Jow Forums, I'm a man at my wits end.
I've always been somewhat of a demented fuck and one rife with guilt. Keeping the demons at bay - not being an evil bastard - has been a life-long fight and one directly against my very nature. I was born evil and yet I loathe evil.
For as rampant as the demons have run, I gradually got them under control by the grace and mercy of Christ as I became an adult.
Until recently, Jow Forums. Until recently.
My head has become a cesspool. At times, it seems as if I'm genuinely being possessed to do things that are just outright fucked up.
I fight it as hard as I can, but even if I win 99 times in a row, I still end up committing some sort of unspeakable abomination.
After the act - whatever it may be - is done, I'm back to my old self. Shocked and in awe of whatever the fuck I just did. A little more dead on the inside every time "user" gets booted from his own control deck and some demon takes over my shell.
I've begged God for mercy. He's given me more than I ever deserve and yet I only end up more alone, deranged, and genuinely devilish as time goes on. I lead myself to the slaughter.
What am I missing?
Lads, I've always felt like Satan had a very high place for me. I refused his offer. I've never made a deal. I'd rather suffer through the rest of my life fighting to be as unabomonable as possible than team up with the devil.
The main question I ask, Jow Forums, is whether or not there's some way to truly be free of this torturous place in life. What more can I do aside from beg Christ to help me?
Jow Forums, I'm a man at my wits end
>fuck
>bastard
>cesspool
>fucked up
And i cant read on. Cease your wicked and vile illustrations. They dont mean anything. They are disgusting vague descriptors you use to ve disgusting and assume everyone knows your point. There is a reason intellect is called "sharp" - it's because your meaning is clear and concise.
>What more can I do aside from beg Christ to help me?
>Help!! talking inside my head to a 2000 year old dead jewish rabbi doesn't work!! I don't understand!!!
Merely speaking words has more power than you know. Do not defile yourself with your words.
Lying fills you with adrenaline
Cussing fills you with adrenaline
So does bragging,
Flattering,
Making promises, etc
You want to defeat anxiety? Stop being an adrenaline junky.
Um if God was visibility feeding people then you'd probably be deadly scared..
Unless God only ability is to "feed people".
Wtf is this 16 year old high-school argument.
If you were actually right, that shit would be down right Saudi Arabia . Over-time, God would then blame you for why the hell am I the one feeding the children when you need to fucking get off your greedy ass and put in the motion to feed the hungry. Guess how God going to get that done.
i laufed
Very good posts.
op, listen to my advice.
drink booze, listen to pantera.
two weeks.
it fixes you.
You're right. Profanity is worthless filler and it sounds disgusting. Forgive me. My entirety is being bent at the seams. I've been out of my head a lot lately and I don't know who or what I am anymore.
Dont despair when you gave in. If we would be able to avoid all sin Jesus wouldnt have come to us in the first place. The reason he came is because we are unable to. Without him the first sin of us would have damned us already, yet through the mercy of God we get the chance to start anew rather than giving in to evil because you are doomed already. Each fail is another chance to try again. What is important is that you never give up trying to be the best you can.
Think of it this way, even if you knew for certain you are damned, would you then start being evil because you cant achive salvation? If so you didnt deserve the chance of salvation either way. Do what is good not because its good for you, but do what is good as often as you can because you love God for all he did for you already and because he loves you so much and because you want to make him happy because of this. Do it because you love everyone else and what God told us is good is good for everyone. If you only do it for your own salvation you already are doing it wrong.
Yeah, better just adopt leftist values and be godless, since it’s so clear people like you are the happiest being alive!
Took me about a month to stop letting a word slip every day. I was just as messed up as any 4channer before Trump.
>messed up
This is what you have to learn. Descibing things as a mess works, but not fornication.
Just dont use corny substitutions like "frick". It illustrates the same thing. You'll just turn yourself into a mad flanders
>can't stand some naughty words
>is a christcuck
You really don't belong here.
This.
Christ is a greek word. I am anointed.
>Christ is a greek word.
So fucking what?
> I am anointed.
wut?
I call bullshit on all memeflags
Wise words. When you put it that way, it reminds me that the toxicity of evil in itself has led me much closer to Christ.
Exposure to truly evil and abominable scenarios has the potential to make even the most monotonous and mediocre something enjoyable.
Just recently, I've become so much more drawn to nature. It's where God's blessings truly thrive in concert.
dont give up hope. satan wants you to lose hope and be alone so you kill yourself, quickly or slowly.
Jesus loves you and bore your abominations upon Himself, who knew no sin. btw I have been a big sinner too.
you need to go to church every sunday. go to different ones if you aren't welcomed. you need to get some brothers and sisters in Christ praying for you. read the scriptures.
remember james. "resist the devil, and he will flee". focus on noble, edifying things. it will be hard at first. if you sin, pick yourself up and move on, not sinning again.
love you bro in Christ
>it reminds me that the toxicity of evil in itself has led me much closer to Christ.
Think of it this way, Satan is the serpent, is Lucifer, the one who brings you to the light. Originaly his task was to explain us everything and bring us that way to the light. But he didnt want to serve us and rebelled. However, he cant change his nature, thus the only thing he does is leading to the same point simply by showing how abhorrent evil is. He cant but do his duty, but he just made it a whole lot more difficult for everyone because of his pride.
If you are interested is a thread from yesterday I made, the thread it links to is from 1-2 days earlier, pretty much all the stuff about the Bible that I barely see mentioned.
Your problem is that you are out of your head, journey back inward and you will find your answer.
some bump
Repentance is a lifelong endeavor.
Every person who has ever lived, with the exception of Christ, has sinned.
We are all equally guilty in the eyes of God without our sins being covered by the Lord.
Even the greatest saints stumble and falter, but that is where the mercy of God comes in to play.
Keep your faith in Christ, user.
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
1 John 1:9
That is not to say that Grace is a license to sin, however.
But, if what you are saying is true, then you clearly regret your sins and you repent regularly.
That already puts shows that God is working in you to make you a new creation.
This is not something that happens quickly, but rather, throughout our entire lives.
We are all wicked and unrighteous.
>What more can I do aside from beg Christ to help me?
Don't underestimate the power of faithful prayer.
It is your absolute greatest weapon against the forces of darkness.
Always remember that the devil and his angels are completely subject to the Will of God.
The enemy hates you, me, and every other human in existence, and their ultimate goal is to turn us away from God.
Stay strong in your faith, and never forget that God loves you so very much.