I write for this guy and am having a blank. Quick...

If you want to do a quality shitpost, you should know that he's off the air for a month, so no show next friday.

include me in the screencap

YOU LEAVE MY CULVER’S OUT OF THIS YOU ASSHOLE REEEEEEEEE

“What’s the deal with milkshakes suddenly being a bad thing? A few years ago it brought all the boys to the yard. It’s like make up your mind, amirite?”
>uproarious laughter and clapping from audience

report all portland cement attacks to the portland cement police

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What do you call an Antifa milkshake?
>The Holocaust never happened and Jews control every major industry.

The whole Cement Milkshake thing, that's just a misunderstanding... see, we need to replace all the confederate statues we tore down.

In other news, this week at a protest in Portland a 5'6 Asian YouTube journalist was assulted and had milkshakes thrown on him by Antifa members. The last time I heard the words "Asian" and "milkshake" together in the news was George Takei using them to lour people over to his table at his birthday celebration.......at the Mcdonalds playland.

"Antifa thugs mixed cement with milkshake and threw it at Ngo. They would have used bricks as weapons, but they are too heavy for them to lift."

Yeah, ok dork. Get a life. It was an idea for a thread

A true Bill Maher joke has him laugh during the set-up, after the set-up, and then after the punchline.

leaf larps are worst larps

>giving a jewish comedian a joke for free

what a faggot leaf. fucking typical

Just do some lame bit shit about a random fast food company and their bad milkshakes, in true Daily Show fashion.

Beat you to it, man.

Lol imagine being such a fag you actually know this Jews schedule

"counterprotestors have taken to throwing cement milk shakes at alt-right activists. RELIGION. Am I right, audience?"

Not to be outdone, McDonald's announced a new product for the growing Nazi cement-shake market. It's called the McBrick. Their slogan is "You deserve a break today, in your temporal cranium."

I prefer my milkshakes with Jew cum

Play some Pierre Schaeffer in the background.

Sharing a drink is often a great way to cement friendships; to lay the foundations of a solid relationship. Pour out a cold one today - you'll need it for the chemical burns.

Cement milkshakes - hard liquor for heavy drinkers.

It's the new Mafia execution style - you no longer get the cement overshoes, you get the cement colon. A gut so impacted that not even Mexican food and cheap beer would shift it.

Some drinks you order with a quick shot of lime - this one comes with a shot of quick-lime.

I said it had always been my dream to get blind drunk in the French capital - plastered in Paris. Not go blind after drinking plaster of Paris.

They need to take one of these special milkshakes to the guy whose arm they broke - they can do him a cast on the spot.

And you thought the regular shakes were too thick to drink...?

Thanks folks, I'm here all week. Try the veal! It's actually not very good, I just like the idea that they murder baby cows to get it!

Folks the only thing worse than getting hit with a cement filled milkshake is the REPUBLICANS.

"A few guys living in a cave brought down 3 building with 2 planes." That always makes me laugh.