Hi, this might seem stupid but I am seeking real help.
I hate myself so much, I can't describe it.
I'm your normal joe, job, gf, somewhat normal life..
I've always been tormented by something.
When I was young I wanted to be a girl, however, transgenderism did not appeal to me, I would not be a real girl by birth, simply a mutilated being.
I still am somewhat of a feminine guy, not to the extreme, soft face, I had a rhinoplasty to make my nose smaller, I am above average as a guy, but still..
Yeeaaarrrsss ago, I saw Katya Lischina pop out, and I always was fascinated with how perfect she is physically.
It sickens me that I am what I am. The haircuts she's using don't fit on me, I'm a guy, different facial structure, body (I'm larger due to being male) etc.
Why can't I be pretty like her? Why did I have to be what I am..it's so unfair...as usual I'm told hey take what life gave you, but I can't cope like that, it's shit..
I try everything, I'm just ugly with long hair, I'm not like her, I'll never be like her, I can't be her, I can't resemble her..and she's so pretty.
Maybe this is hilarious to some (or a ton) of you out there, but my suffering is legitimate.
This One thing I wish I was, I can't be.
I don't want 10 million dollars, I just wish I was different. Please help me find coping methods? I beg of you.