Butter sock

Reminder: she was probably molested by Dan The Feet man Schneider.

+1 damage if it's a black sock.

Well she's BLACKED by KARA BOGA now

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You fuckers are joking but this shit is why my highschool stopped allowing the culinary class to have sticks of butter.

did some autist actually stuff a stick of butter in his sweaty socks and beat people up with it?

Oh hell yeah! I only buy Kerrygold.

We need common sense butter control to protect our children.

Sock party anyone?
youtube.com/watch?v=MsUmP1PGBGE

>they didn't ban padlocks

will the ATF start beating up my dog with a butter sock for having a stick of assault butter?

Yes actually so here’s the story.
>be 1st period sous chef (teacher is head)
>two black chicks arguing over making butter cream frosting
>one doesn’t want to make the frosting because it’ll mess up her skin
>sheboon chimping ensues
>the second, takes off one of her shoes and a sock, puts the butter in it
>bitch you ain’t gonna do shit
>WHAM!
>silence
>WHAM!
>WHAM!
>WHAM!
>how’s yo skin now butter bitch?
>by this time the SROs has been called and arrived to see a one shoed black girl holding a greasy sock and another beaten on the floor
>bans butter
>but we can keep knives and cutting forks
already banned because of locker searches.

>fucking niggers
fucking mad gal

I honestly have nothing but respect for the offending she-boon.

I’d say its been 8 or 9 years since the last time I rammed a stick of butter up my ass while jerking off and fingering my asshole. I did it because it felt really good but that’s not the point of this story. I want to tell you of the events proceeding this fateful masturbation.
I’m sitting there watching The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and around 15 minutes go by and I feel a sticky wetness on my ass cheeks and ballsack. This is when I realized that the butter I had shoved up my asshole had melted and leaked out onto my couch and it had a very distinct putrid stench to it. It had mixed with my shit to create something far worse than shit. It was probably the worst thing I’ve smelt in all my life. It actually smelt many times worse than the time I had stuck a pickle up my asshole and forgot about until the morning after.
While standing there taking in this wonderfully putrid smell I realize that I cannot be the only one to smell this. So I walked quickly upstairs with my ass cheeks clenched not wanting to spill a drop of my shit butter. I pull out from my sock drawer a heavy woolen sock and unload the contents of my asshole into it. I thought the smell was bad before. I now had the urge to do a barrel roll out my window to escape the horrid odor. I quickly tied the top of the sock and left my house.
As I walked down the street a brownish-yellow liquid slowly dripped from the bottom of the sock. The neighborhood kids became very curious as to what was going on and as they approached they caught a whiff of the putrid smell emanating from the sock. This is when Joanna, my neighbors 13 year old daughter vomited what looked like a freshly eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich all over the street. I nearly came in my pants at that moment. I had the sickest hard on. In fact the only thing keeping me from raping Joanna while she lay in a pool of her own vomit was my sock full of shit butter.

(Cont.)

I knew I had something to do and I was damn sure going to do it. I kept walking. I finally made it to my local grocery store. An epic journey it had been. Every asshole in the vicinity could smell the putrid odor but nobody knew where it came from. I can still hear them in my mind. “What the fuck is that smell.” “This smell is so bad I think I am going to kill myself with a hammer” one man said. I even saw a fellow depraved maniac in the corner of my eye. I could tell because he had the same smile that I did. He was laughing with the same glee. I’m sure he’s raped a severely mentally challenged child in his lifetime. I know I have.
That’s when I saw him. The old nigger who sat in front of shoprite saying hello to every asshole strolling by. I fucking hated this man. I couldn’t tell you why. I just hated him. He could smell my shit butter. I could tell because he was gasping for air. I quickly approached him thinking “this will be the greatest day of my life. Nothing could stop me now.” This is when I felt a sudden burst. I realized later that I had shot a load off in my pants right at that moment.
I was arms length from the nigger now. I clenched the sock tight with both hands and swung it at the niggers face with all my might. I hit him in the cheek with such force that the brownish-liquid had sprayed out all over his face. He immediately threw up. I sat back laughing as he washed out his eyes with bottled water. He asked “why?” and I responded by dumping the rest of the socks contents on his head. Truly, I did it for the lulz.
While everybody was distracted I walked into shoprite and quickly shoved as many apples as I could up my ass. It was 4. I left shoprite with the most satisfaction I have ever felt in my life. I remember thinking “wow, I’m such a great person, I get 4 free apples, and I get to go home and jerk off to CP.”
When I think back on that day, I can always remember how sweet those apples tasted. Nothing sweeter.

Oh

I came to this

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Disfuckingusting.

goddammit you beat me to it

there can be only one

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what the fuck copypasta

If I freeze the buttersock and then super glue thumb tacs to the outside of the sock, it would be effective

Just get a rock

>OI MATE YA GOT A LOICENSE FA DAT BUTTA

Swap the butter for a snooker ball and you're onto a winner.

would a bunch of rocks also work?

38882000
38882012
Not even funny dude.

It was pretty funny

Why not make a golem?

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>being this new

This copypasta is older than you, reddit.

it's so horrible that i couldn't help but laugh.
damn if true you need to get thrown in a dumpster fire.

I thought that was a giant cum-filled condom at first.

Welcome to Jow Forums faggot.

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THE FOOTMAN STRIKES AGAIN

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>tfw ywn get to see Carly & Sam experiment & do lesbian stuff

or a padlock. like they do in prison.

Lol watching the Barney Fife CEO feebly try to break up Shaniqua fights was the best

the show's buttersock actually had batteries in it.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=xTnZW74S6AQ
I found this song the other day, and I think that it matches the direction this thread is going in perfectly.

Based

You mean Dan "Get In My Van" Schneider?

You mean Dan "the hymen divider" Schneider?

Isn't this that show that's more popular with pedophiles than children?

its not the brand as much as the temperature, leave it in the fridge, or even better the freezer, for a few days

IAll these newfags piss me off. I'm actually happy this was posted, it's ooooooooooold.

Its a classic. From a Golden Age.

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Kim possible?

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a fucking leaf

I know this is a meme but you should really go for something that doesn't melt like literally any other hard object

Golly

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Jesus fuck. Fandoms were a mistake.

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FUNNY POWDER FUNNY POWDER

Just when I was giving up on this board

>locker searches

You have no rights in glorified prisons known as public schools and it fucking burns me up

BEAT THE POT UP WITH THE LOCK IN THE SOCK

BANANAS IN THE DRACO EXTENSIONS IN GLOCKS

HIT IT WITH THE WATER MAKE IT REROCK

That’s what happens when you let the fucking niggers live amongst whites.

It bothers me because we're basically teaching upcoming members of society to be pushover slaves for the state

I DID IT. Name: Crappy daddy the pervert (August 16 Wednesday 07:14:22)

Yesterday on August 15, the three of us, Me (53 years old), the dirty fetish workman (45 years old) who sent me an E-mail the other day, and the usual old bum (60 years old), enjoyed having group sex under the riverbank in the northern part of Okayama.

Because the next day was a holiday, and the it was a quiet place, there was nothing to prevent us from getting high. So we went to a convenience store to buy alcohol and some snacks. After boozing up, we started to suck and fuck each other. While licking our cocks, all of us but Jikatabi took off our clothes, so that Ichijiku could give enemas to each of us (up the ass).

After a while, I felt my anus twitching, and there was shit churning in my stomach in search of exit. Tasting the workman's anus, with my hip on the old bum's head, he suddenly spewed his shit into my mouth. With that start, me and the old man also gushed out. My face was completely covered with shit. Spreading our shit onto our bodies, sucking our shitty dicks, giving enemas with our pee. Ahhhhh...... that really hit the spot!

You know, it felt insanely good to give enemas again after playing around a bit. It felt so good to thrust my cock into the bum's ass, the combination of pee and shit worked very well. The workman was also fucking the old bum. He thrusted his cock into the bum's mouth and shaked his hips skillfully. While scraping-off the old man's shit-covered cock, I ejaculated with all my might. From that, we spread some more shit onto each others' bodies, sucking our shit-covered cocks like mad, and I came twice with macho semen. I want to do it again.

It's true, having group sex while covered by shit is amazing. Why don't you play with me, an old pervert?

AHhhhhh^^~~~ I can't wait to become covered in shit again.

>all those digits
checked and fandom is cancer confirmed

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I went to a private catholic school and they did the same shit. They would have drug dogs periodically come through. Other friends went to protestant schools and same shit more or less. My school was great because it was all rich white trust fund babies and the football was full of black people and not niggers.

that was the specific purpose of public schools
public is for goyim
private is for their owners

if you love your kids, you'll send them to a private school

>not using a towel and a bar of soap

Listen here, millennial. If a washcloth and bar of soap was good enough to beat Gomer Pyle into not eating jelly donuts, it's good enough for you.
_____________________________
Vietnam veteran
1963-1969
Purple Heart after breaking my middle finger flipping off commie protestors
Vietnam- 7 letters, Clinton- 7 letters; Coincidence? No.
Anyone who runs is a VC; FACT

lil racist white boy !

>butter
>not coins
Idea: A+
Effort: C

fuck butter; use soap

>fuck butter; use soap
Butter not listen to this guy.

That explains why my HS has only 1/2 cup butter cubes now.

I think soap would take offense to what he said more than butter.