I spent 2 weeks in the selection process for the French foreign legion before I left voluntarily. 25 yr old white Canadian. I’m homeless sitting in a Tim Hortons and I’m bored, AMA desu. I snuck pic related right before I left.
French foreign legion
Owen Murphy
William Nguyen
Why’d you leave voluntarily? Maybe the same kind of temperament is the reason you’re homeless.
Logan Watson
Get your shit rocked or be homeless
Go back faggot
Justin Young
Why did you leave?
Tell me about the selection process.
Jayden Howard
I’m not permanently homeless or broke, I just got back from France and don’t have a place to live yet. I ended everything (rent,job, etc.) before I left of course.
I left because I realized that there is nothing glorious or edifying about being surrounded by dirt poor Russians, mopping and sweeping floors for 6 hours a day, and being commanded by genuine morons. Most of the others were desperate for the money, which would be a wage increase compared to their countries, I just wanted an adventure. I learned a lot in my 2 weeks there, and it definitely permanently squashed any ideas of military service (I had none prior to this).
Noah Adams
the reality of it all right here.
Zachary Campbell
Even though you’re homeless, take solace in the fact you’re not in some african shithole, dodging bullets and aids, putting your dick on the line to defend french speaking niggers from other niggers.
Brody Gray
The reason why some people are open to this is that the why doesn’t matter to them, only that they get to fight.
Sebastian Powell
Here's the selection process. I probably forgot a bit, but here goes.
Day 1:
Arrive at center in Aubagne, France at 12:30. Nobody from the FFL shows up until 3:30, sitting on a bench until then with a Colombian, a Frenchman, a Nepalese, a sub-saharan African and 2 North Africans.
Show passport, African doesn't have, goes home, do 5 pull-ups (form must be perfect; all the way down, straight arms or it doesn't count). Neither North African can do them without cheating (lel), corporal gets pissed off and tells them to go home.
4 of us left, everything we have in our bags is cataloged, phone, money, bank cards, anything sharp is taken away from us.
We are taken into the camp, it seems very, very large. We are shown 3 things: bathroom, water cooler (with 1 communal cup, gross!) and a fenced in area called "paradise". These are the only places we're allowed to be. We spend the rest of the day standing around in our pen, except when we are called to dinner.
We end it going to the bedroom, shower, make bed, sleep.
Brody Brooks
Approximate breakdown of nationalities, for those interested:
40% Eastern European. Russian, belarus, a lot from Ukraine. One dude from the Ukraine told me minimum wage is 120 Euros per month, worst wage in the FFL is about 1200 Euros per month, so these guys are fighting for a ten fold salary increase.
15% Colombian
15% Brazilian
5% Nepalese
5% Mongolian
5% Frenchman
10% Black Africans
3% South African (whites)
That's about it, there was a german, a greek and me.
Odds of making it all the way through the selection process and being chosen are about 10-15%. But this includes retards who don't have a passport, cant do minimum pullups, etc.
Evan Brooks
did russians beat you
Robert Morales
>I learned a lot in my 2 weeks there
Sure you think you did
Ryan Garcia
Actually, its going to take too long if I go day by day. Most days you will do one test, and then literally just sit in the pen for the rest of the day. If you fail a test, you are sent home that day.
The tests are, in order:
IQ test on the computer. Shapes, patterns, etc. 20% will be sent home from this.
Physical test (there's only 2 things).
1)Luc leger, aka the beep test. It is harder than what I practiced in that you have to put both feet past the line, not just touch the line with 1 foot. Minimum lvl 7.
2) Pullups. Pull-ups are done immediately after the beep test, they didn't tell us the minimum but I think its 7. PROPER FORM OR IT DON'T COUNT. If you want a good chance of being selected you should be doing well above the minimum, I did lvl 12 beep and 16 pullups, one of the best combined scores, but one Nepalese guy did 22 pullups.
Medical test. If you have any metal in your body from surgeries then you're basically fucked, glasses are fine my eyesight is shit but I passed everything. Urine test. Doc checks your back, joints, feet etc. If you aren't aware of any problems you're probably good.
Only about 40% of applicants will get here. Once here you become "blue", all of your belongings are taken away from you, you sign a contract and start getting paid, you are issued shorts, t-shirt, water bottle, hat, hygiene kit. You start doing menial labor instead of sitting in the cage.
Colton Russell
Monitoring this thread.
Nicholas Hall
>Most days you will do one test, and then literally just sit in the pen for the rest of the day.
I can see why you left.
Gabriel Moore
Sorry my writing is so poor, I'm just doing this quickly because I'm very tired, if you want more details just ask. Other tests once you are blue include a swimming test (50 meters), an interview with a psychologist, a hearing test and a much more thorough medical test.
THE GESTAPO
The hardest test of all is the gestapo. They are the higher-ranking officers who decide who will go "red". Once you go "red" you are issued a uniform and will be sent to basic training in the Pyrenees in 1 week, you've basically made it. I left right before I found out if I was going to be chosen for red or not.
The gestapo do an extremely thorough background check. They make you sign a paper promising not to lie about anything. If you make 1 lie, they will send you home. I never thought about this before, but it is extremely difficult to be completely 100% honest about every single facet of your life. There are multiple interviews, and they last many hours.
My gestapo agent told me, "If you have killed someone and you tell us here, we will protect you if the police come looking for you. But if you have stolen a candy bar and you don't tell us here, and the police come looking for you, we will not help you and we will hand you over to them."
It is very intense, 1 guy left crying because the officer was screaming at him "Motherfucker you are lying to me, don't you fucking lie to me". They want to know problems with justice, all about your family, sex life, education, work history, drugs everything.
1/2
Jaxon Kelly
2/2
The scariest part for me was when, during the first interview, I said I had never done any drugs other than marijuana. Remember that they had taken my phone at the start. He brought it out at the end of the 1st interview and said "Do you mind if I have a look at your phone". He made me write down the password, if I didn't I would have gone home as he would have thought I was hiding something. I did not expect this, and I had done a lot of prior research.
So this fucker spent all night I'm sure looking through everything on my phone. Jesus, I have a lot of sensitive/embarrassing stuff on there. I also have a picture of a line of cocaine I did in Tijuana. And I knew it was on there so I was kind of panicking. Obviously he brought it up the next day, but I wasn't in the pic so I just claimed that I didn't do it and that it was a hooker who did it, I just took a pic of her coke. We had a stare down, but ultimately he didn't have any proof so I didn't get sent home, but he obviously didn't believe me (and rightfully so, lol!). They also somehow found out about a speeding ticket I had, I dunno how, they have access to a lot of databases, also of course they had my phone.
The most important part of the selection process is to give good reasons for joining to the gestapo, and not be caught lying once. There's lots more to say about the selection process, ask some questions if you want to jog my memory.
Camden Bennett
Are there any prequalifications or do you just walk into some address in france?
Did you have to know french when you showed up?
Is it true they hate americans?
Chase Wilson
Is there a limit to how many time I can try to join? Do I only get one chance to join or can I try as many time as it takes?
Jace Morris
Oh, and after all the tests are done, about 3/10 people will be left. Then the gestapo will choose about half of the remaining people, like I said, 10-15% to join from the start. I don't know what my chances were, I did very well in all the tests (I prepared/researched), but being from a non-shithole country is a massive disadvantage as the risk of desertion is too high.
Other interesting stuff:
I met 3 South Africans, all were there because whites aren't allowed to join the SA military, and they wanted to get military experience. They were all super based, one of them said that he wanted the military experience to start a private mercenary group in SA to prepare for when the nogs try to genocide the whites.
They give you a new name that is the same initals as your real name, and the name will be the same type of name as from where you're from (ie. if you're French, you get a new name that sounds French).
You will go without access to phone/internet for as long as 7 MONTHS (for real). This was a contributing factor to why I left, I thought it'd be like 1 month.
The food was actually pretty good, best part for sure.
Massive advantage if you speak french, most french speakers will be chosen.
John Johnson
>So this fucker spent all night I'm sure looking through everything on my phone. Jesus, I have a lot of sensitive/embarrassing stuff on there.
That was really stupid.
>You will go without access to phone/internet for as long as 7 MONTHS (for real). This was a contributing factor to why I left, I thought it'd be like 1 month.
That has to be the most stupid reasons for leaving that I ever heard, Jesus, you really are a pampered fuck.
Owen Taylor
What are the medical tests like? how much of your record do they check?
Evan Rivera
Seriously? I always imagined the Foreign Legion as being almost GIGN tier, here it seems more people are either too retarded or have never done a pull up in their life and get the boot. Fuck I could probably do all of that with flying colors and I’m a neverserved. The Gestapo shit sounds a little intense though.
>most french speakers will be chosen
Never thought the FRENCH Foreigh Legion preferred French speakers. 7 months without internet sounds like a stupid reason to leave though.
Angel Green
You just walk up to one of about 7 locations in France. Bring a passport. Aubagne (near Marseilles, south of France) is the selection headquarters, join there to save time as all other
locations will eventually ship you there.
Yes, I knew moderate French and it was an advantage I guess. Most people there don't speak English, learning Russian would be a good idea if you want to communicate with the other applicants, French if you want to communicate with the officers.
Yes, they hate Americans. When I said I was Canadian near the beginning it was so rare that the corporal made everyone stand up and clap for me lol. I was asked numerous time by Eastern Europeans (in broken English) questions about Canada like what the capital is, I think they were trying to figure out if I was secretly an American. Even the other French applicants seemed to hate America lol, they kept bashing Trump and calling Americans fat, violent and retarded. My mom's American and I love the States but I kept quiet about that of course.
There were numerous people there who were trying a second or third time. You can try again as many times as you want after you fail any test and are sent home. You usually have to wait 1-3 months, depending on what test you failed. The only test you cannot fail is the gestapo, if they send you home you receive "inapte definitif, your profile does not match what the legion is looking for", and you can never try again.
Aaron Williams
>You will go without access to phone/internet for as long as 7 MONTHS (for real). This was a contributing factor to why I left
First world problems
Michael Nguyen
I'm guessing you aren't Quebecois, then.
Ethan Williams
>yes they hate americans
Frogs gonna frog I suppose.
Caleb Jones
Even if you delete all of your pictures, text message history, internet history, etc. they will see that you did that and they will ask you why you would do that if you have nothing to hide. I have crypto monies that I don't want to not even be able to check on for 7 months. Also my family would call interpol and think I'm dead since I didn't tell them I was joining the FFL. Fuck you.
There are 2, they check basically everything. 10-15% are sent home from it. 2 urine tests for drugs. Looking all over your bodies for scars, asking what they're from. Testing joint movement. You can't hide anything from them if you have any problems.
If you have a criminal record, they WILL find out. You can't lie, you will need to tell them about it. They don't really care either, they probably only care if you're a drug dealer of a murderer.
Also don't be gay.
Robert Ross
>I also have a picture of a line of cocaine I did in Tijuana.
Owen Bell
>Also my family would call interpol and think I'm dead since I didn't tell them I was joining the FFL.
Damn, that's one hell of a egocentric douchebag move. And as the shit cherry on top you listed your fucking cryptobux first, with your family and how you treated them like absolute fucking shit just being an afterthought.
Lucas Ross
>any metal in your body
Interesting. Does this include teeth fillings
Joseph Morris
That takes a lot of fear out of it. As long as I'm honest I'll pass the Gestapo right? Would it be suspicious if I set my phone to factory defaults? Also would me being an American be a problem? Any resources you'd recommend for learning french?
Easton Brown
>Even if you delete all of your pictures, text message history, internet history, etc. they will see that you did that and they will ask you why you would do that if you have nothing to hide.
WTF? I delete routinely all my history in my phone. Why would I want to leave sensitive personal data in a device that can be stolen or lost? Besides, here is a new word for you: "privacy", look it up! That nothing to hide bollocks is bullshit.
> Also my family would call interpol and think I'm dead since I didn't tell them I was joining the FFL.
So what, tell them you didn`t tell your family, what is the deal? are you not a grown up adult?
>Fuck you.
You too buddy, although I agree, if 7 months without your precious phone or internet is too much for you, you are not (any) army material.
Logan Davis
>that nothing to hide bollocks is bullshit
It may be bullshit, but you should probably consider what kind of person the FFL tends to attract the most. Lots of shady people probably walk in and out of those doors.
Brandon Stewart
Having a bad day because you didn't suck Daddy's dick properly and he beat you?
I honestly don't know, I think that might be ok as I didn't see anyone get sent home because of it.
It sounds like you are an American thinking of joining. Let me give you some advice:
DO NOT JOIN. THE FFL IS NOT AN ELITE MILITARY GROUP. IT IS A WELFARE AND CITIZENSHIP PROGRAM FOR DIRT POOR THIRD WORLDERS.
I guarantee you will hate it immediately upon arriving. You will spend an entire day sitting in a cage doing literally nothing, and you will realize your mistake. I don't care what your problems in America are, the life of a hobo in America is better than being a grunt in the FFL, because at least you have hope that things can get better. You have a very small chance of being selected, now matter how well you perform for the tests. The gestapo is a holistic evaluation of YOU and your reasons for joining and your suitability for the legion, and when they see that there are 100 russians desperate to join, and you aren't completely desperate, they will not choose you.
You will not see combat in the legion, you will clean toilets. They are vastly poorer than any western military, you will shoot less, you will train less, you will sit around more.
You will not see combat, you will mop floors.
Trust me, my life is absolute shit in Canada, I have no friends, basically no family, no job now, no home now, almost no money, and I'm still 100% sure that leaving was the right choice.
Levi Phillips
The Legion is nowhere close to what it once was user, like the user above me said it’s basically a glorified welfare service directed for former French colonies and the like now. Honestly most foreign legion type things nowadays aren’t worth it at all regardless of country. They’ll either give you never ending flak for being a burger or all the work you put in will give you pennies for results, often it is both.
Gavin Russell
What you don`t have exposed in your phone or social media cannot be used against you.
Don`t be a faggot that need to record all your life in social media.
If they use some glow in the dark cia niggers to hack into your home computer and watch you using your dragon dildo good for them, I doubt they would use that for selecting recruits.
And also "shady people"?? WTF, that is the FFL, they say openly they will clean your police record, is not the christian boy scouts of faggot land.
OMG shady people!! run!!!!. You know that back on the day FFL`s soldiers used to make soup with jihadists, don`t you? Or that they recruited nazis after WWII. Is that shady enough?
Michael Torres
Well shit. Thank you for telling me how it actually is over there. I'll still keep it as my absolute last plan z, but I'm going to try harder over here to fix my shit.
Mason Clark
I’m not OP you retard, I am saying instead of dealing with people either already out for blood or wanting to get back to fighting they are dealing either with desperate people from third world countries or Ukrainians fleeing the conflict in Donbass. It’s to bullshit the ones who get in to stop them from deserting. I don’t think they even get into actual fighting anymore aside from some meme skirmishes.
Get a better plan z, it seriously isn’t worth it. Even if you’re so much of a ouiaboo you have a shrine to Napoleon and pray to Charlemagne with baguette scented incense getting a citizenship and work would be 1000x better. At that point you might as well try your hand in PMC/contractor work.
Gavin Gonzalez
Thank you for telling me, I'll see what I can do over here instead. I dont want to sit in a pen with Africans
Caleb Ramirez
SA whites can't serve in the army. That's crazy.
Mason Ramirez
Makes sense though. Can't let them get that precious training, or so the government would have you think. Probably just don't want to pay them to become fighters of a group they want to genocide, make them pay out of their own pocket for courses.
Ian Adams
>Also, don't be gay.
This should be a requirement for any self-respecting military
Jose Murphy
ngl i want to join but first I plan on joining the marines and learning French and hopefully 7 months without internet won’t make me drop out lol