I'm a "normie incel". Meaning I have friends, a social life, go to parties and clubs, but I am still a kissless dateless handholdless virgin. How do i deal with this? Having to witness literally ALL of my friends making out with girls, going back to their rooms to fuck with girls, and dating girls, is absolutely soul crushing when I cannot even come close to doing any of those things.
I'm a "normie incel". Meaning I have friends, a social life, go to parties and clubs...
Alright here we go. I love these posts.
user how many girls have you asked out in the last year?
user you have to actually go out of your comfort zone and ask to get dates and get a gf.
>but a-user all my friends do it so effortlessly without asking them out directly...I shouldn’t have to do that
/thread, you’re hopeless.
Do you feel like girls don't even consider you sexually? It's how I feel. It's weird because even when you remove personality via dating apps it's still the same.
Why don't you just ask one of your friends to set you up with one of their single friends?
Well can you talk to women? Learn to read them and move at the slightest hint of attraction, learn to get physical. Also take rejection well, don't get angry, understand women are people too and they like attention, talk to them about literally wathever, make sure they know you're interested in them.
Not op, but I asked out a bunch through dating apps. And one girl I know irl. Only two girls accepted this year.
Yes, I have asked out no girls. And yes, no girls show any signs of interest in me, and thats why i dont ask out any girls. Now can you tell me the solution to this problem please?
Yeah, I feel like girls just treat me as completely and totally sexually invisible. They will have long and extensive conversations with me without showing even a modicum of sexual interest in me.
Because I'm scared my friends would think I was pathetic if I asked them to do such a thing.
I can talk to women socially, befriend them, make jokes with them and make them laugh, but I cannot under any circumstances flirt with them or ask them out.
user last time you made this thread we gave you loads of good advice but you refuse to actually work on it.
You just want a girl to literally fall into your fall with absolutely no effort on your part.
>Because I'm scared my friends would think I was pathetic if I asked them to do such a thing.
Do it and if they think you're pathetic, honestly get new friends. You can't be that hideous that no one in your social circles'd want to get to know you.
>I can talk to women socially, befriend them, make jokes with them and make them laugh, but I cannot under any circumstances flirt with them or ask them out.
I guarantee you that there's been a time or several when one has wanted you to ask her and you didn't.
No, I just literally want a girl to show any indication at all that she might be interested in me. I'm willing to make whatever self improvements are necessary to make that happen. But no matter what I do, literally no girls seem interested in me romantically or sexually at all. It's just like I'm sexually invisible. They won't even acknowledge me as a sexual being.
If a girl wanted me to ask her out, why on earth wouldn't she just flirt with me or something in order to get me to do that? It makes no sense for a girl to like me, and yet show ZERO signs of liking me at all.
Do you think we were born like this? Socialized poorly?
I have a sister and no problem talking to girls. I'm not the most charismatic, but I can at least be normal. My dad is pretty autistic, much more than me, maybe cause I never saw them flirt?
There's just some spark I don't have. I could roll up in the nicest BMW, Rolex watch and I'd just look out of place. People think some accessory will help them with girls, and for some it does. But it's like I'm missing the fundamentals. Granted I did have girls show interest in the past and was too pussy and stupid to make a move. Simple things like sitting next to me, or talking to me.
>If a girl wanted me to ask her out, why on earth wouldn't she just flirt with me or something in order to get me to do that? It makes no sense for a girl to like me, and yet show ZERO signs of liking me at all.
Nigga I guarantee she has and you've just been oblivious to it because girls are retarded and think they're being unsubtle when they're not. 'Hhurr I laughed for a second that's enough to let him know I'm interested' and bullshit like that.
You would be a supreme gentleman with a BMW and Rolex watch, the girls will love it
Sometimes I think that I am cursed by god, because no girls will ever view me as sexually or romantically attractive, and even getting a simple first date from a girl is totally impossible for me. It just doesn't make sense to live the life that I have lived and do the things that I have done, and STILL end up a kissless dateless handholdless virgin at 23. I struggle to come up with even one logical reason for why this has happened to me. There are hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of men out there who have not even put in a tenth of the effort as I have, and yet they still end up effortlessly getting sexual interest and dates from women.
No, nothing you're saying makes any sense at all.
Can no one tell me why I’m still an incel? I’m really getting seriously depressed about this. It’s as if nothing I try works.
Are you fat? How does this even happen. Just get fucked up and fuck someone yeah they might be below your standards but this complex will be gone.
No I’m not even close to being fat.
I drink alcohol very regularly and have also tried cocaine and weed in social situations, and yet still no girl has ever shown even one bit of interest in me as a potential partner. I literally do not understand what I’m doing wrong. Literally EVERY guy I know can get at least a couple girls to kiss or date him. But for me it’s like literally no girl regardless of how attractive she is will even consider me.
Fuck an ugly girl and use her a practice for a gf
Not OP but yes. I dont even exist in the eyes of women.
You have to squeeze you’re balls with you’re bare hands and go in and ask a female out with words and actions, inaction is the exact reason why this is effecting you negatively, you want sex/a gf, go in and do the actions required. Males do almost all the heavy lifting in social settings.
I wouldn't recommend that
You can lower your standards a little but don't try and fuck a girl you don't find attractive. Keep some dignity
I used to be like OP and I managed to get out of it without having to fuck ugly girls
Besides, just because a girl is ugly doesn't mean she's easier. I would argue the opposite, actually. Ugly girls are usually bitter, annoying and bitchy, whereas girls who know they're attractive are usually way cooler and easy-going.
If a girl wanted an easy fuck, do you think she'd rather go with Chad or incel ?
But is that really what every man does? It seems like every other man gets flirted with, and then asks out the girl after being flirted with
The last 100 times you mean. This fuckface makes this same thread every day and refuses to listen to advice.
Because no one tells me what I'm actually supposed to DO. Like what is it that I'm supposed to do to get over my fear of rejection? You can't just say "ask out girls" because I literally physically cannot do that, even if a girl literally TELLS me she likes me to my face, I still find the idea of asking her out too daunting and can't bring myself to do it because I second guess her interest. I second guess it to the point that I lie on Jow Forums and say no girls show signs of interest in me. In reality SOME girls show signs of interest but they are really really vague about it and they still refuse to make a first move on me, and I'm too anxious and inexperienced to initiate things myself.
You have 2 choices. Either you ask girls out or you never get a date. Don't complain if you refuse to do the one and only thing that you need to do.
Do you literally not have any advice as to HOW I am supposed to ask out girls when I have this fear? Like literally how am I supposed to do it when the fear is so intense that it feels actually impossible? Don't say "just do it", because that's dumb and isn't actually advice.
Well then give up and stop making these threads because you are never going to get a magic answer to fix your shit. Go ask a therapist or something.
Liar. Everyone tells you what to do. Yet you pretend nobody did. You are a pathological liar.
I asked a therapist, several in fact, and they literally just don't have any answers to my problem that are helpful. I had 6 different therapists over several years/ages of my life and literally all of them could only offer advice like "well you have to be bold and ask girls despite your fear" basically. They didn't give me any actual techniques for how to practically reduce my fear of asking out girls. No one can tell me what I'm actually supposed to DO. I just get vague and airy advice from literally everyone.
No, no one tells me what to do.
The only advice I ever receive is
>ask out some girls
>kiss the girls who say they are interested in you
>just do it despite your fear
But those arent actually practical things I can DO about my fear. What I need is advice on actually how the fuck I am supposed to get over these extreme fears of rejection, and fear of fucking up and doing things wrong. Like how the fuck am I supposed to go in and kiss a girl when I literally physically do not know how to kiss?
Its not vague and airy advice in any way shape or form. It is LITERALLY exactly what you need to do. You don't want to do it that's fine. Just stop bothering us about it.
Okay but you're being overly literal and simplistic is what I'm saying. Telling me "just ask out girls" is like telling a depressed person "you must stop being sad". Like yes that is literally what they must do, but you missed out a billion fucking steps that would actually tell them what THEY can DO about it.
>user how many girls have you asked out in the last year?
Where do I meet girls to ask out? Not OP but in his exact same situation.
Literally everywhere except your room. Just today I talked to women at the bus stop, on the bus and in the grocery store. 3 different women I didn't know. Just have to dive strait in and do it even if it makes you uncomfortable at first. Women like talking to men just as much as men like talking to women.
Look OP, from the way you talk I honestly think the best thing for you to do is just get yourself piss drunk one night and use the alcohol to get you over the edge of telling a girl that you like her. After you do it once, even if she rejects you, it gets easier.
Thanks user. I just feel weird talking to random people. Just today I took the train to the art museum and saw some cute girls, but I didn't think they'd want some skinny guy to bother them.
Next time I'll strike up a conversation with one.
No its more like telling a person with depression to take their anti-depressants.
Here's a hard truth for you. If you can't even manage to ask a girl out on a date then you will NEVER be able to maintain a relationship. You think its going to be easy? Getting the date IS the easy part. What comes after is much harder and scarier. You think fear of rejection is bad? What are you going to do when one wrong move could cause her to dump you? You would be petrified, but you can't afford to be because being scared will cause her to dump you. Its like if someone is afraid of water. Getting in the swimming pool if asking a girl on a date. Getting dropped in the middle of the ocean is having a girlfriend. If you can't do the first step you certainly can't do the next step.
You sure you even want a girlfriend?
>but I didn't think they'd want some skinny guy to bother them.
They will make it very clear if they do not want to talk to you. Even if they don't want to talk to you then you only bothered them for like 30 seconds and they won't even remember an hour later.
>create tinder account
>message girls who match you
Literally that simple. But you will only make excuses.
>Males do almost all the heavy lifting in social settings.
Not OP but I'd rather remain alone. Not every guy is capable of this.
Okay OP you want me to tell me what to actually DO? I will.
Go to a bar. Tonight. Around 10pm, preferably a bar you like and feel comfortable in.
Get to the counter. Ask for a pint of beer or whatever drink you wanna have. I would even advise you to pick something without alcohol, because alcohol isn't healthy and you won't grow as much from the experience if you are partially influenced by the alcohol, but honestly I always pick something with alcohol too, it makes you a little more comfortable already.
Just stay at the bar and enjoy your drink. Like, actually enjoy it. Don't stare at your shoes or your phone like a moron, just look around and enjoy the atmosphere of the bar. Look at people. See anyone that seems interesting? Male or female. Just someone that seems nice. The idea is to get used to socialize, so walking up to a guy first is a pretty good way to build confidence if you're too scared to talk to girls.
Just talk to these people. Say whatever. It's a bar, people talk to each other, they're probably already a little drunk. Try to lie as little as possible.
Okay now do the same thing with a chick you find attractive. Especially if there was eye contact with her. That's the signal. Talk with her, let the conversation flow. Then obviously there's all kinds of scenario possible but you either wanna invite her to your place if you want to fuck her right away, or at least take her number if there was something nice between you two.
That's the gist of it. I just did that Monday night, and I brought a cutie back to my place.
>b-but I can't go to a bar ALONE! It's pathetic!
No one cares. It's less pathetic than crying about it on Jow Forums
>I can't do ALL that!
Babystep the shit out of this. That's what I did. I wanted to learn that "skill" of going to a bar and meet people, so the first two nights I just focused on going out alone and being comfortable with it. The third time was Monday night and it was great. And I'm pretty much an incel normie too (1/2)
(2/2) except I grew some balls.
>BUT WHAT DO I SAY
Just random shit. I hate small talk too, but it's the way to go at first. What do you do, what music do you like, etc.
My biggest advice is, try lying as little as possible. Lying about yourself makes you really uncomfortable. If someone asks you "why are you by yourself in a bar" don't make up some bullshit excuse, you just tell them you wanted to chill in your favorite bar and talk to people. Hell, tell them you're usually pretty awkward so you're trying to make yourself better at socializing. They'll probably find that interesting and inspirational, and be cool about it. Make up some bullshit excuse about your friends being in the bathroom and you'll look like a pathetic loser. I know "be yourself" and "just be confident bro" are memes at this point, but they're good memes. Do things without hiding and be proud of whatever you achieve and people will like you for that. They might not necessarily all want to blow you dick for it, but at least they won't find you sad and pathetic.
Not much else to say, the thing is make up your own path to get to your goal. Life isn't a videogame, there's no secret walkthrough to guide you through it, if you want something you gotta pick the most direct path to it. You usually know what the path is, you just don't have the balls (yet) to do it.
The fear goes away pretty quickly once you take action. It's really scary before doing it, but once you're in that bar talking to nice people, all by yourself like a grown man, it's really fun and you feel good for having the balls. And you feel stupid for being so scared of this time about something so simple and enjoyable.
We're talking about fucking girls user, this isn't school homework. No one is gonna give you a bad grade if you fuck this up at first, just try and have some fun.
Babystep this shit. They'll be drunk. No one cares if you look kinda awkward at first. Everyone is awkward.
>user how many girls have you asked out in the last year?
He probably approaches a ton but still gets rejected or ostracized. Not to mention asking out an uninterested party (even if you're not aware of it) is an unwanted advance, which is sexual harassment.
Fucking gay psyops. Stop telling guys they have no hope with women and should turn gay.
Not OP but even piss drunk there is a mental barrier that stops me from pursuing these things. I can joke with friends but actually flirting and talking to women is a no go. I cant understand how normal guys can just talk to them. Its completely alien to me. And I'm not even a virgin due to some extreme luck earlier in my life.
The bars I frequent are full of small groups of people talking. No one approaches anyone.
I go to clubs all the time, drink alcohol regularly, and even tried cocaine, but nothing works. I can talk to women just fine but I cannot bring myself to flirt with them or to go in for a kiss if they're flirting with me
No I've never asked a girl out, so consequently I've never even been rejected
Same for me, except I can talk to women in regular social settings
If they talk to me first I'm okay with some smalltalk. But that well dries up real fast and then I dont know what to say anymore. I never talk first to a woman in a social setting though.
Do ecstacy and go to club you want to fuck girls at that point and will be confident as fuck atleast it works for me but im not as sperg as you
The point of flirting is to gauge sexual interest. If you’re just joking around, no girl is going to get seriously offended but her response will indicate if she’s interested. You have to come off as sexual to be perceived as sexual. If you act like a bland cardboard box no girl is going to view you sexually.
So? Most people go out in groups. Going out by yourself is not frequent, no. The girl I fucked monday night wasn't by herself either, she was with one dude (that was actually hitting on her pretty hard) and another girl. I started talking to the guy first because he seemed nice, and then I just hit it off with the girl I ended up sleeping with.
If no one approaches anyone, maybe it could feel like a nice surprise for one of these groups that someone actually tried to SOCIALIZE in a BAR, which is kind of the purpose of a bar. Most people like meeting new people.
Just because "no one approaches anyone" doesn't mean that it's frowned upon, it just means no one has the balls to actually do it. Be that guy who had the balls, user.
You say that as if something is supposed to magically happen by itself.
None of this stuff is gonna make you get laid by itself, it's just a more suitable environment to take action.
You're being a victim, because you know exactly the method but refuse to apply it. Like you're waiting that some girl will one day have the balls you don't have to approach you and do all the work. Do you really want to land a girlfriend who took all the steps while you just let her? Don't you want to be "The Man"?
I'm not even trying to insult you, I've been exactly there not so long ago and I'm trying to show you it doesn't take that much to stop that cycle, you just gotta take action
I feel like I'm talking like those dumb PUA "self-improvement" gurus, but I guess there's some truth to it
>If a girl wanted me to ask her out, why on earth wouldn't she just flirt with me or something in order to get me to do that? It makes no sense for a girl to like me, and yet show ZERO signs of liking me at all.
Do you even realize the irony and the hypocrysy of what you're saying?
Maybe a lot of girls felt the same way about you, and wondered why you didn't just flirt with them or ask them out.
>Why isn't user showing any indication at all that he's interested in me? It's like I'm invisible or something, he barely looks me in the eyes or even say "hi", he just looks at his phone and pretends I'm not here
Mate you need to just ask out girls, it's not hard. If you're not feeling confident enough then start going to the gym and lifting weights, it will make you feel way better.
If you're normal, you should be able to find a girl. Maybe find a slightly more dorky girl or something. Point is, you will be able to find a girl. Do you try chatting to girls when you're out with your friends at parties? You absolutely SHOULD be. I was like you, my friends got way more girls than I did, but I did talk to girls that interested me, and I did end up getting with some girls. Just talk to girls nigga, it's not fucking hard!
I think we all have an internal sense of girls that we think we could get with. Some girls you'll think "nah that girl is not like me, we're different sorts of people, she'd get with completely different guys to me". But then other girls you'll be like "yeah this girl is nerdy about [X] subject that I am as well, or at least we have more in common, so I reckon I can get with her".
Obviously don't be the sort of creepy dude who is like "but you and I are both interested in [X], therefore you have to like me!" - no. You have to impress that girl with what you do in life and who you are. Do you do exercise? You should. Gym or sport, your choice. These things will improve you and improve your chances with women. Or you could be in a band, or you could have a decent job and be making good money. You've got to have a reason why girls would be into you, though.
Do it man, it's not hard.
I'm in my 30s and my friends, all male btw, are settled down or in my position. We dont meet much anymore and if we do we just get wasted and shoot the shit since we dont see each other that often. I feel it's too late to pick up the skills needed to interact with females in a romantic way. I guess I could work on myself first since I believe my self esteem and confidence are pretty low. In kind of the black sheep in my group of friends when it comes to success in life.
>You say that as if something is supposed to magically happen by itself.
No but i do expect that if I try actively to put myself out there and make myself physically attractive, at least SOME girls should show signs of interest in me.
Yes but I'm a kissless dateless handholdless virgin, the vast majority of girls - if not literally all girls that I meet in my life at least - are not. So they dont have to worry about signs of interest as much as I do.
>Do you try chatting to girls when you're out with your friends at parties?
Yes but they just act friendly and platonic towards me
>Do you do exercise? You should. Gym or sport, your choice.
Yeah, I exercise and play sport. No, it hasn't helped me attract women at all.
A girl could unzip your pants and suck your dick and you would find a way to say it means she is not showing interest. You are a pathological liar and mentally ill.
>No but i do expect that if I try actively to put myself out there and make myself physically attractive, at least SOME girls should show signs of interest in me.
You are deluded into thinking they aren't interested.
It doesn't matter you fucking bitch, ASK GIRLS OUT.
If they aren't interested they'll let you know.
its your personality
>No I've never asked a girl out
then how the fuck do you expect to get any action? you're clearly not attractive so girls aren't gonna fall into your lap, do some grafting like the rest of us
Again, you're being a victim and blaming others for your own problems. First of all that's already not very attractive, and it kind of show the type of personality you have, and how girls might perceive you. Take some responsibility for your life, for fuck's sake. You want something? Work hard at it. Work against your own fears. Fucking look at your fear of talking to girls and tell it to fuck off, you'll just do it anyways, even though everything in your body and your mind tells you not to. Take it as a hidden challenge from your mind to do it. If you start seeing fear like hidden challenges you're supposed to face, you're gonna feel way better about yourself. I actually look for the moments in life where I feel scared of something, because it makes me think "oh, that's a new challenge, let's try this"
Or stay afraid for the rest of your life and never improve, I don't really care in the end
I've already replied way too much ITT and I don't even know why I keep trying but it's kind of entertaining/interesting I guess
But OP do you realize you don't even have to wait for a "sign", just fucking ask her out if you want to see her.
"Signs" are pretty fucking subjective. There are guys who see signs everywhere even when there aren't any, and there are people (like you, I'm guessing) who even if a girl were very obvious about how attractive she finds you, would still not be totally convinced, because you're insecure and paranoid.
Guess what, the guys who see signs everywhere still get laid a lot more than guys who refuse to take any action because the girl isn't being obvious enough
I'm sorry to break it to you, but no, girls will likely NEVER be absolutely obvious about how attractive they find you. It's just not how they function. I've seen it happen like once and it happened on one of my friends who's like a 10/10.
I'm maybe somewhere around 8/10, I know girls find me attractive and I've dated some really good looking girls, and yet it never happened to me either.
Also, girls aren't attracted the same way guys are. For us, looks are the number one thing. It's the most important and the first thing we see. A girl could be absolutely wonderful, if we didn't find her attractive the first time we saw her, we probably won't care, or not as much as a really hot girl.
For girls, looks are important, but they're not THAT important. Even if you're like a 5 or 6 you can still get laid, but it's gonna be all about your personality. It does matter to girl, trust me. Girls are all about emotions. The more emotions you make her feel, the more she'll want to be in your bed
Shit man, not OP but you inspired even a hopeless incel like me.
During dinner i saw a cutie having dinner by herself in the canteen of my uni campus, easily 7.5/10, i'll try to go again at the same hour and hopefully i'll have the balls to talk to her.
She was like 10 cm taller than me but who cares at least it will be more exp for me
Shit I'm happy to hear that user.
Since I got dumped (again) two months again I decided "fuck it, if i don't learn how to pick up girls in a bar now, I'm never gonna get laid until a while", because the only relationships I've been in were either girls I knew from high school, or through mutual friends. But I don't hang out a lot with my friends right now, since I'm working a lot and my friends are either in another city or busy too. And even when I see them, we just hang out, we don't try and socialize at all.
Honestly I'm acting all confident in my posts to motivate OP but I don't have that much experience at all.
And yet I got laid on my third try (you could even say first try since the first two times I didn't even try to talk to anybody). Granted, I had already built up some fairly good confidence and I've improved my looks over the years, but it was still something completely new for me and I was pretty anxious before I actually hit it off with the girl.
It's still crazy to me that I actually did that, and it just shows you that even though it seems like something impossible for you and only other dudes can do, it's really not that complicated.
I've also learned from many previous experiences that trying and failing ALWAYS feel better than not having the balls to give it a shot. Always. I've NEVER attempted anything, failed, and then thought "I shouldn't have tried".
So go for it my dude, and even if she's not interested, you will still feel good about yourself because you had the balls
I REALLY fucking hope i'll be able to do that.
Whenever i see a nice girl i never even think to approach: if she's alone i think she's minding her own business and doesn't want to be bothered, if she's talking with a friend i always assume he's her boyfriend and even if he's not, he's going to have much better chanches to end up with her.
I need to realize it's neither healthy or reasonable to keep thinking like this.
No wonder i'm a virgin at 22, even if i'm not that unattractive. I mean, i'm a 5'4" manlet, but still.
>I REALLY fucking hope I'll be able to do that
See I really don't like that kind of phrasing. Like there's some random external force deciding if you'll be able to do it or not
It's just you, so decide you'll be able to do that, and do that
Of course maybe she won't be there, maybe she'll be with other people, whatever.
Try not to put all your hopes on that one girl. Look around, find opportunities to go up to people you want to talk to, and go for it. Maybe she'll be there tomorrow, in that case go for it, but maybe she won't, so instead of feeling down and telling yourself "urgh, maybe tomorrow...", just look out, maybe there's another cutie eating by herself around. Or maybe some dude is eating by himself so you can sit with him and you'll make a great new friend, and you'll meet his friends, and one of them will be a cutie
But there is a force deciding whether or not you'll be able to pull it off if you're a complete sperg like me.
Honestly OP, given your lack of success so far and general invisibility to the opposite sex despite your best efforts, I think we should temporarily if not permanently put the idea on intimacy off the table. Assume that won't happen.
What is the main issue now? It's that your friends' success with women is making you feel bad. I can understand that. Even if you just assume that you'll never get it, it feels bad to see others enjoy things you can't have.
I would recommend trying to pivot into going out with your friends that doesn't give them opportunities to pick up girls. If that's a no go, maybe make friends with more introverted and lonely people like yourself. Or just keep to yourself! It's a perfectly valid choice. I'm 29 and a KHHV, but I've accepted that it's unlikely I'll ever experience intimacy. And I basically have no friends where I am, so I have solitary hobbies instead. It kind of works, I don't really feel any desire for intimacy or pain at the lack of it.
How do you look tho? Im a mid 30s pale balding lanklet in a dead end job. I have a jawline at least. But that's about it.
According to Incels
>only a small elite of men can have access to sex and relationships
>but all the people I know experienced this but me
Something doesn't match here.
In the past incels were cannon fodder for wars or simply slave labour. Now that society overall got less violent and cruel, governments don't know how to get rid of us except using us for taxation.
I'm sorry OP, we are just walking corpses refusing to get a coffin. There are only 2 options left, suicide or MGTOW.
It is just another case of group ensuring cohesion by creating boogieman. During Cold War Burgers used to have le commies, feminists nowadays have le patriarchy and incels have the chad.
Only beta cuck faggots are not up to this. Fuck you.
Yeah, and how many of those girls did you ask out? None.
Small talk doesn't lead to anything. I talk to ton of girls too on the bus the elevator, in my classes, they get so weirded out when I ask for their name or number even.
suck my dick, homo
What you on about
You had slaves from chads to little catamites like you.
Recruiting gangs dont search for little nobodies like you to press into service , they get any person they can get their hands on.
Not only are you historically illiterate but also a depressed frog in well .
I don't really see the problem with a practice girlfriend. I think it would be way more helpful to understand how things work. So when you do find the girl you really want it won't be so nerve-racking because you have some experience.
I mean, in a way I agree, but I said I wouldn't recommend it in the sense that you won't get as much motivation if the girl doesn't attracts you at all, and also it might make you feel bad about yourself and break your confidence, like you might start thinking stuff like "I can only get ugly girls", "attractive girls don't want me" etc
Which isn't true, by the way, if you can get an ugly girl you can get a pretty girl, it's the same process, and as I said, ugly girls aren't necessarily easier, they tend to reject guys more often because when you go and talk to them they'll think "he's not really interested in me, he just thinks I'm ugly and wants an easy fuck, he's using me" etc
I mean ugly girls are different from ugly guys in the sense that, as opposed to ugly guys, ugly girls still get approached a lot, but they mainly get approached by desperate men who can't get laid
So an ugly girl might instantly label you as desperate if you go talk to them
I don't know if this makes much sense but yeah that's why I really don't think going for ugly chicks is a good idea, if you want to "start low", try with girls you consider to be 6/10 or something, they're usually cooler than ugly chicks because they know they aren't model-tier hot but they aren't ugly either, so they're usually pretty easy-going
Nobody cares i guess, but this time that girl had a friend with her, another girl, maybe even prettier than her.
I'm not even sure if i'm confident enough to approach a lone girl, i can't possibly dropkick my ass into a conversation between two girls i've never talked with before.
But i'll try again, i promise. I can't and don't want to be an incel forever.
Wish me luck bros
>no girls show any signs of interest in me
Let me tell you a story.
>go to the beach with my friends
>one of my friends through sheer coincidence and luck has a female friend a few miles away from us that's also on vacation with her friends
>my friends and them plan on meeting up on a beach and just shoot the shit
Back then, I was like you. KHV So I just assumed no girls would be into me and moved on.
>Go there and meet up
>5hot girls 4 guys
>Basically just have fun one of my friend is getting touchy feely with this one girl
>As the night progresses I tell one girl that I bet the water is cold and we go check
>We end up talking together about life for a good hour
>She's obviously not into me, keeping her distance not really looking at me while talking
>We talk and at some point go back with the others
>The night eventually ends and we all make plans to meet up at a club the next day
>The same girl is here too, she basically acting the same way, keeping her distance etc..
>At one point one of her friends comes up to me
>"What the fuck are you doing"
>"Dude just go for it she's been all over you this whole night"
>Think she's joking just laugh and go back to whatever
>My friend who has just hooked up with a girl from the night before comes up to me also
>"So...When are you going to make your move"
>"No, not you too"
>I think, fuck it. What do I know anyway. Walk up to her and kiss her.
>Doesn't reject me. Is that a tongue I feel ?
>Make out all night. Bring her back and have sex.
This was 5 years ago.
I'm going to assume you're pretty young 18-23 maybe so as your elder and someone who was just like you in the past please PLEASE heed my advice.
Because you may be wondering what the fuck the point of this story was.
The point is stop looking for signs. Because there ARE NO SIGNS. At least not for you or me back then. The signs come when you actually make your intentions known. If you don't make any form of move on a girl, she'll be basically as shy as you most of the time. Keeping also in mind that it's expected for the man to make the first move, and I can guarantee you that most girls will be sitting ducks until you actually try something.
Just go for it and handle rejection. There's a reason they call it "game". It's because you can loose. And you will. But way less than you think. And trust me you'll get better. You just have to try.
What you're just said is the issue. This. The "but she's just not into me" the "look she stopped responding she obviously thinks I'm annoying".
Dude you'd be AMAZED at the number of girls I thought had no interest but turned out to be into me in the end.
Our friends get pussy because they don't think ahead like us. They're just seeing a chance at getting pussy and that's all they need.
Just focus on the best case scenario and you'll be alright.
OP, I think you may have similar issues to me, so I'll try to break it down. There are certain mental blocks that prevent you from developing a concrete roadmap because certain elements of human interaction are too painful for your mind to process. I think that at the end of the day, it all comes back to shame and guilt around sexuality. Let's consider a lot of the success stories in this thread. Basically, they can be distilled to approaching, pulling, and sleeping with a girl within hours of meeting her. Now, this is something I could never do. Not because I lack the skills, but because the thought of being physically intimate with someone I haven't formed a close, personal bond with fills me with such disgust that I actually physically shiver and cross my arms in front of me as if to ward off an attacker.
This brings me to the numbers game paradigm. One of the most consistent things that you'll hear repeated is that you need to make a large number of approaches, get rejected, approach more, etc. This is an extremely alien concept to me because being interested in even a couple girls at a time makes me feel absolutely filthy. And frankly, I'm not really very interested in any of them. With the normal male animus thoroughly suppressed, the same drive that compels most men to act simply does not exist in me. To even think of desiring a girl physically conjures images of being berated by women for being a typical male pig, most of all by my mother.
I'm hoping to resolve these issues in therapy because I don't really see any other solution. Truth is, I've forced the issue before, playing a character and finding myself in bed with girls only for things to end abruptly when I have a panic attack due to the overwhelming shame and guilt. You said that you've been to six different therapists. Is this something that you ever discussed with them?
Fear can only be tamed through exposure OP. You MUST flirt, despite yourself.
No way around this. Take anxiety meds if you must, but there are no workarounds, no shortcuts. There is only one way to jump that hurdle.
Otherwise just accept it and live with it.
Good luck brother I care and believe in you
Thanks man, i appreciate it
I would kill to be invited to parties like I was my freshmen year of college and be surrounded by horny women. alas, I’m in the most intense stage of my engineering program, and alone writing fucking queries most of the time/java.
Go ask out a girl
If she makes eye contact as long as your mother then she’s interested fsggotanon
>normie incel". Meaning I have friends, a social life, go to parties and clubs, but I am still a kissless dateless handholdless virgin.
this is a fucking oxymoron.. people like me WOULD LOVE to be in your shoes..
Im a uni senior and have literally no friends other than a few study buddies to study class material with.. you seriously have to have autism to be in your situation and not get laid. Make an effort to talk to women at parties and clubs, ask your friends to hook you upp, literally so many things to do. Would cherish to be in your situation
>Learn to read them and move at the slightest hint of attraction
What are some signs? I still sometimes mistake friendliness for interest.
You must be pretty good looking, last time I was at the bar, saw this pajeet and his fat neckbeard caricature friend try to hit on two girls who were very visibly not interested for about an hour.
It was kinda sad
By killing yourself. Fuck you neurotypical shit.
I have never initiated conversation with a random stranger in public in my life. When people gather in large groups they make this combination of sounds that makes me want to get out of there as fast as possible. that combination of foot-steps and human voices associated with crowds makes my brain itch. But if everyone else is quiet then being the first person to speak up feels rude.
You are retarded. If that post was written by man or woman is not relevant. OP is mentally ill making the same thread every day never taking any advice and never trying to get a girl.
What's sadder, these guys or you looking at them? The only sad thing is that they kept trying for an hour even though they were not interested, but them trying anyway is good
Me being good looking or not is irrelevant, if I don't try to talk to girls I'm never getting laid ever. And I see really ugly guys cuddling with their girlfriend all the time when I go outside, so being good looking or not isn't even an argument. Including fat neckbeards
Dating is a numbers game. You have to attempt a lot and you can date a small number.
Lmao don't even start that routine, it was impossible not to notice them, it was a small space and they were putting on a spectacle.
Not OP but asked out a lot of girls, dating apps, friends of friends or complete strangers, online, face 2 face, you name it
Been rejected more times than I can count.
Only two girls accepted to go out with me. One which got drunk on one glass of wine and had to rush to the toilet to puke and the other a girl with a huge emotional baggage and no boyfriend ever(we are both finishing uni)
Shit year man. My confidence is down
Also, to mention. I’m not a virgin
This post confirms to me, you're a pussy, OP.
Men are supposed to make the first move. Women can only give so many signals, before she starts to feel like a slut, unfortunately.
Grab your balls, cause as you said, you've asked 0 girls out. Make girls like you by showing them your value. And don't ask this post how, because the other posts have explained how to do that.
Lemme know if you want me to fuck that girl for you. She don't have to like me, but ill have her love this dick.
you're not attractive. simple as that. i'm autistic as shit and got laid a ton even though most people hated me
bumping for response to this guy