FBI Thread (FBI agents only please)

FBI Thread (FBI agents only please)

How's your forum-sliding been going lately?
What have you been posting about?
Any tips for a new agent?

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We actually don't slide and prefer it when people don't. Shill threads slow down our escalation tactics. Best thing you can do, civilian, is to watch and wait for individuals posting about breaking federal law, then filing tips on our website.

sage

As an FBI agent assigned to post on this board I can assure you there are no FBI agents posting on this board.

No

FBI agent here, I am a gay man. Very gay. I am so fucking gay right now, guys.

" If you understood the number ' 9 ' you would understand the secrets to the universe. "

My sister got kidnapped by NXVIM, please go save her. It's been a year and I'm running out of options.

that's cia lol not fbi

Take your meds. Do you know how much tax money goes into keeping your schizo ass docile? Have you ever wondered why there's not more rioting and looting even when the world's falling to shit around us and everyone is watching it happen?!

Did you file a report through the FBI.gov website. This is not something you can do anonymously through Jow Forums. We need to establish that it is a credible report from an actual American human before we open a case or take in new intelligence

Well, looks like helps not coming. Thanks.

I'll figure it out. Thanks.

the threat matrix is hard to do. someone send me an example? im doing /ck/

if your sister was seriously kidnapped and you give a shit about her then just fucking talk to the authorities like a non-retarded human you schizophrenic fuckhead. On the other hand, please don't, I don't want to waste my time dealing with mentally ill people more than I already do, hope they're raping your sister and filming it

How many agents have passed out at their desks from laughing at pic related?

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You realize blonde Aryan men are a minority at the bureau right? There's programs in place trying to get more women / minorities in the system. especially Hispanics and Arabs

The cops think she suicided you asshat and the nigger is playing the system, the cops are a joke and I'm being harassed by the CIA, for things I didn't do. Fuck you.

gay LARPer thread

Ok, for the FBI here, someone just posted a person having intercourse with a pig!
Or maybe they are just standing very close? Idk.
Please investigate them. Ty.

>You realize blonde Aryan men are a minority at the bureau right? There's programs in place trying to get more women / minorities in the system. especially Hispanics and Arabs

What are your plans to stop the Social Destruction of American Society?
>pic related.

How are you going to handle all the new Cultural Bastions now competing against Anglo-Saxons?

Also
Why the fuck are you promoting miscegenation when every multi-racial society has failed in human history?

An Ex-Cia said you promoted misceenation of Europeans with Africans to have data on health of interracial babies.

Why the fuck are you trying to
Meme into reality the
CIA NIGGERS meme?

Also,
Comments on the ADL being British Intelligence?
Blowback on USIA propaganda blowback?

What are your plans to keep Society from blowing itself apart?

I mean,
Please tell me
How American society is not going to implode.

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google "accelerationism"

things need to be made worse before we can make them better

Can the fbi hire me to shill even if i don't have the training? Would like some extra income

>things need to be made worse before we can make them better
> There's programs in place trying to get more women / minorities in the system. especially Hispanics and Arabs
Bullshit.
There was no reason to change the Immigration Laws.

Why the fuck are you then promoting competing social groups to form part of law enforcement.

Why the fuck has America been turned into a 3rd world shithole.

Hello, agent Smith here.

There's no FBI agents on Jow Forums, now please post your data so we can mine it legally and target you for the good of our main homeland
holy Israel.

Thank me later goys

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Supervisor here, get back to work you bunch of clowns!

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Sorry bos, it was Garry's idea to prank these losers on pol.

>Flag
>FBI

Checks out.

ACCELERATE THAT SHIT THEN NIGGA. THE FUCK ARE WE EVEN PAYING YOU FOR? TO SUCK COMEY'S CORN COCK?

FUCK I'M BORED OF THIS DYSTOPIA.

HERE'S A PICTURE OF OBAMA BECAUSE FUCK YOU.

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Agent Doofy reporting a dooty. COOM threads on max. Big titties. Fat asses.

Hi I would like to know how I can join the FBI/CIA/NSA i am a very hard worker and eager to learn.

pics?
>not more rioting and looting even when the world's falling to shit

muh "order through chaos"

They just gaslight in hopes someone goes for a high score to justify their existence

Be careful out there

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My main tip to mess with their heads is to tell them arrests are going to happen soon, and give an elaborate backstory with weird twists.
They eat that shit up here.

Agent GAY reporting in.

I love dicks and stalking racist retards

>Do you know how much tax money goes into keeping your schizo ass docile? Have you ever wondered why there's not more rioting and looting even when the world's falling to shit around us and everyone is watching it happen?!

That's rich, coming from the government. It's your own fault.
You MADE this bed. Now you have to LIE in it.

OI. OI LAD.
YOU GAWT A LOICENSE !?
OI. OI LAD!
YOU GUWAT A FOCKN LOICENSE FOR THAT MEM?

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I'm actually charmed by this.