Quickest way out of the army?

Become the homosex?

The army is too soft for me and it’s the literal biggest waste of time. But this method is pretty damn good. Easy and silent

this

Shoot yourself in the dick.

fake depression/suidical thoughts

35l

Best way out is to complete your contract.
But you could also get fat. You'll be treated like a piece of shit for however long it takes for them to boot you as a lard-ass.
Or you could neck yourself in the on post burger king bathroom. Saw that one once.
Also, your NCOs don't suck. You do.

Get caught with a dick in your mouth

low key tho don't get a dishonerable discharge. I hear that really fucks with you after you leave the military

Blow your hand off with a grenade. When it comes time to do grenade training pull the pin wait three seconds and then throw the pin.

openly discuss the JQ

this or talk about politics in any way

checked

Enjoy your big chicken dinner and working with niggers for minimum wage for the next 10-15 years until you can lawyer your way into a general discharge. suck it up, do your fucking 3 or 4.. and get on with your life.

Tell them you hate jews and that you wanna blow up israel

Maxwell Q. Klinger

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Lucky bastard. Stick with it, don't fail your PT test.

Pretty sure my nco’s suck if their all still staff sergeants while being in for 11-15 years then boast about being promoted quicker just because they became some gay instructor. The army is shit and it’s because of their leadership. Not me

Get a swastika tattoo on your forehead

I unintentionally got out of the Air Force with a discharge "under honorable conditions" because of "pattern of minor infractions." I was in England and most of these were not getting my fucking "vehicle circle" or whatever the fuck they call it on my car. Basically do your actual job fine but "forget" about minor details and eventually they'll get rid of you. At least in the Chair Force.

Pic future OP

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not the guy you responded to.. but, the fact that you are on Jow Forums trying to jew your way out of your contract tells us all we need to know about YOU.

>60 days
Navy office here, if you're within 180 days of entry (as in, signing the papers) you can get out of jail free. I don't know what exactly it's called but it's basically failure to adapt.

USE AND ABUSE THE ARMY U FUCK. You have access to everything on how to build a nuke reactor to learning how to be james bond.
If you have a HIGH demand MOS use it to go to cool training schools and shit etc. Fulfil your contract and get out with a honorable discharge.

fake schizophrenia

checked
you know what to do OP

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Go streaking through the mess hall

get fat

Don't be a faggot TEL THEM NO DISMISS YOU OR HURT YOU.

They're kike owned, they'll let you go

You have to have someone say that you failed to adopt. You can't just decide it on your own.
Just do this. If you're not infantry it can't be that bad. Suck it up and go to college for free.

>USE AND ABUSE THE ARMY U FUCK. You have access to everything on how to build a nuke reactor to learning how to be james bond
Stop smoking crack

He's in fucking counterintel AIT.
If he's dumb enough to throw away that kind of carrer, he never deserved it in the first place.

Start talking about how much you hate Israel and jews to your peers where your superiors can hear you.

quickest way? eat a shotgun blast for breakfast! but that has some side affects

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Lie on your security clearance. Fail your tests for your career.

>Failure to adapt discharge
Depends on the branch of service and how starved for bodies they are. The Marine Corps will just fuck around with you until you fall outside that window and just send you to the brig, then BCD you, a year or two later. When you could have just finished your initial enlistment, instead.

Chronic masturbation syndrome.

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>You have to have someone say that you failed to adopt. You can't just decide it on your own.
The senior enlisted in your boot camp group will do it in a heartbeat, trust me. I'm actually super drunk right now but if you really want to get out of the military drop your contact info and I'll see it when I sober up in the next 24 hours.

What a dumb whiny faggot. I'd advise you to pick up rank, as that is the beast way to make your experience more bearable. But you're clearly too much of a cunt to do anything but complain.
You want out? Kill yourself

This
Smoke some weed right before piss-in-cup day

He will just get put into the slave force, doing menial and undesirable tasks and jobs lowly rewarded, you think the military tolerated some people being dissatisfied as a means to leave?
You're property and anything severe enough will just see you in jail.

I miss this type of 4chin

They have pork-chop platoons now specifically designed to get your ass into shape. You'll be there your whole contract if you have to lmao

two months ago? The whole point is that they are supposed to be jerks while you are in basic/AIT. Just man up for a while.

Fail 3 PT tests, but since you're a shit soldier, expect a general discharge over an honorable.

>they are supposed to be jerks

wow

sew a hand puppet to your hand.

Stick with it dude. You've got the golden intel and we need you for the comming racewar

Mm just giving you the "honorable" way out if you got my drift in minecraft. You get a DD you might as well off yourself because the chances of getting hired for anything is slim

Break your leg

The second they hand you a weapon with live ammunition, shoot your commanding officer.

this, honestly. Until you get into fleet or whatever the fucking Army calls it.. You are going to get treated like the 18 year old cunt you are.

The ds’s aren’t even mean and that’s what sucks. They let the niggers do whatever they want and bitch at the common decent trainee. I wish I was in the front leaning rest all day but they just aren’t there to ever correct us.

Okay private, I'm sure you have it figured out and everything is your shitty NCOs faults.
If you want young staff sausages, why didn't you sign up for 11X and become one yourself in whatever time frame you think is acceptable to do so?

Oh that's right. It's because you suck.

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Would you rather have the nice sgt who gets you killed on the first day, or the asshole sgt who teaches you how to save your own life?

There's a reason the army operates the way they do.

Did you start class yet? Those guys are probably going to fail.
Let that comfort you.

if you wanted the "hardcore military experience" you picked the wrong branch of service. No one joins the Army, unless no other branch would take them or unless they want to hang out in Europe/Asia for 4 years.

Might as well an hero when youre dead the life and death of others doesn't matter.

There's probably some limit to how long they can keep you in a pork chop platoon. 350-6 might know. I'm not bothered enough to dive back into regs after years of being out.
Glad to hear they're trying to fix the fat fucks now instead of passing them on to units as they are with fudged PT cards.

Gotta say you better get on it. War could break out with Iran any day now if at all. But if your in, your ass will be flown over there unless that's more up your alley.

Yeah we did and it’s 8 hours of boring bullshit

Yeah, it's called fuck-fuck games, and it serves a purpose. There's no point in pushing the retards, as you're never going to get anything out of them. You're harder on the ones who aren't complete fuck ups because it forces them to improve.

That entire argument is built on the premise that 1950s psychology is stem science and not pure artistic bullshite.

You will regret it if you get out. No stories to tell as you are older, except you couldn’t hack it.
Was in the army 3 years. Yes, it can suck at times but you can enjoy it if you change your attitude.
Pros: traveling, taken care of food, shelter, medical, salary (yes, not much but if you are smart and save, you can have $20000 by the time you get out). When you complete 3 years you have free medical for the rest of your life thru VA. I got a disability on duty and now receive a monthly stipend for rest of life. College is paid for plus housing as you go to college as a civilian.
More vets I talk to wish they stayed in longer. Cons: war, death, injury.
If you do get out it will be dishonorable and that doesn’t show well on a resume. What are your options if you do exit.... flipping burgers. Really think about your decisions.

What is JQ.

You'll end up regretting it. What would you do, if you were out tomorrow? Work at Burger King? Chances are, if you're in the Army, you don't have the family support necessary to pursue an education. With no marketable skills, and all alone, your life will suck and you have very little chance of getting ahead. Being in intel means you have good opportunity for advancement, you could even get into West Point if you do everything right. Quitting the Army because "it's too soft" is ridiculous.
As young as you must be, a 3 or 4 year commitment might seem like forever, but 20 years from now, being stuck in a working class hell, you'll look back with great regret.

enroll in asap and smoke weed every day.

Die Judenfrage

This is one of the most cringe worthy posts I’ve seen. Listen faggot, YOU made the CHOICE to sign up for the military. “My NCOs suck”. No, you fucking suck. You are a pussy that can’t do anything. Suck it the fuck up and finish out the commitment that YOU made.

It's not supposed to be easy. Best way out is to serve your POG contract, don't get married, and save money. Things will get better. Don't fuck yourself by getting kicked out.

Start telling people you browse /pol and you used to like Hitler but then you found out the Holocaust is a lie.

Lurk more

This. I knew a lot of guys who fucked off from the military. Dont recommend.

Checked and checked. Are you really this new, ya cunt?

Prior Marine here.....

You suck more than the Thai hooker I just murdered. Basically quit being a fucking shitbird, and suck it the fuck up, you lazy, piece of faggoty shit. Fucking shitbirds like you are why the entire concept of the military is viewed as a horrid option for someone to build their future.

Fucking pussy. Harden the fuck up. . .

Yes

>So I joined the army 2 months ago and it’s fucking pure dog shit. Got a good mos but the damn sergeants suck ass so anyone know the fastest way out?

Offer to suck the dick of one of your roommates.

Be sure to get caught by the sergeant.

Few hours of total embarrassment and then you're allowed to walk free from the army.

All you had to do is suck one measly dick and get caught.

stop being a pog hahahahah

Marine vet here as well. I see a common theme between your comment and my previous one....

just bring a bong to work and rip that shit in your sgts face. theyll get you out fast bro. or call a nigger a nigger

but muh statistics

This is true. I was admin for the second half of my enlistment. Started off as an aviation mechanic, but after a head injury, I couldn't legally touch an aircraft again. So I got to fly a desk......

what you didn't get to be infantry or some actual shoot at people and die job?
how did you fuck that up

Imagine being locked up with 50% blacks 50% mexicans of the lowest quality
The reward is not good enough for the pain and stress

When Ahmed is cutting your head off, I hope you explain why his psychology is wrong.

The logic of the army is pretty simple and effective...

1. You tear down the recruits individuality, and make them see themselves as part of a larger group. This is why they shave their heads at the same time, put them in the same uniform, and give them group punishment.

2. The Sgt is a hardass as the worst person in the world to all of them in order to make them bond as a unit against a common foe (the DI), and also to condition the recruit to follow immediate orders before taking the time to think them over. That way, if they are out in combat and someone yells "down", they're on the ground before they even think to ask why.

3. The DI is hard because the difference between hard training and easy training is the difference between life and death.

Now, you may choose to believe this doesn't work, or that modern humans are somehow different than every other human in history has been, but this technique has been used since well before the Roman Empire, and has been used to train all of the best troops.

>pic related

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fight muh kike wars goy

How the fuck did a jerkoff like you qualify for a 35l? That thing you signed is a contract.Fulfill it you faggot.

you could run around singing nigger like uncle ruckus, use nigger and faggot in your reports, when you make a range card record distance in niggers instead of meters, shit on tops desk...too easy to get out bro.

Bone spurs

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