I've been dating this girl for about 5 months and it's been a pretty successful relationship thus far, only a few little spats here and there but I like her quite a lot, and she's head over heels about me. But I have a job opportunity right now that is my dream, and I'm going to take it, which will mean leaving the country in the next few months.
I haven't talked to her about it yet (other than dropping hints about other co-workers taking similar leaves or being transferred) and I kind of want to wait until next month after a vacation we had had planned together is over, but how do I go about telling her and breaking things off in a way that causes her the least amount of pain and resentment? I don't want her to lose faith in relationships going forward, I want her to be happy but it just can't be with me, I need to do this for myself. I was thinking about just making it seem like I'm being transferred against my will so she doesn't think I'm wanting to abandon her or something. Is there a better way to go about this?
So do you think I should bring it up asap and us end up canceling our vacation? We already kinda sank money into it and I mean, I still like her a lot, it'd be nice to make one more memory with her. My goal was to end things on a good note. I can see why this is a bad idea, but fuck me for being sentimental.
Break up, no lies. Tell her the truth, tell her it's your dream job and you REALLY want this. She has to understand, otherwise you telling her in a way making it seems like you have to do it is a lie and you know this OP. Don't do what some people do, just be honest.
Tell her you want her to be happy and you're sorry you can't be the guy to make it happen.
You can't have her move with you?
I mean I know it's a lie, but if it helps her sleep better at night and she can move forward with her life without feeling abandoned isn't that better?
Not an option unfortunately given the nature of my empyment and the transfer funding
How far do you have to move? Maybe there's still a way to make it work somehow?
I'd talk to her now. Waiting for after the vacation seems quite cruel, if I knew a guy would inevitably break up with me but held that news for months, I'd be hurt so much worse than if he had just broken up straight away. On that vacation you'll just build more memories for her that'll make it hurt more.
Just tell her what you said here. That it's your dream job, nothing to do with her, and you don't want her to lose hope for relationships in thee future. Just don't drag it on for too long because as soon as a girl understands it's a break up it all becomes bla bla bla and every word is painful.
It's been 5 months man. That's barely longer than the expiration date on the cheese in my fridge. That's a quarter way through a pack of Q tips, used daily. You haven't had a single valentine's day with her, nor a Christmas. This is not a big a deal as you think it is.
I'll be moving to a different country for 5 years. It's just still a really fresh relationship to the point where, I don't really feel ready to make a commitment to a long distance thing, much less marrying her and taking her with me. Had I been able to stay here and nurture it the story would be different, but this is something I feel I have to do and it's just unfortunate the timing lined up like this. That said, I guess I could tell her as soon as possible. Id be lying if I said I didn't wanna spend just a bit more time with her myself, but you're right, and like I said, I just don't want this to really hurt her. I'll be fine.
Like I said, I recognize this, I've come to terms with it. It's her feelings I'm worried about and she's fairly attached and in deep at this point. Not like I wasn't but I've detached a bit since finding out about the opportunity.
Please post sauce for the girl she’s 2 hot
OP here, I guess my main concerns were: 1. Waiting til after our planned trip or not. I feel like if I do it before, there will be more melancholy in cancelling the trip and never having had gone than there would be if we had a good memory together we can hold onto. But I guess that's just how I see these things
2. Telling the straight truth vs making it look like it's not really my choice. I just fear she will think she's not good enough and that I left because she wasn't enough to stay for. If I make it seem like it was out of my power it might be more bittersweet. Once again could just be my way of thinking projected here.
Wish I knew, just saved it from a thread a long time ago. Reverse search came up with nothing.
Why has the girl's pic been posted all around Jow Forums man? That shit ain't cool to do.
>there will be more melancholy in cancelling the trip and never having had gone than there would be if we had a good memory together we can hold onto when you're broken up and in pain you don't want to dwell on good moments because it hurts more. why create more bittersweet memories with someone you'll be trying to get over?
Whatever you tell her she'll end up doubting herself. Just tell the truth as soon as possible, and honestly as possible
>That shit ain't cool to do. ???
Yeah this is what I'm gathering. I think I'm just gonna wait until the whole thing (work thing) is a little more set in stone and in process, and then talk to her about it
I would trade every single thing I have in my life to have a good wife that loves me deeply.
Think about that....
>this girl Liar, there's a reverse search result from 2018 on a Russian site.
I wasn't talking about the girl in the picture retard. Lurk more
maybe talk to her about it, is there no option for her to come along?
>That qtpie >That Regular Show calendar behind her I want to marry her goddamit
Not unless we got married which honestly after only 5 months together I don't think I'm ready for. And even then it could complicate the move as it's a government job and spouses and shit are included in the location payments and shit