Too heavy of a sleeper to be woken up by Bubbas breaking into my house

>too heavy of a sleeper to be woken up by Bubbas breaking into my house
>don't wanna scare them off with a home alarm or a dog

What do I do Jow Forums?

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can you sleep through lights blinking?

>too heavy of a sleeper
Translating from ebonics
>im too lazy
Tell your wife to stop putting your alarm clock in your workboots.

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Don't sleep.
Ambush.

Get some cute pajamas, cute sheets, and a sign that says you like to be cuddled so long as whoever's doing it isn't all stinky and has cleaned up first. On seeing how cute you look fast asleep, a home invader would realize that they'd get more enjoyment out of the cuddling than they would out of whatever money they'd get pawning your stuff and would happily accept your offer. On top of this, because you're a heavy sleeper, they'll be able to clean up without disturbing you.

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First, try sleeping w/ a night light. By sleeping in a partially lit room you are less likely to have deep sleep for extended periods of time. The less time spent in the deep sleeping stages, the easier it will be to awaken when there's a disturbance.

Another way to lighten your sleep is to leave a television set on low in the background. Having constant dim light & low noise will keep you in the stages of sleep that are easier to awaken from.

>By sleeping in a partially lit room you are less likely to have deep sleep for extended periods of time.
Bullshit, i do this and I have slept through smoke alarms.

You can order a motion senor set that makes a noise at the base station. I bought one on Amazon and tossed the sensor in my truck after it got broken into. I can shoot a thief at night in my state (Texas) so I hope they come back. Motion triggers the sensor, the base by my bedside makes a noise. Put these around your house, or outside your windows.

says the nigger too dumb to read

>Get motion sensors of a sort
>Place them around your property where people are most likely to force an entry
>Have them connected to your phone or a speaker near your bed
>???
>profit
But just know if you ever do have to draw your gun on some impoverished black youth breaking into you're property, I can guarantee a screenshot of this post of you blatantly saying you dont want a dog or alarm system will be presented against you so fuckin fast.
Just watch, it'll be spun as "he was obviously aware there were other options that would've scared off my client but decided to trust himself and his gun. Your honor it's obvious this man is mentally unwell and was clearly trying to set up some kind of way to entrap my clients into a murder under the guise of home defense and self protection"

Rig up your alarm so that instead of making noise, it turns on a carefully prepared George foreman grill with bacon on it so the delicious smell of bacon will wake you up. Might also work with a bread maker. Love that smell.

>your house gets broken into
>you get your gun and go down stairs
>it's the police who got the wrong address for their no-knock raid
>they shoot you for brandishing before you realize this
>get charged for assault of an officer for brandishing when you get out of hospital

>less likely

Did somebody say K-On thread?

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You've disturbed me plenty

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Oh yeah? Well check these out!

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We can go lewder

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That 30 year old boomer feel when K-On was the last great anime.

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I have a pebble watch that I programmed an app for that will cause the watch to vibrate when the alarm is triggered. totally silent and has worked flawlessly to wake me up when I set my normal morning alarms.