talking in circles and trying to prove something, but then saying that you're not despite your actions.
Let it go.

Okay, and I get that. But shes not the brightest. I dont mean that in a condescending way. Shes literally just not the smartest. Even our mutual best friend would agree. Its why I initially (early in our relationship) ahbored admitting fault, anyway. Because if we both were wrong but I apologise for it, she'd interpret that as me saying I was wrong and she wasnt, ergo, her behavior wouldnt change. Why shouldnt she acknowledge her wrongdoings? Isnt that the point? To realize where you're wrong and fix it?

Yeah I've been in therapy, and I remember the "I" thing. I implemented it before, bit I guess I forgot about it. I guess I'll just have to suck it up, cause in the long run, this is petty. You're right. Thanks.

HAHA
Sorry for the laugh user, been there. So many times. Small side question, does she have her period?, I mean, is it around that time of the month now? This is like the number one question you must ask yourself once your blood starts boiling and you feel the shit show it's about to start. I said ask yourself, not ask her.
Are you the asshole? It doesn't really matter. But I really would NEVER have this kind of conversation on a recorded medium like text. If you feel like writing, don't, leave it for later, deal with it later in person, it'll be better, maybe, and there is less risk of going back in time and pointing fingers.
You seem reaching the point when you start to realize that something is happening. It's not just that you are riding it, you actually suspect that something can be fixed. Even if you say it angry and all that. Basically both of you have to pull your weight to make this thing work. You both are gonna need to start changing shit to make it work. She probably needs to stop pushing your buttons. And you probably need to stop reacting the way you do. I get the way you react, some times is necessary or they'll eat you alive, but not all times is necessary and, also, not all times require a full on reaction. It's all about learning, together, and de-escalating. By learning I mean literally learning wtf is happening, what exact buttons are being pushed, what psychological mechanisms are being set in action. People are addicted to drama and, in many, many cases, females are kind of addicted at having a man blowing up and reacting, yelling, door slamming, breaking shit. No one would admit that though. But many times the evidence speaks for itself. She has to learn to let go of this addiction, and you have to learn to stop providing the dose through your reaction (which is addictive too, the adrenaline rush, the yelling, it's fantastic in a weird way, but it's bad, it needs to go, so keep watering it down until it disappears)
Sorry for the long rant bro

OP here for an update.

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yeah, when you get home is good. Cut it out user. You're in the zero axis of the wave right now, get out of the conversation now or you're gonna keep going up and down like an idiot getting nowhere. Breathe. Also once things are good, they're good, don't touch them. Move forward. No "let's go back again to that moment where things weren't good and see if we can fuck up this good moment we're enjoying now"

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Yeah I hear it. Its just hard to know what to do because yeah, I wanna win. But winning to me is us both realizing where we went wrong and fixing it. Not just ignoring it.

That is all you had to say. Not all the other shit.

why are you texting your fucking wife you complete retard

Because we arent around eachother right now, dumb nigga.

>corny as hell

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>retarded filter pro-pic
>would of
couldn't even continue reading. just leave here

When a woman knows she is right, she will drive that point home, when she knows she's wrong she will deflect and attack.

Good show, man. Hope it works out. You haven't uttered one word about wanting to leave her, so I hope you two work it out.

Sounds about right

Thanks man. And of course not. This woman saved my life and gave me 2 kids. We were also best friends for 3 years before dating. Im not just gonna give up.

It's like they're fighting just to fight

Fucking heartwarming. Way to go user

>look at all the deescalation I'm doing
Top kek user
Could've avoided a dozen texts and just sent these

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