Join conference call

A shitload of govermental and tax regulations, corporate policies, HR bloat, IT bloat, all those business analytics abominations like SAP that require a small army of people to even work properly.

>”Thank you for using webex. Please visit our website at w-“

IT bloat, huh.

>>”Thank you for using webex. Please visit our website at w-“
Nooo my office life is merging with my retard life noo

As in shitty enterprise legacy systems, shitty outsourced support, shitty vendor products, not actual staff bloat (if anything there is not enough actually competent devs, admins, tech leads, architects)

yeah but what happened to the dog?
he sounded like a pretty cool guy for a minute

Attached: 1458533359346.png (412x351, 74K)

Quit your job. Never be afraid to quit. This will never change of you just put up with it. It's dumb, you know it's dumb. Quit.

pretty good copypasta

>Pamela the passcode is 555 W as in Whiskey, lowercase 'f' as in Family, 4461.
>Okay Carl I'll pass that information up the line to Steve at Computronics Unlimited. We are still having technical issues with Rosenstein *BEEP BEEP*
>John accept the client invitation we will merge the calls
>okay we have Rosenstein on, I believe his team has the *BABY CRYING* on the current industrialized metaphors currently in use *Explosion*.
>That's excellent news Pamela can be get the west coast team.on conference 2?
>We are working on that site just *BEEP BOOP* ah we just lost Rosenstein gosh darn it
>We need all of the active team.leada in on this meeting Pam please see to it.
>Right away sir I'm still on hold with technical support but I'll get to you when we have actionable data.

Attached: 171_Mitchell_F_Boomer_San_Francisco_440x280.jpg (440x280, 53K)

Yes. You have no fucking clue o have an aneurysm every day.

I used to do this 6 times a day, 6 days a week (including Sunday) in my previous job. I hate every human ever since.

As much as I love the internet for what it has done for National Socialism, I would give my left nutfor the world to be free from the Hell that is the internet.

Gotta admit, I had a noon-1, a 1:30-2, and a 3-4 today....
This is the most accurate post I’ve seen in a while. Also
>Brain
kek

>As much as I love the internet for what it has done for National Socialism, I would give my left nut for the world to be free from the Hell that is the internet.

Jow Forums in a nutshell

This is the higher end of the hierarchy, which Juden Peterstein assures us women are naturally attracted to. Which is why their romance novels feature men in such positions, as opposed to sailors, horsemen, etc.

Attached: 1522208046312.png (492x1078, 135K)

kek

You forget the mandatory delay that Jason from Information Analysis and Technical Marketing experiences, along with his feedback, creating an echo of Steve's dog about 3 seconds after the fact.

You illustrated a very authentic moment there OP

>these are the jobs boomers and xers are gaurding with their lives

I couldn't read all of it, that was so depressing.

OP, get a job in construction for your own sanity.

Attached: 1566666110614.png (503x568, 81K)

Ah, just I was looking at the archives and comparing it to nowadays, I was losing faith in this website, but then a quality thread like this comes along.
[spoiler] that tulsi gabbard shes right you know cunt can fuck off though [/spoiler]
bump

Attached: 15551943088408.jpg (477x477, 115K)

Did Deborah from purchasing join the conversation for no apparent reason on this call? I know fiscal year ended but I am on the edge of my seat wondering if my Purchase Order for the new chair was signed off on and if she got around to ordering it.

Chris is truly a god amongst men

Indeed. I mean, look at the size of his head.

Attached: ChrisLanganP.png (220x165, 76K)

That sentence is framed so you can tell *BABY CRYING* happens over something really important xD nice one.

SAP is fucking awful. How it got so widespread is beyond me. It seriously requires multiple people just to keep it running each day

poor wagies

>Brain
Kek

yes

I’m starting a work from home job 100%

Can’t wait this is my future

It's too real

Get a loud dog so you can be like Steve.

yes.

it's dumb and purely there to pad someone's stats.

And Asian kids for video conferencing. youtube.com/watch?v=Mh4f9AYRCZY

Normal day at the office. Nothing comes out of the call in the end anyway so you might just sit back and relax for a while.

I think he is live in the call right now.

checked.
plus there are too few buzzwords

I don't particularly know SAP, but here it goes my 2 cents: it may require 2-3 people to make it run well but the issue is that companies hire (((consulting))) firms to do this and these (((consulting))) firms hires 10-15 interns and sells them as senior experts on the tool

I fucking hate webex. But they have some nice waiting tunes.

Kek, the IT indians who forget to turn off the mic always get me. Classic.

Needs more acronyms though

You'r a fucking retard if you think the internet is a bad thing.

It would be so much worse today if we didn't have it at all you don't actually understand what the internet has done.

This fucking thread
Not related to politics, but holy kek

Attached: 1558794001464.jpg (640x585, 73K)

Attached: don't matter.jpg (600x404, 139K)

I think that he means that he has a love/hate relationship to it. Kind of like me. There are many days I think that internet was a mistake.

Sounds about right except your missing the random pajeets that are now invading cubicle land. No one can understand them (especially in a conference call) and they are super fucking cringe. Wtf is even the purpose of hiring them? Oh! To meet diversity quotas. Fuckasses.

This is the realest thread I've seen here in awhile.

The dog, the pajeets, everything. You're not alone, user.

AHAHAHA

I had a co-worker who lived on the ocean and all you heard was boat horns from the bay and seagulls because he was on the porch.

Also... as soon as someone starts going through the presentation..

AHHHHHpPSHHHHHTTT, AHHHHHPSSSHHTTTT

Excuse me... is someone sleeping, we have a heavy breather on the line. Could you put your phone on mute.

WE CAN'T THE FUCKING NORMIES USE A TEXT GROUP CHAT, AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Soon you start playing tricks on your co-workers, like putting tape over the phones receiver, or continually asking if person X is on the call.

DO THE HEAVY BREATHER WHO'S SLEEPING REMOTELY.

Holy fuck that one funny.

So is Oracle, Windows, every other MS product, Salesforce, anything by IBM,...

>Tfw work blue collar job and get to tell racist and sexist jokes all day
It's good to be a prole

What's the british one programmed by germans that's fucking the worst thing I've ever seen..

O fucking Lotus Notes.... hahahah worst logic I've ever seen sorting data.

Do they still use synergy a lot ? My only real experience with office work is getting drunk and watching office space when I w as a teen

I used to have a boss that would make words and phrases he didn't know up..

For example "au natural" he would call "old natural". Just fucking an abomination.

I would write the words backwards infront of him in my book. Never caught on.

I get on conference calls all of the time and my dog always starts barking the second I join.

nice thread. forced pleasantries sucks.

>guy with a shitty quiet mic and guy with a super loud mic on the same call
Still better than having to actually meet in person where you can't fuck around all meeting

Attached: wagie wagie stuck in cagie.jpg (588x870, 379K)

Attached: hxozeyv9unp21.jpg (960x568, 113K)

>not using skype conference calls to see who's on the call, their region and title

>join call
>say nothing
>mute
>continue playing wow classic
>un-mute
>"send me an email with details"
>close

Buddy...... most companies are lucky if they're upgrading to windows 10 and office 365... to get that skype up and running is atleast another 4 years of implementation and training, and about 500 of these calls we're talking about.

You think IT can just install it and people use it all nimbly bimbly? That's fucking chaos.

Do you even know what happens when the water cooler runs out? Key cards stop working? The printer doesn't work?

Fucking Anarchy

Yes and it's epic
You can be on drugs sometimes

>I'm dying inside

Attached: 1565739805384.jpg (640x480, 31K)

>using 2019 thinkpads
>skype fully integrated nationally
>cohesive scheduling system
>dedicated national IT available 24/7
my faith in the efficacy of my firm has increased

Look at the sneaky asian bitch running into the room to grab the mongrel kids quite forcefully all to "show how good" they are, it truly is pathetic.

She's only with him because she wants mixed children, these asian woman who go about doing that all need to be killed as soon as possible because they are destroying the world by bringing in so many mixed children.

We get very nice steelcase chairs worth like $600 , so I don't care about anything else, comfy as a mofo.

I am just coming off one of those. It's nice for the first couple weeks, then the unending conf calls, looking like a wook, and loneliness set in to produce a very shitty experience. You'll become a shut in, always home, never leaving, always.

High status kids with light skin (and maybe light hair and eyes!), high status white husband, and a passport for a Western country so they can bring their 20 relatives here.

>person calls you out
>just unmute your mic and imply that the bookkeeping is incorrect and you'll look into it
>don't do anything until next month
>talk of your successes
>get called out again
>say you'll look into the bookkeeping
>repeat indefinitely
You'll never get me to do Marketing you sons of bitches

>not having a teleconference so you can literally see who joins

jealous. one of our offices has desks adjustable between sitting and standing I want ours to get them so bad.

>Our software is a truly (and I know this term is overused) next gen platform
>It was developed with organizations like yourself in mind, after extensive market research
>No, it doesn't suck your dick
>However I can get you on a call with our dev guy to figure out how to implement the dick sucking feature

lol oh I would terrorize those faggots if I had to work in that corporate environment

Thankfully not often for me but yeah

>boomers figuring out anything more complicated than a telephone

Hahaha I do this, I'd have to take a look at the data/previous prototype, I don't remember off the top my head. Let me get back to you on that.

Oh my god SAP
Tee thing is so full of mysterious functions there are no 2 people in my company that use it the same way. everyone has their shitty work arounds or tricks.

I don't know why but creating a new check box or field is apparently really hard ? So our SAP is full of insane workarounds where we use a field for something its not made for and its super specific.

Recently they changed a whole bunch of stuff because the codes had to be YXX and they got to Y99 so they completely changed everything, removing a bunch of functions. We asked if we could get it back where it was with the new code system they said it would take 6 months so now we have some weird shortcut we added.

The higher up boomers just gave up on trying to use SAP a million years ago so they use an army of excel sheets and have us run SAP querries to fill their excel sheets.

>Jim, did you cold call that list of 100000 leads we bought from dick data? What were the results?
>Yes, I'll have the results ready for next week's call
>Take vacation next week, memory holed

Systems, Applications and Products is the most German name ever.

I'm so glad I work in an office now with everyone else that I have to have meetings with. I used to have teleconferences with so many WFH people, and this is how EVERY fucking call was.
>The one thing I miss about those calls was using a Master Shake soundboard to answer questions when I got bored.

Literally me but sales have increased like 20% Year over year
have done 0 marketing, don't even do half the stuff I'm supposed to do, even uh... a lot of things. But they keep telling me the importance of marketing and then congratulating me at the job so clearly things are going well.

Looks like you had a custom implementation, and your company is fucked if they want to integrate anything with it. Oh well.

He was put to sleep to increase (((profits)))

Your company hiring sales guys?

ha ha baby cry

thanks redddit!

They've hired consultants 2-3 times now and every time they come on for 6? months or so to nothing happening, and then disappear. Then another comes, I get another set of conference calls about marketing until they disappear, and then go back to doing nothing like usual.

I once fell asleep during one of those conference calls