Be at g/f's house

>be at g/f's house
>me: 22, her: 17
>age of consent is 18
>so have to keep our relationship on the down low
>netflix and chill in her living room one night, and somehow got talking anal
>g/f is curious and wants to give it a try
>hot and bothered enough to do it on the couch, too
>lays down on her front with pants and g-string down
>have trouble getting it in, even with saliva
>finally, major tom docks with fort asshole
>eh, expected better
>hear car pull into driveway
>it's her folks, who still don't know about us
>reflexively yank dick out like a champagne cork
>which then causes a chocolate fountain to pop out of her like a water balloon, and painting that whole spot of the couch brown
>says she'll blame it on the dog
>run out to the backyard and wipe dick on some leaves
>hide in bushes to see what happens next
>several minutes later
>her dad drags out a scared looking good boi by his collar
>pulls out his gun
>and summary executes him
>climb over fence once dad is back in house (leaving the corpse where it is)
>haven't heard much since

Is that even legal? It's been a few days, and as far as I'm concerned, no one reported the shots or got the police involved (and g/f doesn't want to talk about that night for obvious reasons).

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Toppest
Kek
Does her father happen to work for the ATF?

Honestly, where are you finding horny 17 year olds as a 22 year old man? Do you hang around High Schools?

Wow, all the men involved in this situation seem like digsusting quasi-nigger pieces of shit.

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i read this story in high school, come on now.

Introduced through mutual friends.

>g/f doesn't want to talk about that night for obvious reasons
Yeah shitting on your own couch is pretty embarassing. Didn't the dad wonder how the dog shot liquid shit that high? Also next time you tell the story mention that the couch is worth a lot of money, it is another good misdirection

Every time you practice sodomy, a dog dies.

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What the fuck kind of person kills their dog because it shit everywhere?

this greentext is old you fucking newfags

That still leaves many questions unanswered, user

Rednecks.

For Jow Forums, that wouldn't really be off.

>like a champagne cork
lol

Back to tumblr/reddit with your reposts

Kill yourself degenerate.

>this old as fuck pasta

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I would be aghast if I hadn't read this before.

Now this is a pasta I have not heard in a long time.
An hero yourself, roody-poo

Fuck off, Jow Forums loves dogs more than Hitler did

i mean i know it's shit pasta but most dog owners, upon coming home and seeing liquid shit everywhere and being understandably angry about it, are going to be at least mildly concerned about the health of their dog being that ALL OF A SUDDEN the dog is sick and has sprayed shit all over the living room

You are fucking weird for fucking 17 year olds when your 22. Your gf is a whore and does the same things with other guys. Her dad is a brain dead faggot for killing the doggo. I hope he finds out about the truth and beats you to death with the guns instead of shooting you.

I remember this story. hope it's fake and an innocent doggo didn't get atf'd for OP

Are these the faggy neonazi larpers? The name escapes me.

>dogs cant get onto couches

>being this new and not knowing the original story

What the fuck kind of person keeps five year old stale pasta?
>jacking off to shot doggo?
>t.atf