I really like your resume user, but there's something that troubles me; why haven't you had children yet?

I really like your resume user, but there's something that troubles me; why haven't you had children yet?

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Because I just have a goku get em attitude

You haven't introduced me to your daughter yet

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I am saving my seed for a pure nipponese shufu

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Nigger, I’m not going to inter-mix work and home life. I wouldn’t put my marriage or child-bearing status on a resume, because what I do in my spare time is not a corporate concern.

user, you realize this interview is very important, yes?

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I'll fuck both of you NERDS

I've interviewed employees. You cannot ask about marital status or pregnancy. I'm not certain if asking whether you have kids at all is explicitly forbidden, but I'm sure that a good lawyer would say that it applies. The pregnancy protections protect men too. They aren't allowed to ask if you are expecting to have children soon.

It is very important that we support the proper creation of a harmonic relationship between your work and family lives user.

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I have some kids back in the states. It was during my wild oats period, you know how it is.

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Boku no Waifu no namai ha momo desu tsukuru kodomo omoimasu

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My wife and I have tried and resulted in a miscarriage after the first trimester. She wants to eventually try again, but it's still too soon for her emotionally.

It's not an independently achievable goal. I've gone through the motions thousands of times but doing it by yourself yields no children.

because fuck you you want me to spend time at work or caring for them?

Sure, just assign me a slant waifu and we can get to work solving that low fertility problem you've got.

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I can appreciate that. What i’d like you to provide is an environment wherein my home life and family status can flourish, rather than one where I must first have a wide and children before employment. It would be irresponsible to bring a child into this world while knowing I would have to rely on WIC and food stamps to get by- provide me a living wage so I won’t have to sweat my bills. Let me take a day off here and there. If I had time off and a comfortable $10,000/yr over what my bills are, I’d dedicate my life to your company. So long as there’s room to grow with experience, and the tools necessary to gain it.

She's pretty good, but I'd still rather frog the frog.

I am very sorry to hear that user, please do keep trying! Do your best!

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Yeah, thanks. So do I get the job or what?

"What, you wanna hear my sob story about my personal breakups?"
>chuckle
>awkward silence
"I had a few relationships. The women I've been with are smart, witty, and successful, but we're too much alike. So we dated, but we never got to marriage."
"Maybe deep down I want a warm, nurturing woman, someone I can come home to and raise the kids with. I'm still looking."
>smile sadly
"Anyways, do you have any reservations about this affecting my capacity to work?"
>pray to god that he doesn't see through my bullshit

we don't hire coomers here, user

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