Cool Wine Aunts

My sister is a cool wine aunt and all around roastie. 31 years old. Pathetic whore. She isn’t allowed around our kids alone because she might drop pills or LSD on the floor.

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>wine
the least cool of all alcoholic beverages
>aunt
the least cool of any familial relation

Who the fuck are these so-called "cool wine aunts" fooling?

I am an 18 y.o zoomer. Unmarried aunts feel so out of place at the Christmas dinner table. It’s reakly bothersome.

it's a blatant slide thread
SAGE

I usually fly 4 times a year. I love drinking in the airport. It's almost a tradition for me. I usually go with friends and get like 2 pitchers of beer in me before getting on the plane.

>tfw I am the cool beer uncle

Feels good so far... I'm 34 and my nephews love me. :)

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Also don’t fall for the conservative zoomer maymay. It is bullshit. What we are is radical. Far right, far left, and non political. There are very few moderate-right or moderate-left.

This.

Even young women won’t stfu about their dogs. Honestly if a bitch is obsessed with them it’s a dead give away for thottery and future wine aunt status.

Is your name Craig? Because if so this is your cousin Scott.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>maymay

Kys fag

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>bullshit
Elaborate you weeb. Making money off people you hate is patrician tier. Teach us your ways. What exactly are you selling?

>
>>
>>>
>>>>

Get drunk in the parking lot. TSA is usually cool enough, they are human too, I don't get any trouble from them.

That's cute but you have to vote for an actual candidate at the end of the day and as of right now your choices are moderate left and total cuck left

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>>tfw you are a neet that developed a product to sell to cool wine aunts
What are you selling to them?

My market research tell me that selling them spiritual bullshit is really profitable.
From tarot cards to magical stones.

That's how it is pronounced, faggot. Also, Garl Zagan is a faggot, too.

this. used to do road construction around the PNW. Constantly driving or flying from town to town to mill up some asphalt.

>mfw I miss getting trashed in airport bars and bs'ing with all the people I'd meet

Craig, Scott how the fuck could you let this happen?

lmao

>not having lounge access

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this

getting drunk with my uncles and grandpa is fuckin JOKES tho. We'll split a bottle of Johnny Walker and work on an old car (he's got a fuck ton). Sometimes my teenage cousins will come by and I'll let them sneak a drink when their dad ain't lookin. They're good boys. Love my family.

This. One of them should have at least knocked her up.

If you haven’t done it and live in a major metropolitan area, download Bumble and set the age range to 34-37. They all want kids “someday.” Bitch, you’re 35 and at SQUARE ZERO. you ain’t having kids.

BASED
Hike the prices every 5 years (because people are having too many kids)
basic white bitches LOOOOOOVE tarot cards and energy crystals. Start buyin' em on Aliexpress and resell them at 3x the cost at a whole foods farmer's market

I smell a lotta lulz here

got any screencaps

From just now

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What's really sad, is the cool wine aunts, the emcels, tend to be among the best of em...
They're intelligent, dedicated, confident, usually attractive and sexy... But there's a fatal flaw there somewhere.

Real question is how do I have sex with a cool wine aunt that likes young men

That little bottle is kid status: want someday, don’t want, have and don’t want more or have and want more.

Kikes stole our Wifus by turning them into wine aunts and femcels, Hans. We can not stand for this.

lurk moar newfag

you fucks are falling for bait anons
OP has fucked back to spamming shill threads by now
why can't you newfags contain yourselves when you see a bait post?

you're the newfag/shill and he's right, this is a fucking slide thread faggot

Truth. Unmarried uncles can be hilarious and fun. Unmarried aunts it's just like, "so uh, how much did you spend on my present this year?"

Craig here thanks for doxxing me, scott.

What was his name??
SETH RICH
redstate.com/elizabeth-vaughn/2019/06/16/mueller-report-raises-new-questions-seth-rich-murder-case/

Done that. I have thought about swiping right on all the post wall roasties with "want someday" and just straight up offering to cum in them and get them pregnant with the understanding that I won't be a big part of the kids life. Like I would be willing to hang with them a couple times a year, but no money and no living together.

I wonder if I could actually get a few white children made that way...

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Holy shit, Craig? What are you doing on here? Give me a call.

Do it and report back

Craig is Canadian though.

No this isn’t Craig, this is Scott. (American cousin). Is this Wesley?

This honestly makes me sad.

checked

That's degenerate behavior. You'll fuck over the kids life being raised by a single mother

Nah it's Kit here.

shut the fuck up

When I lived in a loft in the middle of Atlanta about half my neighbors were wine aunts. The stereotype is real. They're all annoying liberals but on the good side of things, there was always a couple hanging around that would give you a blow job just for having a few glasses of wine with them while they babbled on nonsense about their lives.
None of them were black. The black women go for apartments instead of lofts for the most part. The few black women in the building were oreos. They liked dating white men but expected an actual relationship. Cool wine aunts just expected your attention.

>Elaborate you weeb.
i don't know but i'm going to stream-of-consciousness retarded products that cool wine aunts would buy:
>organic herbal cat clensing and detox pills
>a wine coozy that keeps your wine at room temperature
>some bullshit wine stopper that is specifically engineered to let the wine breathe at a certain rate, with dials to adjust for different wine varieties that don't actually do anything
>social media website tailored to cool wine aunts, specifically designed to bash single men in their 40s and 50s who refuse to date them
>trader joe's 3 buck chuck repackaged into bottles with fancier labels and sold at a 3000% price
>gift cards for likes on facebook/twitter/instagram
>instagram filters that remove crow's feet, menopause mustache, and eye bags
>instagram filters that add crow's feet, menopause mustache, and eye bags
>regular make-up rebranded and advertised as multi-day makeup
>regular make-up rebranded and advertised as "cat-friendly make-up" with some blurb on teh box about how common make-ups are animal-based and thus your cat sees you as a different creature when you're wearing regular make-up. i'll write this blurb while drunk
>macbook covers with basic bitch feminist and cool wine aunt sayings plastered all over it
>a service that offers older men to fake that they're in a relationship with you so you can piss sally off, that bitch, or get your family to shut up about when you're going to find a man. for the low low price of $399.99 said man will be sure to embarrass himself in front of your friends and family in such a way that you can use that clever quip you thought of but never had a chance to use, making you look like a boss alpha female in front of others.
>a service of telephone operators who will call your phone every 23 minutes and say "watermelon watermelon watermelon..." while you yell into the phone and pretend that you're a boss at work and you're schooling some young white new worker at the company.

No Kit and all of my cousins are Canadians but my cousin Brian does live in Wales with his wife.

Kek

39 year old Asian with a graduate degree? She's already off the market, dating sites are fish in barrels for Asian women.

Looks cute. I bet the photo is 10 years old.
liberal
dogs
I'd bet she hates republicans... Hates trump voters.
Ladies 2/3 of men are politically right of centre. Eliminating them eliminates 2/3 of potential partners...
This guy:
> Tall
> Well built (works out, reasonable physique, not fat, or skinny)
> Confident, willful, determined
> Emotional strength (stoic)
> Intelligence
> Physically handsome (well proportioned features, good hair, teeth etc)
> Economically, intellectually and socially more successful than her
> Age: +5 years
> >>>>> Wants to get married > Wants to have kids

>liberal asian
yikes!

Craig, Scott, Kit, Wesley
are you there?
can you hear me? It's Cory! CALL ME

If you are businessman you are no longer neet

No, they're not going to pay your bail money this weekend. And don't call Nana, either!

lurk more

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is a viable marketing strategy to find a demographic and just assume that they are dumb as rocks and to treat them with thinly-veiled contempt in your product design and advertising?

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Back in my day we called them alcoholic spinsters.

If any Jow Forumstard had the SMV of your average slut then you'd all be spending your youth banging a different person each week.

>what is the 80/20 rule?

Literally 7 fucking dollars for one cider
Fuck that

will you buy me a BB gun and some beer

This is the funniest thing I’ve read all day.

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>airport bar is right next to burger king

how is this not political? These harpies have just as much of a voice in our (((democratic process))) as you do.

>>tfw I am the cool beer uncle
>Feels good so far... I'm 34 and my nephews love me. :)
The difference is that as a man, you can have your fun then settle down when you're 40 with a 30 year old and have kids, no problem. Roasties don't have this option unless they want to birth an autist.

There's some creative ideas in here. Maybe you should open up a shop in a downtown area or covered mall and see how it goes. I suggest naming your store "Trading Co." or "Outpost" to make it sound exotic like your target demographic ( e.g. Cool Wine Aunt Trading Co.).

Women never realize their own mistakes mthey will just grow bitter and blame men

Yah same my cool wine aunt was pretty hip but now I'm 32 and she's just old childless and single and I feel pretty bad for her.

welcome to newpol

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You plan to settle with a 30 year old?? Yikes
that's used up goods
Enjoy taking care of Tyrones cum dumpster

>tfw I went through TSA high as fuck on blow and was nervous as fuck

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top quality kek hombre

I understand why you were nervous, but please know that TSA is perhaps the most incompetent agencies ever. Even more so than the ATF

THIS. My wife smuggled pepper spray through Apelanta and nary a word was uttered about it.

Pilot here

Fake and gay. You cant bring your own alcohol in the airport

>drinking cider
do you have a vagina or a dilation hole?

No but you can buy it there. Nice try, fly guy.

You the Spirit bro from last month?

Bottles of wine? What u.s. airport can you buy bottles or boxes of wine, take it out, and drink it in the terminal?

No, Delta

Nice. Would you say you guys hire more 141 pilots than 61?

Lol new fags cant read and think this is a politics board

Nope, If either partner is 40 the chances of creating a mutoid are huge. Your biological clock is ticking too.

more white kids or less white kids
pick one faggot

It seems to work for whatever lefty identity group you care to name.

Isn't that all of advertising?

t. lonely alchy roastie