Is it really worth waiting for the one? It seems like I'm going to be miserable regardless, might as well get rid of the anxiety and reputation associated with having no experience.
Is it really worth waiting for the one? It seems like I'm going to be miserable regardless...
I think that it's worth waiting for someone you love and care for, because it makes the experience much more easy and pleasant for you.
It isn't very common to see people's first relationships working out in the long term, so the first person you'll have sex with probably won't be "the one" even if you think so at the time.
So how do I know if I'm just being too picky?
You watched too many Disney movies dude. There's like 8 billion people out there you're compatible with more than just one.
this. read rational male OP
The question to ask is not “is waiting for the one worth it?” The right question is “can I bear the consequences of waiting for the perfect match?”
The consequences are
1) you find it harder to date as you age because you miss out on what’s socially expected of you to know
2) you find it harder to figure out exactly who you’d be good with because you never tried being with someone
3) you miss out on the fun
4) you may come to realize that there is no such thing as the one
Oftentimes, being picky is a symptom of some anxiety. It’s easy to say you’re not dating anyone because you want to date the one, but usually the underlying reason is that you’re scared.
"One" is the one you end up with after all's said and done and you're done competing.
There's a pic of a dude racing ahead of a bus and he wins the race but when he looks back everyone else is playing around with each other on a bus or something.
The thing is OP that you still have to actually make an effort to meet women and get to know them or you will never meet "the one"
It's more that I need someone who can accommodate my emotional needs rather than anything else. I need something satisfying and I don't think it's something that a lot of women can provide.
I am, I just can't find anyone whose not a snarky asshole or overly dependent stacys
So basically you want another mommy to meet your needs?
This is why I can't find anyone, I'm perfectly functional I'm clean, I'm organized, I have a decent job and I don't have a fucked up diet.
I just expect the same that women expect from me, but that's never something I can never get. I've been improving myself for *years* and apparently I'm still not better than a fucking douchey high school junior apparently because I need affection.
You said you have great emotional needs bro. Needing affection is not the same as what you said. there are plenty of women out there who can take care of themselves but they probably don’t find the idea of taking care of a man with great emotional needs appealing.
I just said
>I need someone who can accommodate my emotional needs
You have no idea what level of affection I want out of a relationship. This is what always happens, I say a vague thing and everyone automatically fills in the blanks with me just being a manchild. Obviously they don't find it appealing, that's the entire premise I'm working off here and I'm not exactly sure what point you were trying to make with it.
The irony is youre already throwing a tantrum and yelling shit like “this is why I can’t date” and “this always happens” as soon as i asked if what you want is another mommy. Maybe If everyone says youre a manchild then you need to accept that you got some growing left to do my man.
The woman you desire wont come to you in your current state, so either grow up or accept that you get what you get and try to make the most out of it.
>Is it really worth waiting
No, 'the one' is a delusional concept that there is a piece of perfection for everyone.
Your ancestors didnt spend their time on 4channel asking for advice on how to get a gf. They went out into the world and just did it. Put down the technology and go live your life. You'll be happier that way.
Seeing there is no such thing as “the one”, do what you want. But maybe you mean you’re waiting for something that feels right for you, then maybe hold odd on things. Although how would you even know if you don’t even get your feet wet.
Alright, let's imagine this model applied to someone with a mental disorder.
"You're only having an episode because you want attention. You don't need external support to deal with these issues, you just need some good old fashion personal growth."
It's a hypothetical model but when you're missing something important in the hierarchy of needs, you don't suddenly stop needing it because you went without it for long enough. Not to say personal growth isn't needed to grow out of these problems, but it's not a sudden completely voluntary heel-turn you can easily make.
Yes. God, I can't wait to feel that spark of real love again. But I need to get some more learning done before I'll bother with dating again.
Of course, my only criteria for "the one" is great chemistry. And yes, in my experience it's totally worth it.
Bro, unless you have a diagnosed mental disorder, youre just throwing a tantrum because you don’t wanna grow up. Be a grown ass adult and simply accept that growing is something you’ll have to do. Part of growing up is not making any excuses. Some might say that’s the very first step. Don’t try so hard to reason your way out of growing up and just do it. Maybe then you’ll find yourself hanging with mature women.
I do happen to actually, I was diagnosed with depression at age 15.
You can condescend and write it off as much as you want but when you don't actually address the points and just fill in the blanks like everyone else, you aren't exactly the type of person who deserves to be either of those things.
Cool i was also diagnosed with depression.
Oh, I forgot depression is a uniform thing with a uniform level of severity and derives from the exact same circumstances and requires the exact same treatment for everyone. My bad.
Sure bro you can keep saying those things but sooner or later you gotta do the act of actually standing up and walking with your own legs. If depression some shrink diagnosed some years ago to give you meds is really what youre going to use to keep yourself from actually improving your life in the one area that maybe matters the most thats fine with me. You do you. Keep on making excuses.
I see you've fallen into a loop again and completely ignored the point of what I said.
At the very least though, at least I have something to say besides the same opening statement.
I didn’t ignore anything. It’s just that what you’re saying basically boils down to “i have hard time growing up because reasons.” I guess it sucks that you were diagnosed with depression when you were 15 but come on bro you gotta be better than that.
No, what I've specified is that
>the type of relationship I plan on getting into is one where I remain independent and expect back what I put in
>your model of "just grow up and be independent" doesn't work because it's both vague and doesn't fix the fact that I'm missing an important part of the hierarchy of needs.
>As well as the fact that I'm already a functioning, independent person and just because I have emotions doesn't make me this parasitic invalid that you've assumed I am since the very beginning of this conversation.
I'm 21 and still a virgin
Its painful but in a character building way
And a firm handshake
Dont know. Love is a disney concept.
My friends girl asked to sleep with me one night after drinking and i took things a little further, but no sex. Didnt get any pushback or her taking my hands off of her. Best ass and tits ive felt. about 5 minutes went by She got up quick and mumbled how she has to go, she cant do this right now and went back to her own bed.
I fear that she doesnt see me in that type and only in the nice guy or gay friend type. Whats a good outcome of this if theres an apology from her. Id hate to be a reject while she moves on to other people. Havent got any fuck action in so long.