Are there any convicted felons on Jow Forums?

I was standing next to a bag containing a large amount of undeclared cash.

If it was a dog or a monkey it wouldn't be a felony.

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Only bad if you are...
A pedo
A snitch
A gang member in the wrong pod
A pushover

You are likely to get a heart check. Stand up for yourself and earn respect. Don't be a bitch, don't be a dick, and you'll be fine.

Hit and run DUI w/serious injury.

Was 18 partying at a river. Girls got scared by another group. They wake me up saying we need to leave. Ended up rolling through a two way stop, thinking it was a 4 way. Got T-boned. Jumped out, checked the other car for fatalities or visible injuries. None I saw. Jumped back in the truck and tried to make it home.

I guess there was an elderly woman in the back seat of the car that hit us. She was the "serious injury".

No sympathy for the other party as they pulled a switcharoo when the cops questioned them. A man was driving during the accident, they told the cops his wife was driving. So fuck em.

We are all felons, you just haven't been caught yet.
archive.li/1Ggyc

What did you do? How bad was it? Are the prison rape memes true?

>surrounded by buff black dudes ready to ram your ass
Yeah I can see why you miss it so much

Did you join a gang? Any tats in prison?

No, but I've gone to jail for hitting a muslim with a cricket bat and breaking his skull. Somehow that niggers ear started bleeding too.

Got jumped by three niggers. Fucked them all up bad. One was 17.

Assault on a minor. Violent offender.

Other charges dropped. I maybe fucked them up a bit excessively....

What do you guys do for entertainment in prison? Do you at least get access to books?

I got 5 yrs suspended

Big Herc, are you scouting pol for new people to interview now?

No gangs, no tats. I was a short timer in minimum security, gladiator school (classification on entry, where everyone starts regardless of charges) is where you learn the ropes.

Heckin lame, how long were you in for? Did you meet any redpilled lads or were they all degenerates?

Convicted of felonious vandalism.
Broke a $600 university window demanding 9-11 Truth. I thought others would break a window until all university windows across the nation were broken and it couldn't be ignored and they'd establish an INDEPENDENT 9-11 INVESTIGATION.
I defended myself citing the Declaration of Independence where it says it's my duty to overthrow the government if it exhibits absolute despotism. I thought murdering 3000 of its own people on 9-11 was enough to justify a broken window. I tried to get Architects and Engineers for 9-11 Truth to testify as expert witnesses saying I was justified in thinking an investigation was justified but they refused because my Facebook page said I thought Zionist did it.
4 months in jail.
3 years probation.
3 year gag order prohibiting me writing about it
6 months with a GPS ankle bracelet after release.
$6000 fine.
1 year mandatory stay at a VA mental facility.
It's been almost six years and still nobody has broken a second window.

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Based.

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No felony, I spent a few months in jail for a DUI. I got put in segregation because I didn't want to deal with the shit, forget what I told them but it was easy. My cellie was a Muslim bashed his previous cellie for being a faggot, guy was serious ISIS material but we got along. Got fit I'll say that what else are you gonna do?

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he pays the price to roll with it.
>known for it

18 months. 99% degenerate losers, mentally ill, and drug addicts where i spent most of my time. I wasn't there to make friends, but I played cards with a couple decent guys doing time for weed, kinda hippy red neck types, not smart but good dudes.

nice story but i'll take shit that never happened for $500

>gladiator school
lel I fucking hate the tanks it is so fucking crazy in there
>t. got twisted up by the sheriffs cuz I wouldn't get away from the window
>wait what happened to the co- oh shit HIT THE FLOOR
>so many fucking cops twisting me up

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I knew a guy who swallowed a couple grams of bagged meth and felt it start to kick in and begged the cops to take him to the hospital. They refused and eventually beat his ass and tazed him in the tank and he died. His uncle took them to court and got a bunch of money.

Jow Forums's dirty little secret is it's 75% aryan brotherhood. Sociopathic Hitler-loving NEETs with nothing better to do with their time than shitpost on this hell hole of a board in their prison cell.

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you have to go back

based

Did you have dreams and aspirations?

>Months in jail for a DUI
Is that normal? I just had to pay a fine and deal with 6 months of probation

August 19, 2013, UCSB
Keep your money but consider being second.

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I was convicted of lying on the internet

>Is that normal? I just had to pay a fine and deal with 6 months of probation
I fucked up on my probation multiple times I couldn't believe it when they violated me
>took it to trial
>book thrown
>public offender was like "don't go crazy on me" aw man fuck you

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lying to congress

I actually got like 3 months suspended with THREE FUCKING YEARS probation and they violated me at the end it was so fucked up

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Story time
>second day in my new pod after classification
>fat black dude says he needs my tray
>no sir I can't do that
>you gotta pay rent
>no sir, I won't do that
>oh you think you da landlord now?
>stand up, square up, "I ain't giving you shit."
>he cracks up laughing "I'm just playin cuz, we cool"
That was my heart check. Never got fucked with again.

At least you didn't get busted for possession of an unregistered grapefruit spoon.

Thank your lucky stars.

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I'd been mulling violence but then I read Mark Kurlansky's, "Non-Violence: The History of a Dangerous Idea" and the broken university window idea popped into my head.
It's not too late for the idea to work.

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That's some shit. Hope you're doing alright now.

I tweeted.

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Where was your loicense?

AB is trash and they aren't 75%of this board you retard

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There's nothing wrong with marrying you cousin. 80% of all marriages have been to cousins. There are genetic *advantages* to marrying cousins. Why do you think (((they))) created the don't-fuck-your-cousin meme in the first place?

Cards, dominos, dice, watching COPS and everyone becomes a certified paralegal, like "oh shit nigga that's 5-10, awww where it don't let em search you dumb muhfuckaz!" Quite entertaining.

Is this common in Japan or some shit?

he almost confuses himself with the night.

>did something dumb that could have gotten me 20 years (non violent, no weapons, no harm to anyone, no property loss or damage, non sexual)
>they offered me 10 years supervised probation
>nope
>served 1 year
>graduated with a BSCE from uni
>paid money to make crime record disappear from public record
>married
>never speak of this to anyone
>make >90k/year comfy smug life

this is only possible because im white

>That's some shit. Hope you're doing alright now.
It wasn't all bad I mean I was in a segregated unit we were not let out with other inmates
>dude a few cells over screaming crazy shit constantly, big fucking dude, they open my cell when he's out, both of us are dead
>other guys intermittently cant stand it and yell back
>other dude yelling at them to shut the fuck up
>working out until I cant work out any more until I cant even think
>meditate
>cool cellie
>dude who delivers food gives me all the fucking apples I can eat
>I fucking love apples
>make a good living now no one gives a fuck about DUIs

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Audible kek

My cousin is hot af, I stole her crusty underwear and licked it clean while fapping to her big booty.

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we do, I've been on here since the /new/ days.

>everyone becomes a certified paralegal
lel aint it true though
>law and order 24/7
>jesus fucking christos what tard chose this
>I love law and order though so
>good times
Apparently letting a Quran hit the floor is like instant death penalty
>here read the Quran
>uh no thanks

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I spent 3 months in county jail on 5 grams of weed possession. Fuck Texas.

Burgling-while-black.

>I actually got like 3 months suspended with THREE FUCKING YEARS probation and they violated me at the end it was so fucked up
>That's some shit. Hope you're doing alright now.
three fucking years FORMAL probation btw yeah fucked up shit so yeah I was being an asshole to the cops in the tanks
>wtf i am a pretzel now
>no one fucked with me
>so many fights
My case was in 2003 it was so long ago but yeah I got street cred from my bros tho
>criminal university
>go in a geek come out a nazi
>good job america

I remember when I was in jail, people would ask and I'd give the details on how I was in for breaking a window and most would say they'd break a UCSB window when they got out.
The same thing happened at the VA and so many veterans would say they'd break a window.
None did.
They'd go out and buy, use or sell meth, heroin or crack but they wouldn't break a window.
Some even killed themselves but none would break a window.
I suppose it was the hardest and most unpleasant lesson I learned from my experience: American men are pussies.

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>I spent 3 months in county jail on 5 grams of weed possession. Fuck Texas.
Legit 3 months is a long fucking time, no idea how guys can do YEARS and not come out a legit fucked-in-the-head nazi murdered

2nd degree murder. Served almost 10 years inside, then paroled for several more.

You're retarded, and a huge danger to society. In a better world they would have just put you down instead of spending taxpayer money to keep you in a cage while knowing full well that you'll go on to do some dangerous shit when you get out one day.

most of the stormfags left years ago

I did 4 years in federal prison for wire fraud. Yes there was a shit ton of faggotry going on inside, pretty much all niggers will fuck other men and get their cock sucked by sissy boys. Other than that it was easy as pie, was 100% sober in there except for holidays I'd drink some hooch. Everyone is super segregated so whites all stick together and help one another out.

See what I'm talking about? Typical American pussy.

nope. I just got involved with the wrong people. I learned how to weld in prison, now I'm making good money as a welder on highrise construction.

>he cares about the welfare of current society
Cuck

Yes, I read more books than I had my entire life while in the joint. Lots of interesting ppl at the 1st prison I went to, lots of guys with degrees actually lol It was literally /sig/ while I was in there. You just have to stick with your own ppl.

Reading: Always a good skill in all cases !

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IRA.
Well, not really. My brother used to be a dealer and I'd drive around with him with his friend because 3+ people in a car usually meant a gun was present so you didn't get hit.
Police stopped us one day and found enough gear in my brother's glovebox that he got done for it. I also got done but to a lesser extent because I was 16 and it could be believed that I thought I was just out for a drive with my brother.

By "not really" I mean it was for IRA Paramilitary dealing, but not for like gun running or whatever

Yes. I came home to a group a negros raping my wife at gun point in London, and called them a mean word.

I was sentenced to life in prison but at least they gave me a Nintendo switch and iPad to post to here and Reddit in prison :0

I've never been to prison but I've been to jail a couple times for weed lol.

i was a good boy that dindu nuffins then some raciss pigs locked me up for no reason.

I would say prison is bad no matter what you did. Who the fuck wants to sit in a building full of dudes who broke the law? Jail was fucking lame and I was just in for drugs.

did you got caught helicoptering your dick on a crowded street in the middle of the day ?

I made a lot of money selling dude weed lmao in Washington state before legalization
our grower got his house raided after a cop was called for a domestic disturbance at his neighbors house and saw all the lights through the back window
he sang like Celine Dion
16 people charged 12 convicted

many such case

Yeah

I applied for a pardon and got it

2nd degree LARP. Threw hot pockets at mommy. Docked 35 good boy points

Nope and never had a run in with the Police.

Carried a spork in public while misgendering someone on twitter whilst watching an unlicensed TV in public.

Mate I’m going save you a lot of bother and hassle in your faggot life. Ur idea is shit move on.

need mo money fo dem programs

Fuck off nigger.

>whistles under breath

Sloppy job growham

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Fuckin a bro

You should have masked up and fucked up the prosecutor too

Murdering your mom's pussy

Even worked in some nut house time to shut you up
The feds can get fucked

I’m black

Cool
Im a skinhead and I dont give a shit about fucking hitler or any of that old bullshit

Just stand your fucking ground cunts