How do you deal with ninja's?

A secret highly trained and highly determined team of ninja's is hired to assassinate you
They keep tabs on you around the clock, know your routine, schedule and habbits

What do you do as a response?

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youtu.be/U7mkPsawKpE
watch 1:30

You don’t. Ninjas deal with you.

I expected nothing less
FUCK YEAH

Easy. Start becoming unpredictable and erratic. Sleep odd hours at random times. Go out randomly. Do weird things in view of the window like mock blowjob a loaded pistol and play Russian roulette with a gun and a dead round to make them think I don’t fear death. Stare at random bushes or trees holding a sign saying “I know you’re there”, they’ll either believe they’re compromised or think someone even more undetectable is there. Or in just crazy. Then I start jerking it to very specific “white guy dominating traditional Japanese girl in kimono” porn as well as videos of Nagasaki and Hiroshima. Then let them make the first move

So what?
Pay them more?

pull a .38 taurus and fire only one time before the cylinder happens to fall off

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Not so secert if I discover them

Pretty big IF

Yell “June 4th tiananmen massacre” down the street. Let the secret police deal with them

Pirates, now get you sneaky pussy fuckwits

I could've of sworn that the Ninja clans were more loyal to their lords than the fucking Samurai...so that's not going to work probably.

Ninjas are Tojos. Not chinks.

“Ninjas” were sent to kill samurai who have been dishonorable. Some were pretty sneaky but it’s been extremely romanticized and blown out of proportion like pirates.

my response? I hire the ninja's natural enemy.
I hire pirates.
And not the parkinson, twitchy, edgy, faggot pirates either.
I hire the rapin an pillagin kind.

Then yell "NANKING DID HAPPEN, GIVE ME REPERATIONS"

holy shit

Pirates are real yo
Easy to laugh it off now but if you hear a parrot squak outside your window one night you better batten up your goddamn hatches

beat their master but spare his life in order to request their servitude in one final mission.

destroying the zog

I'll call the ATF and tell them I have a doggo that owns a silencer, make popcorn, go out and sit on the porch and watch the epic shootout.

Then I will put all the corpses in the ATF truck, place an ANTIFA badge on one of the ninjas and a Vote Clonton badge on one of the ATF guys, and collect all the gear and weapons. I'll keep the guns and sell everything else on Ebay, then live happily to the end of my days.

Simple - set yourself on fire

Fuck I lost it

Where did the taurus touch you?

Unlock my door at night and put a sign reading "pls" on my doorknob

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The ninja costume is a creation of kabuki theatre. Anything in black was treated as invisible by the audience. It is doubtful that any ninja actually dressed this way. Knowing this, you can be sure that you are facing a bunch of Japanese drama school dweebs and can take their lunch money without difficulty.

One Ninja cannot be defeated.

A group of ninjas cannot help but be defeated.

I'm gonna need some help.
>youtube.com/watch?v=2evKkHi_qmo

If anything pirates were deromanticized, they were often folk heroes and integral parts of sea based economies and warfare. Today they’re mostly thought of as criminals in flashy clothes.

fuck I raffed