I'm 18, I'm anxious loser, I have problems with concentration, I am socially awkward, I overthink everything...

lmao rich for any particular reason? If that's the case, you could get into the financial sector somehow, work your way up. Use your desire to be rich as a way to fuel your ambition.

But it doesnt fix my provlema

You need direction in life, something to work towards. I can't tell you what that is, you have to find out through trial and error, and discovery.

Problems*

What can I do towards being rich now? I'm 18 and I'm in highschool

Bump

>Mom criticized me often
I see. was she cold and detached too?

Kid I’m 29 and your OP sounds like where I am right now.

The closest thing to a passion I had was being homeless on a motorcycle. It was exciting that my environment changed every day. When you go to sleep at night in a strange place, you wake up in an even stranger place as people start to show up and you see what was hidden by night.

Man it was the only thing I ever enjoyed besides my GF...who left because her bitch ass abusive psycho mom.

I had a vision that I am convinced is from God. But I kind of am in denial because it looks like my GF and I believe there’s no way it’s her. But I keep praying that whatever I’m doing in life and living for will be revealed to me. It’s all I have.

Yes she was
At some time she stopped criticize me that much, but she does it sometimes now (she especially tell me to study to get to good college and find lucrative job)
But what she is always saying is STUDY AND GET GOOD GRADES
I think particulary because of this now I have no passion and interests, because I was always concerned about the grades
In my country grade system is from 1 to 5, 5 is the best and when I was younger if I got grade under 5 my mom was mad at me
Now when I write an exam and I know I won't get 5, I feel so guilty and my self esteem fall, and when I'm shown with the results of exam, I feel so anxious about coming come and telling my mother that I got grade under 5, even 4.5

Cuz you aren’t living for yourself. I quit my job because I felt miserable showing up when they wanted and being “trapped” for 48 hours a week. I shouldn’t kill myself for a living.

It’s been two weeks and I’m still depressed but at least I’m not harming myself any more and breaking shit.

Next time somebody asks you out, forget whatever you’re doing and just go. Even if it’s an event you don’t like, FUCK mom, do what you want

>In my country grade system is from 1 to 5, 5 is the best and when I was you
see. that's an impossible standard. "either perfect or failure".
this might sound good on paper. but actually it is not. many people fear failure so hard, they stop trying. they realize that it won't be perfect anyway, so why bother. can you relate to this?
but that's just the tip of the iceberg. do you think your mother is controlling? does she think you exist just to work for her? remember times when you were in pain. did she express empathy, was she warm and caring at these times?

I don't tell my mom about my problems
When I get grade 4.5, she asks me why I didn't study, it's so frustrating, I've been studying, I just made one mistake in one exercise...

this is extreme.
do you think your mother has ever been helpful to you? like, did she ever NOT criticize you when you had a problem? also, do you think she is controlling?

I think she may be a little controlling, she is helpful many times
I think she criticize me much less than when I was younger, she stopped when I was about 16-17

>she is helpful many times
how exactly? did she help with work, or emotionally?
does she feel understanding? do you think she cares how you feel?

Bump

also, what about your father?

He is pussy whipped and has no friends
All he do is going to work, going home, watching tv, sometimes doing the shopping
He has no hobbies and, for me, he isnt manly

do you think mother is dominated by him?
also, you didn't say: was your mother ever warm? do you think she ever feels guilt, or is she the kind of "I'm always right person"?

I think that my father is dominated by my mother
She is the kind of "I am always right"
What does mean warm?

>warm
means close, caring, affective, friendly (but for real, not fake)
it is opposite of cold and distant

I have bad news. you mother might be a psychopath.
it means she thinks of you as her object, her property, her slave, almost like an animal. she doesn't care about your feelings and might harm you and feel no remorse for this. she has no conscience or empathy or guilt. she lies all the time to make you feel worse and do what she wants. she will also control your whole life, for her benefit.
it's hard to explain because I guess English is not your first language. but you can read on psychopathy online.
what you should do is be a man. be strong and independent. never trust her criticism.

I wish I moved... last year in this house, maybe my life will change when I move

if you can, definitely do. escape your mother. don't let her have control over you.
she says bad things to you to give you low self-esteem. this way, she can control you and make you please her.
think for yourself. you're a good student, better than most. you're smart. you mother lies that you're not good enough to make you weaker. she simply fears you're growing up and not easy to control anymore.
you have anxiety because she always criticizes you, and you learned to never tell anyone about your problems and feelings, so you're afraid of people. you're afraid they will reject and criticize you.
that is not true. get good friends, talk about your problems. they won't criticize you and will help you with anxiety and esteem.

Thanks for help, I will do it
Btw what do yiu think about CBD oil?

also you can read this article psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-human-equation/201307/the-psychopathic-mother . maybe it will help you understand your mother's behavior better. if you can read books, read one called Psychopath Free, pretty good one.
>CBD oil
I don't know much about it, but you're healing the symptoms, not the cause. can't say much about it though.