you guys, I'm back from the last thread about trying to ask out my crush at work. I finally did it and it was a total bust. I spilled spaghetti, and I have been beating myself up over it. she now avoids me and sees me as an idiot.
a bit of a recap >my crush at work that I have been fancying for a while likes me >we both get mushy when we bump into each other >howdoinotfuckthisup.org >really hard to pin her down to ask her on a date due to the insane amount of people bombarding her everyday at work >made a thread about it and took you guys advice
today I asked her to hang out with me in the city, she rejected me and then I acted like a bitter doofus by giving her a cold stare and now I feel so bad. I know I fucked up by looking so sour in front of her.. she doesn't even want to look at me
I feel so defeated. how do I manage to correct what I have done? I don't really interact with her only with business related things a few times a week. I dont want her to see me like a fucking child who doesn't get what he wants. how can I fix this?
Goddamn I'm having the same situation at work. How do I tell If she truly likes me so I don't sperg as well? Sorry for hijacking OP. Take this as a bump.
Okay OP, this a tough situation, but still manageable. Two of my 5 girlfriends began much the same way, with a rejection. The trick here is not to be a child who cries when he doesn’t get what he wants, but a man who pursues what he wants in spite of setback; two sides of the same coin, if you like. Right now she is aware you like her, so you’ve gone from coworker to a romantic option that isn’t up to snuff, this doesn’t feel good, but it is an upgrade. You’ve got the play with the tension you’ve now created, you’ve got to be emotionally adaptable, I recommend that next time you see her, you be as charming and funny as possible then leave before a lull hits. You want her to keep thinking about you as a romantic option, until she considers you an acceptable one.
This. Bring her flowers and read her a poem also, OP. Worked for me.
>Two of my 5 girlfriends began much the same way, with a rejection. Are you really dense enough to not acknowledge they also ended unless you're poly? >The trick here is not to be a child who cries when he doesn’t get what he wants, but a man who pursues what he wants in spite of setback; two sides of the same coin, if you like. Dude, let No mean No. Bitches that play these games are not worth the chase.
Yeah I’ve seen you here before tripfag, always full of vinegar, never able to offer anything of any use.
As well, the second of these relationships ended after 8 years, so once again, btfo
>says the whiney user as per usual
I thought so
>asking out someone at work Why playing with fire? >I acted like a bitter doofus by giving her a cold stare Why playing with fire if you can't even play? >how can I fix this? Just act normal from now on. If she or anyone else mentions the shit, react like an adult and laugh it off.
Or do this and get fired for sexual harassment.
>get fired for being charming and funny
Though you do make a good point, fliers and a poem is clearly too much at this point.
>being charming and funny Something which needs a lot practice. Given OP's current situation, charming and funny aren't part of the package at the moment.
ask her out user
that's what I did even though she liked me but her interest in me started vanishing. it's the only way to find out. asking her out.
that's the thing. me being charming and funny around her feels out of place right now because of the tension and awkwardness between us. how can I fix things? should I apologize for showing childish behavior?
This guy is right. At work they cannot fire you for asking someone out on a date, but absolutely can fire you if you don't take no for an answer. If this was not work I'd say go for it, but since it is you are fucked, OP
The answer is, pursue or at least talk to other women and make sure she sees it at least once in a while. This would have to start tomorrow. Snap chatting bitches, Instagram pics, texting. When you see her be charming but passive, and give minimal attention. She will either 1. Be relieved you’re not orbiting after her because she truly isn’t interested 2. Be all over your dick. Initiating conversations, fighting for your attention, etc etc. Women are competitive as fuck like that and their irrational mind takes over in that situation
This is the worst advice, you'll just end up harassing her. If she rejected you move on.
>my crush at work that I have been fancying for a while likes me You think she likes you yet she rejected you
This user gets it
As other anons have observed, the fact this occurred at work makes the situation much more dicey. I recommend you take the advice of Don’t show her much attention, let her come to you, and when you do, summon up your charm and wit, make her think she made a mistake, but don’t try and force it.
she did like me.. a lot
I always caught her staring into my soul from far away. she always threw me choosing signals when we interacted. always found an excuse to talk to me about work related things that were useless or giggled for little things I do for no apparent reason. she was always nervous around me and turned into pudding whenever we encountered each other
it's one of the reasons I approached her in the first place and I already had a little crush on her to begin with, but I spilled so much spaghetti when I would be around her that it eventually turned her off. and it shows. I took it really bad
Damn OP, similar story, when she rejected me she started getting all giggly and stammery and left the area. I didn't feel a thing. I didn't feel good, I didn't feel bad, it was a complete void.
Are my emotions dying or something?
It’s not a game to her. She doesn’t like him right then, but it’s not a bad thing for him to defend himself and try to salvage it. People are allowed to have a change of opinion.
Yes. Just tell her you were having a bad day, or something along those lines. I wouldn’t ask her out again directly after that, but at least try to butter her up again slowly until you feel you’re/she’s ready for a second try. Just relax.
Unironically an incel thing to say
thanks, Im not looking forward to asking her out again but I will apologies to her for showing childish behavior and being a bitter asshole to her. this has been bothering me the whole time since.
thanks. I will try to say sorry to her for being a moron.
>she rejected me and then I acted like a bitter doofus by giving her a cold stare Why did you do this?
I was so nervous but I was also angry at her for rejecting me. this is why I want to apologize to her and tell her I was acting out of character. this morning I wanted to text her something sweet because I was dreaming about her, but I forgot we dont have each others numbers. I was skimming through my contacts looking for her name like an idiot, I was half asleep. I'm so obsessed with her.
is everyone here retarded? she rejected you. move on you imbecile.
>Crush > work > Acting like a bitter doofus Cut contact and grow up ok. Either you waited to long or she only saw you as a friend and you were way to thirsty. And for the love of god dont shit where you eat.
Dude, she already said no. Your apology is likely to be seen as an attempt to get her to change her mind about going out with you because that's the intention behind you making it. Leave it alone. Be polite and friendly to her but otherwise back off.
You are also full of shit. Being angry that she rejected you is absolutely in character for you or that wouldn't have been your undisguised reaction.
Okay, so you fucked up. It happens. If you want to salvage the situation get over your bitterness and be friendly when you interact but don't push for more. She'll either get over it or she won't. She may reconsider the rejection in the future or she may not. But you're not getting a relationship at this point either way and you're not getting anything out of sulking so you may as well act like a grownup about it and get on with your life instead of making it worse.
Take it as a learning experience. Sure it sucks but it's not the end of the world. We've all been there, crashing and burning and then acting like jealous manchildren when we didn't get the girl. What matters now is what you make of it. You can at least do your part to get over it to the point where you can have a reasonable working relationship instead of this avoidance crap.
I can't just cut contact with her faggot, I see her everyday at work and sometimes we work directly with each other. I want to apologize to lift the tension and awkwardness between us so that shit can be normal again and so that she doesn't see me like an idiot
theres no way I'm getting into her pants after what I just pulled
Sure. You have the ability to control what she thinks and feels.
Are you going to be more "out of character" angry at her when your "apology" fails to have its intended effect?