Had sex with boyfriend after wanting to do it for him for the first time

>had sex with boyfriend after wanting to do it for him for the first time
>we did it
>instead of cuddling after it and let our feelings run their course, he quickly stood up, went to clean himself up and was ready to do something else
>asks him if he felt good at least
>"well, it was a little awkward but it felt good.... Not as good as fapping but still pretty great"
>go grab something to eat with him
>tell him I feel kinda bad he just dismissed our encounter in the way he did
>"well sex is not my priority. if we do it, cool, but if not, meh, I don't mind"
>"so, what we did, what it did meant to you?"
>no answer
>"and what are your priorities then? "
>he mentions a list of unrelated stuff
>"oh and you, of course, yeah... "
>he mentioned me at dead last of his priorities
>feel like a cheap slut he just had sex with because I somehow convinced him to do it instead of him wanting to do things with me
>he says similar, ambiguous things about other important things in the relationship

I don't know what to feel anymore.

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Just dump his ass and move on. He has already shown he has very little interest in you.

You just assumed he valued you, but he didn’t. Nothing wrong with you except for not being able to see that your relationship isn’t as intimate as you wanted it to be. A healthy relationship wouldn’t be like that. I guess its a learning experience for you and next time you might have to get to know someone better before getting physically intimate. This is why people used to get married before sex.

Maybe you shouldn't have whored yourself out, dipshit. Too late now.

>This is why people used to get married before sex.

How long where you in a relationship before having sex?

your boyfriend sounds autistic

4 years.

>not as good as fapping

I think your man is autistic. No one just says the truth like that. He may not be able to communicate his emotions. Or just dont care.

Idk how guys like that even get sex. Must be attractive

>stay with a guy for 4 years without commitment from him
>act surprised when he's noncommital
It's all so tiresome

How old are you both? 4 years before having sex is a LONG time...4 months maybe...heck 4 weeks...

I think user is right, definitely sounds like an autistic. Kinda not joking either. Without knowing more information, I'd assume that over the others saying he's bad news.

Communicate...say how it made you feel in a non accusational way. If he gets mad, separate and evaluate dumping him. If he responds unemotional, you probably have an autistic...or I mean a future serial killer. Either way, embrace it if you love him, work around the failures of emotion, as they might be out of his control.

>must be attractive

He really isn't so much of a catch, but he's not ugly.

Ok so its money

>without commitment

He's committed, but he constantly makes these mistakes. They have started to feel more like indirect messages than mistakes, tho.

Never mind i take backHow can you expect the man to give a shit about fucking you now? Of course he compared it to masturbating! Hes not autisic. But hes a fucking idiot for hanging around you for 4 years no sex.

You're both asexuals. Or just broken. You're perfect for eachother.

Also you're a fucking dumbass for wasting everyone's time with this thread.

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Did you tell him any of this about how it ended up making you feel? Anyone who doesn't cuddle after sex is an asshole, aftercare is a necessity even for vanilla sex. I never let my man leave post-sex, but he also never wants to leave, so, your man might be retarded.

Uhh don't you mean four hours

The transient "commitment" of your relationship is worthless. Either of you can walk out at any moment with zero repercussions--it's delusional to think that such an arrangement can be called commitment.

I'm talking about marriage. You squandered a hefty portion of your youth on an ambiguous and obviously ill-fated experiment, which even then was recoverable until you decided it would be a good idea to give yourself to the guy.

That said, I am almost entirely certain that he's not trying to send you subtle 'hints'. Men don't communicate like that, let alone literal autists. That's just how he is--and if you had spent even a little bit of the past 4 years looking, you would have found out before you got yourself into this mess.

>hes a fucking idiot for hanging around you for 4 years no sex.
On the contrary. Waiting until marriage is demonstrably good. The guy is a sperg, yes, and he clearly only refrained from sex because it never came up, but the problem comes from the fact that so much time is wasted when this part of his personality should have been made obvious early on.

>but he constantly makes these mistakes.
he hasn't made any mistakes. you're applying a lot of your own perspective to this without realizing it. he had sex with you when you asked and he reacted in his own way to it, and you were taken by surprise by that. you were bummed out because you thought he would want to cuddle, but because he didn't you consider the way he responded to be dismissive even though that's just how he responded to it. he wasn't dismissive, some people just move on with their day and he may not have realized it was interpreted that way at the time. you could have easily communicated that you wanted to cuddle after sex before having it or afterward. he has his own things that he values in life, and sex is not one of them. that doesn't mean the sex he had with you was meaningless or not valuable, but that sex for him isn't a priority.

this is an independent person who has experienced a majority of their life without you, you're not going to be one of their priorities in life. you shouldn't expect partners to absorb you and to take equal footing as the rest of some of the constants in life like family or work. you're a romantic partner, not a need. you should be able to value yourself and not rely on your partner for this sort of reassurance, and be able to have these important conversations about your values and what you like before you jump into things. you also need to consider alternate viewpoints because this reads like you're expecting him to know the feelings and interpretations you take away from his actions without you communicating them (mind reading essentially).

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Four long years, why suddenly did you agree to sex now rather than waiting for marriage (and the infidelity)

TL/DR woman are so incapable of undertanding anyone elses POV

>fucking your boyfriend is whoring yourself out
Have sex
>wait for marriage meme
Contraception exists in /currentyear/

Could be retarded. I have autism though so getting up and tidying up the mess and getting back to other stuff seemed like the logical thing to do. If the girl wants aftercare and cuddles she would have to communicate it to me immediately after the sex act.

I bet you’re a fucking gay dude aren't you. This sounds like some shit a fag would post.

What am I even reading... 4 years? And you didn't see this coming? If the man wasn't bugging you for sex every week, hell, every other day, then obviously he's Asexual or some other issue. Wtf does he masturbate to, do you know?

Not sure why you were so surprised by this outcome. He clearly wasn't waiting for some big romantic first time sex night. Sounds like he'd rather masturbate and play Minecraft.

Might be time to move on...

break up

Kill him.

Are you fat?

So I'm seeing a lot of autism on here and I gotta say most of the people are fucking retards that never had any kind of long term relationship. Piece of advice for you girl. Move on.

t. Did this to my ex in the tail end of our relationship.

He said it was meh because he's been getting it on the side for the past 4 years. Finally fucking you was just another fuck to him.

>Not as good as fapping

Op, don't put up with this shit. A basic dildo has more emotional availability than this potato.

After looking after a few posts I think this might be one of the most sensible answers.
I can't blame any of you for thinking my bf is autistic. There's times he has shown worry that he might be on the spectrum, even if slightly. He has a hard time telling apart feelings and exercising empathy in a healthy way. He has these bouts of "honesty" where he's being real and direct, but only comes of as critical and as kind of a pedantic asshole.
I don't think he's capable of cheating, but I do feel he's starting to see me as a commodity rather than his partner. But also, I feel like I've expected him to have the same frame of perception when it comes to things in the relationship, one of them seeing how we see sex and everything after it. Maybe I'm expecting too much from him. I dunno.

I'll try having a conversation with him about all this.
Thanks for all the replies.

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The real problem is op made the guy wait 4 years before revealing she is a dirty slutty whore.
That would make most guys not want to cuddle.

Even if the guy is autistic or even if he is a chad who has has sex with 5 to 12 or whatever other girls the past few years.

After waiting more then 4 weeks she is permanent friend, like having sex with sister.

Also maybe the guy is just better then most people, he is able to concentrate on other more important things, other then emotion and relationships.

He could also be acting like that as reverse psych to make op girl want him more or something.
But I think it's op's fault.