First background, then my question:

First background, then my question:

Background: I have OCD and anxiety which are triggered by irrational fears.One of those fears is having something go wrong with my living space (power outage, plumbing issues, etc.). I keep everything in meticulous working order. I use Draino once per week and take apart my own drains and hand clean them. I change light bulbs once per month or more, etc.

I live in an apartment and my landlord is responsible for all repairs. However, it would leave me peace of mind to have my own handyman on call even though I would/could never call them because my landlord technically has to take care of everything.

Question: I want to hire a handyman. I'd explain my situation - that I never need anything done but that it would easy my clinical anxiety. I'd want it to be official, I'd pay him but assure him he'd never have to do any work.

Realizing how crazy this sounds, how do I make this offer, how much do I pay and how often? Am I going to get laughed at?

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Draino corrodes the main sewer line residential connection to the city. If you've used more than one draino in six months, you can bet that your entire plumbing is about to blow up.

It'll fall apart and not work again for at least three months. City has to authorize a board meeting to address the needed permits to issue a work order. That alone takes 6-8 weeks.

In the meantime, you'll experience clogging, sewage back up, drain waste accumulation, etc.

Problems will likely begin in about 45 minutes, if you don't closely watch it happening, it'll progressively get worse.

Thank you for the honest information. This does not help my anxiety.

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I know I've been taken advantage of due to this too. Yeah, I'm going to look like an idiot or a scammer to anyone I ask.

Please snap your own neck you pile of lying shit.

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Isn't OCD something that has to do with short term memory?.
(i read it somewhere).
If i were you OP i'd seek help with this.
But you could start by having faith in plumbers and repairmen, you have to keep in mind that nothing bad will necessarily happen if something gets clogged/damaged.
Everyone has to deal with this in their life, things get worn down and stuff like drainage systems etc is not something that you maintain that often, and using draino ever week is way overkill.

I do have faith in them. That's why I want to hire one...

Also, it's irrational. Of course everyone has to deal with it. Something about me psychologically makes it into a life/death disaster if I get a clog. How is telling me that everyone has to deal with this supposed to be helpful?

Hey there OCD bro. My OCD is mild now but it used to be pretty severe. It made me fucking sick, mentally and physically, and got my ass in psychiatric hospitals and real hospitals multiple times.

My sincerest advice is to not get a handyman or whatever else, and to scale back the compulsions you're already doing. Give OCD an inch and it'll take a mile and it takes a long time to unfuck your brain. Every time you act out a compulsion, it builds more connections in your brain and tightens its grip on you. It will only get worse the more you feed into it. Maybe yours is slow growing but it'll still wreck your shit 5, 10 years from now. Cognitive behavioral therapy is 100% free and it saved my life. Meds can help make it more manageable so you can do CBT if you aren't already taking something. Get help.

I'm sorry if I sound a bit annoyed. I guess I'm just looking for an answer to my questions. I know I should seek psychological help but I'm not going to. I can't ask family and friends how I should approach hiring a handyman to do nothing. I can ask an anonymous message board though.

Realizing how crazy this sounds, how do I make this offer, how much do I pay and how often? Am I going to get laughed at? Do I go on Thumbtack and just start messaging people? Do I offer them 1 hour worth of their hourly rate per week or biweekly (it's worth at least as much to me to have them do this)?

I understand the reluctance to follow my thinking on this. If I told a handyman, he would probably respond the same. Thanks anyways.

I understand and empathize. I had to tell just about every kind of person imaginable about my OCD just to get through day-to-day life for years. People are much more accepting than you expect. It's embarrassing and they'll confused but they'll want to help you. I just don't think getting a handyman will do you any good in the long run.

You say you don't want to get help. Why is that?

I've been in CBT and taken SSRIs including a "dirty SSRI" which had a strong sedative effect for when I was at risk of doing self harm. It helped but it'll never go away.

I'm in a position now where this is one of the only things that still interrupts my life. I could beg a handyman to take my money.

Does anyone have any advice on this? If you were a handyman, how much would you charge how often?

In that case, get a handyman if you want one. I think you should go on Thumbtack or wherever and explain your situation to handymen for hire on there just like you did here. Find out how much you're willing and able to part with a month. Maybe $15? $30? It's up to you. If they say no, ask how much they'd want. You can make your own decisions. I really hope you get some peace of mind.

Dude, plumbers are open 24hours a day, just fuckin call him if anything breaks and hell be there in like two hours.

On another note, do you hear that funny sound? Sounds like an appliance is overheating, I think it’s about to blow.

They can't come - it's an apartment. I can't issue repairs through anyone other than the landlord. I'm basically paying someone to be on call and promising never to call.

Do you think they'd do this for that little?

If you never plan to call them, how does that relieve stress for you?

Can you ask the landlord for the plumbers number to put it on speed dial?

>Do you think they'd do this for that little?
Yeah, probably. It's free money, there's no reason not to. Try it out.

It's irrational. It's like I need to have some control in the process of getting repairs taken care of.

Thank you, I will!

I see. Call a plumber and propose a deal.

You would hate my car, im close to 310,000 miles. Ima drive it until it dies.

What I'm worried about is how to propose it. Don't you think I'll just get blown off? Or should I expect that and keep trying until something works?

Soooo you want to pay a couple 100 for a service call so a handyman can tell you to chill out and practice basic maintenance even though your landlord already foots the bill?

Suit yourself. Nothing too weird about it. Your handyman will probably be super nice considering you are handing him easy money buuuuut he also may find some minor things that will need to be dealt with in the far future. Stop pouring draino down your main line every month, you could be fucking up some PEX fittings!

He wouldn't be practicing basic maintenance because I couldn't technically hire him for that. It's more like having one I pay to be on call with the explicit understanding that I will not call.

It worked. I found a plumber this AM who is willing to do this for $150 a month. That will be expensive as I have other people I'd need besides (electrician, computer/IT, etc). But he explained that if the payments were going to be meaningful that was the least he could ask even though he acknowledged not actually having to work.

Thank you all for the advice.