Fuck spiders

>finally move out of parent's house
>everything is going great
>except that there are spiders in my fucking house
I want to fucking die. I keep spraying insect repellent, but it seems like it doesn't fucking work since those cocksuckers keep appearing out of thin air.
I was so fucking happy until those pieces of shit came in to fuck my life up. I can't even sleep.

How do I keep spiders away from my home?

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Buy a cat, fly swatter also work pretty good against spiders

dude spiders eat the shit bugs dont kill em they are bros, but if you gotta just use a fly swatter is that so hard?

This. Spiders are based, they eat the other bugs and generally don't get up in your shit.

You don't get it. I'm afraid to death of spiders.
I had to spray them directly from a meter away and even then I was checking my surroundings every 2 seconds.
It's an extremely irrational fear but I can't help myself.

Get a cat. There are no bugs 4 feet and under in my house. I have two cats and those fuckers go ballistic over even a moth, they even kill scorpions. Pic related. I found it dead next to the entrance after it got bopped to death by a 7lb cat.

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Spiderphobes are such fags. Call a damn exterminator. Make sure they also treat for everything else too since you won't have the spiders to eat them. Hope you got the money.

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They will fuck off after you get settled. Get used to it. You are never more than a couple feet from a spider.

Dude im also terrified of spiders. My bf bought this $14 bug poison jug/pump spray combo from home depot. Once a week he sprays the perimeter of every noncarpeted room in the house and the perimeter of the outside of the house.

You can also get a professional to come and spray the house specifically for spiders but that costs $150 and then you can subscribe to a monthly spraying for $10.

Maybe a long wand on a vacuum

>How do I keep spiders away from my home?
There are better questions to ask. Very few people realize the amount of bugs they are surrounded by at all times. There are those who say the common household is home to more than a thousand species of insects including spiders. The interesting part, though, is what they do at night when people sleep and no one's really looking. But most people are not ready for this kind of truth, and sometimes it's "best" to try and not think about it. You should find very little about it in books or online. Why do children dream of a huge spider on-top-of-them and most just forget about this dream? Why did the egyptians worship some insects? What's up with science fiction stories (such as "The Matrix" movie) and spiders? Sometimes it's better to just try to let it go. I'll say this: Your fear of spiders is not irrational and you don't just get rid of them in the home. Most people simply try to cope, and the very very few get to learn to do what I did. About cats: Toxoplasma et al. I wouldn't have a cat or cats around me for anything.

user what the fuck are you on about. You should see a psychiatrist and get evaluated for schizophrenia.

Spiders are fucking cool. Went hiking last weekend and saw spider webs strategically placed in areas where the wind blows lots of insects into them. Smart fuckers, i respect them. Went on vacation a few months ago and rented out someone's air bnb and it was full of spiders. I didn't mind them at all.

Yeah well ok then, let's leave it at that. It's all satire here anyway, right? See if what I said about T. gondii is true, though.

spiders look creepy and gross but that's just superficial. they are fucking tiny compared to a human and are actually terrified of you and the huge vibrations you cause when you're strutting about.

most spiders won't even try to bite you even if you try to pinch them between your fingers, and those who do usually don't even have the power to puncture your skin. they hide and keep to themselves, feeding on asshole bugs that shamelessly buzz around your head, try to suck your blood and lay eggs in your food and trash

spider are frens

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Remember to report all spider posters

see a therapist since you are obsessed and can't control this irrational fear.

I bet it's not the only issue you have.

>pay a jew to fix this problem caused by jews
Good goy

yeah, all those jews causing mental disease because alcoholic fathers beat their children

I'm sure that in the absence of jews there would be no alcoholic fathers.

if op's dad would have been beating him for being a little fag he wouldn't be here posting about his fear of spiders would he?

the contrary would actually be accurate

That's not what i was implying. Jews created spiders.

no bro.. they used their vile magick to create war and misunderstanding between the human race and spiders

jews don't create, they steal

>insect repellent
>on spiders

You done fucked up big time OP. Insect repellent is basically just spider pheromones. It scares the insects away by making your place smell like a hungry horny spider. Now all the other horny spiders have come looking for a mate.

Or at least a nice place to lay their eggs.

>Or at least a nice place to lay their eggs.
SPOILER: spiders like laying their eggs in a warm, moist place. Some even lay them in live hosts and the hatchling spiders eat their way out.
Have fun, OP.

i'm also afraid of spiders, but they are all around you in varying sizes. this is just objective truth.

most spiders aren't a big deal and keep away from you. sometimes they accidentally cross your path. just shoo them away and they'll go.

>see a therapist since
stay away from fucking "therapy".
a fren.

>the contrary would actually be accurate
actually it wouldn't be.

>Some even lay them in live hosts
This one's a little closer

>most spiders aren't a big deal and keep away from you.
Not quite accurate