Anybody know how to become a jew? I want to be on the winning side

Kill everyone at the sacrifice thing and recue the kid got it.

I belive this is the conversion ceremony

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Convert and repent to the Gawd of Muhney.
See:

Join and a week later be all hand wringy and garbed up to the max always laughing and if anyone asks talk about how many whites you are exterminating with mass migration... on camera of course. And you will rule the world and get slaves n shit all SUPER fucking douchey like the real ones but laugh a lot and dance around like a fucking cunt...on camera of course. That would be interesting to film around them and see how they react...after you convert like a day before... On film ofc.

It takes a few years to convert, and to be recognized in Israel and the greater world Jewry it has to be an Orthodox Conversion. You have to move within walking distance of a shul, find a rabbi willing to sponsor/teach you, and start living life as a jew. You'll get pushed away a few times, told being righteous is all thats needed, you just have to be persistent, "I need to be a Jew". Keep living as a Jew and working with the rabbi and becoming a part of the community. Once you've basically gone through your "prospect" phase you will have to go to a beit din where they quiz you on Jewish law and culture. If you're good they'll cut your penis, unless your circumcised in which case they'll just draw a little blood from your dick. After that you hop in the mikveh, say a prayer, bada bang bada boom youre a hebrew.

Remember though, once you become a Jew, there is no undoing it. You are a Jew for life. Even if you convert and go eat cheeseburgers that night, you're a Jew at that point. They'll be sure to let you know how hard life is as a Jew, and the oppression you'll face. Which will be a lot because you'll be a stinky fucking Jew.

I'm very familiar with it because I too had to same idea you did. I couldn't pull the trigger though because FUCK KIKES.

You have to sell your soul

find yourself a nice jewess with big milkers to marry that is what I did

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Want to get bullÿ for the 359th time? Be my guest I live to find people like you.

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you can't, you don't have the right blood
some will say you can "convert", but that may take you up to 9 years of scripture study, and even afterwards you'll never really be considered a jew, just a good goy

>mouthful of cocks
Typical kike

If Germans all converted to Jews, would muslims be accused of anti semitism?

The only Orthodox conversion asllowed is to become Eastern Orthodox, jews are human garbage that belong to middle eastern corrupt societies.

damn that dude is hairy, I bet it takes him 2 hours to shave in the morning

>study jew scripture
It's mickey mouse tiered . better read comics

You're a spic, you married your own level

I knew op would be some anglo or their descendants around the world

Kiss nigger

You can't convert , it's a racial religion.

you have to be born jewish in order to actually be on the winning side and not just a goyim slave LARPing as one.

>wanting to have your penis mutilated
this goy

Yeah just convert to Christianity. Close enough.

cut your dick off, fantasize about raping children and hoard gold. Most importantly you must worship Satan.

Eastern Orthodox Judaism actually allows conversion though. Also, what if you are not a Jew, but Jews don't know you are LARPing as a Jew?

Maybe get plastic surgery to get a jew nose. Just watch out for details, if they sniff you out as a pretender you could get into big trouble. Practice kvetching, try to sound whiny at all times. Changing your last name maybe.

If you pull it off you will live life on easy mode. Be careful who you are letting yourself in with though. Take into account that some may shapeshift or communicate through telepathy. Learn to hide your thoughts in their presence.

Start training jewjitsu. Read about it until your soul turns the color of a sheckel.

go to the nearest maternity ward

grab the 1st infant you see

mutilate it's cock

and then start sucking the blood from the wound

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You can't become one, you can only become a pet of the jew.

also it wouldn't hurt to fuck a few of your cousins

Reminder that Jews will win, we have been winning for years now. We have a significantly higher IQ than you gentiles because over the years, those not smart and cunning enough were killed off by those they cheated leaving only the best of the best.

If you're good at lying, thieving, deceiving, conniving, extorting and blackmail, and love to steal money from others who are helping you, then you'd make a good Jew.

How do I do this without selling my soul and last shred of humanity to Satan?

Convert and find a hot kazar qt to impregnate. Move to Israel. Simple.

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