I respect this board and their general opinions on various issues so I’ll ask here. This is my background
>Grow up with single mom who would regularly beat me
>Imagine my dad was a famous sports star or hero. Mom would regularly tell me that I ruined her life.
>When I was 14 my mom tells me that I was conceived from rape and my dad is in prison as a serial rapist.
>Feel emotional crushed and start self harming. Eventually stop though and years go by
>Cannot have sex with a woman because I’m disgusted by my own feelings of arousal
>Can’t be friends with anyone because I’m an awful person
>Snap at someone while clubbing one time and he beat me up. This is where the worst of it happens
>I start self harming again but through constantly trying to cause fights.
>Worst when I’m drinking. I was in a bar and suddenly I got hit with this terrible feeling and my first instinct was that I wanted someone to beat me to death.
>I start fighting the doorman and he almost kills me.
I’ve been beaten up 4 times now and I can’t get drunk anymore because I keep doing this. Physical pain is the only thing that makes me feel better inside. I went my moms house last month and during an argument I gave her and knife and told her to cut me. I’m a fucking mess and I don’t know what to do.
How do I deal with self hatred Jow Forums?
stop drinking
Clean your room
grow the fuck up
/Thread
go on fluffybooru, and realize that no matter how shitty you feel, at least your not torturing cute little fluffies.
user, you gotta grow up. And I don't at all mean that in a condescending way. I mean you have to leave the old you in the past and create a new you for the future. If you still live with your mother or don't have a job, start there. Make yourself useful. Once you have something to wake up and work for, abandon your vice. Smoking, drinking, cutting, all of the above, quit it. Cold turkey. Make yourself functional. Start developing some hobbies in your free time, read some books, start a garden, workout. Make yourself knowledgeable. From there build relationships. Join a club, get a girl, find a group. Reach out. Make yourself sociable. You're obviously in a rough place but you are smart enough to reach out.
Three years ago i was living in my mom's basement with no car, no job, no school. I'm on my own with two cars, 2 jobs, and some great friends. Sometimes it feels like you aren't going forwards. That's okay, but whatever you do, don't go back.
shit blog faggit
As this user said don't go back. Don't lose hope.
Your mom's a whore and a liar
Like physical pain? Work out pussy.
this could be actually helpful
you sound retarded. post more of the blonde bitch.
I just chose to smoke kindbud It makes me a nicer person. My friend matched my step to walk next to me and I tripped his leg and put him in a choke hold to brake his neck then my gf brought me out of it don't go to jail it will change you.
You're a bastard
Your mom made you a masochist, congrats. You can control it and live a decent life or let it destroy you.
Your mom did give you the gift of life even if she didn't give you love. You can still love yourself and if you need pain to release your stress that's ok. Maybe look into BDSM or working out as a more constructive way of getting it out than baiting random people into fighting you. Know that you're awesome because you're different and that's cool. Because you had a tougher upbringing there are things in life you'll notice that other people never will. Hope you get your happiness and peace and pride in yourself, whoever you are.
>1 post by this ID
>memeflag
fucking nupol
it's not your fault your father raped your mother, neither is your fault your mom projected her incompetence on you. Now it IS your fault not being able to forgive your parents and yourself.
If I could give you an advice, it is pray to God with all your heart and accept Jesus as your savior... I'm not even joking, you have nothing to lose
You need Jesus in your life
youtube.com
Livesteam suicide but post like here first.
Kek. Kys neanderthal
no one is going to love you unless you love yourself
>my mom tells me that I was conceived from rape and my dad is in prison as a serial rapist.
Your mom is abusing you—first physically, then emotionally. She is a psycho bitch that cannot accept responsibility for her choices. You are her punching bag for her failures.
That "conceived from rape from a rapist" tale is bullshit. The real story is that she probably drove off a boyfriend with her crazy BS.
You need to leave for your sanity. Get healthy, quit the booze. Get therapy if you can. You need to heal and grow. Get a job and a life.
You don't have a mother, she is just someone who happened to give birth to you.
the answer to self hatred is self forgiveness .
Screen shot this post and live by it. You'll be doing fine in no time. Forget where you came from and where you are now. Focus on where you need to be.
Get professional help - Jow Forums can't help you with this.
Talk to a counselor, ideally a licensed social worker not a psychiatrist. True to stop drinking but that’s a symptom not a cause.
nice sagely advice user's.
This.
Read the Gospel of Mathew. I'm not telling you to read the whole thing. Just that one. Give the Church a chance. There are 1 billion catholics in the world. Give God a chance. God is love. Everything comes from love.
Yes except for the therapy. Therapy is dangerous dont do it. They will just milk you for money. Get baptised. Get a priest. God has not abandoned us.
Find a therapist.
Thanks JP!
>bucko pilled
OP WATCH
THIS FOR YOU
youtu.be
It sound like you might be bipolar. You can find ways to manage it, I don't think most people are successful. Either way you need to figure it out, your feelings and risky behavior are likely to not go away on their own
There's a list of things you could do; become a masochist and livestream it on porn sites, join the military and become an infantryman, get a hobby, become a noise musician and broadcast your inner terror to indie hipsters and make hundreds and thousands of dollars. Come the fuck on, OP. I mean really, do something with your life. That art project though would be wonderful in 2019, something like Whitehouse or Sutcliffe Jügend. This time you have actual suffering unlike these queers and you could become the next edgy opening act. Maybe pull a couple of stunts like beat the shit of your audience or drive a car into the concert/arena and try to run over people while the hiss and distortion is running in the background, you know that 'music' of yours? You seem to waste alot of time and money so why not spend it doing that shit?
Rise above yourself, your parents and especially the inner voices. They need to be extinguished.
> Physical pain is the only thing that makes me feel better inside
hire a dominatrix
Are you going to repost this all day?
dude, don't let them win. they want you to kill yourself, they want you to die.
don't let them win
Wow yeah... my life is so awesome I literally can't even give you advice bro. Uhhh, I hope things get better. Sorry about your parents. Also you sound a lot like a guy I know who was raised by his mother after his dad killed himself by overdose. Pretty crazy shit.
You're alright leaf
1 post by this id
didz
Here's what you do, user. First, cut all ties with that cunt mother of yours and disown her completely. It's not your fault that she's your mom, and literally everyone on the planet has several shitty ancestors; yours just happens to be a little closer in time.
You aren't her, and you aren't your dad. You are you.
Second, quit thinking about it. Just let it all the fuck go and start thinking about the future life you want to live then proceed to do exactly that.
Letting Go by David R Hawkings.
wasted
mums can be whores don't live up to the lack of expectation she has of you the only way to win this culture war is to surpass the standards
Cut yourself on your thigh. Seems to work with most people
Read Jung user, he's your only hope.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Take the leadpill user
>Mom would regularly tell me that I ruined her life.
>When I was 14 my mom tells me that I was conceived from rape and my dad is in prison as a serial rapist.
Your mom is a cunt. Rape or not, she shouldn't have told you that. Hate her, not yourself.
>Cannot have sex with a woman because I’m disgusted by my own feelings of arousal
Stop being disgusted by your feelings, but also stop having random sex.
>Can’t be friends with anyone because I’m an awful person
Are you an awful person though? Then stop being one.
Also stop drinking.
that's a tough break in life man. growing up no one filled your heart with love, only hate, and that's why it's all you got. people can spend their whole life like that, and it's bad.
now look at what do have, which is important: you know why you're fucked up. most people dont.
so here's my advice to you:
remember that we are creatures of habit. our whole personality is nothing but a cluster of habits. start working on new ones. clean you room. work out, even at home. act friendly to people, you'll be surprised how well some of them respond to it. it might sound stupid, but listen to positive affirmations videos, to NLP yourself. good luck dude.
youtube.com
Go to bed Kyle..
Wow I expected something a lot more freudian, but this almost seems somewhat genuine.
Good on you, moishe!
unironically seek professional help. stop with the self harm :( i myself had a lot of suppressed anger that i took out in the gym and made myself into something better over several years. find a challenging hobby or passion to occupy your mind.
wash your penis
some of the stories are pretty good
Accept your rape genes and rape some roastie and go and live with poppa in the can.
Shiatsu. body psychotherapy.
If you take any drugs, stop. I was an alcoholic/pothead from 18-24 and stopping that made me feel better about life. I still have a beer at the weekend but I gave up the fiend life.
Find some decent friends and a nice woman. Don't go looking for people in clubs because 93.7% of them are heathens. Go to places where wholesome people would go; library, museum, etc.
Find yourself a hobby. If you like fighting then join a boxing gym or something, they'll give you some life lessons, too.
Glib, horrible advice.
>I respect this board and their general opinions on various issues so I’ll ask here
This is the most recent of your long list of mistakes. Get help, seriously. Tell all this to a doctor and go from there. If you keep drinking, go to AA and make friends.
I obsess over single digit IQ thots and their rancid blacked cunts.
Become a man. In all sense of the word.
How are you doing friend? I have found Jow Forums is genuinely one of the more caring boards when asking for advice.
Source?
Turn that self hatred into hatred for your whore of a mom. Your mom rode the cock carousel and now has to deal with the consequences of being a whore. Its not your fault that women cant raise kids its the jews. So find 1-2 things to focus your hate on and live the rest of your life in peace.
One tip though because your mom is such a fuck up dont get married. Your ability to choose women will be shit and you will likely get divorce raped if you marry.
Stop all alcohol and drugs. Stay away from your mom. Find a Christian counselor (even if you're not Christian; this ensures your therapist won't be an sjw, Jew, feminist, etc.)
You cannot change who your parents are or the circumstances that brought you into this world. Repeat this over and over until you believe it. Good luck user.
Have sex.
It is, but it's also full of smartarses and boomer-tier advice. You can't fix serious mental issues just by lifting and 'bro, just grow up'.
You need hugs
>Convinced from rape
>I'm mentally ill
>Please help me perceived evil group of Neo-Nazis
>meme flag
Sick bait JIDF, I think you guys are starting to get it honestly.
faggot
Like most complex problems the answer is simply to go to a professional whose job it is to deal with these issues. First visit your GP and explain the problems you're having and the self harm, they'll recommend the best course of action.
Therapists have a generally good track record of helping patients that both acknowledge they have a problem and want to put some effort into fixing themselves, a good therapist can help you deal with past trauma and teach you ways to cope in future.
Also the cutting thing is down to an imbalance of reward chemicals in your brain, you're not responding to positive stimuli with the proper response and SSRIs can help massively with that. They help the brain adjust so when those reward chemicals are generated that the brain responds to them normally, and things that would make the average person feel good will start to make you feel good, which lifts depression quite rapidly.
yikes what an insufferable faggot
I don't think anyone can fix someones life with any advice. It takes continual support though. Not very easy on an anonymous imageboard.
True.
>It is, but it's also full of smartarses and boomer-tier advice. You can't fix serious mental issues just by lifting and 'bro, just grow up'.
Also this. The way to best think about this is that if you had a problem with the engine of your car, you wouldn't come to Jow Forums, you'd goto a mechanic because a mechanic is a professional at fixing cars. Same thing for mental and physical health, go and see your damn GP that's what they're there for. If you don't have one then get one, they're the first point of contact for referrals to specialists.
Nice get.
Yeah, it's not like psychiatrists and psychologists are always helpful, but asking random strangers or even friends is unlikely to lead anywhere. Friends and family are often useless too. If they weren't, one would probably have fewer problems to begin with.
Chop your penis off, works well for my m8.
Also if you feel anger you can redirect it on weak peoples around you.
You fucked up your mental development so you're detracted for life anyway, your material consciousness will always be a total mess.
Time to welcome your divine self for the rest of your life.
Fap
Great advice. My moms also a manipulative whore. Karmas taking care of her though so thats cool :^)
>When I was 14 my mom tells me that I was conceived from rape and my dad is in prison as a serial rapist.
with proofs?
This is just sad. Idk what to tell you op, just try to lay off the drinking. It's probably the worst thing you can do, try get really engrossed in a hobby or even vidya if you can.
>1 post by this id
never mind, sage in all fields bois
>ywn have a gf that looks as perfect as this
why even live?
Find a clinical psychologist who's a male.
Jesus loves you. Find Christ.
Train MMA
As long as you’re above ground it’s a good day. Take everything one step at a time and make goals for yourself. Start small, like getting out of bed before noon and making it, keeping your space clean, maintaining a grooming standard. Small victories pave the way to bigger ones, success breads success. You’ll make it fren, we will all make it.
Go train MMA, you will be ok