Jow Forums I've never been so serious, but now I need you. I don't even know if this is the right board for this, but, whatever. And I need all the weaponized autism knowledge you can give me. I have a problem and probably only you can help me.
Some dead tree's branches (eyeballing, they probably are less than 2-3 centimeters in diameter) Are blocking my internet antenna's vision, making my internet connection slow and a nightmare.
The plan is to cut those branches from afar, as I have no access to the other's guy place. The execution is still an incognita.
I have access to the rooftop, Target is at about 3 meters afar.
I cannot use guns or anything that would be too loud (and very irresponsable), so I was thinking of using a slignshot (Powered by a pair of scuba hunting rifles elastics) or some kind of frombole I'd need to make.
>No fire allowed as I don't want to go to jail as an arsonist. >No I can't ask the nehibourg to do it as he's a crack head. >Yes It needs to be silent. >Yes I'll do it during a night of full moon so that I can see. >Missing has no downsides, as the tree points towards an open field.
What kind of "rounds" shape do you think would be the more effective to cut those little faggots out? Do you think i'll have enought energy to pull something like that off? Any ideas on how to tackle the problem?
I can give more information, but here's a paint autismo thing I've done to explain the problem.
Any reason why you can't bribe him with a sixpack of bud light in order to let you remove them?
Xavier Russell
yeah, maybe offer him a hit of meth too should be a fun time
Jacob Wilson
You could just wait til they leave for a bit.
Nathaniel Rogers
Seems safer then to fuck with something in his garden. Especially taking note of the fact that methheads don't exactly adhere to normal day/night cycles.
Cameron Jones
He'd take the six pack, tell me he'd do it tomorrow and never actually act. Later he'd ask me 100 bucks to do that and still not do that.
Comunity asked him to remove the rats from his garden once, and did something like that. The time for treaty is over.
I know when he goes to sleep, don't worry. He's a noisy fucker.
I cannot safely access the propiety because he has a camera installed infront of his garden's entrance. (It doesn't look at the house, it looks at the street) Also there are other people around who would question why I'm doing that.
Samuel Anderson
>Are blocking my internet antenna's vision Put it on a PVC pipe in another area you fucking moron.
Carson Roberts
I didn't mean to bribe him to let him do it. I meant that you should bribe him to let you do it. Only pay him after it's done.
Can't do. I'd need an internet guy and in july those fuckers aren't working.
Yes, that's the B plan. If the A plan of not talking with the dude fails.
Because if I ask him, he says no and then he finds his tree ravaged by slingshot shots he'll make 1 and 1 together.
Dominic Hill
I have one of those; I still fear it may be too short/heavy as i'd have to do it from the side of the roof (in horizontal fashon).
Zachary Bennett
1. Anonymously call or message the police 2. Tell the cops he has drugs and youve seen him around the neighborhood lighting a crack pipe 3. Cops show up search house find drugs and arrest him. Most likely he'll post bail but you'll have a couple hours or days. 4. While he's gone trim tree and get rid of branches you've cut. 5. Destroy garden leave note saying "Kill the rats" 6. Destroy anything else you want because you're a faggot and feel like it. 7. Call your Internet company because most likely it's not the tree and the branches being gone didn't change anything You can do step 7 first and avoid a possible retaliation if you ever get caught.
Kayden Lopez
In my state s neighbor can trim a tree that is on another persons property if the branch crosses onto your property.
That or just nail a dead possum to his door
Jaxson Ramirez
Just freaking knock on his door and ask him. Is that too hard for Jow Forums to handle?
Jason Foster
how about you be a normal person and ask if you can set up a ladder to take down his tree branches blocking your antenna?
Luke Scott
Literally and unironically yes.
John Jones
I was just asking what'd be the best stuff to accelerate at high velocity towards his branches to cut them, now how to be a normal person. Leave it behind and focus on the question.
Dominic Rogers
Most likely a .22 caliber air rifle. Or bigger if ya want to spend the money on it. A break barrel Gas Piston air rifle can be had for cheap, is actuate for the distance you are shooting, and quite enough to not notice. Plus if they are only 2cm around then you should be able to snap them with it.
Chase Reed
>Get a suppressed .22 >Get tannerite >Make a satchel of it on a stormy night >Use pole to attach to branches for removal >Detonate it during lightning/thunder >It was an act of God if anyone gets suspicious.
You can tie some extra line to this, throw it over the branch and then somehow get the other end back to you this would work...
Colton Collins
Hit it with a football you turbovirgin
Nicholas Gutierrez
>call cops with anonymous claims of someone doing meth allows them to search said meth head’s house ????
Carter Hall
Move your antenna retard.
Jack Wright
Wtf is going on in this pic? So you are in a fucking apartment and claiming you have property?
Kayden Phillips
>nehibourg I challenge the nehibourg to single combat!
Blake Garcia
>"Can't do. I'd need an internet guy and in july those fuckers aren't working."
It's called "garden"
They're really thin though. Wouldn't it just slide away?
Brandon Jackson
get a fucking pull saw and wake up at 5am you fucking moron. also i doubt the tree has anything to do with it anyways, pay for better internet you cheapass
>a fucking slingshot
Carter Bailey
Buy a cheap orange reflective safety vest and a helmet, say you’re with the phone company and jump the fence with a pole saw. If anyone asks you’re doing work and maintenance on the lines.
>Former At&t lineman here, it was literally my job, and a person would rather get in a screaming match with you than call the cops, especially if they’re sketch
Isaiah Gray
your nehibourg's tree is blocking you from stealing your nehibourg's wifi, eh?
Daniel Brooks
he *thinks* it is.
this thread is good. please dont leave OP, we are here to help you. try hitting your meth pipe and actually going on your roof, you should be able to get a better perspective of what needs to be done. have you seen spiderman before?
Levi Moore
Could you attach a saw to a long and cut the branches off? I don't think he'd notice them cut up there facing away from his home
Isaiah White
he'd need a 1911 and a plate carrier to do this, and he doesnt own those yet.
Jace Evans
nope. nope. this is literally a carnie game thats impossible to win. he might hit the branch 20 times but it will hang on by a thread
