Inmate stories

>Bot/Information Collection "Has anyone been to prison" thread #543
Why does anyone put up with this shit

Its a fucking joke. Just stick to your own, don't take anything from anyone for any reason and you'll be fine. 3 years Lompoc.

Expensive drugs. The sex more than makes up for it. /thread if anyone cares.

I'm going to say this from my experience
>be respectful
>be helpful but not too helpful, you can end up to be taken as an idiot and used
>don't be cocky
>don't be awkward
>don't be shy and asocial
>never ever show your fear
>know how to take a joke
>never jump to a fight if you're alone
>bully pedophiles or any kind of similar degenerates, if you're a good jester and make inmates to laugh they're going to like you and respect you
>get involved into physical training

What you can expect?
>boring shit and same shit every single day
>white nights with your cellmates in which you waste time doing random bullshit
>lots of bullying especially of pedophiles
>guards beating the shit out of you because of one of your cellmates
>pretty shitty food
>maybe some great people that risked their lives for a better future that can become some good friends
>cocky bastards

What are you about to do?

Learn to play spades. Don't wait outside your cell the first couple days like a faggot. If someone tries to fight you, losing badly is 100x better than not fighting.

>Give someone your cornbread to make an ally.
Make sure they are a different race, racists are highly condemned in prison.

>Every thread that isn't a general or centered around trump is a datamining thread
Because everyone on Jow Forums tells the truth so asking questions to the general population is an excellent method of gaining information. And knowledge that some people on Jow Forums have been to prison is highly valuable information to (((them))).

Bleach your butthole ASAP. Offer up your anus to the biggest blackest nigger and hope you're worthy of his BBC. Get fucked in the ass every day and you won't get raped.

What did you do user?
Also, do gypsies get bullied in prison there?

>play spades
After doing 36 months in the MDOC. I FUCKING HATE SPADES, AND EUCHRE!

user, if you get committed to jail, remember these simple rules.
1. Don't gamble
2. Stay away from fags
3. Don't put your business on the street.
4. If someone tests you, don't be a bitch, fight back!
5. If someone calls you a bitch, hit them, hit them as hard as you can.

So many kikes ITT.

Why haven't you fled the country yet OP?

I work at a State Penitentiary. Do not borrow, Do not gamble, handle your business even if it means getting your ass kicked. Anyone nice to you wants their dick sucked (C.O.s also). Do not get a orderly job unless your cool with holding and moving contraband. Be yourself convicts can see right through you. If your not sure if you will get turned out in prison you are already a hoe in waiting.

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Know there are two sets of rules in prison/jail.
The correctional officers rules and the inmate code. The inmate code has consequences.

Don't be a snitch. You are dead if you are labeled a snitch.

Don't take anything from anyone once you get in, even if you are hungry, need soap (get it from officers), want to make a phone call.

Learn some basic street fighting skills and get in shape before going in. If you have to fight, be violent and crazy. Do damage. Hurt people, be the crazy fuck no one wants to mess with.

Stay away from all the prison gangs, no matter what your race is.

Keep your private life private. Don't talk about your upbringing, especially if you are middle class or rich.

You have dozens of eyes and dozens of ears watching everything you do at all time. Keep you fucking mouth shut and you will be alright.

If you are white hang with the whites

>This guy gets it

A friend of mine called me and another guy to beat some faggot because he was flirting with his girl and didn't wanted to stop so we entered into his house and beaten the shit out of him and his father and we keept his hoe mom on the ground and shutting her mouth to do not scream and attract people, after we beaten them we ran but also we stole some money when all of them were with the face on the floor.After 3 weeks we've been catched in different towns, we got from 3 to 7 years, I had 5 years, because didn't had troubles before and i were good got only 3 years, the other guy got 3 years, and the other one 7 which also said he stole the money, but got after 4 years free.
Also with the bullying thing, nobody is bullied because of his race in general but in conflicts like between an Romanian and a Gypsy, the gypsy gets tons of racial slurs.

I had a few friends that went to prison for dumbass mistakes. They were cool people, not overly hardened or shit that you see in the movies. Don't worry to much about it. They said more or less the same advice as everyone else did in this thread.

>never snitch
>don't accept favors from anyone. nothing is free.
>if you get attacked, win or lose you gotta fight back.
>don't be a bitch but don't be a tough guy either, blend in, shoot the shit, hold frame, etc
>start working out
>learn to take jokes and don't be an antisocial faggot.
>don't bring up your personal life and watch what you say.

End of the day, they are just doing their time and looking to get out. Are you going to medium security or what? Anything below max is a joke.

There's a pretty decent youtube channel by an ex con. Look up 23 and 1.
He talks like a nigger anfd rambles a lot + low IQ.
He gives a pretty good run down on a lot of his vids though. You just have to suffer through him taking 15 minutes to explain something that could be done in 4 due to his inability to stick to subject manner without trailing off. He returns back to it though. Just fucking babbles though.
Also start working out before you go in.
And steer clear of fucking nigger gangs and shit.
Try and set up com funds before you even go in or have money on your books day 1.
1 post by OP

Nice intention but poorly done, not smart to enter the house.
But I guess you have had enough time to think about that already.

I would have burned his/his father's car and let some kind of last warning letter.

Funny story:
In 1996 in pic related Sierra Chica penitentiary here, a failed escape attempt ended up with all 1500 inmates revolting a taking over the building.
Revenge killings started inside leaving 8 dead, some of the bodies were cut and made into Empanadas (google it, a traditional dish), and served to some hostage guards and inmates.

>Empanada de inmate, uma delicia

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Embezzlement, think of the movie The Office.

Watch the “Fresh Out” interview series on YouTube. All kinds of advice about surviving in prison. In particular, if you’re a white boy look up the interview with Wes Watson. Hopefully you’re in a lower level yard for the minor time and can mind your own fucking business and keep your nose clean. But if you get involved in some stupid shit and start running with gangs then know that the guys above you doing 10+ years think you’re 3-5 years ain’t shit and you can easily add a few years on it but shanking your cell mate because they have a problem with him. Good luck :-)

Wig status: split .

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Got it

Join the Aryan Brotherhood and stab some niggers

Don't drop the soap
Also learn to do cum tricks with your mouth, it's the surest way everybody is going to like you and not chaink you

What'd you do? You're very lucky to get it that short. Once you get into 25 years your life is over.

im a member of THE ARYAN BROTHERHOOD, where MY GANG HAILED HITLER EVERY MORNING, thats how dedicated you gotta be man. We worked out everyday, except we did fucking army workouts from Hitlers Nazi Germany, holy shit it was so based

The initiation of course, is you have to shank one of the gang members from the Crips or Bloods, or a non-white prison gaurd.

The ARYAN BROTHERHOOD in jail totally does the whole 14/88 meme down to all the stereotypes, except they sell meth and know bikers, they have hardcore 14/88 swastika and hitler tatoos all over their body, its fucking hardcore based bro

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what do you kno about aliens

Stretch out your anus because the only way you're going to survive is by getting protection from someone

here is an interview here with the niggerest

apparently you can't even take a shit when you want and when the doors cracked you have to get up because otherwise you risk getting stabbed in your sleep. Also not very friendly to the lgbtq crowd.
youtube.com/watch?v=WxZeP0PiFzI&t=1s

dont gamble like a poor nigga

dont make promises with these snakes

keep to your business

>nigger complaining about prisons
>blames trump
>not obama

i finna split that wig

>embezzlement
you're going to a prison camp then, extremely minimum security. assuming this is your first ever offense and you have a clean record.

you're not going to be with the cheekbusters and violent criminals.

but if you are for some reason, watch "Fresh Out" on youtube for advice.

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Open youtube and search "After Prison Show" everything you want to know is there.

You're gonna want to kick someones ass day one, or become someones bitch.

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Just act really really crazy. I mean really crazy.
youtu.be/F2EZwSsczYY

They won't stab you if you have their weenies in your mouth.

Ah ok. Yeah clean record. Ill watch that, thanks. I already have a plan on how to keep my mind in shape but I was wondering about the unspoken rules. Watching all vids

basically:
>mind your own business
>dont back away from a fight
>confront someone if they're talking shit/saying bad things about you
>be respectful to everyone

you most likely won't have to even worry about most of this stuff anyway for a white-collar crime sentence.

first 9 or so months is the toughest, then you pick up another kind of time. before you know it, you'll be back on the street. I did 107 months, got out in January.

>then you pick up another kind of time.
What so you mean?

Make as many friends as fast as you can and be extremely outgoing and sociable. Don’t take insults personally and above all else make sure everyone knows you’re not a threat to them. Your time will be a piece of cake user.

You roll up on a yard as a white boy in, let's say California.
A shot caller for the Aryan Brotherhood or other white gang comes up to you and demands you "put in work" or else he'll kill you. You were doing 5 years and now you just got another 3 years.

But again, this shit only happens if you are a violent criminal and go to a level 4 yard.
This Wes Watson guy talks about this very thing: youtube.com/watch?v=2I4imzTOpQM

the first months are long, you are going to trial, getting moved around, classified, etc. you feel like the time drags. after a certain period of time, in my case it was about 9 months, the time goes by faster, you get into a routine, like that. very hard to explain, but it's something almost everyone in the can experiences.

I did 8 years in the Federal Penitentiary at Lompoc. Before that I did a lot of time in California Youth Correctional Facility. I assume you're over 18, so I'll tell you about the pen. There's 3 types of people you need to worry about in the pen: peter gazers, cheek busters, and wig splitters. Always carry your blinky on you in case you ever encounter one of these types. Do cuckold porn before you go in but be the black guy in them.

>If anyone asks you to do pushups, do as many as you can to impress them
True story I was walking shirtless in a park and approached by two ME niggers. They asked me to do a push-up challenge against them. I told them fuck cardio and I only power lift. Luckily I was by my suburban which had my Glock 45 pistol inside of it. As I reached in and put my hand on iron I watched the threat clear right before my eyes. We said our farewells and I even received an as- salamu malakum from one of them. Really nice guys, I’m glad I didn’t have to kill them.

>hercposting

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I heard to avoid getting mail. Because people that find out you have commissary can find out your parents address or who ever is mailing to you, and send them letters back saying your gonna get raped if they dont send x amount of cash to a certain po box.

My dad is getting out in a couple months after doing 13 years, my cousin is doing a 10 year bid in texas and my step dad just started a 10 year bid. AMA

keep your gay fantasies to yourself you third world faggot fuck

You get locked in a psych ward, your sentence ceases to matter, and you likely never get out.

If you are in Illinois just say you identify as a woman with a cock and you can go to the women's prison Logan instead of pound me in the ass Stateville, Pontiac or mend.