So can anyone at all explain how to have an orgasm?

So can anyone at all explain how to have an orgasm?

I wasted money on a vibrator and everything and no magic and fireworks is happening.

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You stick it in a hole and pretend it's part of the dirtiest fantasy you have. Orgasms are a mental game.

What vibrator is it? Are you a wimmen?

It’s a bullet vibrator. I can push it in there but it only feels unpleasant.

About the size of my thumb. And yes.

Fine, pedant, stick it in or around a hole. That was hardly the most important part of my reply.

Atmosphere is important even if you think its not. Turn off the lights, get some scented candles and put on some nice music. You should also be aware that very few women ever orgasm through vaginal stimulation alone. Clit is more important. Rub it while you use the vibrator. Take it slow and don't stop until you get there.

As a wimmen, I recommend clitoral stimulation over fingers in holes. Put a towel down, go to town on your clitoris with the vibrator, et cetera. If that one doesn't work you may need extra help, if you don't have any extra vibrator you can use a vibrating toothbrush

If you're that sheltered from pleasure...find yourself a good porn to watch, something that makes you feel aroused. Something that makes you go "I wish that was me". Volume up, because you'll likely be caring less about the video and more about the audio as you get into it.

Once you've got that, watch for a bit, and start playing with yourself. Feel for your clit, do not use the vibrator. Rub with lots of spit or lotion, small circular, up and down.

Once you start getting going, pop out the bullet, turn it on low and replace your finger rubbing with it....and just let it happen.

I don’t even listen to music regularly, I get self-conscious that someone might hear it.

I tried pressing it really hard on the clit, but that only felt like anything for a few seconds and then it stopped feeling like anything.

Watching porn makes me feel like I’m in a bad zoo. I can try to look at it and try to find something I like, but all I can think about is hoe unhappy they look and how they’d probably want to be somewhere else instead.

Do not press hard, you want soft and gentle until you ramp up to hard if at all.

You just gotta find the right porn. I definitely get what you mean, and there is alot of trash out there. There are plenty of pornstars out there that just seem like they absolutely adore the work...

No clue what you're into, but anything with either of these's clear they love what they do...

You just have to find what works for you. Try moving it around to different spots around the clitoral area and the vulva too, touching your nipples first might help because that connects somehow to the nerves in the clitoris.

If your imagination isn't helping you might need some visual stimulation as well.

Have you had a pelvic exam to make sure you're functioning?
On any antidepressants/bc that may be messing you up?

I’ve tried looking at porn but it all makes me uncomfortable.

I don’t like touching my body.

Would they notice that during a standard gyno exam?

I’m not on any right now, I was given antidepressants as a sleeping aid, but I rarely use them.

Find better porn, and you don't have to use a vibrator or anything loud if you're worried about noise. You can just use your hands and lube.

Watch some porn based on what you find arousing, and shop around for it. Don't focus on having an orgasm just focus on having a good time, and you don't have to penetrate. Just focus on feeling aroused and then touch around your body and see what feels good with that. The biggest sex organ you have is your brain, which is why it's important for you to focus on arousal rather than worrying about an orgasm or the logistics behind it.

I recommend erotic literature.
Literotica or erotic Fanfiction

What if I can’t find anything?

I don’t know where to even start thinking of something I would like.

So there you go, you’re asking us about orgasm but you’re not even sure where to go for basic arousal stuff. That’s like asking us for a book recommendation when you’re learning to read. It’s ok if you can’t find anything specific. We can’t answer that question for you, you have to kind of explore the world of porn and literotica for yourself, and if you can’t find anything don’t stress about it too much. Masturbation isn’t a requirement for living and neither is sex as much as society focuses on it. If you really really can’t find stuff to arouse you then maybe just pull back from this as a goal and wait for it to come to you naturally. You’ll be able to use your time more productively doing other things in life than trying to force yourself to get aroused to masturbate.

*sigh* you probably don't know how to size your own bra either.

buy some sexual lube from walmart. Or cooking oil, like coconut oil. Use a small drop on your pointer and index finger. Rub around your clit while thinking about something that gets your turned on. You will be looking for a motion that feels good. Repeat this motion until you cum.

After that, repeat. Maybe cum twice. After that your vagina should be engorged with blood and you can move to insertion.

I would not use a cooking grade lube for inside your vagina. Could fuck the ph up. Use spit or something made for sex like ky or a water based sexual lube.

Anyway, there should be a spot on the top of your vagina, facing your head, about 2 inches in that feels good. Press on that with a motion that feels good. Repeat until you cum. You might be able to do it just right where your fingers hit the spot on the inside while your palm rubs your clit.

There is a spot in the far back, between the cervix and the normal vagina wall that feels pretty good but is too far for your fingers probably. Might need a toy for that. I think they call it the A spot.

The nice thing about the A spot is that for some women it can also help self lubrication along if you are having trouble with that.

>I don’t know where to even start thinking of something I would like.

nothing in your such and such years on this earth has turned you on?

You've never noticed yourself being oddly attracted to something about something?

This. Allows you to create your own visuals and keeps your attention on the scene/fantasy, instead of trying to force the "end goal" of orgasm. It comes naturally.

Some womanz can only get off from clit play, try that. Had an x that no amount of dick ever truly did it for her. It was annoying af desu cause just like i imagine giving head for 20 minutes sucks so does eating puss with a twitching dick.

Cut your nails and use the file, you don't want sharp edges.
Lie down on your back.
Place your left hand on your stomach with your fingers spread. The pinky should touch the edge of your panties, thumb pointing towards your face.
Slowly move your hands up, touching every part that feels good.
Your right hand should be placed on top of your pussy. Thumb to the right, fingers pointing straight down.
Go in with the middle finger, down and up like a hook. Using a slow rythmic upside down version of the "come here" motion with the finger. The left hand is still in play. If you haven't by now, slowly go up to grab your right tit and feel it.
It is time to get the ring finger in there too. Same rythmic motion, move them as one.
Increase speed and intensity, don't forget to breathe. The sensation as you grace the walls is all you need to think about.
Focus on as few things as possible, hold your breath as you get closer.
If you get there keep going.

I was told to learn how to masturbate to have better sex with my boyfriend and now I don’t even know the basics of the basics?

Maybe while rubbing myself as a kid but I can’t remember those anymore.

I’ve read that kind of instructions before but it always falls flat before getting to the ”until you cum” part. I don’t get what kind of magic is supposed to happen there.

I am a guy, I don't know what girls feel, I have just done as I described and they told me they came from that. It is probably a mental thing, as a guy, I know I need some form of mental stimulation or I can't cum either.
Like I can fuck a girl for hours if I am not focused.

Since women don't care much about visuals anyway maybe audio would work better. Like find some males on gonewildaudio.

So it all boils down to some magical brain thing I don’t know how to do.

Try erotic literature, such as the website Literotica. Unlike real porn you get to imagine everything, which tends to be sexier than just watching it.

Like this

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How do I know what to look for?

I skip the sex scenes in normal books because they’re boring to me.

Do you have any fetishes that you're aware of? If not, your best bet would be browsing through highly rated stuff and seeing if any of it sounds interesting to you.

Use it on your clit.

Get someone to help

I’ll occasionally browse some weird fetish things but nothing can really get me past a mild interest.

Finding a kink you're really into might help your problem. The ability to orgasm is very much a mental game, if you're not into whatever you're imagining or whatever porn you're consuming it's very difficult. So maybe explore some of the stuff that Literotica has to offer. Incest is a pretty popular fetish, even for people who have no family members they'd like to screw.

just watch this and learn

I meant more like stuff that you can only get in furry or hentai because it’s physically impossible in real life.

Those are fetishes too, technically, just not reasonably obtainable ones. Doesn't mean you can't imagine them.

Yeah, but even those can’t get me into any kind of exctacy (however that is written), just mildly interested.

So basically I was correct in my description of massaging the g spot, good to know.
I disagree that intercourse doesn't give women orgasms. Hitting that spot with your penis is hard because it is so much longer but you go in and out, hitting it all the time and it is not that hard to make women orgasm in my experience.
The end was a bit political, and maybe penis size statistics are wrong but the justification to go to war with Vietnam was not that they had small penises, where does she get this shit from?

Then you just have to find something that does. Surely there must be something kinky out there that gets your gears going.

Guy : you have physical problem see a urologist or meds for ED.

Lady: this is from guy who gets his wife off : penetration isn't often O inducing its clitoral stimulation and for some women not direct but circular or to side. Watch women masterbate to learn wat like -- if it's real she may flush, and you will see fell contractions esp taint just like guy, and some women get very sensitive can't be touched after a really good one (like head of your cock but their whole body).

Also womens emotional sttate more important ie love or deep affection and she has to be RELAXED you ladies are made so insecure about your bods from fed up culture. Learn to relax and fantasize about lover.

Well, where do I find more options? I’ve looked into pretty much every fetish thing I could find, asked around for more and found none.

Just keep consuming porn / erotica / whatever and you should pick up what fetishes you like over time. I established mine very early on and they've only gotten stronger over time.

Unless you're a guy, lol

You can have them teach you, it is far better and hot for both people.
There is no reason to pretend to be an expert when you are standing in front of one that should be willing to teach you.

I don’t want some professional masturbator watching me or telling me what to do.

Not her but in the same situation with my gf.
If she can't orgasm from a bullet vibrator is there a point in buying a stronger magic wand or womanizer sex toy or is it a matter of "if she's not cumming from a bullet upgrading the toy won't help" situation with women?

It sounds more like you have a very low libido, and trying to get off without arousal is like trying to swim without water. Libido differs greatly between people, but if you find that it interferes with your life it could be considered a pathology and you may want to seek more professional help than Jow Forums.
It's there any sexual trauma in your past? What's it like with your boyfriend? Do you get wet when you masturbate?

Toys aren't all created the same. Vibrating ones tend to desensitize you, so I recommend the womanizer or a similar toy. Wands can be great, or just make you itchy.

I am talking about your girlfriend.
She is an expert on how to make herself orgasm.

As far as I know I don’t have sexual trauma, I might have accidentally seen a porno when I was like 3 but I remember nothing about that and wouldn’t even know if mom hadn’t told me about it like 15 years later.

With him I try to get aroused, but never really do. I can get wet when I try to masturbate, but it never gives me any kind of an amazing thrill or some excitement that would build up to reach some sort of a peak or anything.

Isn’t there some kind of a pill I could take for this? Some kind of a medication to make me more sexual?

Wanna bet how wrong you are?

You guys are missing the point. This is a woman. She needs to get her oven hot before it gets going. You need something that triggers desire. The "I wish that where me" so to speak feeling.

Lmao just imagined op on a rose petals bed listening to sexy jazz music and just going at it on her clit

And I’m 100% not the type of a person who would do that kind of a thing. I don’t even use scented shampoo.

vibrators are shit, just rub your clit to dust. If that's too sensitive rub your mons or near the top of the hood

It’s not sensitive at all, not really any more than normal skin.

It depends on if you prefer inside the vagina or on the clitoris

I have a bullet vibrator and i use it on my clitoris, i rub that on it

Maybe a bunny vibrator can satisfy you cuz stimulate both (vagina and clitoris but more vagina than clitoris)

And also you should search for a porn catogory it can be something you never thought about, try everything, try to not overthinking cuz this may distract you from the pleasure, try some cool/warm/vibrating lube

Or you just need a real dick, if nothing works ask help to a gynecologist or psychologist

I hope you can have an orgasm cuz that fantastic sis

Don't even worry about penetration, insertion is to much trouble for not enough pay off.
Get in the mood, be relaxed, you can have some porn playing in the background if hearing moans turns you on and then just focus on the clit.

It could be as simple as a hormone imbalance, or something much more complex. Either way it sounds from what you've written much like an issue for a doctor than Jow Forums.

>Isn’t there some kind of a pill I could take for this? Some kind of a medication to make me more sexual?
Viagra actually works the same on women in the sense that it increases blood flow to sensitive areas but since all problems with women come from mental bullshit it's useless.

>all problems with women come from mental bullshit it's useless.
not remotely true

Yes... just give me your address. that should solve the problem..

>Turn off the lights, get some scented candles and put on some nice music.
and that's why I hate whamen

watch twitlight and shut the fuck up

>Maybe while rubbing myself as a kid but I can’t remember those anymore.

You've never experienced something in your life that turned you on? Like watching a specific guy talk or move? or a girl?

Dude honestly I don’t even like vibrators. It has to be really gentle clitoral stimulation combined with sexual fantasy which I usually read. Visual doesn’t do it for me because I have to be in the mental place for it

Go to literotica and read basic romance straight fics. Just keep looking around until you find something. I’m very specific so I’ve always known what I liked. For me I have to be in a room with the lights off for my imagination to really take hold lol. Just imagine yourself as the person in the fic and don’t touch yourself until you feel aroused while reading. Then it’ll help you when you do start touching yourself. But don’t go in for the vibrator first at all especially since you’ve apparently never done this before. Just lightly touch your legs and vulva like tickling yourself to get that sensation and to work up the nerves in that area. If you get wet then use that to touch your clit, but especially the area around the clit and through the hood depending on how your anatomy is. Just go really slow and touch yourself gently wherever it feels good and just go with the flow. It’s kind of hard to describe because it’s always been natural for me

You don’t have to have a weird fetish you can just masturbate to normal stories lol. Like romance stories or just vanilla sex descriptions. For me I have to be interested in it, start madturbating, and as my body gets more into it so does my mind. If I just read it while “sober” then i am less aroused then if I’ve already been masturbating. It’s a combo of physical and mental where you keep building up in arousal

How come?

Exhentai or for more crazy stuff try /d/ and maybe gurochan. Also if you like audio stuff check out gonewildaudio on reddit. Both male and female recordings on there with a wide variety of fetishes.
There was some adult fiction database too. Cant remember the name though.

Agree. Why I said ask them to masterbate in front of you.

But from what I've learned in my years prob limited experience is women are all LOT different from guys when comes to the O--but lot it has to do with relaxation and attraction. Guys: physical stimulation with minor mental attraction.

And dont pretend to be expert: what Im saying is based on being with average non-exciting level of woman, who ranged from frigid to OMG sexuality unleashed lol.