I just went to a shooting range for the first time and was surprised to see that they didn't have any crab legs for sale, much less any other type of concessions. I feel like I have been led to believe that most places sell crab legs and other snack foods to their customers.
What type of snacks do they sell at your shooting range, anons? Is my experience normal? This seems to me like going to a ballpark and not finding any peanuts.
pic unrelated
What kind of shitty range do you have that doesn't just give you crab legs?
This. At my range, the crab legs are included in the price of admission. It is a members-only range though, so maybe that's why
Admission? You don't have a yearly subscription like a county club? Please tell you at least have a yearly gala at your range otherwise I would look for a new one.
My range has a beautiful assortment of crab legs, Cajun food and funeral potatoes. Make sure that you do not order the baked beans, people WILL make fun of you, I know from experience. If the penis inspector thinks you have a good looking schlong, you might get a sweet 50% off your crab leg bucket. Another thing to keep in mind is that you will not want others handling your gun, as their hands will be caked with butter and hot sauce.
If we run out of crab, I usually just settle for the prawns
>his range doesn’t offer cum brownies
The baked beans at my range have the same stigma. I think they just serve them right out of the can. We don't have a penis inspector, but it is a privately-owned range so they don't have to comply with all the same regulations
My range has concessions covered with the cost of membership fees. Usually the attendants will deliver snacks and drinks around on platters and such, but there's a sort of buffet table if you want something specific.
>the range trap keeps giving me free cum brownies
I always give them to my lizard, Goliath, but he's starting to get fat
Do you ever tip the attendants? Not sure what the custom is. My local range is state run so they usually have a bucket of crab legs out, but you gotta go early or they'll run on before the end of the day.
>cum brownies
someone gib that greentext right here right now, when some Jow Forums faggots made a meetup and was greeted with cum brownies
>Condensed milk now looks like cum
God, you people are fucking idiots.
There's actually a fascinating culture among range attendants. Usually the first one that delivers to you will be the only one that does so for the extent of your visit. It's understood among attendants that it's first-come-first-served when it comes to the visitors. You're more or less supposed to keep a running tab with your attendant, how well they take care of you and how often, then tip appropriately before you leave.
>OP goes to range
>doesn’t get any crab legs
I’m sure range officer just didn’t want to bring them to you
You gonna make more videos or what?
>youtube in 2018
nice try
>he doesnt know about Jow Forums fag that gave out cummied brownies
condensed sweet milk is god tier, fuck you
Guys, my range showers don't have any dividers at all, just poles with 4 shower heads on each of them. I'm always embarrassed to go in and I don't want people to see my penis so I use the far back one and turn my back. They can see my butt but I think that's okay.
Does anyone else have this problem?
I don't bother showering after I shoot from the range hot tub, the brass jews clean all the metal dust off my feet anyways
user, where you went was not a real range. From your description it sounds like a mafia front or some sort of human trafficking operation. I strongly advise you not to return.
>tfw when the range trap has a thing for you and hand delivers crab legs and butter
I don't like seafood, so I usually go for the filet mignon.
Erections are normal, they're nothing to be ashamed of.
>My local range is state run
Ours is in a national forest so the Forest Service is in charge. They only have one attendant who doubles as the range trap but they at least have a trough where she puts out fresh crab legs for visitors each morning. If you don't grab a plate before it starts to warm up the brass jew will dart out of his den and bogart the whole thing. He fucked up the attendant's eye last month so now she won't cattleprod him back into the den. We have to distract him with mag dumps of brass case just to get seconds. I'm serious starting to consider a new range but I still have another 4 years on my membership contract.
What in the holy fuck is this thread? What range has food let alone crab legs? What am I reading?
>she
I think it’s the new “Penis inspection day” range meme
Her employment contract requires her to be on HRT. At least she has a nice ass.
>his range doesn't have a seafood concession stand attached
I bet your range doesn't even have a valet, you unwashed peasant
>go to a new, fancy high-tech shooting club that a friend of mine goes to
>they have electronic menus in the lanes so you can order your range snacks without even having to go to the snack bar like you have to at most ranges
>tfw you get stuck on range trap duty but you can't find your good flecktarn stockings
American ranges are way better than europoor ones, because of our 2nd amendment and the consequent extensions from it. You should visit sometime to see what its about, just don't go to a range in Jersey, they have weird laws.
>new
Could be worse OP.
My range has a "no singles policy" in effect thanks to all the recent mass shootings.
>Go to local gun range
>Put on my best trenchcoat and fedora
>gun store clerk is a qt
>I ask for one lane, trying not to spill my spaghetti
>"That'll be 38.50$ USD"
>I try to correct her, telling her I only want one lane
>"Sir, you do know we have a no singles policy, right?"
>I start sweating and getting anxious
>She goes to get her manager
>Manager comes over
>"I'M SORRY SIR BUT WE HAVE A NO SINGLES POLICY, YOU ARE ONLY ALLOWED TO BUY ONE IF YOU ARE TAKING SOMEONE ELSE TO GO SHOOTING, FOR EXAMPLE YOUR GIRLFRIEND"
>He practically screams this out loud
>"YOU DO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, DON'T YOU SIR?"
>Can feel everyone looking at me
>"S-sorry", I mutter
>I grab my money and go
>As I'm leaving I hear people snickering and talking about me
>Try walking faster
>Suddenly hear "HEY, VIRGIN!"
>I look around
>A group of HS girls all take pics of me on their smartphones when I look
>They all laugh at me while fingering themselves through their leggings and booty shorts
>Soon everyone at the range is laughing and pointing at me
>I pull my trenchcoat collar up so no one can see me crying
>Run outside to the parking lot
>Hide in my trenchcoat and fedora, hoping no one will recognize me
>Text mom to pick me up
>She has to leave work early to come get me
>Wipe my tears on the way home
Fucking no singles policy.
I taught my range falcon to catch my 7.62 brass in mid-air. Everyone always stands and claps but I noticed the brass jew watching her cage when I was refilling her Monster drip bottle last night. Guys, I'm worried about my falcon but the range officer only growls and pulls at his chains when try and tell him. I'm seriously scared they'll revoke my gilded crab bucket privilege if my falcon can't do tricks at the monthly inter-range airsofter execution and buffet. Our trap gave me sloppy bj in the range shower to help me clear my head but I'm terrified. Any thoughts?
Candy bars, soft drinks and coffee at mine.
I fucking hate crab so I don't mind that they don't have crab legs.
Also what episode is that from, I haven't seen it
>his range doesn't have crab legs
next you're gonna tell me your range doesn't have brass dwarves or a range jester
I taught my rifle to catch it's own brass. This way I don't have to deal with falcon shit everywhere.
Crab legs came along way before penis inspection day buddy
What’s the best way to get range tickets? My range has a SCAR 17 for 10,000 tickets. I’ve been spending the last couple of weeks running the VR mass shooter scenario game but even when I pull things off almost perfectly and take him down with no casualties I still only get maybe 50 tickets. Which range game gives out the most tickets?
You can get a thousand if you manage to give a wedgie to the range jester
I've been getting the range trap to bring them to me as a reward for helping me on the sexual shooting only lanes, it's easy as pie. Just don't let the range guard see you or he'll have the jester up your ass for a month
>just don't go to a range in Jersey, they have weird laws.
Mandatory oatmeal at the breakfast buffet is just scratching the surface.
honestly guys, newfag/noguns here, when did the whole crab legs and snack meme come from? i’ve been to several ranges before but never seen a free snack stand. some sell monster and candy bars tho
I hear the brass jew hoards tickets in his lair. The owner pays him in antique door knobs to steal tickets when people aren't looking so he doesn't have to give out prizes. You have to grease yourself up and slide in there when a prestige member is on the range minigun and he's busy eating brass. Just don't get caught in there or he'll suffocate you like a wombat.
You gotta be in the know. Work your way up at your current range and they might invite you to start off as the range trap at one of the lesser (but still prestegious) private ranges
see
I started out as a range trap (manlet with a nice legs), and they just kept me in the position. I get prestige benefits though, it's a good deal
>yearly gala
This. Anybody that doesn't have this or an equivalent is seriously missing out. My range is in the Las Vegas area so we get to see tons of hasguns celebrities OCing their Mateba revolvers and gold tiger stripe deagles.
I've got some land I wanted to turn into a range but I'm leery of recruiting wild brass Jews and I don't even have a good candidate for a range trap. Alaskan buddy has a hookup on good crab legs though, you guys got any recommendations for an upcoming range owner?
do you know anyone who's prestige II or III?
I've heard you gotta give up all your benefits and start at square 1 but you're eligible for more rewards as you climb back up the ladder
Last time I went the valet stole my change and the lobster was very rubbery, but the crab legs were delicious
I'm so glad my local range recently got bought out by the nearby kinoplex. Robert's service is truly supreme.
how much time did you spend on this damn
The prestige III range daddy who occasionally comes by got lucky with the ticket jackpot once, and he used all of them to buy prestige III. I think it's a waste personally, but the other range trap is all over him for his free Obrez.
Feels bad man
[spoiler]I just Googled "kinoplex Robert".[/spoiler]
NEW
You really outdid yourself. Golf clap.
My range has a fridge we can grab drinks out of and some cheap cigars because the owner loves em.
I had to request a transfer to a new range. Mine had great crab legs but their food prices for my falcon were absurdly high.
Robert really is the best crab leg hookup, isn't he.
It's a meme thrown together by people with just enough brain cells to get onto the internet without shitting their pants.
If you want the serious answer I'm fairly certain airborne lead issues and food don't exactly jive well.
OKAY NOW I KNOW YOU MADE THIS
>food prices for my falcon were absurdly high.
There's a range in a state park in Denver and there's a dude selling hot dogs there, shit's pretty good. Word up bird up to my hotdog man.
>tfw my local range actually does have concessions/food offerings but now it's just a meme
why is it so absurd you shouldn't have drinks and snacks if you're shooting for hours at a time?
at my range, they tell us to watch for rattle sneks when retrieving your targets
Yah boi got you with them legs go SNAP feel?
>mfw range waiter gets my order wrong
>mfw range busboy sweeps my brass away before l can collect it
>mfw bullet retriever gets uppity about getting shot at
>mfw gun oil dispenser is never full
Swear to god this place has gone downhill so fast the last year
All memes aside do richfag private gun clubs with ridiculous amenities exist? I bet they do.
But you have to admit the sonic gun cleaner was a nice addition. I like goosing the trap while he cleans my funs
My range used to be a Pizza King, and they kept the miniature train that delivers your drinks.
I ate those brownies. They were the best brownies I ever had
I mean it’s neat, but l really miss the nigger they had shining them by hand
He’d sit there on his little stool and polish away, whistling while he worked
Then ring that bell and shout your lane number
Real classy shit
Snappy Spappy was the best. RIP gun shine nigger. F
Does your range do a patriotic spread from time to time? Mine does local grass fed burgers with potato salad, cheese fries, chicken fried steak, watermelon, and of course apple pie
My range actually has a no groups policy
they want to minimize gang activity and possible multiple mass shooter scenarios
>They fired the trap who brought around the purging bucket after I've had my fill of crab legs
This place is fucking bullshit.
I get what you mean, but I miss you. You're cool.
My range once tried to do something similar before the spread started becoming popular. It was Slav Saturday and the range was full of people in old Soviet gear firing AKs, as well as the local Jow Forumsunts who were firing their newly owned moist nuggets.
It was, of course, a disaster. After they ran out of bowls people resorted to eating the Borscht by hand. Not enough potatoes. People literally chugging vodka with their asses. Someone found an old rusty Makarov inside the mayonnaise tray.
Weird. Because baked beans at my range is generally frowned upon but it’s the fried okra that they treat you like that for not getting.
I just go with a friend in wig, if you've good cool with the trap they'll let you in. We give each other friendship handjobs afterwards, a win-win.
holy shit how do so many of you guys have such sweet ranges? they sound like country club tier. my range just has a vending machine with overpriced candy bars and $1.25 cans of soda and outdoor water fountains, but i dont trust the water to be lead free
It's a meme you dip
>Tfw work as the range trap but my boss won't let me use the range jaccuzi unless I wear a bikini
Wait, you mean you guys don't have to pay for unleaded water?
>range officer calls 3rd cold range in 10 minutes because some idiots falcon got loose again
Holy shit, I hate the Falcon guys.
But ever since the owner started offering elephant rides, my range has been a literal shitshow.
At my range, they have both leaded and unleaded water fountains. The unleaded fountain is used by the Prestige members, while the leaded fountain is used by Basic members. I think it was originally the Coloreds' water fountain, but they have been banned from the range for so long that nobody knows for sure
do i even want to know?
>tfw brass jew also jews your range poutine
I've never seen poutine at a range in the States but last time I was in Canada I went to one of their socialized ranges and they had a whole poutine buffet. Unfortunately their jester replaced all the cheese curds with mini marshmallows and the range trap kept laughing at me because I don't speak French.
>Fucking no singles policy.
It doesn't even limit mass shootings, we allbknow Eric and Dylan didn't fly solo.
>no crab legs at a shooting range
Wat
Crab legs ain't cheap nigga, and why would some range buy a bunch of crablegs to stink up their range so some fat faggot can suck on their buttery bug meat
My range hands out a red bull and a gyro with every lane. Is this just a Chicago thing? I always confused when other ranges out of states don't offer it
>food
>at a gun range
How are you this fat AND retarded
In jersey you cant shoot by yourself unless you have your FOID
>european ranges don't even have crab legs
unsurprising, do they also force you all to take turns as the range trap?
>I'm from Texas
Crab legs are expensive as shit here
And also eating bug legs should be left to the savages
>>not liking some morning oatmeal
The absolute state of Jow Forums