Things your first gun said the day you bought it

>"we won't be having fun when you shoot me. Now rub some oil on me or I will rust"

>You will stop shooting me as soon as you get an M1 I can tell
Poor m1903 wasnt wrong...well that and the stock cracking...

>mama mia, from one fat-a fuck that cannot shoot to another!

>OW these import marks hurt user
>will you gib me a good home?
>ohh yes that oil feels so good. that cosmoline made me feel like i would never operate again
>oh yes i get to shoot again! thank you comrade my life is complete again
>w-why are you putting my bolt handle in t-there
>n-NYET!!

correct. No. 4 MK I to be exact.

>I am a baby killing assault rifle please feed me babies and a stray cat

when i look at Enfields I just hear Churchill

youtube.com/watch?v=s_LncVnecLA

>remove red

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>Guten tag mein freund! Ach mein gott, this does not seem like ein good idea

[spoiler]my first gun was an HK91, I got really shithoused and tried to field strip it[/spoiler]

>.40 isn’t just a meme, serious

>Czech me out. Get it, Czech. Sounds like check. This is the only pun I know, Czech out if you don't like it.

This kid has some nice posters on the wall.

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Wow, your gun had shit taste.

user, I was on clearance and nobody wanted me, thank... what? what the fuck are you doing! user NO!
my scales, I was a commemorative model, user! Stop!
I.. I eject from there, fuuuuuuuu... ah! so clean

we have had a good relationship ever since and she is still my favorite girl.

only to fags like you who prefer traps

>You have no idea what you're getting yourself into

t. Uberti Walker

>I'm just a little .22 and you're 9 years old. Since we're both tiny; if you watch my back I'll watch yours.

Adorable

God fucking damnit. California?

What fucker put me on the roster?

>BANG
>BANG
>BANG
>BANG

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Don't drop me, or I'll blow your dick off!

>that body
>shit taste

I'm glad you were finally able to Czech me out.

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>Ahoj!

test

>day I turned 18
>"I'll make a man out of you yet."

>*ba-dum tsch*
>crickets chirping

Lets kill those blacks Jack
you know what we have to do
Step it up Jack

Gee gee gee baby baby

I am an assault rifle 15 and J demand the blood of school children.

He He, this sucker should have bought me last week when I was on sale. Enjoy paying full retail retard.

>I bet you're gonna give me some stupid name
That i did. That I most certainly did. My apologies to my first raifu for not giving her a more dignified name like the rest of my collection. However, it was my first. I ain't letting that gun go to shit

> "I can't believe I'm going to have to sit in the corner and watch this guy jerk off for the rest of my existence"

Are you literally gay? I ask because I'm a DFC-loving pedo and even I can appreciate cindy goddamn Crawford.

>Soooo........ We are going of duck hunting, yes? What? Hunt of ducks is ban in your state? Orospu çocuğu!

"DO IT FAGGOT!" ~ 92A1

>здpaвcтвyйтe, мeня зoвyт Aвтoмaт Mихaйлoвнa Кaлaшникoв. Кaк вac зoвyт?
"Meня зoвyт Aнoним"
>Oчeнь пpиятнo! Эй... пoчeмy вaшa мaмa плaкaлa?
"Пoтoмy чтo.... Oнa нe знaлa вce o вac... He бoйтecь, вce бyдeт хopoшo."
>Пoчeмy никoгo нe любитe вac?
"..."
>Hy... Хopoшo... Moжнo cкaзaть "ты" c тoбoй?
"Дa кoнeчнo."
>Уpaaa! Cпacибo!
*Чepeз 3 нeдeли*
>A-aнoним, я-я дyмaю чтo...
"Хм? Чeгo, Aвтoчикa?"
>Я-я люблю тeбя, aнoним...
"Я люблю тeбя тoжe, Aвтoчикa."

I'm a single stack. You really think I can pull off home defense?

Fug Benis :D :D :D
>M39

и жили oни дoлгo и cчacтливo

>He тpoгaй мeня в этoм мecтe, ты ypoд!

"You'll be attracted to others. You can play with them and own as many as you want. But we both know you'll always come back to me."

And later that day, "and that's how you keep it an 'attempted' carjacking!"

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;_; ecли бы тoлькo этo былo пpaвдoй

чтo cлyчилocь

жизнь.

Lol'ed hard

First 10/22
> You know you just got me for the wife, why are you pretending about "fundamentals" you clearly don't give a shit about me, I'm just a cheap shooter you're going to take for granted aren't I?!
You're not wrong but I got you a nice scope and soon can plink squirrels from the porch I promise, plus one day I'll have a kid you can be best friends with.

Second SKS
> Blyat you know I am mans gun not nice fancy pussydoll, made for big shooting war and revolution
I know buddy, we have to lay low for now but time will come soon. In the meantime we practice.

Y-you to...

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[VPORWAVE INTENSIFIES]

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"CHEEKI BREEKI LETS GO BLOW THROUGH 100 DOLLARS OF IMPORTED x18 HAHAHAHA YOU CANT BUY ME AT WALMART"

relatable, unfortunately. makes me feel bad for my savage 64.

I'm not crying, this is just a really intense manly squint.
Goddamn bruh

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Holy shit, you got (not) carjacked the day you bought your glock?
Must be the first-day ritual for all new folks at Compton, I guess

>whoa?! competitive shooting? hell yeah! let's show those CZs and their clones what we can do.
>Hey, are you familiar with my lever release?

Yeah man, i am

>aight cool, just wanted to make sure
>wait, what's going on? why am i being put back into a ziplock? aren't you gonna buy me?

sorry USP, I am, but we live in Israel, socialist regulations say you gotta be delivered to the range by someone else cos i need 2 FUCKING YEARS of competitive shooting until i can get a license and take you home with me.

>ahhh don't sweat my friend
>oooh, you got me an optic fiber front, thanks!

>if you make a post about this online I'm going to have to kill you because I don't want to be owned by a faggot

so you went ahead and became a faggot just to give us that info that if you do it you become one?
i mean kudos to you for turning gay just to able to tell a story but..

My sweet romainian girlfriend. An SKS>

>Wer zum Teufel ist dieser 56% Arschloch?
>N-nimm deine Hände von mir!
I assume. She's arriving at my FFL tomorrow.

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>If you kept that Trumpet and played gigs, you could afford two of me

>Savage 64
My first gun also. Things she's said to me:
>Jam Jam Jam
>o-oh, thank you for cleaning my reciever. I feel a loot more loose now. I think I c-*Jam*
>w-why don't you shoot me anymore?

>blyat, you are more of alcoholisms than ivan

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Turkish people don't do that Russian thing, dude

>can you NOT dial me wrong and actually hit something?

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wholesome

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if you were me your uncle cleaned both the .22 and you with his cleaning rod.

user! Stop making me want to give you unprofessional therapy.

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First gun I got
>Son, I saw your grandpap through Vietnam, you have nothing to fear with me on your hip
First gun I bought
>a-user if you touch me there I-I'll
>PULA I'LL BURN THE SHIT OUT OF YOU CURVA DIDN'T ANYONE TELL YOU TO RESPECT AK?

>buying a gun at Cabelas

Wew lad

"There only be one smoking pipe in your life, make your choice now."

>"I've been in storage for 50 years, son, not so rough!"
>"Thanks for taking an old man shooting again, kid, that sure takes me back. I don't remember .30-06 kicking quite so hard, though."

First gun ever
>Is that a human voice? Can it be? It's been so long... I've been in this closet since 1974, I don't even know what year it is now... Please take me home, I'm not rusty, I promise I can still shoot, there's just a little dust is all..
>Is someone there? I hear voices getting louder..
>MY OWNER! HE'S BACK! He's much older now though..
>Who's that with him? A son? A grandson?
>Oh he's touching me now, it feels so good to be held again, even if it isn't by my owner
>He's smiling at me too... YES! Yes, I am still a good gun! Please, just let me show you..
>Are we going somewhere? To the range maybe?
>It isn't the range, it's a new home! Oh and he's cleaning me too! I haven't been this happy in years..
>Don't worry young new owner, I promise to be a good shotgun for whatever you need me for!

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>I maybe ugly and cheap but I work. I promise!

>Just an old, sporterized Enfield...Nothing special.
>Yup, still in one piece, sans the wood and a few quirks with the magazine.
>You actually, got some original wood? I'm a bit impressed.
>Yeah, sorry about the smell. The shop owner smokes...a lot.

With the wood bought seperatly, I got myself a Lee-Enfield for around 290-300 bucks. Thankfully the cigarette smell came off after a few days.

Tfw studying Russian in college culminates to laughing at a post on Jow Forums

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>Ciao!
>Maestro, what are you doing?
>Eh, packing grease is bad?
>O-oh, okay
>Maestro I feel so good!
Next day was the first range trip with 200 rounds. Still my favorite gun.

Can someone translate? Google gives me nonsense as usual.

>i know i wasn't your first choice in the shop and you ended up getting a different upper for me but i hate 223. i wont cycle without 556

>Hello, my name is Automatic Mikhail Kalashnikov. What is your name?
"My name is user."
>Pleased to meet you! Hey...why did your mom cry?
"Because...she didn't know everything about you. Don't worry, everything will be fine."
>Why does nobody love you?
"..."
>Well...ok...can I say "Tы?" with you?" (Russian informal second person, analagous to the Spanish "tú" or the German "du." Used with friends, family, or other close acquaintances.)
"Yes of course."
>Uraaa! Thank you!
*After 3 weeks*
>A-user...I think that...
"Hm? What, Avtochka?" (Diminutive form of "Avtomat")
>I-I love you, user...
"I love you too, Avtochka."

t. 2 years of studying Russian at Cal

I have been bought

thank

churchill was a fucking piece of shit

Hipoint?

based russian learner posters

"About damn time you showed up! It's not my fault you didn't look up the law and realize you have to be 21 to buy an AR lower."

my дpyг

p95.

Was a broke ass college kid.

Still have it and now it has 43 more friends :)

>please clean the cosmoline...
>its in everything...

I am now convinced that there needs to be a new genre of movies; "A boy and his gun."

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> Ur gunna fuck me aren't you mister?
Why yes, yes i am.

Actually, it'd go something like this.
> Wait, i am a from an exposition! i was to be used by so many strange men here in America to show my familys accuracy and handling. They ran me hard, over and over again until i was so caked together i couldn't move. I cannot go to a standard range again, my soul can't bare it...

Wait, is this? An open field? Live targets? What is a pig? I don't know you but i'm liking the sound of this pistol hunting you are whispering on about.

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