ITT: Military enlistment questions
Hi i want to join the marines in a couple years but i also want to smoke weed, as of right now i currently never have. i know for the better i shouldn't but IF i do any tips for enlisting, would i tell them i have or lie? it would only be a once or twice thing and i would not do it for like half a year leading to meps, any advice?
Lie
lie
I smoked a joint 2 weeks before I shipped and you're goddamn right I didn't say shit
lie to the recruiter or at the moment of truth or both?
and are there any jobs in the marines that would polygraph to see if i was lying?
Abstain from drugs and alcohol until about 25 after your brain is fully developed and you'll be better for it.
Speaking as a Marine who struggled with alcoholism it's a shitty time man. Plus unless you live in a legal recreational weed state you're probably getting shake from your older brother's dealer.
Not worth the time.
If you're going in and you haven't fucked up anything to lie about why give yourself something to lie about. Forever mind you. I lied about my drug use prior to the Marines and needed to keep my story straight for paper work for another 8 years. It's way less effort to keep your nose clean and tell the truth.
There's plenty of time for drugs and mistakes AFTER you serve. You should be running and doing pull-ups. Not looking for a way to game the system you fucking wannabe showershoe poolee fuck.
Both
Polygraphs are horseshit pseudoscience.
Anything with a secret clearance and above could rate a polygraph. Are you clever enough to cheat it user? Are you sweaty under pressure? Are your friends and family and co-workers going to keep there mouth shut about your drug and alcohol habits? Think it through you fucking retarded cunt.
lie about everything that is bad besides medical shit
and don't tell them you had adhd or whatever no one gives a shit
Is this airsoft? Or is it an actual member of our military.
There is a security clearance that requires a polygraph, so yes.
Best choice is not join and get a career where you'll make good money and not ruin your body
This is good advice but mostly for faggots. There's not even a PT test to be a civilian. Are you a fat body faggot OP?
thanks
no im not fat im just not in shape but im skinny
Or he can get that gi bill and a clearance and roll out after 4 years.
Military dont pay good enough unless your at least O4
i plan to make a career out of it...
nice trips faggot
Facts. Post 9/11 helped me fuck far too many college girls and drink far too often. Hard to say whether or not it was worth it but I'd probably do it again.
You're an idiot
Think again faggot!
guard
its a family thing i would be looked down upon if i didnt
Cool, so you have a family of stupid people.
Way to break the mold, faggot
Do 4. If you can get a great contract with an extremely technical MOS and re up bonuses do 8 max.
Read War Is A Racket. Something to be said when an 2 time MOH recipient says the military is a gang for corporations.
Do your time honorably. Pray your best friend doesn't turn into pink mist while you burn poppy fields so all your friends back home can OD on big pharma drugs instead of heroin. Drink your dick off and learn to clean real well at the same time. Come home and be confused and alienated by old friends and family and then shit post on Jow Forums
See you in 4 years faggot. Hope you're not disabled.
You can join and not make a career out of it. Do your 4 and git out. Free college.
Marines re the worst branch anyways. Anyone who does 20+ in the corps is an idiot, a sadist, and a masochist. The exception, of course, being Mattis.
Marines literally have the worst duty stations.
>29 Palms
>Parris Island
>Lejeune
They even manage to make nice places suck, like San Diego. Pendelton and Oceanside are a cesspool. K-bay in Hawaii too.
imma get alot of shit for this but i wanted to go marsoc...
>Keks in Muhreen
He's right user. The last war for the good was Dubya Dubya Eye Eye. And even that shit got weird.
>TFW you'll never actually kill a facist
>TFW you gave your peak performance years to get out performed by drones
>TFW you realize that if you where a brown dude who just wanted to fuck goats and grow opium you'd shoot at Americans too
>TFW you realize that wars are started by men who never fight them.
But hey tradition is tradition. Show your daddy youre a big man even as a double amputee. Bet he'll love and respect you then.
>imma
have fun
Got Non selected twice homie AMA
Most people in any kind of SF related shit didn't wind up doing cool guy shit by joining with that intention. Usually they're from people who are already in who want to improve themselves.
99% of faggot who say they want to join and go SF/Seals/Marsoc/etc. don't cut it and wind up as infantry sweeping the motorpool in a unit that won't deploy while they're in.
were you trying to join marsoc?
Lulz.
But yea, literally no point in joining during a time of peace.
Best to hope for is rando living acts in a hot sandy shithole.
All for what? Pleasing your daddy issues?
>Be Marine in K-Bay
>Go Innawoods
>Campingusedtobefun.jpg
>Return to briks
>Goodnewseveryone.mp3
>Barracks has black mold.
>Be innatent
>Stay innatent for indeterminate amount of time
>Get back in barracks
>Still black mold
Fuckin Hawaii is exotic tho
well my intentions were to eventually get there but go 311 then try for 317 then do that for a while and see if i get selected
>This
I work with a guy who is former army SF.
Said he got out because you do one tour maybe doing some shit and after that you go be an instructor or something stupid.
Went to ASPOC twice in one year. Never even got on the bus to the secret squirrel A&S place that is actually just AP Hill. I'll tell you whatever it is you wanna know. Had a buddy make it he had fun till his knees blew out.
FUCKING CHECK EM
Stop..its not 2007 anymore
>be soldier in colorado
>sweat balls off in summer
>freeze balls off in winter
>innawoods on days off
>go back to barracks
>nice barracks cuz air farce base
>go to fart carson sometimes for army shenanigans
>get to work with 10th group guys on occasion
>call cav scouts faggots
>tinder it up with college hoes
>get in bar fights in denver
8/10 would enlist again
>scout sniper
you beat off to jarhead huh
just general tips/helpful advice ive talked to a few raiders b4 so i dont really have any questions
This is facts. Anyone going through the pipeline on a fast track is outta there brain. Most MARSOC cats are 26-35 and married believe it or not. I went to ASPOC at 21 as an E4 without a deployment and basically got laughed at for 10 weeks.
Anyone have AF security forces experience? I work in a state prison, and this shit is killing me. The facility I work at is draining my will do do anything with my life, and our own Warden hates us officers. I just want a /comfy/ AF job so I can do my 4 years and get free school so I can move on to a better Federal LEO job. Thoughts?
go for it, enlist, shoot for the stars and dont settle for anything less then ur capable of
>comfy air force job
>secfo
pick one
You will stand outside all the time checking ID's at the gate and patrolling the perimeter.
Obnoxious fat colonels will say "Stay dry defender!" even if it's sunny
Or you could get stationed at Minot and clean up the suicides while you freeze you dick off.
i think you are in for a rude awakening my dude
probably
Man, that sounds like cake compared to what I do now. On a normal day, I have to look after 192 female inmates by myself. The administration refuses to discipline them correctly, and treats them like children unless they do something serious.
im praying that pic is an airsoft fag but if the dude in pic can get in so can you
I'm just saying that secfo is the bottom of the barrel. Pick something with transferable skills or some job satisfaction, ie. medical or intel. You'll get out of secfo and be like "well fuck I guess I'll go back to working at the prison"
How does one such as this make it into that uniform in the first place?
Buy it because its airsoft
>the marines
No just chew on crayons like the rest of the jarheads faggot
MARSOC is young. They've only just found out that they're not fuckin DA cowboys after the shit show in Afghan and have begun more of a Foriegn Internal Defense scheme with the Philippines. That said they're still gunning for their position in SOCOM and it's a great place to be as a Marine.
That said if you're all hurr Durr lemme smoke some weed and lie. Kick rocks faggot. Ain't that simple. The paperwork to get accepted to ASPOC will take you a month to complete, that's if your command plays ball.
Next everyone you've ever sat next to at lunch is gonna get looked at. Got any shitty friends? Better cut ties.
Let's say you're a water walker and you make it to ASPOC. Congrats no small feat. However, there are men who are certainly stronger, faster, smarter, and more experienced than you, probably a like 7 dozen if we're going to be honest and they all want YOUR spot at A&S. How are you gonna beat them user? What are you bringing to the table? Are you gonna GO GIT SUM in OEF? Is OEF still happening even? And comeback and show the cadre that you can hang? Or are you gonna do the bare minimum and hope you skate by?
The Minimum is mighty fucking large too homie. Are you running 300 P/CFTs? How's your swimming? Can you do 500 Meters in under 9 minutes? How about the length of an Olympic pool underwater?
Can you do all that and then take a test designed to make you think you're paranoid and crazy?
That's just ASPOC. A&S is a whole nother beast. And don't forget ITC Scuba and Jump school.
You're talking about YEARS of training in the hardest schools in the military and then passing and then getting to the teams.
ALSO hope you're not autistic because peer evaluation is a real mother fucker.
All that. Probably 10-12 years of your life if you're real smarter and lucky and then you get to gloat about it forever and nobody cares but a few faggots on a Cambodian Bootleg Forum.
If you want it get it faggot. Ask yourself first if it's worth your time.
If I get my degree and I have a few years of corrections and some secfo experience, getting in to the Marshalls service would probably be pretty easy.
100% marshalls won't care about any secfo exp. If anything, federal/local leo looks down on mp/secfo because your military le exp doesn't shape up with civilian le exp
fucking moron, if you actually wanted to go marsoc you be working your ass of 24/7 not fucking around with weed like a little bitch
What would be your MOS suggestion then?
Something that gets you a job in the private sector when you get out. That or a trade.
why the FUCK are people like this?!
>hurr durr that is better than my current predicament so i'll take it
>yes but you can just as easily do something magnitudes better for yourself
>but this is better i'll take it!
it is legitimate peasant mindset and will keep you at the bottom forever.
I'll check out some other stuff, thanks bud
Intel, medical, maintenance if you're so inclined for that, maybe even admin.
I did intel in the army on air force bases and I had a blast.
do it man itll be a blast even if it sucks ass at times
why would secfo be a blast?
why are you the samefag hashing on it over and over like a little twat? its a job like any other, do it get payed get layed and move on
He's fucking with you
>implying secfo ever gets pussy under 250lbs
>There's not even a PT test to be a civilian
check em. that's how we cure the obesity epedemic. make everyone do mandatory yearly PT test, if they don't pass they have 6 months to retry and if they dont pass again get euthanized.
Army or Airforce? If so fuck you.
>Muh Corps
>Muh Blues
>Muh Crossed Rifles
>Muh Sunk Cost
First thought when I hit the footprints was "Shoulda joined the Airforce."
They have the prettiest wooks
This. Over 9000
I worked for a year before I put my package in after I got Corporal and still didn't make it.
If you only smoke once or twice half a year before MEPS, you will be perfectly fine.
It will be well out of your system by then. Even if you're a heavy stoner smoking mulitple times a day it takes 3 months at MOST for all the THC to leave your body.
t.
Seasoned pot smoker who's very adept at passing drug tests
>can swim 500 in 7 minutes
>can hold breath a for 50 meters
>grew up a swimmer
but a 300 p/cft, is that even possible?
Not ethuanised but I legit don't think anyone should be able to to vote until some sort of mandatory govt service at 21. Not necessarily the military because "muh conscientious obejectioms" but mostly because I think that people don't fuckin rate unless they prove they actually give a shit what's happening in the country.
cft sure.
pft is quite difficult due to the run.
Army on an air force base adjacent to Denver. Living the good life.
I never fucked with the air force hoes, they all be nuts. There was this one who was a 9 but went awol to canada and cut some dudes balls off.
that's been my 2nd post itt and do go on and explain how secfo would be a prime pick and how much fun someone can have doing it versus other afsc's.
Yo who's man is this? Yeah bruh it's possible and it happened a lot. Never hit a 300 PFT but I was 285 club all through my service. 300 CFT was honestly easier than anything else but it breaks you off real quick need to have a balance of explosion and endurance. My 3 mile always FUCKED my PFT I can run a 7 minute mile for 3. Or a 4 minute mile for half a mile. Those are my only speeds.
That's my kind of lady. Buddy of mine got raped by a female Marine. I say raped because he was either blackout or asleep at the time but he came to tried to end it and she literally MCMAPed the cum out his dick.
If she was an Airforce 9 it probably wouldn't have been rape. But she was a Marine 4.
Never let him live that down.
I miss the early 00s when rape could still be hilarious.
Guy in my unit got raped by an air force 4 chick. He was so drunk he could barely function, she gave him boner pills.
Makes sense that the women who look like dudes are also as rapey as the dudes I suppose.
Those who won't be given any always take it.
Why can't ugly people fuck each other, instead of raping pretty people?