ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

I feel like every girl I'm trying to get to know before I date them, gets impatient and either assumes that if I don't fuck her instantly or ask her out within the first few encounters, she loses interest. But I just can't fuck someone I'm not sure about dating yet, thats why I try to befriend girls first, but it doesn't seem to work and I feel like I'm always missing my chance with them.

Is it possible to befriend girls, get to know them first, and THEN ask them out once I figure out if they're compatible with me or not? so far I feel like I have to speed up the process of getting to know them, have sex with them and chance that I'll like them. So far none of the girls I dated I ended up liking so I decided to take it slower now but that's been met with impatience and loss of interest, but I just can't do it otherwise, it feels like too much of a gamble and I don't want to waste time with some girl I barely like if I can spend that time on myself and self improvement

Seeing as yous broke up, there's instability between you two, and she doesn't want to be the one responsible if the puzzle falls apart again. I mean if you care for this chick, go ahead and swoon her once more, but relationships are a two way street.

Is there more "context" to the whole going to the theatre as friends thing?

Posted this in the earlier thread but I got a bit of an update
>get new gf
>lives with abusive ex because leasing
>told me they've barely interacted for months and that they were over
>seemed genuinely into me so I believed her
>2 weeks later she's been distant
>know her ex has been acting up because I'm in the picture now
>confront her, and she says she doesn't know what to feel about the situation anymore and felt uncomfortable when I call her my girlfriend and just feels out of her element
>(to be fair, I once said that she was pretty much my gf and she replied "pretty much?" so I just call her my girlfriend)
Would I be an asshole for just breaking up with her now for not being 100% serious with me?

>get new gf
>lives with abusive ex because leasing
You are one gullible nigga

No, dump her

>Is there more "context" to the whole going to the theatre as friends thing?
That's basically the extent of it, she also mentioned that she wanted space this week and so I found it weird that she wanted to meet up this early on. I probably wouldn't have called it off, if she hadn't added the "as friends" bit at the end.
I followed your advice, called her up and declined the invitation and told her that we shouldn't meet right now, as she hasn't taken enough time to make up her mind yet. She sent me a couple of texts afterwards, basically telling me that I'm right and apologizing for breaking her own "rules".

What? Are you for real? There is not a single correct option here other than to break up with her. You're being toyed with, user. Cut it off as soon as possible, and next time don't be so fucking gullible.

No offence, but how old are you? To me 2 weeks seem like a comically short amount of time for a relationship to get to the boyfriend-girlfriend stage. If she's acting distant, chances are you're being needy. Overall I agree with the other posters, though - if she's still living with her ex, by dating her, you're basically begging for drama.

Thanks anons. I guess I just needed the affirmation. She's a good person, and I don't think she is doing it intentionally, but yeah the only choice her is to just dump her. I see her in 3 hours. Wish me luck.

26, but we're both undergrads. I don't think I'm being needy, as I haven't been emotionally demanding of her whatsoever. I just wanted to spend time with her.
She was the one who kinda pushed me into calling her my girlfriend, as I mentioned, and it was only to her. To everybody else I just say we're dating.

>She was the one who kinda pushed me into calling her my girlfriend
After 2 weeks? I don't know the specifics, but that seems really fucking weird dude.

Sounds like she's using you as an exit strategy bruv

Eh, we're young. Still in that in between phase where you don't really instantly become bf/gf like kids but don't exactly do the whole dating for a month or two before attaching the label. I just let it slide.

I don't mind helping her get out, because I'm genuinely an empathetic person and want to help her, but I'm not going to wait around if she's being back-and-forth about it.

how long should you date someone roughly, to have that talk about where its going and what to even call this relationship?

Not really applicable to me, but this girl I've been friends with, was upset that that I didn't want to be with her, and all of a sudden she brings up this new guy she's been seeing for 3 weeks, and says they're in a "relationship" but I feel like she only says that to make me jealous. She also started hanging out with him around me when I'm in college, possibly to get some sort of reaction out of me, but after 2 days of that and me ignoring it, she seemed to have stopped so it kind of confirms my suspicions. Still, maybe I'm just imagining things but the way she said "I'm in a relationship" was sort of forced out, like she tried to "win" in the end once I told her I don't want to be with her and she didn't seem too happy about it, she never really got rejected because she always got her way because she's very attractive and desperate guys always gave her what she wanted.

If you didn't wanna get with her why do you even care

because she used to be a friend that I don't want to resent, but she keeps giving me reasons to do so and this is among the biggest ones. Its for my peace of mind, if she isn't playing any games then fine, we can both move on, but if she is, then I'm afraid it might come back later and it'll just give me reasons to think badly of her which isn't what I want, but she's making it difficult. Its the little ambiguous things she does that get to me. Like sitting behind me in the canteen when we clearly established not to pay attention to each other anymore and move on with our lives. She could've sat anywhere else, but she decided to sit right next to me. This one is among the biggest ones so I'm trying to see if it could be true or not, just for my own curiosity I suppose

I don't go out clubbing any more and don't really hang around in groups of people so i'm finding it increasingly difficult to meet new girls.

I'm not virgin or anything, I have slept with 7 people but over the space of 7 years... Had a failed relationship which has killed off my motivation and self confidence, she just cheated on me all the way through and I had fallen for her.

How do I go about meeting new girls without being creepy and dropping random messages on Facebook?

Tinder also sucks unless you look like a greek god.

So maybe she's not over it and trying to get a reaction out of you. So what? Yeah you could resent her for it but on the flip side you could also see it as just a knee jerk reaction by someone a little clouded by their rejected feelings for you. Cut her a little slack. She's not doing much else to you and you're ignoring it which I think is the right thing to do but why bother putting energy into overthinking it?

>Cut her a little slack.
I'm trying to, I'm doing all we agreed on once we stopped being friends but she isn't doing it and acts like there is still a chance for something despite us agreeing there isn't.

And she did much more to cause me to be this upset over it. She claimed she loved me and said a lot of things to imply it and pretty much acted like my gf until I had to tell her "no". Then she said she's already with someone anyway, that she never loved me, that she fucked some random guys and claims its my fault, that I made her do it and turn into a slut like that. She goes around with her friend acting like they don't notice me but clearly stick around where I am and I'm the only one trying to be civilized about this and not react in any way. I'm trying to cut her a "little slack" but at the same time, why does she make it so difficult? and the fact she might've already been with someone in case I don't work out is just insulting, despite me not wanting to be with her. What if I wanted to be with her and she already had a back up guy that she already called her "boyfriend"? I'd feel like a lousy 2nd option. But if she just said that to spite me then at least I'll have the peace of mind that she just said it out of spite and it actually isn't the case, which would be easier for me to come to terms with and ignore, right now it just feels insulting and like she succeeded getting into my head

Oook that's a lot of relevant info that drastically changes my opinion here
This bitch be crazy. That screams insecurity and inability to handle rejection to a much further extent than is healthy. And she sounds kinda gross to go off on you like that. I think you should just tell her to fuck off and you probably have every right to resent her at this point. This is no way to behave towards someone just because they don't wanna date you.

Get a huge boner. I'm talking a big, veiny, throbbing bonedog

She might be crazy, idk, for the 2 years I've known her I've never seen this side ofher, but at the same time like I said, I don't think anyone ever rejected her because she is very seductive and pretty much exclusively goes for fuckbois. I'm the only "normal" guy that got caught up in all this and I was able to make a call that didn't involve thinking with my dick and that must've confused her, like "how come he doesn't want to be with me??" so all of a sudden, all the things she did and said didn't have any implications and she actually never loved me according to her, despite her saying "I actually do love you" lol just so she can come out on top at the end of all this and all the mistakes she's made to "get over me" were my fault, but she didn't love me as she claims, so whats to get over? its things like this that make me think she just isn't handling the whole thing well so I'm trying not to be resentful and just leave this alone with dignity, but she just makes it very hard, like despite closure, she still thinks there is something she can do to get my attention, and somehow being spiteful is meant to either bring me closer to her, or make me feel upset over the whole thing, which I don't get, because like she said, she never loved me and we used to be friends, so hows that a way to treat a friend? at least I'm trying to look at it through the lens of our friendship so I'm not being a dick to her, but I don't know how she sees it and what she actually wants and getting in my head like that isn't helping. I think its just best to ignore it, otherwise she'll get what she wants I suppose

I used to think I'm good friends with one of my female co-workers, we used to text quite a lot, like almost all day and meet each other outside of work. Now she has stopped texting me first, meaning we do see each other and make small talk, but she's in a different department and we don't talk much. I'm not sure if I should initiate because I don't know if she wants to talk and I don't want to make it weird.

I passed over 3 other girls to be with this one girl and she's going through some unfortunate things and wants to stop seeing me on account of religion. What do? I want to have a more open chat with her because I was keeping things from her, which she probably took the wrong way. Any similar experiences?

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>and don't really hang around in groups of people
So start. You're asking for advice, but before even hearing a response, you've set up a list of things you don't/won't do. It sounds like you already know exactly which avenues to pursue but are too chickenshit to actually do it, user.
>Had a failed relationship which has killed off my motivation and self confidence
Start improving your body/mind/image, I've found that lifting weights is a good shortcut. Confidence is built pro-actively, so start doing something.

According to this girl I know, a guy is overly jealous and its a deal breaker if he doesn't like the fact she might sleep with her male friends in the same bed but not have sex, or act like they're her boyfriend without the actual kissing or fucking and if her bf isn't comfortable with her holding hands with other men, then he's overly jealous.

Is she right? and girls can do that to other guy friends they have if she's already in a relationship? or should girls be more reserved than that and not treat their friends like she implies is 'ok' to do?

Lol fuck no what a whore. You don't get into beds with other men if you have a partner. The only exception is a younger by far male relative, maybe a cousin or younger sibling, and there aren't enough beds or she's caring for them.

she's a thot. very skewed mindset from years of being a whore

Had a convo with a girl on tinder, some pretty empty but fun chit chat, at some point asked her if she was up for grabbing drinks.
She was like
>We'll see
Me
>We'll see? lol
Her
>Who's gonna pay for those drinks I wonder?

So, I wanna go on a date, but this obviously sets off some alarm bells.
Should I say something like "My my, are you only here for free drinks?" or will that make me seem cheap?

I read couple of days ago somewhere in these "ask opposite gender" threads that girls are always pampered from a young age but what exactly is said to these girls during upbringing?

nope, that's a hoe hoe hoe

I mean, she probably never WILL fuck those other men, cause they are obviously the biggest beta orbiters on the planet, but that is still a form of mild intimacy and I would not be okay with that, nor tolerate it.
Tell her to cut the shit and set some boundaries, otherwise break up.

Run away, she'll get the food and drinks from you, then say something like "I'm tired, I wanna go home, can you get me an uber?" And you'll he hanging with your dick in your hand.

she said that when she was with my friend, she didn't want to be in the same bed with me because he was overly jealous. Then when she broke up with him and started implying we should sleep together, she said its what friends do and she was only being friendly with me and that I had no reason to believe she was hitting on me. Any sane guy would think she wants to fuck, especially when she acts like she's already your girlfriend. After I "rejected" her offer, she ended up fucking some random guys at the club, 4 to be exact in a space of 3 months. Now i'm starting to question whether she is a slut and I did the right thing but not wanting to be friends with her anymore, or if she was actually right and I have the wrong idea of what is and what isn't allowed in friendships/relationships.

as an extra question, is it a good idea to stay friends, but just friends with a slut? because I wouldn't want to fuck her, but she's ok as a person I guess, she just keeps implying and suggesting too much and I never know what she actually wants from me

She's damaged and you are ultimately still better off spending time with better people.

She wants attention. And validation. She slept in that bed with you because she knew at the very least it was a form of validation.

Now she might also have rape fantasies. If that is the case she wants you to take her. If you want to see if that is the case, put your hand around her side and on the middle of her belly. Then kiss her neck. Keep a gap between her ass and your dick. And dont grab that tit.

Gauge her response. If she seems appauled, well she really just wanted validation. And if that is the case, all you did was touch her stomach and give her a peck on a nonsexual area.

You need to be real honest with yourself about how she is getting into bed with you. Dont see what you want to see. See it for what it is. Is it her idea? Is there a chance she does it to save money? Is she too drunk to go home? All of these could mean the situation is more pragmatic than lustful for her.

This might not be worth the risk user. Mother fucker in competitive arcade games just got meetooed for this shit. He was sharing hotel rooms like nerds tend to do. And he was cupping tits with these other gamers. Maybe they wanted, maybe they didn't. But he is getting accused of molesting them.

Think about your boundaries and your needs. Dont you deserve someone that at best has a rape fantasy? Dont you deserve someone that will communicate clearly?

There's no such thing as girls that like hairy toes / feet, right? Safe to shave that shit?

My GF seems complete unable to acknowledge when I look like shit. She'll be hugging me and trying to kiss me even when I haven't showered in 30 hours and my face/hair are oily. Why is this? She never has a bad thing to say about how I look and it sort of feels a bit cheap to get constant praise for zero effort.

Unless that shit is ridiculously long I don't think anyone gives a fuck user. It's normal.

Oh I know, I just don't like how it looks and want to make sure I can shave it without any protest. You never know with girls, it seems like half of them want their men to be varying levels of hairy.

Just shave it off if it bothers you.
You shouldn't do it just because of girls though, that's a terrible mindset.
That being said, I don't think there is any girl who longs for a man with hairy feet. At best, they'd be indifferent, at worst she probably thinks it's kinda weird.

Not doing it just for girls, doing it because I don't personally like it.

So shave it.

I really prefer my guys to keep their body hair as it is, like don't shave your legs or pits or even genitals, but that's me.
Umm that's a normal reaction. I shared a bed with a male friend once and while nothing sexual happened, it was fucking weird and I'd never do it again, especially while in a relationship, that's very disrespectful and strange. I'd be just as upset if my bf slept in the same bed as a girl even if according to him nothing happened. Just sleep on the couch or the floor, tf

>I really prefer my guys to keep their body hair as it is, like don't shave your legs or pits or even genitals, but that's me.
Out of curiosity, how do you feel about trimmed? I don't mind having some hair but a full bush can be a nightmare in the summer.

Am I right to be upset with someone for them thinking I care to much?

I don't really like talking to people all that much so if I find someone I like talking to they hold pretty high status in my life. If something is wrong I want to check in with them.
I got in a fight with a friend of mine and said I would give her space. Every few days i sent a "just checking in, hope you're doing well" message.
After a week and a half of this I asked if we could meet in person and just talk yo which she agreed. She then proceeded to tell me how annoying it was that I couldn't go so long without texting her (she never told me to stop messaging her, mind you) and that it was pissing her off.

I feel like I'm being villianized for wanting to know how someone is doing while they were going through a ton of negative stuff in their life. I get it, we had a fight, but friends should try to patch that shut up. I haven't sent her anything since the meeting in pefson since she said she wanted to be the one to send the next message, and every day I get a bit more pissed off that she's so offended that I actually give a fuck. Am I over reacting or in the right to be upset here?

If you say you'll give someone space, maybe try actually giving them space.
Don't smother people. It's not only exhausting, it grows resentment.

Convince me I should ask out this girl. I've never asked a girl out before because it's scary. What if she has a boyfriend and goes home and tells him that zome loser tried to ask her out? What if she rejects me in public and people nearby laugh? What if she calls me a creep? I'm not attractive so the chances she says yes are slim to none. And even in some hypothetical fantasy land if she said yes, what then? I'm neurotic as fuck and just barely holding together my own mental health, how could I take care of the emotional needs of someone else. Is it really worth all that risk? Or should I just remain a gfless virgin and hope that a decade from now I'm older and have my life together and girls are "hitting the wall" and lowering their standards?

I'm 35, so take this as you will, but a hello and good bye hug is ok and shopping and dinner is ok, preferably if it's in a bigger group. Also have to pay attention to inclusion. Does the male friend try to include the SO. If he does, that's a good sign.

Sleeping in the same bed is kind of lame. Male friend should sack up and go sleep on the couch

You fucked her real good and she is basking in the glow of it.

is it even possible to be just friends with girls?

I like this girl in my class, but we're not compatible so I'm being casual around her and not making much of it and not pursuing her or flirting with her. Sometimes we message about college related stuff, but I get a vibe like she thinks I'm hitting on her sometimes, even if its her that initiates. When I message with guy friends its cool, we can talk forever and its always the same kind of reception and we just part ways when we're done talking. With girls it always feels like there are expectations and each conversation isn't just a conversation but something to gain out of. Like this girl now, we're just talking and all of a sudden I get a one word reply. I feel like she might not be happy talking to me but I've known her for like what? almost 3 years now? she even initiates some of the conversations and talks about nothing but it sometimes ends the way it does. Never had that with my guy friends so idk what the story is with her or if she's expecting anything despite being established as friends from the beginning. I feel like i have to cut conversations short on purpose not to come across as flirty or with expectations but it feels awkward

I asked her "where would i be sleeping?" and she said she only has a single bed so we'll have to squeeze in together. I assumed she doesn't have a couch in her new place so I went to her house one day and there was a couch in her living room, but she insisted on the bed for "some reason". I knew what it was but she denies it and says its just what friends do

Didn't read the word vomit, but yes. But only if neither of you are significantly atteacted to each other.

How common is it for women to like men's asses? When I was young I was sexually abused a lot via people groping my ass. I worry that if someone I'm dating suddenly goes for a frisky grab I might react very negatively out of instinct.

Yeah, if you're both ugly.

It's been years since I talked to my ex. She left me for another guy and then another girl. And even to this day I find her to be as pretty as when I first met her. She said we could be friends but it really didn't feel that way. I didn't want to give the wrong intention so I left her alone. This made her upset, she told me to just look her in the eyes and say hello, which I did. She still wasn't satisfied and started to make passive-aggressive remarks. I lost my respect for her then and just ignored her.

It's been years and we've gotten older and more mature. Don't get me wrong, I DO NOT want her back. I just don't like the conflict and perhaps things can be talked out. Do you think it's a good idea to contact her again and talk things out?

she has a bf and I'm not interested, but I get a weird feeling like one of us is taking it the wrong way (the "word vomit" would explain it further) we're both on the same attractiveness scale according to her. How will this end? am I expecting any hiccups in our friendship? I'm content the way things are

She does this even when we haven't fucked in a while. Though maybe I'm just really good at it I don't fucking know.

What is there to talk out?

Girls how am I supposed to approach you? Said hello to this girl I like from one of my classes and she just looked at me weird
Oh well

Just fucking approach it the same way you would a guy ffs.

Update
I shot her the "Are you only here for the free drinks" line
And she literally responded
"Haha you got me" with that monkey that holds it's eyes shut.
She is not being serious, is she?

Well, just being up front with how I feel about the situation and that I listened but don't appreciate what happened. Perhaps she'll be more mature about it this time.

Why I shouldn't ask girl if she loves/likes me if we are well-acquainted?

I won't really be able to leave the house for a year. Is there any way I can find a girl online? How would I make a relationship like that work and how do I get a girl interested?

I know some girls that go to clubs/pubs and they know guys will approach them and get them a drink, once they do those girls just ditch those guys. Its a way to get free drinks, maybe she's one of them. If you don't give a fuck about her and want to just fuck her then imply something, like "whats in it for me?" and she'll either identify herself as a slut or she'll confirm that she's not interested.

Not even the biggest slut will overtly call herself a slut.
It's all about the thinly veiled plausible deniability.

Most guys dont approach guys.

Or just talk to her like you used to and not drop a bunch of shit on her head.

Here is what you do. You write out all this shit in your head. All of it. Craft this letter for days if you want.

Then dont send it to her. Talk to her normally. If stuff goes somewhere then maybe mention 3 key points.

That's a load shit. How do people make friends at college? How do normal adults manage to actually start conversations with each other? Fucking autist.

How do I gather the balls to talk to this one girl in college? I dont have any excuses to talk to her, and shes always going around with her group of friends.
For more context i dont even know her name, and I only have one class with her.
Like, I'm not sure, I could try sitting next to her and strike up conversation but, wouldn't that be weird? Like that's the only scenario I can think about where it isnt really creepy
Aniways sorry for all the text could appreciate some help

of course she won't come out and say "I'm a slut" but her reaction will imply whether she is or not. If you ask whats in this for you, she might hint at fucking you = slut because she'd do it for a free drink, if she'll fuck around and dance around the question then she's just looking for validation in which case, you've nothing to gain here so just ditch

Why do you want to talk to her specifically? If your class isn't too big you might be able to check her out on normiebook, and if you friend some other people in your class you could just friend her too and mention that you're in the same class. Just a suggestion.

I don't mind. I just find it weird when a guy shaves his armpits or legs clean like a woman. Trimming your crotch is fine though, especially for that reason.

Btw ultimately I'm never gonna say anything to a guy about his body hair because he can do what he wants with it, just stating my preference

It happens organically. Like there in a class together and sit next to each other and eventually talk about something related to the class. Then eventually they might talk about something outside of class. And if these conversations go well eventually they might set up a study group or ask if they want to hang out.

Most guys do not cold approach other guys to hang out.

>Btw ultimately I'm never gonna say anything to a guy about his body hair because he can do what he wants with it
Honestly I'd prefer if you did, as long as you're clear that it's not mandatory. If I plan to be with a woman for a long time I want to please her in any ways I can.

She's just really adorable and cute looking, the way she moves and expresses herself is also really charming.
Dont really know anyone in this class but I could give it a shot befriending her or her group of friends.
Dont have any social media either do you think it's worth a shot making an Instagram or Facebook or something?

Facebook is good if you're not concerned about privacy. Just add a profile pic and the course you're doing on your profile and friend everyone you recognize in your class.

>dating girl 3 months
>meet every other weekend
>spend hours on hours together each time
>get to the cuddling and kissing phase
>we chat every day
>when i visit she is more distant
>doesnt realy prioritize time to meet me

Is it over, or should i call and ask for an explanation? What should i say in that case? Mention the good times we had and ask what changed?

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by 3 months and with that much contact surely you'd have fucked or at least gone to kissing and cuddling in the first month

i mean i took a long while and i dont have a track record of success but when i did finally go on dates with a girl i was kissing her in the first few

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I mean she basically is ghosting me, not starting chats, not reaching out, etc

I must have not made myself clear, yes, we were cuddling and kissing, but she basically cut contact after getting more distant

In my experience girls do that when they're too cowardly to confront you to break up. If you're not too desperate (and you shouldn't be IMO if she's treating you like this) just try ghosting her back for a while and see what happens.

How long has it been?

>or should i call and ask for an explanation? What should i say in that case? Mention the good times we had and ask what changed?

No what you do is stay chill my man.

Look, conversations and relationship is like a tennis game. You sent her a message, you wait for her to swing the ball back to your court.

>should i call and ask for an explanation?

No and no. Her actions speak louder than anything she could ever say. Let time, and her, with a little patience on your end, prove where you stand.

You're happy to have her, and just as happy if you dont!

We met on saturday, because she texted me after we spent some time on friday.
She said she had to leave early though, so she left after a few hours.

Then i sent here a snap on synday, and no contact since then.

I actually feel it is kinda my fault too, because lately i rarely initiated chats online, she mostly did, cause i took it a bit for granted, and i think that kinda hurt her, she indirectly said that.

>Then i sent here a snap on synday, and no contact since then.

Ah, another classic case.

Be patient and wait for the ball to come back to your court.

Until then, keep doing as you have done without her, which is hopefully to get ahead career wise or develop yourself.

>I actually feel it is kinda my fault too,

Afaik you did nothing wrong. Don't fall for that "how come you never call me trap".

Girls will do 80% of the intiation.

>3 months in
>only starting to kiss and cuddle
I realize not everyone is into kissing on the first date (I am), but what the hell are you doing man?
3 months in you should be having sex multiple times a week.

Not him but logistics is an issue especially for younger ppl.

I didn’t fuck my gf one year in and that’s when she finally go into high school and can skip classes

I wouldn't even dream of considering someone my "gf" if we hadn't even had sex.
Yeah, if you are like 12 then that's different, but this is an 18+ website.

Well that’s you

I was able to get by with phone sex nudes and comfy pillow talks. Made sex with very primal and satisfying. It lasted up to three years