Jow Forums, I just did the worst thing I've ever done on a hunting trip. I'm hoping you guys have crazier stories. But I can't imagine *anyone* outranking this.
>be uncle with paraplegic kid >bitch of sis-in-law wants me to take him hunting >he's sixteen, user. he's of age. >I don't understand what that has to do with anything >keep turning her down, because like I fuck I'm taking his wheelchaired ass with me >please, user... please >fuckoff.mp3 >pul-lease >mfw contemplating the fall out of domestic conflict charges >bro finally comes home from service >wants to go hunting >nostalgia.jpg, like old times >oh btw, I'm bringing with me >sorry, what now >yeah, wants us to bond together >fakestbutangriestsmileever.jpg >nod in agreement, while swearing a fire storm under my breath
>bro chose a hunting ground with little terrain >that's something, I guess >litte ways into the trip: good god, fuck this kid >I'm tired! >When are we going to see some elk? >This is so boring! >loudest snoring I've ever heard >having him around is like pulling teeth >had to figurative, and LITERALLY, let him piggy back me at times >whyhaveyoubetrayedmebrother.wav >one point, had to lay him down in the prone position, and reaffirm the rifle into his arms as not to also cripple his shoulder >he actually gets a decent shot at some doe, but at this point the kid can cure cancer and I still wouldn't like him
>night of the last hunting trip, my ears would be blowing steam if they could >kid's snoring is keeping me awake >of all the bullshit so far, this is when I lost it >start contemplating pillow over his face, but wouldn't know how to explain it >still want to fuck with the kid, though >lightbulb.png >can't believe I'm doing this, but... >sneak into kid's tent >find his colostomy bag >sneak out innawoods, and fuck it until I came >wash my dick off in a nearby stream, because part of the kid's dinner was in the bag >put it back where I found it >been disgusted with myself since the trip
>I did something awful >be uncle to cripple >go on hunting trip with cripple >fuck cripples shitbag Went a completely different route than I thought
Elijah Fisher
uhhhhh. I don't get it. How does sticking your dick in a bag full of his shit constitute fucking with him? The only one suffering is gonna be you when you get a massive urinary tract infection.
>Fucking the shitbag. What an amateur, you should just ejaculate/piss/spit on it whitout actually making contact with the shit inside
Kevin Wood
>How does sticking your dick in a bag full of his shit constitute fucking with him? Probably about as close to "fucking with him" as you can get without actually having anal sex with the kid.
Michael Smith
>be me >enjoying some early morning Jow Forums >expect to see the usual threads >see greentext thread about hunting, expecting some deer larp or user shoots something he was not supposed to because autism >mfw this thread
Man, I got a better story >Go hunting with some new friends I made in Tennessee in highschool >Small town boys, we all go out deep innawoods on their secret trail >They have bolt actions, I have an old lever action their dad sent me >Night of the third trip, decide to fish instead of eating more jerky >Come back round 2am, having fallen asleep >Hear rustling in the tent >Creep up with my knife (gun was in the tent) >Peel back the door >See two friends fucking >Slowly back away from door >Very loudly drop tacklebox and shit 10 feet away >They scrambled out with their guns at the ready, and also their rifles >I just start mumbling that I feel asleep down at the crick and how I'm just gunna clean this shit up tomorrow >End up sleeping next to the fire outside the tent Bonus >Next day see jizz stains all over guy 2s shirt, guess I startled the cum outta guy 1
