What are some funny and cool military names

I use to work as a Translator for a PMC group who I shall not name

they called me

TRANSGUY

Oh the hell I had to go though now i understand PTSD

it still hunts me

hey transguy

what he say transguy

transguy transyuy transguy

do you want a drink transguy

>beer can
It embarrasses me to this day

>Why they call you beer can
>Saw my dick in the showers bro
All you gotta say

Anyone from Hawaii is either Pineapple or Coconut
Just about any medic gets called “Doc”
Hometowns sometimes stick
Some real nicknames I remeber guys having I served with:
Fez
Pete (not even remotely close to his real name)
Fabs
Chunk
Mel
L.T.D.
Smoke
Rock
Rat
Tennessee
Monkey
Sgt.Hellfish
Bang
Country
Biscuit
Puddin
Vanilla Face (Asian dude)
Butters
Darkness
JIB
SnowCone
WhoreDaddy
SpaceJam

Dirty D

I'll let you all guess why

They call me big rooster at work because i look like a bigger version of another guy named rooster who was there first but the bathroom echoes when I pee and not for him

Jerry Cantrell wrote the song, not layne Staley cunt

My buddies in the Marines just called my V because my name was Finnish and it was a fucking nightmare for them to pronounce, so they just abbreviated it to V. My boots called my Cpl V, Cpl Vicious, or King Vicious cause I was mean af (always took care of em though) and I used to make them fit me in my gear like a monarch being fitted by his men, I even had one kneel and present me my rifle like a sword while another placed my kevlar on my head. Shit was funny af, we would all get a laugh out of it. My beaner buddy Guardado became Guap cause Idk why he just did. Another buddy of mine we called Tina for literally no reason. A guy named Fischer became Fish. A short chubby kid with a high and tight became Farva. Our drunk Injun buddy became Uncle Steve-O cause he did dumbass shit while drunk. Our other resident drunk was named Martin, but he was a party animal so we called him Party Marty. He once threw up and shit his pants while I was carrying him back to his room. The resident ginger was called Red Bird cause his hair was red.

Names in the military are random and at times ridiculous. Most dont make much sense beyond the original specific circumstances when they were assigned.

Leaffag here
I got stuck with number 6,
Turned out i was the 6th guy to fuck some fat reservist chick in 5 days.
This was in 2011 in wainwright, still follows me around

Carl

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Fruity Rudy
Its not gay if you want to fuck Fruity Rudy

Quality post

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I earned the moniker "MILF" after my fellow soldiers saw my mom when I graduated OSUT. A couple of those fucks went to airborne school and got the same duty station as me, and that shit spread like a yeast infection. I made up for it by being a beast on the 240B but being a new boot with a horrendous nickname like that was hell on earth

>mfw one of my buddies fucking told my team leader about my nickname on week one of arrival

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Met a guy called Bob, quiet middle aged looking fucker. Turns out his name was actually Stanley but people called him Bob because he looked like a middle aged "Bob" at 27. Never said anything about it and just went with it.

Your son, his friends and all the music that write, especially the one about you are highly overrated and boring. Yawn

I got the name Casper cause I was white and I’d show up out of nowhere.
>only white guy around and I sneak up on everyone else with out even trying.
Should have called me boss!

>not calling you a terp
veracity of anecdotal evidence doubtful

>tfw I got the nickname rooster because I always up before anyone else

>be me
>fresh from basic
>new privates being introduced to Major
>begins greeting us individually, by name
>be last in line
>have long ass foreign name
Welcome to the unit Ko... Kum... Fuck it, Imma call you Special K.
>name has stuck ever since

>sometime in 2013-2015
>some one calling for me by my nickname
>SGM from another unit over hears it and takes offence to my nickname and cries to higherups
>everyone casually agrees to drop "special" from my nickname

I was never once offended by it.

my nickname is big dick dave idk why because my name is actually ian

My first call sign was India Mike 17, "I'm 17". Was actually 17, but the simplicity of that call sign had to be explained to me.

Names Clay and get called mud all the time.

>SpaceJam
fuckin kek

Fucking great, more stories milfags

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I was Sword because my name is Sword and I was into blades

"Snapple cap" reporting.
I like to fancy myself a Hemingway, but in reality i just knew a lot of frankly useless shit for an infantryman.

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Mine was Big Red.

My best friends nickname is Bobby Hill. Mine was Pablo Escobar.

Or even just "go see the sir"

He seriously looked like this guy
Less the blue skin, obviously.
There were a few others I remembered:
YuckMouth
Scooter
Kernel
Z
BigJohnson
Duke
Doich
Rainbow Pegasus Actual (Our UAV operator)
Mijo (Spanish for “My Son”)
NookNook
Marvelous
Sacky
Orbacheck
Grazz
DasBoot
OnDogg
H-Bomb (yes, he looked like a heroin addict, but always pissed clean)

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>”But doesn’t The Sir know best? He has college and OBC, top”
>-t. smart ass Spc4 talking to 1stSgt
I loved bantz with butterbars and salty old NCO’s

I think my favorite that I've heard is Baby Bang. This young pvt ran out of ammo on a lane, so he just starts yelling bang at the opfor until one of the graders threw a temper tantrum at him. He then later got a hot .50cal brass to the ass and got the additional name of Hot BrAss.

Pics of mom?

Oh shit!
That reminded me of another we called “Danger Close”
The first time he shot an AT-4, he flinched like a str8 bitch and pulled the fucker into the dirt about 20M infront of us.
He’s lucky it was just us E4 mafia fucking around out in the middle of nowhere in Afghanistan.

>graduation
>Family shows up
>Everyone can't stop staring at my older sister
>Everyone wants to fug her but no one does
>Get called "sister" from then on

damn. that a lot of nicknames and theyre great.

My nickname is Rodders because I look like Rodney from Only Fools and Horses

We had an Aussie attached to us who we called Big Dick Nick because he apparently had a gigantic fanny whacker but I never saw it

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My nickname was baby boats because i was the youngest in my division even though I'm not a BM

>Just about any medic gets called “Doc”
>guy walks into the aid station and says "hey, doc."
>all of us look up.
fucking annoying honestly.

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How'd a guy earn Das Boot?

fungus

it's an acronym; fuck you, new guy, you suck

I honestly don’t know.
He was ets’ing, on his way out as I came in.
Only knew him for a little bit.
All I know about him was that he was in 10th Mountain and Mogadishu

Mom nudes or GTFO.

i was called old man because I was 10 years older than the average recruit going in

it stuck :(

I'm Chikorita

I bet you are, fag

Mine was Rimjob. It only really caught on when I expressed annoyance at it. Fug.

Call sign Pioneer, reporting in

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I knew an ahab (Korean guy who loved fucking fat white chicks, or "harpooning white whales"),a Double Dog (1st sgt fucked up a EY DEBIL DAWG) and a guy called Grizzly because he had a Polish last name that most couldn't pronounce but started with grzy

Guy was named Nick, called him Bob because the squadron already had 4 other Nicks. During family day he's playing floor hockey and we are all cheering him on. His Girlfriend is upset that we keep calling him Bob not Nick.
Later on we got a guy named Bob, called him Nick because we had the greatest Bob of all time already.
Scheltgen -> Shotgun, later Shotty.
Guy was a navy cook before changing trade to armor, called him The Admiral.
Two guys came in together they always hanged out with each other and were smaller shorter guys. One was East Indian the other White. Called them Burnt and Ernie. Note that's Burnt not Burt.
Hammermeister -> Hammer \ Hamstermeister then just Hamster.
Guy had a massive head, like needed a custom made helmet big head, clearly we called him Head.
Real name Crow, nickname Shit's Weak. He played hockey as a teen with Sidney Crosby. "Hey Shits how it feel to know Crosby is making millions banging sluts and your here working on a weekend for no extra pay?" "Yeah, well fuck my life."
Murdoc -> Murderface.
Vigar ->6 Gar.

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Papi (I was the oldest recruit they had seen make it through boot camp and not break somethin)

Yogi (Female Marine last name Bear)

Meth Mouth (kid had legit meth mouth)

Flight deck (kid had a head was so big you could land an F-15 on it)

Dobby (his name was Dobson. His DIs through a sock at him his last day of boot camp)

Batman (Don't know what was wrong with his vocal chords but he sounded like Christian bale from batman begins)

Wardog (real name Warmann, sounded to much like corpseman when you yell it and they docs got fed up with it and renamed him)

Sgt Fuckface (platoon guide, nobody likes him)

Was monkey black?
And who the fuck was called "puddin"?

Stuart Little or Mouse
>under 6'
>middle name was stuart

God i wanted to kill myself

>tfw my part of the military is known for its nicknames
>many of them sound cool but in reality are all a joke

I wanted a cool nickname but all I got was “sunscreen” because I would use all the issued sunscreen to jack off in the latrine and never have enough for the field constantly. Shit works though.

>jack off
>with sunscreen

Monkey was not black. White guy.
Puddin was black. He was our troop admin

>tfw my nickname is scooter cause of my last name

tall
muscular
dark hair with a slight swoosh
face with slight cleft chin

ive been called superman for like 8 years, could be worse i guess

>Female Marine

Disgusting.

Soldiers shorten names they can't say the first time- they don't even try.
Private Otengapanteng Got reduced to "O" and Sergeant Agbemehia was Sergeant "AG". Specialist Sorovchynski was "Ski", Private Falealii was "Folly"
Funny thing, if you actually learn how to say it, they really do appreciate it.
Oddly enough, only black people mangled my name. Avoided getting in trouble because of it, once.

Had one NCO that was so black that people called him "Shadow".

Our current Secretary of Defense has earned three during his career. Mad Dog, Chaos, and The Warrior Monk. He prefers to be called Chaos.

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I had a NCO so white he got called the same thing

>Tiny T
>Big T
>Echo 4 Tiny
>The Commandant's trashman.

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Good lord, LOOK, at those digits!

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I'm not sure why I added the second comma. Gomen.

Had the nickname "Ace" Because I ate a couple of those red barron frozen pizzas in the barracks and some guy was convinced I only ate them and they had the little plane dude on the box.

Not a bad name though desu.

Never knowing what my nickname would've been is probably my biggest regret about not going into the military.

>Marines
>only two drunkards
fake and ga-right, they are Marines...

I got called swiper because the first day I was with my platoon I mistook my platoon sgt's gloves for my own.

He looked for an hour before he accused me of stealing. I told him these were clearly mine, then I checked the inside.

I had to say "Aw man" everytime someone said, "swiper no swiping."

>East Indian and the other White
>Called them Burnt and Ernie.
magnificent.

Finnfag here, got nicknamed "Tonttu" ("Elf", like the ones Santa has) because of my first name, super original as I had last heard that nickname in 6th grade, is also a synonym for an idiot.

would have preferred people to use the nickname I got on 7th grade, "Ape"

Knew a guy named BLT, as in, brave little toaster. Had this terrible prison style tattoo of a toaster on his arm. Not the character from the cartoon, just a toaster. When we asked him about it all he said was " I like toast"

My nickname sucked, 'spud' because I was from Idaho, really creative

What I would give to be known as Space Jam

Was called "Bad"
>Yeah, this guy ? He's bad.

:c

We have a fuckton of nicknames
If you have a long ass name, usually it's just the first letter combined with the number of letters after it (Azerberchanelli becomes A-fourteen) until you distinguish yourself
If your name sounds remotely similar to a real word it becomes that word instead, for example Apalanes becomes Apples or Airplanes, Fisher becane Fish
Over time you get a name based on something about you; I got called Sunny because I was always in a great mood in the morning during corps school (I just downed a shitload of caffine pills and drank alot of water), my buddy became Wiki for knowing alot of shit, stuff like that
Certain jobs have nicknames that override the previous ones, mine became Doc when I got to my unit and out of medical training where everyone was a corpsman, chaplains are Chaps or Chappy, etc. If theres 2 or more of you your second nickname gets attached to it, so I was 'Doc Sunny' if they needed to specify, the Chaplain would be 'Chaps Dickerson' since we dont give officers nicknames here for whatever reason
One event will usually define your nickname for everyone and out of context it makes no sense, nicknames can change too if you get a new duty station and they decide to call you something else.
>go talk to Ma'am and get this looked at
>go let Sir know we're ready to go
The military feels like a giant BDSM erotica about 78% of the time

Can you bite it's beak off? I fucking hate it's chubby body, and I want to give it REAAAAALLL eye masks by burning it's yellow shit arab eyes with a lighter.

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They call me friendly fire Felix

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>most medics called doc
>expected my nickname to be doc
>got called band-aid by one dude and it stuck

That's way fucking cooler than 'doc'

>basic training
>doing a ruck march
>early in the morning, sleep deprived, more or less a walking zombie
>wander to the side of the road and fall into the ditch
>everyone laughs, instructors start to smoke me
>I scramble to get up, but my left leg feels like jello
>oh no
>crawl to the road, sit down and roll up my pant leg gingerly
>left knee cap is dislocated and has shifted about half an inch to the left
>medic gets called, instructors walk over still smoking me
>dont panic, played soccer in high school and this happened before, all you have to do is sling shot it back into place
>medic starts prepping but I stop him, I want to seem like a bad ass in front of everyone
>I get ready to pimp slap my knee back into place
>at the last second I panic, miss and hit myself right in the crotch
>only time I saw the instructors break character and laugh to the point of tears
>call sign for the rest of basic: Nuts

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>knows useless shit
>gets called Snapple cap
Whoever says the military isn't creative needs to be emailed a cap of this thread.

Your boobs are d cup?

Did the officers get pissed cos of the gear being put on you thing

Don't worry user, I never served but the guys at the golf course spread nicknames a fair bit.

I was "little retarded buddy."

>sergeant had two nicknames for me
>ray-ray when he was in a good mood
>fucking moron when he was in a bad mood
It was a good time, the guy loved me

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