Hey, Jow Forums, I'm a 22 year old male. My current girlfriend is a girl I've liked for years and years. We've been fairly close friends for a long time and to make a long story short, I could see myself marrying her and starting a family with her one day. The problem is, I've only had one other girlfriend, who I haven't had sex with (we did grinding and oral and stuff but never penetration so I'm still a virgin, technically) She, on the other hand, has had many boyfriends and slept with them since she was in high school. This used to not bother me but recently I've been in a 'thought loop' of sorts where it just tends to come up. I imagine getting old and regretting that she is the only woman I slept with, and feeling like she was 'used' during her younger years before we were together. Is that just how the world works? I don't think her bodycount is anything crazy, It's just that If I had the same, I think I wouldn't have these insecure thoughts. I'm studying abroad right now and honestly it's like a buffet of international pussy. I'm not considering ending the relationship at all or cheating on her, fuck that. I'm just looking for a way to deal with these thoughts and stop having them.
Hey, Jow Forums, I'm a 22 year old male. My current girlfriend is a girl I've liked for years and years...
>I don't think her bodycount is anything crazy
Whatever you think her body county is, add a zero to the end of it and divide by two.
so if I think 5 it's more like 25? lmao who came up with this method
On one hand, though, I think I would be really happier with not knowing. I don't think I'll be asking her about it directly any time soon.
and why exactly you havent fucked her yet?
i dont know if marriage is you endgame but if it is then i want you to know that nobody is special. what i mean by that is there will always be someone out there that is wife material so if you want to break off and fuck around for a while then go ahead bud.
We've been together for two months and a couple days at this point, We have kissed a lot and had one night where i was kissing her chest and one night where we got totally naked and i made her cum by rubbing her pussy. we didn't have other times to get intimate, really. That night where i made her cum we could have had sex I'm sure as I had the house to myself for a week or so but we didn't want to rush anything. I'm happy we at least did something. Right now we're in different countries, waiting for winter break to see each other again
Nobody is special? I believe everyone is. And I know what you're gonna say 'oh then that defeats the whole purpose of being special'. Look man, every person you see, even just on the street, passing by, is a unique appearance in your life. I'm never going to meet a girl like her again and besides that, all the history we have together is irreplaceable for me. You can't just go looking for that kind of depth in somebody else. I want to give this relationship all I've got to make it work, so I'm putting it higher on my list of priorities than casual sex. Though, I have to admit, that's pretty easy to say but difficult to practice, as these thoughts of missing out and still being a virgin at 22 start to set in. I just want to stop having those thoughts and be completely okay with the situation again.
The men who don't stand on the sidelines idolizing mediocre pussy for years hoping they'll get sloppy seconds, or in your case 5 to 25+ men later.
i understand what you are saying when you say everyone is special and unique. you're right and i agree with you.
but at the same time i will also say that that while everyone is unique, there are many many people that can connect with you in a way that a women can. sure they might not be exactly the same but they all have potential to be deep and meaningful.
in other words, you might not get the same exact shade but boy there are a lot of shades out there to enjoy.
I wasn't standing on the sidelines idolizing anybody. I was fat up until like 20 and had self-confidence issues. I worked very hard to get to where I'm at now with fitness, career/education, my personal endeavors... I consider myself successful.
As I mentioned, I had one girlfriend before this, it's not like i was drooling over this current girl the whole time, that would have been retarded. I was doing my best to get girls, this is just how my life turned out.
That's funny, I was just saying this to someone yesterday, but more as a comforting thing to say to someone that's already broken up. Look man, I want to commit to this girl, I understand what you're saying but it's not really something I'm concerned with. If we do end up breaking up some day I'll have it in mind to be able to move on
alright so you're primarily looking for advice on how to not think about fucking girls you see when you're out and about? that's what it seems like.
if that is the case then i don't think you can get any better advice than lower your gaze and masturbate when you get home.
Well, it's not really that, I think I have enough restraint. it's my thoughts and inner insecurities that pose more of a problem for me. They're unpleseant and they're not helping me with this long distance shit at all. I don't wanna have to think about her having fucked other guys and experience the feeling of insecurity I have over it and the slight anxiety that one day might feel 'stuck' in the relationship... I'd just be on the metro here and suddenly I'd start thinking about it. Like, the fear of being in my 40s, she's sitting happily in a chair next to me and I'm looking out the window, thinking about all the pussy I never had. I guess in life you can't have everything...
i know you're adamant but i really want you to consider fucking around. it's important for men to experience different women so that they know what they like and don't like. if you have nothing to compare things to then you'll never know for sure. its much better to experiment so that when you finally settle down(if thats what you want) you'll have the confidence to say "i chose this girl because she serves me better than the others". failing and knowing is better than not failing and not knowing.
she's not special, just a reminder.
from what you've shared so far i can tell you that you are unfamiliar with women and from experience i will tell you that women have a learning curve. sure when the relationship is new everyone puts out their best foot forward and things are easy but later on things can get rocky.
i tell you this because, chances are, this relationship won't last until you're 40. shit it probably won't last for another year especially if its long distance. you are too inexperienced with women to make this last a lifetime. you will make mistakes, a lot of them and that is part of the learning process.
I know man, our chances are slim even if we get along so well and even if we know each other for so long... etc. The fucked up thing is, that kind of brings me comfort. It's like the opposite of what it should do. I've made mistakes in my prior relationship and I've learned from them but it was a totally different kind of girl (clumsy, dependent, my current gf is very independent, very busy and hard working, career oriented). I want to settle down yeah but i'm not whatsoever in a rush. I don't even know why I think about it.. Thanks, your input has been constructive and helpful.
im glad to have reached you, you are very welcome.
i dont think its fucked up for that to bring you comfort, i think thats healthy. it shows you have somewhat of an abundant mindset which is the mindset of seeking out greater opportunities instead of focusing your energy on maintaining what you have which would be thinking in scarcity.
if you ever want a shot at marrying a girl and creating a long, healthy marriage the only way to do it would be to be the best you can be, date a lot of women, learn the lessons they to teach and then heavily vet them once you're looking for a wife.
so many marriages end in divorce because men marry the first girl that spreads their legs for them. don't be a chump.
noted, significantly. thanks again and good luck to you
thanks. good night bud
>buffet of international pussy
fuck her relentlessly but don't settle for that used pussy
cushions are your friends during sex
public places are acceptable habitacles to have a fucc (in my experience)
IDK man, lurk r/TheRedPill or something
final bump, maybe I can get some more insight
You've been together for 2 months and are seriously thinking about marriage? I think I found the problem.
Yeah. If you can’t even deal with her having previous sexual partners and you non, its time to realize you’re not an adult, not ready for a relationship, specially not with her.
I can deal with it, it's just insecurity, it's like an annoying small voice. And it's not even that as much as it's me not having other sexual partners
I'm not seriously thinking about it like how it's gonna happen or anything, it's just that I've known this girl for so long and she's really the type to marry, I consider her a quality person. It's something that could happen eventually with us as our families also know each other, we're from the same town, her friends from there all know me, etc. I'm not rushing into it by any means but It cannot help but cross my mind that it's a possible outcome.
And until that voice is gone you should just stick to being single. Or find someone more suitable
frankly I don't think you understood my question or read the thread in too great detail but whatever