ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

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>Do girls/guys like ?
>What do girls/guys think about
There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever.

>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. You're overthinking it.

>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't know.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, .

>Guys insecure with their 4+ inches dick
Fuck off

>Is it too late to start dating?

>Why is there no new thread?
Create one yourself. You can use these macros:

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So this female coworker and I go to the same gym. She invited me along for a workout this weekend, but her boyfriend's also gonna be there since they workout together. I've never met the guy, but she was the one who asked if I wanted to join. I said "yeah, alright" in the moment, but is that gonna be weird?

Women, how do you deal with showing up to the same event as a guy you're casually seeing when you didn't talk about it beforehand? I really want to go to this event tomorrow and not see her, but I'm paranoid that the girl I'm dating will be there and assume something bad (I have no idea what she's up to and don't care, but it's a small world and it's the sort of event that she goes to often).

I'm a man,but...

Just for the way you're asking this, it seems it'll already be weird for you, or this is not a platonic relationship with your female friend.

I'd say don't go, work out by yourself, I see no need to get into the trouble of going to the gym with you coworker.

Same that last guy, if she's just your friend you should not be worried about anything, if you're touchy with her you know you're acting as something more. If she gets jealous or mad anyways, it's more her problem than yours, you did nothing wrong.

So I'm kind of into her, but I haven't given her any hints at all. I just keep it strictly friendly whenever we hang out outside of work. I don't want to make her feel weird by canceling now after I've said yes, but I just want to know why she would want me to meet her boyfriend and work out with them together.

How do I get a gf? Like intentionally. I want to be able to go out into public with the intention to get new gf and make it happen.

You don't. That's not how life works.
You don't go outside and ask people to become your girlfriend, life isn't 3rd grade.

Nah I don’t mean go into public and ask people to be gf. I mean go into public with the intention to meet somebody who potentially down the road will be gf. Essentially, to meet gf material.

Realistically, how bothered are men by sagging boobs? I've had saggy breasts since I was in late middle school thanks to filling out too quickly. I have some large but seriously saggy breasts. It's been bothering me for near a decade now and prevents me from wanting to become intimate with anyone. I can't help but feel disgust with myself.

I'm overweight right now. Losing said weight. But I was thin before and even then I was still large-saggy. I want to be happy I am losing weight and be more confident, but at the same time. I just have this sinking feeling in the back of my head.

>"kind of"

So, that's a yes, you're into her, and willing to go to stare at her ass in the gym in fromt of her boyfriend? Get your own hobby, tell her you changed your mind and that's it.

Talk to girls, don't approach them in the street, but talk to girls you meet in activities or classes. Also give Tinder a try.

My tits sag a fair bit (36E cups, no way they were going to be perky for more than 15 minutes after I got them). I'm horrified by them and can't even look at them.
My boyfriend doesn't care, he actually loves my boobs.

I'm a 34HH. I sag quite a bit. It's just demoralizing because I like looking at/drawing boobs. But my own disgust me.

Most men will just want to stick their dick in you and see your boobs bounce.

Kind of agree with the other user, if you feel weird about the set up then yeah chances are you're going to be hyperconscious of everything and will find it at least mildly awkward.

Having said that whether or not it has to be depends on the couple really. If the guy is friendly and sociable and entirely comfortable with his girlfriend inviting another guy along, it doesn't have to be it all. Some couples are all over each other and make you feel like a crowd, others you couldn't tell were dating if you didn't know. If you don't want to cancel just try to see it as something to try.

Why not ask her if she's doing something fun this weekend and tell her you're going there? Seems to me like if she's not going, you can relax, and if she is going it's clear upfront that you're not being stealthy hoping to "accidentally" run into her.

Do you look at all sorts of different boobs? Or just superperky ones? If the latter, change that first. You can look at breasts almost identical to your own and still feel that those look great and yours don't, we are not exactly rational when it comes to intimate feelings about our own bodies, but it's a start. Check out Jow Forumsnormalnudes on reddit for example, make sure to sort by new and not top if you want the most diverse pictures.

I know it's easier said than done but the first thing to realize is that even if somehow your boobs were "objectively" bad and most men would dislike them, that would be unfortunate enough without ruining more of your life by undermining your confidence, self-respect and ability to seek out love. You would still benefit the most from zoning in on the men that DO love you(r body) and ignoring everyone else, even if everyone else is the 99%.

Furthermore, I am quite certain that you are much more worried than you "should" be, regardless. Unless you're eighteen, and honestly I think even then, women with zero sag perfectly rounded symmetrical breasts with cutesy little button nipples are the exception, not the rule. Whether or not your body looks good to someone is mostly about the bigger picture (VERY much including your attitude, face, way of moving etc) and not about how they would rate isolated parts. And in general seeing a person you have something going on with, in the flesh, undressing for you is incomparable to judging a random picture while bored and vaguely angry in the middle of the night.

You cannot change how you feel about yourself overnight but you can make the decision to keep fighting yourself on this and invest in trying to love yourself better. At the end of the day you're all your have and undermining yourself is a waste of energy, time and potential happiness, life is too short for that crap.

I had an anxiety break down( no crying, more shaking and heavy breathing) and went home from work. My crush, who I’ve been on date with (sort of, it wasn’t official), saw this and asked me “what happened?” What should I tell her?

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We already have plans to meet up on Sunday.

>Realistically, how bothered are men by sagging boobs?

Honestly, I hate to say this, but it's a dealbreaker for me. I don't like big boobs in general though.

Most men understand that larger breasts are gonna sag, so don't worry about it honestly.

Depends on how well you know her and how much you want to share. If you want to keep it vague and be on the safe side, say something akin to
>oh, I've had a lot on my plate lately and was not feeling well, I'll explain later but right now I'm just happy to focus on other things

If you want to share more, whether life circumstances or being anxiety prone or whatever, do. The important thing is that you should not expect too much of her. What you tell her should be a rounded message, e.g. if you tell her something emotionally heavy, end it on a more uplifting note, like a new habit or medication you started that makes you feel better, you name it. What is mostly uncomfortable for other people is when you ostensibly wait for them to reassure you ("you must think I'm crazy" or dumping heavy shit and then just looking at them waiting for a reply). Ideally from a partner you absolutely CAN expect that, but this is a coworker I assume does not know you too well, so make sure to not look at her to console you. She can still do it if she wants to but there should be no pressure.

If she still responds badly, for example because she thinks anxiety is bullshit in general, consider it good that you learn now she's not as grand as you thought. Good luck!

Then see if you can aks a friend to come along to be a little distracted and have more of a plan of your own if she does happen to be there. And otherwise give her the benefit of the doubt. I understand it might feel awkward but really thinking the guy you're sleeping with is stalking you because you show up to the same event in a small community would be pretty obnoxious.

Are bed bugs a problem? I'm inviting a girl for sex but I have alot of them in my bed and dont know if it can bother her?

Yes, dude. Yes.
Holy shit.

YES. Inviting someone over when having bedbugs is an absolute no-go. They will get on her clothes and will infest her house and it's going to be a pain in the ass to get rid of. This is simply not possible.

I can't do anything about then now so maybe she won't notice? I will keep the lights off and hope she won't

>Then see if you can aks a friend to come along

This wouldn't work (it's a punk show, and the few friends I have in this city would not be comfortable in that crowd).

Thanks for the reassurance, though. I'm definitely overthinking this, but I wanted to hear it from someone else.

She probably won't notice (in the moment) but it's a HUGE dick move, it's really fucking trashy. If you're the kind of person who feels okay about inviting someone over to pleasure you while knowing you are fucking them over and causing problems in their life by doing so, do what you want I guess.

Otherwise, get a fucking motel.

Just tell her to not come over?

Why so mad? I just want to get laid man. She went pay for the hotel ,we both broke. It's just bedbugs

No problem. I understand making a potentially awkward situation out of it in your head but really it's a non-issue. If she knows you a little bit at all she knows you might be into this kind of thing as well, and running into people you slept with by chance just happens when you have sex with people whose day to day plans you don't know.

Then fuck on the couch, don't be a dick

You're literally giving her parasites that will cost you thousands of dollars to get rid of.
Not a great move if she's broke.

Just don't fuck her and solve the bed bugs problem. Don't be an asshole.

Because of what I said, you are being incredibly selfish trying to get her to do something for you while already knowing it's going to cause her problems and trying to keep her in the dark about that. How would you feel if a girl convinced you to fuck her without a condom knowing she has a curable STD? Honestly there's STDs I'd rather get than bedbugs.

>just bedbugs
No. If you do a little research you know they are notorious for being hard to get rid of and either you pay good money to get some company over and seal up and heat up your house for hours, or you better be prepared to wash EVERYTHING you own for days and still not be 100% sure they won't return in either case.

I dont have a coach. There is room mates bed but I don't want to use it because he can tell I used it after and gets mad at me. I can fuck her on the rug but she will there really no way out?

His couch will also have bedbugs, that's how it works, they get everywhere, it's an infestation.

Either be reasonable and call it off or take it outside. Listen to the other anons.

When a girl makes weird faces during sex do you find it funny in the moment?

Just borrow money for a cheap hotel or don't fuck her. Or fuck her in your car or in the woods I guess. Or ask to come over and try to fuck her at her place. Don't trick her into bringing bedbugs home.

Good to know. I don't know much about bedbugs, they're not very common here.

I just need to get laid so badly..she can take a shower later and no problem. I think you're exaggerating because bed bugs is nothing serious. Just little bugs not like aids or something. I need to smash her man. I need to get into that ass bugs or no bugs

I find it fascinating and alluring.

>she can take a shower later and no problem.
No. Her clothes will be on your bed/floor. Showering won't do shit. Don't think with your dick, don't be a dick, fuck her in your car or something.

>bed bugs is nothing serious
Seriously, go google bed bugs and see how others feel about it. Your mellow attitude is absolutely not the norm.

I have no car. Will ask her to leave her stuff in my room mates room

>bed bugs is nothing serious

Are you INSANE? Do you know the hell you have to go through to get rid of them?

People like you deserve to be force fed BSE

You sound like a seriously unpleasant person. Take a cold shower and rethink what you want to do. Seriously

If you're willing to explain why go ahead I guess. Also altogether I think fucking her in your roommate's bed using a towel or whatever is in the grand scheme of things still much much less shitty than in your room - assuming your roommate doesn't also have bedbugs which does seem likely.

I don't understand why you act so pussy like.its just bed bugs.. plenty people have them. They won't kill her. I live with some bed bugs for years and it doesn't bother me.ill fuck her in my room mates bed if it makes you happy

Plenty of people have allergic reactions to bed bugs.

They’re nasty. They itch. They’re ridiculously hard to get rid of. Most NORMAL, HYGIENIC people don’t have bed bugs and when they discover they have them, they do everything they can to get rid of them.

You’re like that person with a weird mushroom growing on your back who shrugs and says it doesn’t bother you so it shouldn’t bother anyone else because it’s JuSt a MuShROoM

Fucking disgusting

I try to do stuff like this. I've checked out that reddit before too. I just suck about changing my own feelings about myself, despite being supportive of others. I'm 22 now. But I've been saggy since I was 14 or so. It just bothers me that I've never been able to like my body because of it. But at the same time I know objectively I shouldn't be so self-critical of that kind of thing as long as I can measure up in other ways.

Lately I've gotten somewhat better. Today for whatever reason though, felt like crap. Thank you for your kind words, though. I am feeling a little better than earlier. I hate how much control this has over my self image.

I was dumped months ago, and my ex just got out of her rebound relationship, although she hasn't made any effort to contact me is there a chance she will come back? And yes I'm working on myself and seeing other women but out of all of them, she's the only one I actually liked. This is more out of curiosity.

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Maybe, to get a small boost of confidence, you may want to try exercising your chest muscles? Strong chest muscles can lift the breasts a little and might even make them look better.
And even if that doesn't make a visible difference, working out can really help with self-esteem.
Also, I'm pretty sure there are many guys out there who wouldn't be bothered by it because, hey, they're still boobs and boobs are awesome.

>is there a chance she will come back?
Look, I can't honestly tell you that there's literally no chance, but if it's been a couple of months and she hasn't contacted you yet, I wouldn't get my hopes up.

I used to work out a lot in highschool and can gain muscle easily. I don't work out now though, it's kind of boring.

I do hike and backpack though. I hike every week usually twice. Not the walking in a flat forest kind of hike, either. My legs and hips area are very toned now. I just need to figure out what I can do with my lifestyle to improve the upper half.

Once I've gotten to a good weight maybe things will start changing.

>I'm 22 now.
You might not feel this way, but in the grand scheme of things 22 is still very young. I am 26 at the moment and four years ago I felt pretty confident - which I was compared to my teenage self - but looking back I had no idea then what real confidence was even like. I know it might be hard to believe on a day like this but there are very good things waiting for you in that regard. You can do some stuff to speed up the process but overall virtually everyone grows into themselves more and finds their stride more as they age.

>It just bothers me that I've never been able to like my body because of it.
That IS very sad, but try to rephrase it. You haven't been good at liking your body - so far. And most of all it is not because of your breasts. I assure you that there's girls walking around like their pussy is lined with gold that you would never guess hide big "flaws" under that cute outfit.
I know you know and it probably seems like a petty thing to point out. But thinking is not neutral and every time you think something like "I can't like my body because of my breasts" you retell yourself the story that this part of you is not good enough when really it is the thinking you want to change, your body is absolutely fine.

The best kind of men in this world, the most interesting and most emotionally developed men who know how to love a woman and make her feel cherished, they are not men who are hung up on every single part of a woman being magazine-worthy. They are men looking for women who will make their life better, who will make them laugh, who will inspire them to look at things differently, who will build them up when they feel down.

I mostly recommend dancing or other things with your body that make you feel sexy not because of how it looks but how you feel. That make you feel alive. Best of luck girl, you'll get there I'm sure! We all have these days, tomorrow's a new one.

Do guys have high standards for women? Like, are you only attracted to someone if they’re thin and bubbly? Also, is the thing about guys liking confident women a myth?

This may surprise you, but men don't all share a hivemind. Some men have high standards, some don't. Some men like confident women, some don't.

>Also, is the thing about guys liking confident women a myth?
Not a guy so not qualified to answer this really but I wanted to scoot in because guys on here are usually adamant that they don't like confident women because they picture abrasive and/or overly assertive "if you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" kind of behavior.
Confidence in the sense of being at ease with yourself, knowing what you want, not constantly asking for reassurance, not being paranoid about him cheating/leaving all the time, having a life of your own are absolutely things that by far most men find attractive.

I know I am young, at least. Which is why I am trying to make a change now rather than later, ending up stuck in my ways. I know my problems are petty if I try to look at it subjectively. But when it comes to in practice? I pull away from people all the time. I try to be a decent person, and I like to believe other people do the same. But yeah. I don't know. Maybe I will think differently down the line but for now I just don't feel worthy of anyone.

I have asperger's, if that makes any difference.

Also feel super awkward and weird dancing so that's kind of a no-go. oof.

Thank you for being encouraging.

I like less than 1% of women I meet.

But I'm the minority, most men are far hornier and less picky.

I primarily want her to be thin, a virgin, not smoke/drink in excess at least, and not be crazy.

This rules out almost all women my age(22) so I guess my standards are very high even though I fit all those along with other good attributes.

And yes men dont care if a woman is confident, that's a joke and often bad. Just dont be insecure.

>inb4 incel for having preferences

It's okay, shitty as it is these days of not liking yourself at all are part of the deal, whether appearance-related or because of things you did or life circumstances or anything else. You don't always have to be your own biggest fan, having the trust that you won't keep feeling as bad about it as you do now is a very important start. And yes I do have faith that it will get better with time especially as you are doing what you can.

>Also feel super awkward and weird dancing
If you do like music and have a feeling for rhythm (e.g. enjoying tapping along to music, recognizing the pattern in it so to say), try dancing alone especially if you're already in a good mood and/or tipsy. It feeling good to express music with your body is a very deep primal thing, if you're not in front of a mirror it doesn't matter shit what you look like as long as you have fun and feel good. It is also something that can help you see your body in a different light, like sexuality, as something that's more than a static object to be judged.

Of course it's no magic fix and if it's too far out of your comfort zone, alone or not, it's not really useful. Try to keep it in mind though, it is famous for helping with body acceptance or even just processing emotions.

i want a chick that doesnt drink, doesnt do drugs, doesnt smoke, has a cute face
I would like her to be more stay at home than party girl, and i want to cuddle her a lot.

regarding physical attributes
anything from skinny to little chub is fine, im big into butts, not so much chests.
I love long hair and beautifull natural smile, low amounts of makeup.

Unfortunately first paragraph eliminates like 99% women

It's more the fact that most of those women are already at home and thus are harder to meet/find.

You basically described me, and I'd guess you probably don't drink or do drugs yourself. But I also live in the bay area, and boy howdy I'm surrounded by dudes who make drugs and drinking their Meaning Of Life.

Your first paragraph eliminates 99% of men OR women who can be found by conventional means.

A lot of guys don't have very high standards, but the better ones out of us do. I consider myself to have high standards, but I don't really care if you have a nice body as long as it's not a masculine one. An average face is fine, too.

As for confidence/bubbly thing that's a preference. Some do, some don't, but don't mistake confidence with being an asshole. A girl who is confident in herself is one who is her own person (thinks for herself, doesn't follow trends just because they're trends, doesn't crave everyone's attention, isn't anxious often). At least, that's what I think.

Bottom line is, even if you're somewhat below average, as long as you don't have any glaring problems in your personality you shouldn't be afraid of ending up alone, because it's very possible to find a decent-great guy in your case.

Disclaimer: Luck still exists. You might end up dating a bunch of assholes and pushovers anyway.

As a guy with pretty thick girth, I'm terrified of losing my virginity. I know that girthier guys need to do more foreplay or it's going to hurt for most girls. But obviously being a virgin I'll be terrible at foreplay. And I'm doubtful that just reading up on it will make me any good. What should I do?

There shouldn't be an issue so long as you use lube, and all foreplay is appreciated, even if you're not good at it.

The biggest issue will be that I'm not sure how much foreplay is usually appropriate. I know that you need more foreplay if you have higher girth, but that doesn't help me if I don't know how much foreplay is "normal." I don't want to keep the poor girl waiting forever, but I don't want to hurt her due to lack of foreplay either.

>are you only attracted to someone if they’re thin and bubbly?
Imagine a pear. That's my current GF. Okay, I exaggerate a little bit, but she weighs more than 200 pounds and she is not amazon tall so you can put that together.

I do like confident women but just in general I am mostly interested in finding someone who
1. does something more with their time than just watch Netflix (TV is okay, but I like people with hobbies)
2. shares my values

My gf is also emotional sometimes but what I appreciate is that she values self-reflection and never uses her emotions as a weapon or extortion. I don't mind comforting her and working through things because she doesn't lash out against me.

>And I'm doubtful that just reading up on it will make me any good. What should I do?
Good news, no one's first time is good! That's why they call it experience. Think of it this way: no amount of reading is going to make you a pro surfer. You need to do it.

Find someone you love and learn with them.

Yeah I completely get that and I'm aware that it could get awkward. It's just that I find it interesting that she wants me to join while she's going with her bf. I didn't see her as someone who would want me to meet her bf and hang out with them.

If you want to be extra safe, you could always just do oral until she orgasms, can't really go wrong with that, and it will leave a good first impression.

>Find someone you love and learn with them.
That doesn't sound good, I don't want a girl I love to think I'm terrible at sex. But I've also heard that revealing your virginity is a bad idea as well.

ive found onegirl like that and she has some boyfriend already

gonna see her tomorrow at work and feel bad about it

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I guess that's true, but if I end up being bad at oral that could take forever. Also, isn't there a brief period of over-sensitivity after a girl orgasms? What would I do while I wait for that to pass?

im a dude
i think theres NOThing positive that can come out of revealing you are a virgin
maybe except girl being happy that you dont have stds

I mean, I've heard that some girls are happy to hear it and will try to make your first time incredible. But a lot of them get turned off by the idea of needing to teach you.

If you feel like you're not doing good, don't be afraid to ask her what she likes, communication is important. As for what you should do after her orgasm, just start kissing her and playing with her nipples a bit, if all goes well she'll be begging you to fuck her by then.

I know, but being a virgin I won't know how to ask in a way that's even remotely sexy. I'd probably just kill the mood if I tried to ask anything.

>That doesn't sound good, I don't want a girl I love to think I'm terrible at sex. But I've also heard that revealing your virginity is a bad idea as well.
Girls tend to be a little different in how to best pleasure them... they like different things. Truth is, you will not get her SUPER LOOSE until you learn about her body. That means having the kind of relationship where you can communicate with her, and ask her how to increase her pleasure.

That's not saying that general experience won't help of course, but you are asking for an extreme case, how to get her to really open up, right?

Just ask her to take the lead and tell you what she wants. It'll be fine, don't worry about it.

My main goal is to prevent my first sexual encounter with a girl from being so terrible that she just stops seeing me. I'd feel awful if she had such a bad time, either due to it being too drawn-out and awkward or too short and painful. I know that most first times are terrible, but if that happened to me I might lose all confidence.

It's not that hard and yes reading up on it will absolutely make you better at it. Also look up video's, e.g. Nina Hartley's at eating pussy. In general foreplay is hugely important, not just to "get ready" for sex but also because it literally makes penetration feel better physically. The more aroused a woman is, the wetter, the more blood in her groin, the more sensitive she is. There's a reason putting a tampon up there doesn't feel like anything pleasurable but a finger at the right moment can be bliss. Being excited enough before sex makes a day and night difference.

I'd say for a first time at least ten minutes (counting everything from deep making out + fondling to fingering and oral sex). If the girl is responsive and relaxed chances are she will also give you cues or outright tell you she wants you inside, she wants to feel you etc as she gets really turned on. If not, remember that you are constantly touching her vagina if you're doing it right. There's a big difference between a normal or slightly excited vagina and a superaroused one. In the default state a vagina feels strong, possibly even hard, is slightly damp, and fits around your finger. If she is quite tight it will be such a tight fit your finger gets pushed out or it feels like you're doing something wrong, so hard is she pressing into you.
A superhorny pussy isn't just sloppy wet but also wholly relaxed. The vagina feels less like a narrow canal and more like "the inside". You can easily insert one or even two fingers (at least the first inch or so) without actively needing to push up against her. Just how wet and loose she becomes depends on the woman, but if you get a finger in there first chance you get and then keep checking you should definitely see a progression which will cue you in.
If all else fails, "ask" under the guise of dirty talk.

Isn't that a dead giveaway that I'm a virgin? How would I ask that in a way that doesn't make it obvious? And when?

It's all in the delivery, a jittery
>i-is this working for you
is VERY different from a low, leisurely
>you like that?

Ironically it is easiest to do the second when you focus less on analyzing your own performance and more on enjoying yourself and being horny.

>Isn't that a dead giveaway that I'm a virgin?
Most women have different things that turn them on, so it really wouldn't.
As for when you ask, you could just whisper it in her ear during foreplay. You're overthinking it hard right now, relax.

I was under the impression that guys are expected to take the lead, at least the first time.

I don't care at all. If you're not a degenerate to overcompensate, don't worry about it.. It's hardly your fault. Being fat *is* bad, though.

>It's not that hard and yes reading up on it will absolutely make you better at it
I've read up on it plenty, but knowing me I'd forget just about everything in the heat of the moment.
>If the girl is responsive and relaxed chances are she will also give you cues or outright tell you she wants you inside
That's what I'm hoping goes down, but obviously being a virgin I won't last long in there. Hope she's flattered instead of annoyed. What should I do if that happens, go back to oral or fingering? I'm not sure how long my refractory period is.

You don't need to literally ask her to take the lead, just ask her what she likes or what she wants to have you do at the moment.

Hm, yeah I guess that could be sexy if done right. But it could also be annoying if I asked it too often.

I am a man, asking women: I kind of use Tinder to practice conversation skills: Not really in a position to date seriously, but I could get started if I needed to or there was a dynamite woman.
How do I break off a conversation politely or tell a woman I don't want to go on a date with her?

Better safe than sorry. Have some faith in yourself, you can do it.

>I'd forget just about everything in the heat of the moment.
Okay real basic. You know those old fashioned laptops that don't have a touch pad but instead have a button in the middle of the keyboard that you can use to move the cursor without using a mouse? That you gently press your fingertip on and then make a sort of massaging motion on? That's what fingering is, the main course at least.

Spend some time kissing and fondling, suck on her nipples, compliment her, be cheeky and let one or two fingers slide under her jeans, have a nice moment undoing her zipper/buttons while looking her in the face, when the pants come off you're going to start with putting a hand over her panties and, with light pressure, stroking and teasing her through those. If she responds well, keep at it for a while, if not take them off more quickly.
Don't go for the clit dry. Use her own fluid or lube and go to the clit (follow the vaginal entrance up to where the folds come together at the top), start out softly and very very gradually increase pressure if she doesn't seem responsive. Trial and error.

Eating out is more difficult to do really well but also more difficult to fuck up. Really it's just spreading her legs and licking the clit. Full on licks like a dog, gentle sucking, swirling the tip around, mix it up.

In both cases, if you feel she's getting close, you keep doing what you do. Just that. Not faster, not harder. Most women are slow burners that get pushed over the edge by repeating something over and not by amping it up at the last second.

Obviously this is rudimentary but it's the most important to remember. Make sure your nails are cut shorts AND filed so they have no rough edges.

>I won't last long
You don't know, not coming easily during the first time with a new partner is quite common actually. Either way regular sex probably does not last as long as you think, 5 minutes is nothing exceptionally short for example.

On Tinder? The traditional method is to stop replying with no explanation. We call it ghosting, grandpa.
>dynamite woman
Let me reiterate the grandpa part.

Thanks whippersnapper. Now get off my lawn, Wheel of Fortune is on and I can't find my Miller.

Either way, even if you last half a minute, if penetration is the cherry on top it hardly matters much. It mostly sucks if foreplay was also short and the guy is not willing to do anything afterwards.

>What should I do if that happens
Take a moment to catch your breath, hold her in your arms, tell her something ("I'm surprised I even lasted as long as I did, wow, you're amazing") that actively helps frame it as a compliment. Then feel the room. Not to give you negative preconceptions but women can sometimes also enjoy that the man's climax is seen as the end of sex, it's possible that she also just wants to stop at that point. Being willing and ready to do stuff to her is always best but it's not impossible she actually doesn't want it. If she seems a little stiff, avoiding eye contact, talking about very much casual/unsexy topics or mentioning stuff she wants to do, straight up ask if she wants to do more or not. If she's enjoying it, still lying relaxed in your arms, get back to fingering as soon as you feel ready to put some heart into it. I don't recommend eating her out right after, for one you are either going to taste your cum or rubber depending on whether or not you used a condom and it might kill your vibe a little, secondly if she is quite young and inexperienced it might be shocking to her to have a guy dive right back (though I have to say this is a very much desired feat for many women too). I'd just stay on the safe side and go for hand stuff. Spooning her while both fingering her and talking dirty to her/kissing her neck is a really intimate and mutual act I can very much recommend for these sort of situations.

is it true that more shy girls prefer confident loud jocks and vice versa, confident louder girls being attracted to mysterious shy guys

I want a introverted shy gf but im also introverted not very social guy

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I've seen it go either way, pretty consistently with extroverted girls- in fact all of the ones that come to mind have gone after both. It's too hard to judge who shy girls are and aren't into often enough to get a good count though.

I think this one's tricky because using tinder and actively engaging people in elaborate talking when you know 99% certainly you won't date them is kind of shitty to me. I mean it's definitely not the worst and I do understand the reasoning, but there's a reason they recommend meeting up quickly with online dating, when you're lonely it's very easy to fall in love with an idealized version of the person who talks to you and gives you attention. It is also rare for women on tinder to meet guys who put effort into longer conversations so you risk giving off the impression that you are actually quite invested in the women you are talking to.

Of course you could include it in your bio but you'd surely get less matches.

>You know those old fashioned laptops that don't have a touch pad but instead have a button in the middle of the keyboard that you can use to move the cursor without using a mouse?
You mean pic related?
>have a nice moment undoing her zipper/buttons while looking her in the face
That's another nightmare of mine, killing the mood by not knowing how to remove her clothes. A dead giveaway of virginity if I've ever seen one.
>with light pressure, stroking and teasing her through those
Might sound stupid, but stroking where? You said to not go for the clit dry. Just general non-focused stroking?
>Use her own fluid or lube
That reminds me, how exactly is lube used? Is it applied to the vulva/vagina? The penis? Both?
>mix it up
Other people have told me that mixing it up during oral is bad and you should focus on one technique. Is that not the case? Or does that only apply if you feel what you're doing is really working?
>You don't know, not coming easily during the first time with a new partner is quite common actually
I'm very sensitive, so I'd probably cum in under a minute unless the condom is cutting off sensitivity or something.

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I'm very shy and I prefer shy dudes because they seem nicer and more relatable. I would never go for a stereotypical Chad.