Serious answers only
So what gun would jesus actually pack?
Nathan Harris
Bentley Gonzalez
That antifa member would carry something communist like a french handgun.
Alexander Perez
The Holy Trinity
Jacob Morales
Jace Davis
M249 light machine gun
Easton James
jericho 941 (i know the picture is of the turk knock off just don't feel like looking for it)
Logan Robinson
My cousin Jesus has a highpoint
Brandon Carter
A Tommy gun
Ayden Perez
Jesus didn't carry a weapon, however his disciples did, as Peter cut off somebody's ear with his sword when they came to arrest Jesus. Jesus himself made his own whip to chase greedy merchants out of the Temple of Herod (twice!), but there's no mention of him hurting anybody while doing so, only flipping their tables over as a demonstration against turning sacred places into markets for selling goods.
So, he himself probably wouldn't pack, but it stands as reasonable that he would have a bodyguard or two CCing when he's out on the street.
Colton Baker
maybe one of those pistols that fire rubber bullets or oc spray, thats kinda like a whip
Parker Ross
That's what I was thinking, as well. It's apparent from reading the bible that there's absolutely no stipulation against having weapons, only against using them to attack instead of defend.
>inb4 we should all carry short swords because that's what Jehovah intended
Pic related. This is now a blessed thread.
Thomas Lee
>implying Jesus isn't okay with concealed carry
>"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword"
Ethan Hill
>implying Jesus wouldn't shoulder fire a Browning M2 50 caliber machine gun with silver bullets
Brandon James
A Makarov
Because after 2000 years just like the Bible,
It still works!
Bentley Barnes
YOU WERE ONE OFF ONE FUCKING DIGIT
Justin Sanders
Nailgun. He was a carpenter after all.
Xavier Cook
A colt .45 pistol.
Kayden Richardson
Thomson submachine gun.
Angel Bell
CRIMINALLY underrrated. Also cheka'd.
Kayden Cook
They're all probably atheists or "spiritualists."
Also, God would use a DEW. Big man is into lasers and shit.
Eli White
Sell your cloak for a sword
Lucas Barnes
Hell of a shotgun...
Xavier Hernandez
Probably whatever he felt struck an ideal balance between price comfort and function.
Leo Martin
The same thing Patton carried. More for elegance than anything else.
Matthew Wood
Since I agree with you, here you go.
Leo Bell
galil .308.
its sacred.
Elijah Allen
A nail gun
Jason Rogers
>god doesn't bless guns
I'm sorry, I thought this was a Christian Imageboard!?
>>Luke 22:36
>Then said he unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one.
Jesus wants me packing, and so I am.
>What would Jesus pack.
That is actually a VERY good question! I'm guessing a matte-black single-action revolver. Or two.
Cooper James
>jesus said to sell your cloak to buy a sword
even if you're atheist, you should read the bible
Luis Foster
Something Israeli.
He was a Jew, after all.
Andrew Wood
He told his disciples to carry swords so that he could get arrested and fulfill the prophecy.
Or that's the consensus view among cholars, anyway.
Blake Davis
I did not come to bring *piece*, but a sword.
Jesus confirmed noguns. He's a blade man.
Wyatt James
Luke 22:36
James King
Probably a Glock 19, no matter how much you don't want it to.
>9mm capacity for defending against the groups of people that want you dead
>requires minimal maintenance so you have more time to heal people and play with kids
>tough enough to be used as a makeshift carpentry tool
Christian Wright
Nathan Bailey
so edgy
Elijah Stewart
Swordless scholars, probably. Leave it to the sodomites to extol the virtues of ass-fisting, as usual.
Connor Moore
Gavin Davis
dunno bu jesus was a cutfag so his opinion is automatically disregarded.
David Gomez
>mfw my cousin angel has a tec-9
>mfw he watches our other cousin jesus' back who also has a hi point
>mfw I never got judas to go shooting with all of us
Levi Murphy
Samuel Martinez
Most atheists got there by reading the bible.
Jonathan Cooper
Can confirm.
Joseph Lopez
>God doesn't bless guns
Bullshit, those Orthodox guys get their guns blessed all the time.
Mason Rivera
1911
Aaron Reed
Lmao, no. Most Christians don't even read the bible
Bentley Morgan
Exactly. Most of the ones who do become atheists.
Nathan Lopez
It's gotta be me? Jow Forums, you're slippin'.
Jaxon Barnes
Can confirm what? That you know what every other atheists BUT you did to get there?
What most atheists SAY is that they've read the bible but that is simply them pulling their straps for Muh Euphoric Intellect points. There's a reason why self-professed atheists don't quote the bible outside of six or seven specific verses (which they oft get wrong anyway).
It's possible in the West too but you usually have to go through weirdo cults or find that one expat bunnyhat who live in a rundown shed to do it. Catholics used to be all over that but that sort of fell out of style.
Ethan Torres
at least it's probably much easier to believe if you never read the book.
Colton Cooper
Okay, buddy.
Ryan James
carpenter... got it
David Morris
Gabriel Stewart
"no"
Camden Miller
Guess you could say he got nailed pretty hard
Bentley Myers
Who are you quoting?
Adam Thomas
Watergun to always have wine on tap.
Luis Carter
Connor Howard
King of the jewzis
Isaac Gutierrez
>French
>communist
Tyler Gutierrez
i want to slice my dick into three stretches and put it in there. Lord, this gun is sexy.
Jaxon Moore
Dominic Bennett
Nathaniel Smith
Thats...
Nevermind.
Michael Thomas
M1911
Parker Hall
Joshua Mitchell
That's the most unergonomic thing I've seen, based.
Asher Ortiz
It is working as intended, that is a close range attack when the enemy gets too close.
Jack Diaz
>attack
>french
wew
Hunter Reyes
It's too bad. There's some rad shit in the bible. The parts that aren't X begat Y who begat Z who begat A, are pretty fun. There's definitely a lot of nonsense in it, but if you read it like lord of the rings, it's got some good stuff.
James Ross
A Colt Peacemaker?
Cameron Gray
My neighbour Jesus has what he was calling a "Jimenez".
Logan Sullivan
Too soon
Noah Rodriguez
The french revolution and the paris commune were the original commies m8
Jordan James
Jesus was a jew so deagle brand deagle obviously
Logan Long
>So what gun would jesus actually pack?
>Serious answers only
Well being that Jesus was a jew...
Nathan Bell
Hello operator give me dubs please
Lucas Edwards
>God doesn't bless guns
That's where you're wrong kiddo
Asher Price
A Leviticus 1911. No Lie.
Angel Ortiz
You know damn well that’s not true. I’d bet you’ve read less than 8 books this year, lmfao.
t. atheist
Wyatt Davis
People forget that Jesus commanded his followers to sell their cloaks to buy a sword.
He also used a whip to chase the merchants and moneylenders out of the temple.
And he's supposed to lead the forces of Heaven in the end times. So... Jesus was no hippie.