Without a single infallible interpreter how do you interpret scripture? Can anyone interpret scripture however they want? Wouldn’t that lead to a lot of degeneracy in the church?
Question for Protestants
Julian Wright
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Julian Carter
Josiah Perez
Aaah yes, the good ol'e Christianity, well let's take a look at it shall we? Let's examine what is exactly a Christian first.
A Christian (also known as a chris-chan) is a special kind of zealous Yahweh fanboy or fangirl. Christians are unique in that they have a sexual obsession with a Jew hating Jew who lived roughly 2000 years ago named Hesus Cristi. They are well known for rejecting science in all its forms and ironically, themselves serve as proof that there is no intelligent design. They believe there is a vast secular conspiracy to exterminate their ilk by not forcing kids to pray to their deity and taking the word "God" off of coins. The next logical step would be to feed them all to lions. They will accuse YOU of hating Jesus. Why do you hate Jesus?
A typical Christian's MO in the universe from the day their are miserably conceived and thrust into this world is to seek out the most promising scientific mind possible and destroy it, to be replaced with their moronic blithering stubbornness.
Christ fandom is one of the oldest, with a history that spans continents and centuries. To suggest to a fundamentalist (hardcore) Christian that the Bible is poorly-written fiction will probably result in you being burnt at the stake. Christians, like furries, are often very defensive about their degeneracy.
Xavier Davis
The most important day of the year for Christians is Easter, when, as jewish corporate legend would have it, Jesus Christ burst forth from a giant chocolate egg to save you from your sins. The second most important day of the year is Christmas, where Jesus gained 200 pounds in a matter of days (à la Tim Allen in that shitty movie) and then murdered the first born sons of all the heathens Moses-style.
Christians follow a religion that was created by the Jews to serve Jewish purposes. Basically, the Jews convinced half of the world to worship their evil tribal god YHWH, and even to worship a batshit crazy kike pariah named Jesus as "God in human form". Subconsciously this affects Christians in a severe way, causing them to associate the Jews closely with God, which has allowed the Jews, always a clever lot, to control societies for ages.
Something you may not know: The vast majority of Christians are in fact homosexuals in denial. This is emphasized by the morbid self-abhorrence displayed by the dumb shits in this video about faggot marriage.
>youtube.com
Thomas Wilson
Adrian Ward
H I S T O R Y:
According to the Bible, at least 100 years ago, Jesus of Nazareth? was born in Israel to an unmarried Arab couple: a carpenter and a 14-year-old bitch whom God paid ten cents to love Him longtime that was cheating with some other dude. Jesus was born in a barn, surrounded by animals because his parents were poor as shit. He was an asshole growing up, running away from his parents to heal lepers and drink wine in temples with hobos. Jesus is known to have made up some crazy shit and told everyone that God told him to say it. But of course, we now know that it was just all the acid.
When he was older, lots of people liked him and invited him to their parties because he could (allegedly) turn water into wine and make bread and fish appear out of nowhere. He also (allegedly) made people come back from the dead and ruined everyone's fun by healing aspies and everyone else that had mental disorders and made them normal members of society.
Eventually, people got pissed off at him for ruining their fun and using shitty box wine. Seeing the opportunity, Karl Rove advised Pontius Pilate on how to murder Jesus and become the leader of Israel, which at that point was owned by Rome. Eventually, Jesus was nailed to a cross, though he came back to life three days later. Jews were just as power/money-hungry then as they are now, so they told everyone that Jesus died for his followers and anyone who did everything "Jesus" said could go to heaven. They also made up stories and told people Jesus said them, then they wrote them in 66 different books that collectively make up The Holy Bible. Jesus's devoted followers actually believed this shit, and thus, Christianity was born.
Ayden Carter
B E L I E F S:
Ten Commandments
1-4: All about kissing god's ass, nothing to do with being a good person. Fuck you, it's all about the Jesus.
5: Children should respect their parents, nothing about parents respecting their children.
6, 8, & 9: Actions that every single society practices, even atheist ones. Christianity doesn't own them.
10: You're not allowed to think certain things, despite the fact that people only better themselves when they want what others have. Oh, and it's ok to have slaves (which many bibles amusingly translate as "servants" in this passage.)
Nothing about rape, abuse, corruption, slavery etc.
T H E O T H E R T E N C O M M A N D E M E N T S:
The other ten commandments are in Exodus 34. The first two are "commit genocide", and "srsly: commit genocide". Most of the rest are bullshit ceremonial practices. But this one is fascinating:
19 “The first offspring of every womb belongs to me, including all the firstborn males of your livestock, whether from herd or flock. 20 Redeem the firstborn donkey with a lamb, but if you do not redeem it, break its neck. Redeem all your firstborn sons.
Note the lack of any mention of what happens to the children of slaves. Do you think the hebrews redeemed them (buying them back form Jehovah) at the rate of 1 shekel per crotchnugget? Of course not. There are several spots in the pentateuch where Jehovah clearly insists on human sacrifice.
This is one of them. The whole business with Jesus was about God requiring a human sacrifice - it's what Christianity is basically about. Nevar Forget!
Logan Ramirez
J E S U S:
Christian mythology revolves around a Gary Stu by the name of Jesus. Jesus was a Jewish carpenter who was born from a 16-year-old girl, who got knocked up after she was encountered by an angel. After failing in his first job as a carpenter, Jesus became a magician, developed a huge fetish for BDSM, and became an hero for your sins.
As if this isn't ridiculous enough, Christians also believe that you must pray every day to his undead corpse to remove the evil from your soul that was put there by an all-loving God because a rib-woman ate an apple offered to her by a talking snake who was actually Satan.
Christians will only argue about Christianity if you agree to four preconditions:
All information in the Bible is true, except when it's in metaphors.
Jesus eats your sins so that you can go to Skyland.
There is one God and He is real (and male). No exceptions.
...therefore, Christianity is the one and only Truth. QED.
and remember, there is also a list of guidelines to attacking the book of Revelation:
If any strange occurrence listed in that book happened in any order remotely close to that written in Revelation, Jesus! The prophecy is being fulfilled, REJOICE!
If you are arguing that an occurrence directly contradicted this book of divine vision, you must be reading it out of context.
If you can prove that you're speaking in the proper context, and Revelation is still being contradicted, it must be in GOD'S CONTEXT.
If the point is made multiple times outside of the context it is written in for that particular phrase, it must be a parable.
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO QUESTION GOD'S WORD ANYWAY. All questions will be answered when the Hale-Bopp comet arrives, and takes us to the level above human. Adventist are the ultimate Jew-Christians and should be ass-raped.
Disclaimer: Most Christians probably couldn't read that anyway.
Dylan Jones
C H R I S T I A N S A N D S E X:
Unlike certain other religions, Christianity isn't big on giving you prescriptions (what you can or should do). Rather, Christianity is all about the proscriptions (what you can't do under penalty of God-delivered lightning bolt) to the genitals. Leastwise one good thing can come out of fucking a Christian girl. They are more likely to have anal sex since they cannot have Vaginal sex until they are married. It's not gay if he's under 13... right?
Following the tenets of Christianity can't have sex with:
Anyone outside of marriage.
Animals. Which means furries can't be Christians. Even religion has its upsides.
People of your own gender.
Members of your own family. (Unless you are Lot's daughters and have booze Genesis 19: 30-39)
A woman who is on her period.
...or even your own hand.
Funny thing is, pedophilia is never mentioned in the Bible as a form of sexual immorality. So Catholic priests touching altar boys is awwwright according to 3,000 year old anachronistic scripture written by hallucinating drunkards.
Given these brutal restrictions, it is no surprise that sex scandals are common among the Christian aristocracy. The type of scandal varies by denomination:
Protestants: Leave their wives to run off with teenage sluts.
Evangelicals/Fundamentalists/Neoconservatives: Caught in gay sex scandals, despite being rampant homophobes. Example: Ted Haggard, busted for repeatedly hiring and smoking meth with (but supposedly not having sex with) gay prostitutes.
More ironic is that they oppose homosexuality yet regularly practice sexual repression, believing fornication to be a sin and that Jesus will punish you for even masturbating or having lustful thoughts about a woman. (What better way to prevent homosexuality than convincing men that being attracted to women is evil? lol).
Brandon Myers
The Bible is very straightforward and Jesus explains his teachings in multiple easy to understand ways. I don’t see why I need a special interpretation when I can read it myself.
Brandon Ramirez
T H E B I B L E:
“If no one was in the world was a Christian and you magically found a bible, you would not believe in all of the bullshit presented.„ ~ Some guy named Philip with the truth
The Bible is a boring space opera where God, a bipolar intergalactic tyrant, fucked everyone over who ever thought of crossing him in an effort to show them who wore the pants.
Despite his repeated ruination of mankind, he eventually grew tired of killing off nearly all of the population of which he created and forcing them to incestuously reproduce because he's such a nice guy. He does, however, hate fags. Just ask his favorite manslave, Fred Phelps.
All Christians are hardcore fans of the Bible and will literally stab you in the face if you do not immediately embrace their exact view of God. This exact view conveniently ignores Jesus' explicit prohibitions against self defense and divorce while embracing imaginary prohibitions against drugs. They reject basic scientific facts due to skepticism, yet in a stunning twist, they believe fucking everything written in any book labeled "The Bible", regardless of how unbelievable it is.
Oddly, that guy's name is southpaw, and left-handed people are EVIL according to the bible (that's where the term "sinister" comes from, TEH MOAR U KNO!)
Thomas Scott
T H E B I B LE 2: S P E C I A L E D I T I O N 2-D I S C S E T:
Most Christians are split between the canon original (aka Old Testament) and the money grabbing reboot (aka New Testament). There's also the shitty fanfic spinoff of the New Testament (aka The Book of Mormon), which somehow manages to be even more batshit crazy than the canonical Bible to the point that even real Christians won't go near it, and there is much debate as to which version is best. Clearly, you can trust Encyclopedia Dramatica to give you advice on such matters.
OLD TESTAMENT:
Starting from the beginning of all life as we know it, we learn of God and the mysterious ways of how he rolls. The majority of the Old Testament is made up of telling a lulzy world history that science would've made boring (one must admit, "And on the 3,749,158th day, the amorphous blob grew leg-like appendages" isn't very inspiring when framed and hung up on some redneck's wall). The lulz stem from whenever God, seeing that his creation is plagued with sinners and evil, decides to troll IRL. These included actions such as flooding the entire world, creating the concept of foreign languages just to confuse everybody, slaughtering innocent children, and destroying everyone and everything having anything to do with a city full of faggotry.
However, God has shown a kinder side, as that last act caused him to give a similar city a second chance by sending some self-righteous asshole to tell them to cut it out. They did, but this wasn't enough for the man. Miles away, the man commanded God to kill them anyway, hoping to lulz with God. The man waited for days, but God, feeling untrollish, ignored him, turning him into a weeping husk of a man. God let him die, leaving him and the world a message: "God is not your personal army." The rest of the Old Testament is boring as desiccated dog shit.
Also nice breaking my streak faggot
Hunter Harris
NEW TESTAMENT:
It's a bit like the Old Testament, but with 100% more Jesus, and a lot less of God's awesome wrath. Basically, Jesus goes around, impressing people with His ability to hack into reality (and put Goatse everywhere), sharing his wisdom and love for his children and flipping tables over. He also says the Old Testament should be ignored. Many claim he was the only perfect man. Emphasis on "only", and for good reason: nobody could stand him. They couldn't take anymore of his anus perpetually crapping out moralfaggotry, so they nailed him to a tree. Shortly afterwards, the guy who grassed him up decided he'd gone too far, so he became an hero. Not much else happens, except for Armageddon, which involves Wal-Mart and demons using our heads as toilets (No, seriously).
This half of The Bible is the one more universally accepted as the shiny, happy, family-friendly version of God. As such, it was perfect material for a great, fun-for-the-whole-family movie, which would be called The Passion of the Christ. A three-hour guro flick, every God-fearing mother dragged their kids to see it saying that the R-rating means that the material is a sensitive subject that is told in a manner that isn't sugar-coated, and is intended for persons mature enough to handle it, like their 6-year-old son. Despite this glimmer of intelligence, this logic is never, ever applied to any form of media unless it involves how great and superior Christianity is (The Godfather, despite also featuring Italian thugs, was a waste of celluloid).
Carter Anderson
>without a single infallible interpreter
You might enlighten us on how YOU manage this one as well.
If the pope is the vicar of Christ, as you assume, then he holds many beliefs not found in the bible OF ANY TRANSLATION.
Do you follow your assigned interpreter, or do you protest what he does that you disagree with?
Ryder Flores
OY OY OY
Dylan Murphy
What uneducated Neet you are, seek help
Nolan Wood
I'm going to uni this year, been in college for two years. Fuck off judenović
Hudson Hernandez
Your future, user. If you're wrong.
Jackson Russell
There were no Arabs in the Levant, then. They didn't come for another 600 years.
Michael Flores
>Omniscient, all knowing, all powerfull God
>Throws into "ETERNAL" lake of fire for finite crimes we commited on short life on Earth
Your God isn't good and never will be faggot.
Sebastian Evans
>Also taking the obvious bait that mocks Christianity
Kys
Henry Hall
If you're interpreting it, you're doing it wrong. You're supposed to read it literally.
Jack Fisher
Who gives a fuck about your stupid kike desert cult? Fuck off.
Grayson Reed
You take everything literal and as true and if you have faith you'll be guided by God. It's why I can look at Catholic doctrine and laugh at how they miss Galatians 5 and believe Mary was sinless (lol wut, the thought of foolishness is a sin and is there anything more foolish than interrupting Jesus when he's preaching?).
I mean you're right, most people will be wrong, but that's what Jesus said. Strait is the gate and narrow is the way. Btw that's more proof against the Catholic church, how many members do you have? They're ALL going to heaven? That's not what I'd call "few"
Jaxson Edwards
Mocking Christianity will get human trash like you chucked into the fire. Take it or leave it; is Gods offer. Eternal bliss or eternal torment.
Justin Sullivan
He sounds like a warlord when he says "Take my gift or I will punish you", and I am like "is this what would real God do?"... Of course the answer is no, because God is not a dictator, but Abrahamic God sure is one.
Sebastian Cooper
Imagine being so enamoured by the odor of your own farts that you think you're a better moral barometer of morality than God, who is the sole dictator of what is "good". What a douche you are Ivan, very small brained.
Xavier Jackson
Your choice sucker. Choose eternal fire and God will respect your choice.
Wyatt Stewart
God is bigger than human comprehension. Our worldly ideas of what is good are extremely malleable and changable. Worldly standards are literally dictated by Prof. Shekelstein's from the bully pulpit of the university. Turn away from that and turn instead to our lord and savior Jesus Christ. The kingdom of heaven is near.
Eli Evans
Blessed are the eyes of those who can see, and blessed are the ears of those who can hear. It is not the diction of a leader given power by rank that interprets the Bible, but a leader recognized for their ability to articulate genuine understanding. All institutions organized by men can become corrupt, this is evidenced by the first churches themselves being led astray and needing to be reigned in by those who could truly see. Not everyone can truly understand the Bible. The Catholic church for centuries was trusted to interpret the Bible given their structure for selecting those who could understand to lead their flocks. This is no longer the case, as the Church has been poisoned by the machinations of men. Now, in order to find truth through scripture, we must seek those who we trust to interpret scripture with understanding. Until the Church is purged of parasites and is brought back onto the path to righteousness there can be no acceptance of it's new teachings, for there can no longer be trust in those selected to teach.
Does this mean Protestantism is the way? No. Protestantism and the discarding of those valuable church fathers that did have the gift of sight is foolish. Instead we need an enlightened one who understands the apostles, respects the saints, and honors those valuable church fathers that articulated the faith. For now it is best to seek that enlightenment individually, until such a time that Catholics recognize that they ought to purge their ranks with righteous fire as proclaimed by Christ when he said to defend the faith.
Josiah Nelson
The single infallible interpretor of Scripture was Christ
The entirety of the relevance of the ancient Hebrew religion was fulfilled in Christ and was completed in his return in judgment to Jerusalem in AD70
Juan Gomez
Very low IQ take, if your premise were true that the Catholic church HAD authority, it would remain in authority because Jesus said on this rock I build my church and the gates of hell won't prevail against it.
Andrew Rogers
>217973960
>217974036
>217974492
FAGGOTS AHAHAHAHA
Jack Stewart
Peter wasn't the first pope. Ooops! Was he ever pope, at all?
Also, if the pope is infallible, how come papal opinions change so much? With so many to choose from, how do you decide on a papal dictum?
> inb4 shut up shut up shut up go away
Austin Russell
It is the God's choice, not mine when I do not have free will according to the Bible.
Ryder James
The Catholic Church kept the bible under lock and key and banned its faithful from reading it. Men were burned at the stake for translating the bible into the vernacular(common language). The rise of the Protestant heresy shows the wisdom of the Church in suppressing this book.
Carter Baker
>infallible interpreter
What a disgusting concept.
This is what I don't get about Catholics (and Orthodox). If you need an INFALLIBLE MAN (pretty nutty concept there) to "interpret" the Bible, what the fuck good is even having the Bible? Just ignore the Bible entirely, and have that INFALLIBLE MAN tell you what is up. The Bible is just a middleman at that point.
Which is basically what you idiots do anyway.
Blake Brown
And who decided on which scripture was infallible? And who decided on who decided?
And did you know that there are books in the NT that modern, honest scholarship believes are not by who they claimed to be?
youtube.com
It comes down to faith, user - and like sausage, if you want to enjoy it, you don't want to look too closely at what went into it.
Camden Gray
>I do not have free will according to the Bible.
Nigger what? How damned are you that you can't even understand the Bible? Are you a full on reprobate faggot NPC? It's looking likely.
Luis Bell
Degeneracy like saying jews go to heaven?
Oliver Ortiz
I never claimed it had authority, I claimed it had our trust. When the cathedrals of the church are staffed with homosexuals priests, fornicators, pedophiles, egalitarians, and all manner of perverse clergy it is time to recognize what rot has taken this once prized institution.
The Church of Christ is one of transcendent quality, beyond the machinations of men. The Truth will remain always unpervertable by the darkness in men and cannot be destroyed by any amount of wickedness. Always, the Truth will remain perfect. In this way the Church of Christ has been established and cannot be overturned, for so long as there are men there will be those who have the gift of sight of that which is Truth.
Juan Edwards
... ooooh - didn't notice - you're a Preterist. Got to give it to you guys, you try the best of anyone to make sense of the NT.
Jose Jones
Shut the fuck up retard, why did God didn't already acknowledged to us that he was real when we were apes and instead waited for some 4 billion years to create us all so he could punish us if we do not believe in him, does not matter if you are a criminal who does not follow his laws or a very good person, you are going to Hell if you do not believe in him. Seriously fuck off with your kike shit you retards.
Carter Parker
>when we were apes and instead waited for some 4 billion years
You actually believe that? lol
Robert Turner
No. It leads to libertarianism. Every amish family has its own Interpretation, typical german Eigenbrötlerei. Schwartzentrubers are most conservative family.
Ayden Jackson
>how do you interpret scripture? Can anyone interpret scripture however they want?
If its inspired by God shouldn't it be impossible to read wrong?
Connor Walker
>Lmao why do you believe in something logical as evolution
>t. retard who has been spoonfeded by the Bible
Oh are you one of those autistic Creationists? Wow, such knowledge, such IQ, such brain power wowowowowo…. Please die faggot, even Ancient Egypt knew that Earth was round, and no, Lucifer did not put the fucking bones all over the place for no good reason if you believe in that.
Ian Taylor
If there is a man who is all-powerful and all-knowing and made everything how can you say you make any choices? He already made your choices for you
Gabriel Hughes
is this copy pasta or something, just pure stupidity. i hope its bait
Jaxon Perez
>sodomy is permitted for Christians
wew lad
Brayden Peterson
>nothing about being a good person has to do with parents
Camden Evans
>you cant interpret truth for your self, but you can understand mine
Carter Adams
i think you are right, but there is still human error, ether willful or not.
Owen Wilson
This meme doesn't make any sense.
Why would Jews fear Christianity?
Jews today don't fear Christianity, in fact, most Christians I know are staunch supporters of Jews and Israel on a confident biblical basis. "Jews are god's chosen people" "Jews are the lost sheep of Israel" "Jesus is going to come back and reconcile the Jews back to himself" etc etc.
Jace Bailey
because he aloud you to make them? you own a dog but not necessarily put him in a cage his whole life
Brandon Smith
youtube.com
you gota learn a little bit about history guy, or pick up a bible
Brayden Fisher
>most Christians I know are staunch supporters of Jews and Israel
i wonder why....
John Davis
funny thing is, most of Germany was catholic and protestant in those glory days.
Nathaniel Long
I'm a Preterist in regards to semitic religions, yes
Namely in that their God has abandoned them
In regards to other religious views, I hold almost nothing in common with contemporary Christians, whose entire dogma was made up within the last one thousand to fifteen hundred years ago, and takes almost nothing of value from Hebrew Scripture itself
Wyatt Morris
That's one of the reasons they supported Hitler, he guaranteed the protection of Christian values.
Lucas Brown
All which is potential is set in stone by the transcendental structure of existence. Being the author of that transcendental structure, God knows all that we can do and will do. Free will is the choosing of what potential manifestation we want according to our values. God knows every choice we can ever make in all potential chains of causality and in that way he knows our future. Through our use of free will we make the choices as to how we will live our lives and that choosing establishes the potential as actual. If we choose to choose according to our best articulation of objective morality, for instance by using the Bible and Christ as a guide, then we will choose for that potential life which sees our souls reach their most divine manifestation. If we choose to turn our backs on the objective morality, for instance through hedonism and egalitarianism, then we choose for that potential life which sees our souls degenerate into their most wicked manifestation.
All pathways we can choose are known to God. What we choose is up to us. The future is being actively created by our free will within the confines of existence that is the transcendental structure of existence authored by God.
Leo Carter
do you know anything about the sexual revolution that was happening in Germany in i believe 1933? clear reason for a crusade that.
Owen Wood
I know about Weimar degeneracy; Hirschfeld and his institute for sexualwissenschaft, research trying to justify homosexuality, first tranny operations, rampant prostitution, etc. it all started around the early 1920's if my memory serves me right.
Nicholas Torres
nice, never even heard of that, thanks man, i needed this information
Eli Robinson
Cathlic and Orthodox "qualified interpreters" somehow came to the concept of bones being holy.