2019

>2019
>being degenerate

Explain yourself.

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please suggest another way to deal with the pain

Submitting to our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ, who died for your sins.

yes, I did that, but the pain persists. I trust in Christ, but the pain is unbelievable. I drink and fuck it away and I am sorry, but it's that or suicide. I can only beg forgiveness.

>I can only beg forgiveness

Go and tell it on the mountain, my brother.

Have you ever noticed that in the darkest places, when you are feeling most worthless and desperate, God is still there, waiting for you to come back to Him? You should take that onboard and think long and hard about where you are now and where you need to be going.

Nigga Mr. Rogers telling all the Gen X and Millennial kids they're unique and special snowflakes are the reason why everything's going to shit socially, retard.

I have done that too. the darkness persists. the answer that god gives me is an enormous mountain, and I am climbing, but I falter. I am not like a confused child looking for mom in the grocery store, I am like a starved, sleep-deprived prisoner trying but failing to swing the hammer and break the rocks. I can't find the nourishment I need to do what I'm called to do.

Who else unemployed and drinks smokes and gets high every night and ignores their qt gf and goes to bed at 5am barely an hour before she has to go to work every day for months now?

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When was the last time you went to church, friend?

I went a few weeks ago. I feel guilty every Sunday I miss.

how can you afford shit if you are not working? you need a job u piece of shit. it will impose you a schedule. do whatever shit job it takes. it will help.

You can't only beg forgiveness, because begging doesn't work. It's a gift given freely by Jesus. What your dealing with is self condemnation and guilt. Jesus will convict you of your sins and call you back towards a better path. He is not waiting with a paddle to punish you. He knew what he was getting with you the day he chose you. You can't surprise him with your sin. So don't be so hard on yourself because God/ Jesus has Nothing but pure 100% Grace waiting for you when you come home to him.

You are not alone. Really, truly, you're not. There are so many like you. We're all suffering, foundering in the dark, making mistakes, sinning, suffering, fucking up over and over and OVER AGAIN, asking ourselves: Why? WHY? Why...why God....why?

I don't have the answer to that. Probably nobody does. But I *know* that this is not the fate God intended for us...I know that we must have some higher purpose. If we're gifted enough to recognize that we're living in sin, then somewhere inside us must be the power to overcome it.

I kept trying to finish this post but I don't have the words. I just want you to know that I'm sincere and that you're loved, user.

well that's good because I'll need it.

you're saying "have faith."

And I do. Just no strength.

We'll see in time where God delivers us.

I actually have a very infrequent part time job that goes weeks between work, so not completely unemployed, and I made quite a bit of money off of investing in video card companies.

Can we do the "Fred Rogers was a sniper" thing now?

>you're saying "have faith."
>And I do. Just no strength.

Brother, the fact that you have faith is a huge strength in and of itself. Think of all the cunts who don't have faith in anything at all.

Just admitting you're weak is a monumental achievement. Having humility is one of the toughest things any of us can do. And the fact that we're talking about this on this absolute hellscape of a website? Think of all the shit you had to wade through until this moment. My dude, it's a long and winding road, but at least we're on it.

My leafy brother, I know exactly what you are going through. I feel like I'm reading my autobiography here.

What are you drinking tonight?

>Can we do the "Fred Rogers was a sniper" thing now?

I remember that meme. Wasn't the rest of the story that he was also some crazy drill sergeant who went ape on recruits constantly, then decided he'd never swear again or some such before he started his show?

pic related, though I'm on my last one and will have to take a walk to the liquor store tonight out in the thick of wildfire season, least I won't need a cigarette for the walk with how smoky it is out there

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thanks, and godspeed. bumpy road ahead.

>6.1%

Damn, I wish I was as sober as you right now. Pic related.

>and will have to take a walk to the liquor store tonight out in the thick of wildfire season

Is that a thing where you live too? I'm in Florida, we actually have government-mandated wildfires if you can believe that.

I finished off my last cigarette the other day. I'm trying to smoke something I found in an ashtray. I hate doing this, but...I keep doing it, you know? Yeah, I think you do know. Man, what's going on with us?

Godspeed brother. Are you planning to go to church this Sunday?

>pic related

If it wasn't obvious enough that I'm drunk...

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>I hate doing this, but...I keep doing it, you know?
Yah some days I think I'm just waiting for something in me to snap and I'll start caring more, but as these days go by I fear I may have become set in my ways.

Same but I'm trying to break out of it. Honestly sometimes God helps me deal with it. I pray to Him and say something like..."Let me just have a good night without drinking."

It worked last night, actually. I didn't drink one drop. Of course that was yesterday and now I'm working through a four pack of tallboys so hey. But I did have one good night...and that's better than I had last week.