>be me
>be in woods
>I got a ten minutes head start
>It's not enough
>but I don't really want to get away
>but I don't want to make it easy either
>I've been training, I can run 1.5 miles in 8:45
>nowhere near good enough though
>CLACK CLACK CLACK
>clogs
>my head start is over
>CLACK CLACK CLACK
>she's speeding up
>I trip
>I'm terrified and excited
>CLACK CLACK CLACK
>she's already caught up
>I feel the straight edge of her jaw crash into the back of my head
>Her muscular arms flip me over like a pancake
>she tears my jeans in two with her bare hands
>I'm already erect
>I've been erect for days
>she grabs me by the throat and mounts
>no build up, she instantly hits me with a terrifying rhythm
>each time she comes back down I feel my hips start to shatter
>somehow she's speeding up
>I'm in agony
>and ecstacy
>my dick can't take it
>the banjo snaps
>I can feel blisters starting to form
>blood everywhere
>she speeds up more
>I knew I'd never walk again, but I'm not even sure I'll survive now
>I'm blacking out
>but I feel the white hot lava travelling up the old volcano shaft
>my eyes roll black
>colour bleeds out the world around me
>I feel as if every ounce of fluid in my body is being shot directly into her womb
>Vision is black now
>her hand is still round my throat
>it starts to losen
>she dismounts gently
>that's when the pain started to become apparent
>my hips are dust
>I feel tired
>but happy
>I welcome death now
>I have reached the pinnacle of life
>good night
Brit/pol/ : DAFFERS EDDIEITION
Other urls found in this thread:
theguardian.com
wordnik.com
youtube.com
archdaily.com
twitter.com
youtube.com
twitter.com
You are an Anal Buccaneer, you are a back door bandit, you are a cock gobbler, you are a pillow biter, you are a coprophiliac, you are a randy bumgardener, you are a knight of the pork sword, you are a rear admiral, you are a cockpipe cosmonaut, you are a shirt lifter, you are a sausage jockey, you are a bush dodger, you are a chimney bottler, you are a bunty man, you are a small bean regarder, you are a free willy, you are a fence foal, you are a bent ref, you are the crazy world of arthur brown, you are a shrub rocketeer, you are the unabummer, you are a nut administrator, you are a turd burglar, you are a sphincter saboteur and you dance to the beat of a different drum
fucking wall of text. this is brit/pol/, not /b/, post some fucking links next time.
>iS tHiS cHaRt AcCuRaTe?
WE WUZ KANGZ
Miss me yet, manlets?
theguardian.com
>Masculinity is a trap – which is why more men should wear skirts.
t. alberto barbossa
please for the love of god just fuck off you insufferable bald paki goblin
It's strange.
He's perhaps the best of the four but I also trust him literally 0%.
How dare you, sir? Daffers is ours.
put that in your pipe and smoke it
Didn't do the Scots any harm
Gib daffers
I just want Grayling GONE as Transport Secretary
>saving eddies shit pasta about his tranny wankpiece
user...
She;d crush your balls
>Didn't do the Scots any harm
user, I...
Just woke up lads
Is Master Brew sperging yet?
Inb4 le 37 faggots
> THREADLY REMINDER ONLY 34% OF THE ELECTORATE VOTED REMAIN
Actually lol'ing @ you boris fags who think you've won it already
bringing Daffers back. Based
i've been waiting for you, mr. bond
Boris is more memeable
>>be me
>>be in woods
>>I got a ten minutes head start
>>It's not enough
>>but I don't really want to get away
>>but I don't want to make it easy either
>>I've been training, I can run 1.5 miles in 8:45
>>nowhere near good enough though
>>CLACK CLACK CLACK
>>clogs
>>my head start is over
>>CLACK CLACK CLACK
>>she's speeding up
>>I trip
>>I'm terrified and excited
>>CLACK CLACK CLACK
>>she's already caught up
>>I feel the straight edge of her jaw crash into the back of my head
>>Her muscular arms flip me over like a pancake
>>she tears my jeans in two with her bare hands
>>I'm already erect
>>I've been erect for days
>>she grabs me by the throat and mounts
>>no build up, she instantly hits me with a terrifying rhythm
>>each time she comes back down I feel my hips start to shatter
>>somehow she's speeding up
>>I'm in agony
>>and ecstacy
>>my dick can't take it
>>the banjo snaps
>>I can feel blisters starting to form
>>blood everywhere
>>she speeds up more
>>I knew I'd never walk again, but I'm not even sure I'll survive now
>>I'm blacking out
>>but I feel the white hot lava travelling up the old volcano shaft
>>my eyes roll black
>>colour bleeds out the world around me
>>I feel as if every ounce of fluid in my body is being shot directly into her womb
>>Vision is black now
>>her hand is still round my throat
>>it starts to losen
>>she dismounts gently
>>that's when the pain started to become apparent
>>my hips are dust
>>I feel tired
>>but happy
>>I welcome death now
>>I have reached the pinnacle of life
>>good night
incel
Based Malteser head
Thunderbirds villain is just being magnanimous, what do you want him to say?
>lol glowing gonk btfo
So now that the dust has settled, this is a Gove general now?
Ew, Daphne Schippers. Gross.
Remember lads, we were stabbed in the back. The race could have still continued one, but the home front was compromised.
This.
Boris is going to do a softer brexit than May and the tory press will help sell it to the tory base as a harder brexit, all to preserve the two-party system.
This, he will not deliver brexit, he will just mumble on about making a deal
does he have a mini me?
You reckon?
Low test detected
Brit/pol/ has always been the GoveCove
>my sides entering orbit without a loicence
fucking hell, you guys are forever best allies, but god damn you bongs are crazy
pfffhahaha
Why must you keep trying to force this shit meme
Philosopher king benevolent leader with populist tendencies is the type of leader this country needs
he's 100% boy's club, and only supported brexit because he thought Remain would win.
QUOITE FRANKLY
WE ARE SIGNING YOUR FACKIN DEATH WARRANT, SUNSHOINE
Rory on the left
Why are you so mad that Gove is going to win?
Calm down, bosh some flake
coke poster is scared of saveloys
Shove it up your arse MR SPEAKER
i'd give her my saveloy
>all 27 MPs back Sajid Javid
>Final ballot to membership is Boris Johnson vs a bald paki
Why even bother? It may as well be Tony Blair vs Sajid Javid, and Javid would still lose
Daffers?
Daffers.
He was a remainer for his whole career until just before the referendum.
Boris is going to be even worse than May and the ERG have already begun freaking the fuck out over what he's been saying. The only difference we will see from here on is that Mogg will be in the cabinet and stick to the Boris line which will alienate the rest of the ERG as people realise that Mogg has sold everyone out.
>GoveCove
I know you love him for what he wrote about you but Stop forcing this shite meme Mr. Portillo
incel
/govecove/ gang
No chance the Tory base will buy it if he tries
They'll switch to Brexit Party at GE if he shafts them
>porco rosso
I didn't know coke poster was actually based
archdaily.com
Where’s your bridge lad???
>called up Farage's LBC show once
>wanted to give my input on Trump bombing Assad as an /sg/ fag
>Suddenly halfway through the show our nige changes topic to the prospect of brits being able to get blue passports back after brexit
>as soon as we connect I start autisming
>have to pretend like I give a shit and came off as overly passionate for something I don't give a shit about
>the clip got spread around the #FBPE cult on twitter and people were calling me stupid
bad feel
Calm down lad and accept your next PM???
mandatory sesh for keancels like you
I meme for Gove as much as the next guy but do not be fooled if Michael is in power he will be worse than any of us can possibly imagine
twitter.com
Pick out the best seethe, lads.
Maybe, just maybe
kek
Opium Rory was CHAD drug take vs Virgin Coke Gove
>tfw no manly gf to crush me in bed
>ERG have already begun freaking the fuck out over what he's been saying.
the fun part is going to be when the tory papers step through the looking glass and start acting like Boris is more euroskeptic than the ERG.
I'm just hoping that Boris Johnson wants a legacy better than May, so he goes with the October deadline to not end up like May
Yes and only for his no-deal pro EU position by Remainer Liberal twats
Yes, it should have been Rory.
Ken Clarke once said if Michael Gove became Prime Minister we would invade three countries all at once.
Take the stoic pill
When's the next vote?
>all the people supporting him are people who don't vote Tory
who could have seen this coming?
tomorrow
Nobody bought it when May tried to do it, why would they buy it from Boris?
Ken Cuck is a fat slob though tbf
btfo
>Boomer neighbours are currently discussing getting rid of their hedging and trees to replace it with fencing.
Another blow to the natural world
I'm joining the Gove Gang
how do we crush them?
>if it were down to the public, i honestly think @RoryStewartUK could have been our next prime minister. this race has proven to us that you can get just as far by being kind, truthful and compassionate. #RoryWalksOn @roryforleader
This one is hilarious though:
>It was an absolute pleasure to meet you in Derby Rory. You listened to people’s points of view like no politician and proposed a pragmatic solution to Brexit. Your time will come, the country needs Rory. #RoryWalksOn
The kid's profile description?
>meme rapper, law student, journalist and several other things reviled by wider society
vuh trees
vuh mud
vuh grass
if only ted krabisknyky was here so i could swallow his thick loads and spit them out in order to birth new life...
kek
the "high tories" are so fucking cringe
lyl didn't expect that to happen
by destroying social media and this celebrity worship culture we live in
in other words you can't
I wish I could chew on a thick saveloy right now
hivemind
>pragmatic solution
????
the Tory base didn't know what a customs union was until it was explained to them that it mattered somehow, most of the voters don't understand international trade at all and are voting out of vaguely-defined anxieties about immigrants.
Boris just has to do a milquetoast Trump impression; plus you're assuming Corbyn actually wants to be elected. seriously we're about to enter the bizarrouniverse.
your average "high tory"
heroin if true
Wtf is going on in the background?
how does he do it?
how does he manage to make himself look like the most ugly motherfucker on the scene?
even the blue haired bint in the back looks fuckable in this pic