This isn't a Pagan LARP vs Christcuck thread. This is a reflection of self-evident truths regarding the most underrated chad of religion. Hermes is the perfect god for Jow Forums and America. Why? Stfu and pay attention faggot. Hermes is every aspect of a good nation:
Hermes Agoraios
>Hermes is Dios Chad. Hermes is the god of sports, athleticism and the perfect patron of gym bros. All you neo-pagan fags that worship health and strength, Hermes is your guy. Cult of fitness right here.
Hermes Dolios
>Young Hermes is a troll. He's a divine trickster and unlike other faggot trickster he fucks with gods. Dude stole Apollo's cattle, intentionally got caught and got to keep the cattle because he 4D played faggot Apollo into trading for a stupid lyre Hermes made from a fucking turtle shell. Hermes doesn't give a fuck and he will always find a way to win. He's also a god of anonymity and wears a bathrobe that makes him invisible. "He will not divide us"? Nice try kid. Hermes is the patron of mad lads. God of Anons.
Hermes Logios
>Hermes is a genius from birth. Besides tricking gods, Hermes is recognized as a god of invention. He's the god of eloquence, speech, calendars, writing, magic, etc. The reason the Greeks and Romans associated Hermes/Mercury with the Egyptian god Thoth (hieroglyphics), the Norse god Odin (the runes) and theMesopatamian god Nabu (cuneiform) is because of the connection they all have as gods of the divine word. Hermes is the Logos, no less than Christ.
Hermes Argeiphontes
>Don't get it twisted. Hermes is a motherfucker and kills giants. He wields a golden sword and is not to be fucked with. His Norse counterpart, Odin, is also no stranger to fighting giants. He doesn't chimp out like Ares but he's not a basedboy either.