Self defense thread? Ill start

Self defense thread? Ill start
>be me a few years ago
>19 y/o beta fag
>my only activities is hunting, masturbating and watching youtube
>its summer, and in staying with my grandpapi and grandmami
>now grandpapi used to serve in the nazi german army, but got discontent with the war and decided to leave for the us. To try and "bargain" his way into america, he brought his mg42 with him (he was a gunner)
>that and a box of ammo
>he threw all of his stuff into a car and drove from france to denmark, narrowly avoiding capture
>he then waited in Sweden until the war started going well for the allies, and took the first boat he could to america
>turns out, he never needed to give the americans anything to stay
>so he kept the Mg42 as a memory, still loaded since the day it was last used
>he taught me how to use it, but we never actually fired it
Either way
>late at night, grandpapi and grandmami is fast asleep and im watching tv downstairs (imagine a big farmhouse)
>suddenly, noise.mp4
>look outside window
>see 2 men approaching front door with crowbars, trying to break it down
>panic, but my instincts told me to protect my grands, so i did the first thing that came to mind
>move table where mg42 is standing, grandp never moved it
>aim at door and squeeze trigger
>after about a minute of rapid fire, i stop shooting
>door is gone, both intruders are cut in two pieces
>grandpaps comes running downstairs
>sees me in my firing position, completely calm
>buys me a new laptop as thanks

Attached: tenor.gif (498x280, 165K)

So youre deaf now right?
Nope, that just didnt happen

I do have bad hearing and tinitus, but that might be from other stuff aswell. Got denied military service because of it.
Not like my ears was top priority

wouldnt you get arrested for this

Not with US laws i wouldnt, since i defended my home from intruders.

i mean when they come to your grandpa's house and see he has a full auto that he let a small child fire at intruders

Again, i was 19, so because of the situation they confiscated the gun, but because of the self defence they kinda let it go. Rural judges are the best

Oh boy its euroshit posting hours

>live in apartment near college and bad side of town
>lot of foot traffic through complex all throughout the day
>got concerned so bought a few wifi cameras and set them up facing the parking lot and the front entrance
>cameras are discreet, and live feed connects to my phone
>head to dollar general to buy laundry sauce and toiletries
>get an alert on phone that someone in my apartment
>assume its the maintenance guy because hes supposed to come by to work on my dishwasher
>turns out its some guy in a hoodie looking around trying to look around the place for shit to steal
>i call the police and head back to my apartment as quick as i can
>arrive before the police and catch him trying to leave with my playstation 4
>hold him at gunpoint until the cops can arrest him, guy was tweaking like a motherfucker
>turns out the guy was a previous tenant, got evicted, and entered the apartment with a spare key because management never changed the locks
>cops haul the guy away and i make management change my locks that very day

tl;dr. Change your locks when you move into a new place...

Things that never happened: the thread.