>boomer parent dies
>suddenly have to deal with their mcmansion full of shit and trinkets they collected throughout their lengthy existence and blew all their bloodmoney buying
>have exactly 3 square meters of space in your shitbox hobbit hole slave quarters in the megastructure complex that you pay the jews for the privilege of "living" in each month
>have to literally toss most of the dead boomers shit in the fucking dumpster
is it fucking poetry? am i rhyming yet?
Other urls found in this thread:
Yea im thinkin its poetry for sure on second thought
Everyone throws their parents shit in the trash when they die. Someday your kid will trash your worthless shit as well
>implying anyone has the room or money these days to buy useless fucking trinkets when houses cost 200k for a shack, and currencies are literally worth 10x less than they were in the 70s.
Dealing with this shiy now, dad collected all kinds of shit. Example antique Underwood typewriter he picked up somewhere, no one will take this " valuable collector's item" ( he called it) hunk of aged metal for even 50 bucks. All kinds of piles of shit like that.
The best part is all the NEETs panicking when they realize their free ride is over
>cleaning out grandparent's house
>find canned fish that expired in 2005
>50 year old Tupperware
>lots of China
>a desktop computer that still runs on Windows XP
>garage filled to the brim with even more old junk
what am I supposed to do with all of this stuff?
>dad has a heart attack
>can recover but will have maybe a few years left and slight mental retardation due to all of the lost oxygen
>makes the choice to continue to live
>rapidly degenerates
>forces my mom to take care of a literal retarded baby that's 58
>is hateful and spiteful towards her and everyone in the family the entire time
>somehow this is what he wanted
idk being a zombie person isnt really my idea of living; idk why boomers do any of the things they do
Defeatist. Low interest rates made it so my mortgage payments are about the same dollar amount my parents had to pay 20 years ago. It’s not that bad
This, unless you have heirlooms that are usable. My family has a fountain pen, pocket watch, watch & leather journal cover thats been passed down to the heads of the family since 1856.
But does it last for the same amount of time, Canadian jew?
In my family it's a ring that gets passed to the eldest daughter of each generation. The ring isn't that great, nothing special, but it's been passed down now for 8 generations, so it's turned into a tradition.
Not every boomer is like that. I have a DNR, and on the day I have a heart attack, I'm having a drink and waiting for nature to take its course.
Depends on whether you think anything of value will be hidden in there. If so, hire an appraiser to take a quick look. Otherwise hire someone to gut the place.
Underwood typewriter is possibly a collectible. You can tell people it's the one that Algier Hiss wrote his spy letters on.
If that's the way you treat your parents memory, it's not wonder you don't have shit.
You throw most of it out, sell what can be sold and maybe keep a thing or two if they hold any value for you. When my grandpa died I kept only his old carpentry tools which where passed down from my great-great-grandfather to him, I kept his old fire chief cap, some military and firefighter badges and that's it. The rest was sold, specially some old radios, vinyl tracks and 8-track tapes.
The only thing I believe anyone should keep is photos, so you can share them with your kids and show them what it was like back then.
Don’t toss anything, sell it for overinflated prices to other boomers, preferably ones without children.
>tfw have wealthy boomer parents who own property outright (no mortgage) - a nice comfy country cottage on an island off the south coast.
>parents have collected antiques, watercolours, by established Edwardian artists, militaria & classic cars with their money
>tfw only child & will inherit it all.
None of that shit is going in the bin when mine pass (hopefully not for a long time because I am very fond of my parents t b h and they are not your average boomers. Father is pretty much Jow Forums incarnate anyway) & they have some valuable shit. That's my bug out money should things become completely untenable here.
Besides, can't you sell the mcmansion? That must be worth something.
Estate sales user. There are even companies that do it for you and take a cut, then haul away the remainder if you want.
It is frustrating in one respect though, and that's the destruction of real wealth that comes from single family households combined with consumerism. Compare a McMansion to an acre in the country with two houses on it, and your kid moving into their house after they're gone. Not that I'm owed an inheritance personally, but at the utility level it's a missed opportunity.
>throwing it away instead of making a buck off it
Ok RETARD.
Besides photo sound and family heirlooms I’m selling everything. Probably the house too. Although it’s a nice house with a huge yard so maybe I’ll buy it off my siblings.
I'm a bastard son and will not inherit any piece of the farm, or anything else.
Never say never.
>American flag poster
>have exactly 3 square meters
>square meters
>meters
You're right. A freak accident could occur and my younger half-siblings could all die. Even then, I kind of doubt my father would let me have any part of it. But it is possible
This
also
>muh boomers wont gibs me monies so i hate them!
Grow up. Get a job you fucking losers
I'm gonna get my dad's tools and camera gear. So there's that.
Appreciate it because my family has no heirlooms that I know of.
You say 1/2 sibling, so I assume you have a different father. Who knows, maybe bio dad will drop something in your lap.
I'm in a similar situation (though I'm the bio dad). The circumstances of my relationship with his mother is such that I had to step back, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten. He's going to get a shitload of cash when I kick it.
Why do geezers collect old plates as if they were Pokemon?
My mom has shitty Christmas plates from Germany and she fucking HATES Jesus.
I just went through this. I was shocked to find out some shit I had seen 100's of times was very valuable. A Thomas Edison signature $1000. Some antique document written in French from the 1600's $400. Everything must be looked up on EBay and valued. My mother hired an appraiser/estate sale woman, and she took 35% of the value, and did a good job. But, a lot of stuff is shit, some stuff isn't. You might be surprised.
Dinnerware made of stone used to be prized possessions. Craftsman would work with steady hands to chisel and form each plate, and an artist would painstakingly engrave the piece with fine metals like gold.
Now the process involves melting some porcelain and forming it into a dish. Then a machine prints some fancy pattern on it.
TLDR: Boomers are stupid.
Any mid century furniture?
do you have a picture of it?
Most Underwood typewriters are worth about $50, but if its a model 1 it can be pretty valuable.
Definitely not every boomer.
Am over 50, and the minute I saw the thing about "Swedish Death Cleaning", I was on it like white on rice.
Endless loads of donations to charity and the dump, and countless hours of organization later, what is left is useful shit.
All the post-death paperwork is neatly filed and other people know where it is.
The jewelry (mostly from deceased female relatives) is in a lockbox.
The old photographs have been categorized and are in labeled boxes.
The genealogical history is in multiple online sites and birth/marriage/death certificates are in the lockbox with the jewelry.
Pictures and books that are actually worth something are identified as such.
I am going to be sure the liquor cabinet is well stocked, so anyone who wants to get their drink on after I croak can get one.
We don't have any stupid worthless collections of bric-a-brac, and don't go overboard with holiday decorations, either.
I have cleaned out 4 different houses of old southern people who obviously thought they were as immortal as the Highlander, and I'll be damned if I'm going to do that to somebody else.
One last thought: Just because mahogany "brown furniture" isn't currently in style doesn't mean it's going to stay that way forever. The plastic, MDF bullshit garbage that IKEA sells to deluded kids will all be in landfills for decades, but that good mahogany will outlast us all. You can get insane quality furniture at estate sales these days. But don't treat it, or good china and crystal, with kids gloves. USE THE GOOD STUFF. You are worth it. Every day is worth it.
I hope you've taken the time to pre-plan and pre-pay for your funeral. It will avoid your loved ones having to deal with it during an emotional time, and will decrease your chances of being dumped by cheapskate relatives.
Dont go to churches prior to death. They'll rob you blind and change your will.
For china: check the back side of the plates. If it says Haviland, Wedgwood, Royal Doulton, Royal Worcester, Portmeirion, keep it.
Anything else goes to a thrift shop.
SECRET TRICK FOR ANONS
All crystal actually DOES have a label on it:
Hold a wine glass upside down under a bright light and look carefully at the base with a magnifying glass. Very fine crystal will have the manufacturer's name acid-etched in tiny letters.
Not having a cool boss that gives you a family heirloom.
A church can't change your will.
THIS
Don't trash everything wholesale until you find out whether it has some value.
This applies no matter how bad the relationship might have been.
It's just stuff.
Clothes (except designer labels or furs) automatically go to a thrift store. The good stuff can go to a consignment shop.
If there's a gigantic amount of tools, vehicles, hardware, like a big full barn worth of stuff out in the boondocks, heck, send a message to that American Pickers show.
Seconding advice on contacting estate sale managers. They work their asses off for their percentage, get everything organized and priced, and the good ones are a godsend.
Get any jewelry appraised even if you think it's not worth anything. Antiques Roadshow regularly has people bring in very dated-looking stuff with stones so big that "it must be fake", but than surprise, it's real.
All books have copyright dates on the title page. If it was printed over 100 years ago, maybe hang onto it. Massive hoards of Danielle Steele or Tom Clancy? Thrift shop.
If you live in a place where you can have a bonfire, just start a big fire and throw old boxes and assorted whatnot onto it. We did that with the inlaws house and it was kind of pyro-fun.
>born in 2026
>mom and dad are millenial fuckwits
>tells me to take good care of their stuff
>a 5T hard drive of shitty HBO shows, hentai and memes from 9gag
>most of the hentai isn't even in English what the fuck dad you can't read Chinese
>mom has a collection of every single iPhone filled with Instagram pictures of her in Paris and binge drinking
>the crawlspace has a cardboard box full of funco pop figures. Mostly Avengers characters back when they were all white
Thanks, mom and dad.
Absolutely.
I have seen some hilarious user-quality prose in some obituaries that people obviously wrote for themselves. Funny as hell.
Best funeral I ever went to was for a man who was a newspaper reporter who was a real character. All his friends and family took turns standing up and recounting funny anecdotes from his life, and they played Allman Brothers music. He would have loved it, and I hate that he had to miss it :)
You left out...
> plug it in to see what's on the drive, it fails because it's 25 years old.
But you're right. There are down-sides to the digital revolution.
Checked.
this is a good comment
checked and keked
the only heirlooms my family has are the old slave sales and breeding ledgers that my family awkwardly avoids admitting exists
We have a piece of property that has been in the family for three generations. While cleaning out my folks house, I found the original purchase agreement.
It has a line that the buyer agrees that no non-caucasian will ever sleep on the property, unless he is the servant of a legitimate white man.
It's an embarrassing/funny historical memento. Keep your ledgers
where i live there are auction houses that will do estate sales for you and they take a cut. i would look into that, it will make things much easier.
Lmao. Just don't do what I did and toss it into a storage unit while the rest of the family decides who wants what and nobody clears shit out for 3 years burning your wallet. Just junk it or sell it asap. Only boomers will want their nostalgic trinkets. Holding onto shit too long and it'll be worthless.
If you have a lot of stuff an estate sale is the best option after selling valuables. Most of my dad's shit was furniture that reeked of cigarettes so I ended up junking most of it.
>USE THE GOOD STUFF. You are worth it. Every day is worth it.
t. boomer
>Everyone throws their parents shit in the trash when they die.
It's all basically the shit you can find in any pawn shop.
Stuff people buy, use a few times, then shove into storage because they don't want to "waste" garbage that's still functional.
My genx mate died recently, he didn't have barely a thing to throw.
What he left we shared among ourselves, no need for wills etc.
I took a couple of paintings, another friend took his guitar, what a world of difference between boomers and Xers
Some of it might be age. You accumulate things over time.
Its possible, though he was 51 when he died..so no youngster.
I find genX either have tons of stuff or live very minimalist.
>tumblr_inline
This is why God bans graven images and idolatry.
you must be a machine, because your fucking post makes no fucking sense.
You haven't broken the agreement, have you anons?
>It's an embarrassing/funny historical memento
fucking newfags, why are you here? you must be a half nigger. "its embarassing" save it for fucking reddot you piece of nigger garbage.
gtfo
Not that I'm aware of.
Come on, have a sense of humor poindexter. It would be like if they said you weren't allowed to have witches or gypsies there.
no, you are just a retarded nigger.
Send the computer to LGR so he can install Sim City 4 on it.
Would you give your progeny your hard drive decryption key or would you delete it all?
>.5 bitcoins that used to be worth 50k in 2021, but is now zero
>dad dies a recluse who never talked to anyone
>He had news papers from ruby ridge and Waco
>extensive lab equipment and chemical collection
>still finding modified Aks,ARs, and HK rifles buried around the property
....we share so much in common and his paranoia made him isolate himself
Confirmed retard. Look at how much you hand over to (((them))) in the form of interest.
Checked
>Not that I'm aware of
Tbh it seems like something you'd see in the beginning of a cursed-house horror movie
>It's an embarrassing/funny historical memento
No it’s not. It completely makes sense, especially in light of modernity
Is your dad me in another reality? Sounds pretty bad ass.
I'm not a boomer. I don't collect trinkets, I investmy resources.
That’s cool as fuck. You should be proud that your father wasn’t a cuck
That’s cool as fuck. You should be proud that your father wasn’t a cuck like the rest of the boomers
my brother and I are keeping a lot of my grandparents shit
my boomer parents dont care about it
My parents are nursing home age and live in separate houses with two garage-sized piles of worthless bullshit.
My mom kicked me out for confronting her on not having enough space to set up a lab bench in the garage, then proceeded to trash three bedrooms.
has bitcoin ever crashed lower than the previous bubble
It's called an estate sale you fucking loser. You go pick the shit you want, they try to sell everything else, whatever they dont they sell they donate, and you get a small portion of the proceeds. Learn how to delegate.
Which is why were going to try and do it for our children right? I'm looking ahead at a bright future for those who will take it. Let the world rot around us, at least we can take care of our own.
thanks for the detailed bullet points about your specific life. i guess the IQ will not be one of the things inherited.
>his paranoia
>Let the world rot around us, at least we can take care of our own.
t. boomer
>muh fractals
keep reading the tea leaves in the charts user, please do. the whales will only dump harder on your cuck ass and move onto the next tulip bubble.
>implying
I'll raise my kid to have a healthy respect for my animu figgies.
I'm glad my dad spends most of his trinket money investing in the currency of the future... weapons.
>canned fish that expired in 2005
What's for dinner lads?
Great dad. I assume you will leave him a message with it so he understands.
The only things I want when my grandparents croak is the family bible, and the medals earned by my ancestors in the first and second world wars. Artillery medal from WW1 and A civilian Iron cross from WW2.
LOL that's great
I'd get that thing framed and just hang it in a prominent place with absolutely no explanation.
Once in a while someone reads it and loses their shit
You just stand there like "what?"
Hahahaaa
My Ancestry account has a big stack of ancestors' wills which carefully detail exactly which offspring is going to get "Buck" or "Bessie", or in case today's reader hasn't freaked out quite enough, "Bessie's increase". As in, if Bessie ever has a baby, the baby too.
History: it happened, man.
Doesn't make any difference if somebody tries to sanitize it.
i don't think dinner plates were ever carved out of stone they were always made of clay. also you don't melt porcelain.
is this just a repost from some shitty subreddit, nigger?
>thanks for the detailed bullet points
Hardly....I' call it a more "vague outline"
>...about your specific life
Specific life? Do I have more than one then? Guess I must have gained a 1up at some point kek.
>i guess the IQ will not be one of the things inherited.
Sick burn leaf, i'm literally shaking right now you totally destroyed me & im leaving the internet forever.
Just burn everything. It'll create global warming and make liberals mad.
I'm cool with this. I want them to gimme a viking funeral. Take the good stuff and let me go to Valhalla in peace so I can be violently drunk forevermore
Why didn't you get the house? Why is your family such a pile of fucking shit they couldn't even leave you a house?
>coomer parent dies
>suddenly have to deal with their mcdumpster full of soggy tissues they accooooooomulated throughout their degenerate existence and blew all their loads soaking
>have exactly 0 square meters of space since I was never born since I got blown into a tissue before I had a chance
>literally tossed into the dead coomer's dumpster
>coomer parent dies
buying the forced meme, I have a nice bridge to sell if you're interested
no thanks, all bridges in the UK have already been designated for pakis
>grandpa died
>leaves me 10$
>wasn’t actually going to leave anyone anything the 10$ was just in his wallet
>rent house
>move to cheap area
>neet forever
Not really.
im going to own way too much property when my boomer relatives croak. you think clearing one boomer box is bad, try 5. probably just retire then and rent them out. it feels really scummy and jewish though. will rent to Jow Forums at a discount though, super swastika discount.