Just moved into uni and I don't know how to cook. Literally don't even know how to cook pasta or fry an egg...

>pan
>Nice and hot
>Oil in
>Spread the oil
>Crack egg. In
>Salt and pepper to taste
>When the yolk seems solid enough to flip flip it unless you like em drippy
>Serve before you burn it

I always found people like you in college really funny. I was a total introverted nerd who just studied and played video games but even I could cook. I remember lots of people were just awful at anything related to cooking and they were all types of people from chads to nerds to stacies.

stop relying on your parents dipshit

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best fucking advice

My parents used to constantly berate me for failing and expected me to be always perfect

your parents sound retarded

also they won't do that now, so whi cares if you fail

Dude that shit is easy as fuck I did it at like 8 years old

Anyone can fry a fucking egg, you literally just put a little bit of oil on a pan and crack an egg onto it and wait until it's done.

I have been helping out with trivial things like cooking etc since I was a kid, it is a little late to complain they didn't do it then.
Cooking is so fucking simple, it doesn't take much to learn 7 dishes and then repeat those once a week. I know some people who just eat the same thing every day, it doesn't have to be confusing.
You have already eaten every day, so you know what food looks like.

I don't understand this, how can you not know how to cook? it's easy, especially these days where you can look anything up on youtube and watch a step by step video.

The only reason you "can't cook" is because of laziness, nothing else, it's not difficult

They got mad at me for bring a tv to college with me and my mother starting crying and saying I should be studying not watching tv and playing games

Nigga, if you're brainlet enough to get confused by fucking youtube tutorial with complete 100% guidance on how to cook basic food then wtf are you even studying at University?

do they think you study 24/7?
I'd be so glad to get away from them

Not him but just want to say that academic intelligence doesnt line up with common sense. I lived with 2 med students for a year and neither of them could figure out how to light a fire and I had to do it for them.

OP, you got a severe case of the dunning-krugers

>Watch YT videos about cooking
>Try it out
>If anything go wrong, correct it next time
>Repeat until success
It isn't hard, you just need to learn and get some experience with it.
Try doing some eggs types and carbonara, these are easy as fuck to do. If you are too desperate, do some shakes to keep you up.

If my dumb ass managed to make lasagna, chilli and stews at 14 then I'm pretty fucking sure you'll manage to do it while university-aged.

It's not rocket science, just follow the recipe closely and start small. There are so many videos, blogs and books out there just for teaching retards how to cook simple things.

>Lasagna
This is a good starter dinner. Just spend the extra money and buy the box with all the things and read the instructions on the back. There is no measurements, figuring out how to season shit... Just buy a pack of ground beef and a box. It is impossible to fuck up and you have enough for several days.
Freeze the rest and use them if the dinner of the day fucked up.

just starve to death you're not fit to survive

I'm 30 and still go to my mom for dinner. My house is only 20 minutes drive from her house.

If a tutorial on how to boil a medium cooked egg confuses you you should definitely stay out of college.

>>>ck
ask for basic shit, explain your situation

just follow a recipe

>put the ramen noodle brick in the coffee pot
>brew some hot water
>but the flavor pack(tm) in
>bone apple teeth

Look up some basic cooking methods and try to imitate what they do. But THE MOST important thing to remember with cooking is that there is no set way of doing things, so if in the end your food tastes alright then you haven't fucked up (even if you completely fucked up the recipe's formula).

No you were a lazy shit or they babied you too much

Look up mug recipes you can make a lot of shit

You should add salt when it's already boiling this way you save time

Some quick tips:
>never throw in water or frozen food into hot oil.
>frying oil DOUBLES in size when frying food so use an appropriately sized pot
>dont microwave aluminium or metal
>since youre a beginner cook, ALWAYS cook your food well done. Yes even your steaks. Everything. Chicken, pork, beef, fish, etc. Cook it for a long time on low heat, stirring, so it doesnt burn

How to make pasta:
>put water in a pot and add a bit of salt
>bring to boil
>add in pasta and stir immediately to avoid it from sticking.
>stir every 2 minutes.
>after 8 minutes pasta should be ready. Take one pasta bit and eat it. If its too hard, its not ready and needs more time
>keep boiling until soft
>when pasta is ready, drain the water.
>serve your pasta in a bowl and add your premade/precanned pasta sauce of choice
>want to upgrade sauce? White or red? Sprinkle some knorr's chicken stock powder + onion powder + garlic powder + chili powder and stir. Please note granulated garlic/onion and garlic/onion salt are not the same as the powders. Chili powder is NOT spicy and not the same thing as cayenne pepper, red pepper, or chili pepper flakes.

Dont know how to cook tortillas?
Put 3 in a ziplock bag and microwave it UNSEALED/UNZIPPED for 45 seconds

Also i recommend playing Cooking Mama series on nintendo ds + Cooking With Dog on youtube as a supplement. It wont be dishes you will cook but they will teach you cooking techniques